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i got these today:
Key to a Happy Life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a
case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
and:
Working with Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a
local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't
move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily
dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why
he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he
wouldn't
even try!"
i get jokes etc almost daily from hotmail. Filled my inbox but some are quite good.
Key to a Happy Life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a
case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
and:
Working with Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a
local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't
move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily
dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why
he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he
wouldn't
even try!"
i get jokes etc almost daily from hotmail. Filled my inbox but some are quite good.
i got these today:
Key to a Happy Life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a
case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
and:
Working with Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a
local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't
move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily
dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why
he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he
wouldn't
even try!"
i get jokes etc almost daily from hotmail. Filled my inbox but some are quite good.
Key to a Happy Life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a
case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
and:
Working with Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a
local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't
move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily
dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why
he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he
wouldn't
even try!"
i get jokes etc almost daily from hotmail. Filled my inbox but some are quite good.
First one is pretty good. I skimmed the last one. Didnt understand...
Or maybe its just me? Being dumb and all :o)
Or maybe its just me? Being dumb and all :o)
i agree first one was better.
Somwhere i have stupid things famous people have said...
Somwhere i have stupid things famous people have said...
They're good! I get random embarassing stories, some of which are good, others are just rubbish!
How do you get the jokes sent to you?
I like this joke:
One day a man walked down the street with his dog.
Half - way around the block he heard a policeman shout 'OI ,IF I SEE THAT DOG OF YOURS FOULING ON THE PAVEMENT AGAIN I'LL FINE YOU. GO AND TEACH IT TO DO ONE IN THE GUTTER.' So the man walked off and done this.
Few weeks later he saw the same policeman again.
'ALLO,ALLO,ALOO. WHERES THE DOG THEN' asked the policeman.
'HE DIED' said the man.
'SORRY TO HEAR THAT. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN THEN?' asked the policeman again.
'WELL, I WAS TAECHING IT TO FOUL IN THE GUTTER AND HE FELL OFF THE ROOF'.
I also like this one:
I once joined the boy scouts. One day we went on a camping trip. They told me to pitch a tent. They didn't have no pitch, so I used creasote.
One day a man walked down the street with his dog.
Half - way around the block he heard a policeman shout 'OI ,IF I SEE THAT DOG OF YOURS FOULING ON THE PAVEMENT AGAIN I'LL FINE YOU. GO AND TEACH IT TO DO ONE IN THE GUTTER.' So the man walked off and done this.
Few weeks later he saw the same policeman again.
'ALLO,ALLO,ALOO. WHERES THE DOG THEN' asked the policeman.
'HE DIED' said the man.
'SORRY TO HEAR THAT. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN THEN?' asked the policeman again.
'WELL, I WAS TAECHING IT TO FOUL IN THE GUTTER AND HE FELL OFF THE ROOF'.
I also like this one:
I once joined the boy scouts. One day we went on a camping trip. They told me to pitch a tent. They didn't have no pitch, so I used creasote.