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9am outside the Oracle's office: -
Spoonboy:- Do not try and bend the spoon, instead only try and realise the truth...
Neo:- What truth?
Spoonboy:- There is no spoon.
Neo:- U WHA-? There is NO SPOON? WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO EAT BREAKFAST WITH? A SPADE?????
Spoonboy:- Err... Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends.. It is yourself.
Neo slaps Spoonboy round the head.
Neo:- Give me THAT!!!!!! (Snatches the spoon from the kid)
Spoonboy starts crying.
Neo goes over to the cupboard and gets out some Coco Pops and uses the spoon to eat it with.
Neo:- Mmmmn fooood....
Oracle's Assistant comes out into the waiting room.
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Mm-u ug? (chomping the Coco Pops)
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Me? Why?
Assistant:- Err.. You came here to find out if you were the One, Neo, didn't you?
Neo:- I did?
Assistant:- Yes, Morpheus said -
Neo:- Aah! Him! I remember now! He told me I won't have to dodge bullets if I couldn't be bothered to! And then he told me to dress up in this black suit and drove me here. As we got out of the car I saw that dodgy geezer with us drop a mobile into a dustbin. I tell you, the youth of today! Pshaw! Does he even know how much a mobile costs these days?? Having no respect for the technology that surrounds us! I mean if it weren't for technology, where would we be right now?? Imagine living in a huge underground wasteland city with no sun, no sky, skanky air etc etc.. Wouldn't that be DISGUSTING?
Assistant:- Neo, you are a fool.
Neo:- Don't cuss me. I am the One. See rearrange my name Neo and it becomes the One.
Assistant:- Yeah that's nice, it also becomes ENO, EON, NOE etc etc..
Neo:- Don't cuss my name. I am the One.
Assistant:- You just disrespected the whole of Zion and everything we have fought for. I will now cane you into oblivion.
Neo:- I'm your guest. I demand you treat me with respect. And Zion is pants. And I am the One.
Assistant assumes the "crane" position in Kung Fu, as if about to attack.
Neo:- What the hell is that? You got a cramp in your leg?
Assistant:- You are about to take a kicking.
Neo:- Listen, yeah, I caned Morpheus. You don't wanna mess with me. You'll regret it.
Assistant:- Take THIS!
POW! BIFF! WHAM! KERRRACK! KABLOOEY! (and other assorted Batman exclamations)
Neo:- No.
Assistant is stuck in mid air, in front of Neo's raised hand. Neo blinks at the assistant. The Assistant falls and crashes head first into the ground.
Spoonboy stops crying and gets up.
Spoonboy:- I swear I will vitiate your so called Oneness. Your pertinence will not be tolerated!
Neo:- Whoa
Spoonboy:- What whoa?
Neo:- You used a big word kid
Spoonboy:- Pertinence?
Neo:- "not"
Spoonboy goes bright red with anger.
Spoonboy:- You GIT! You took my spoon and now you cuss my language skills! YOU WILL PAY!
Neo:- I am the One. You must pay.
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Hey that's my line!
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Spoonheadboy, I am going to waste you after I finish my Coco Pops.
Oracle Assistant #2 comes out.
Assistant #2:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Yeah whatever.
Assistant #2:- Why are you being like this?
Neo:- Look, I'm the One, you all know it. Just live with it and stop being jealous.
Assistant #2:- Only the Oracle can tell you whether you are the One or not.
Neo:- Shad up! All the Oracle does is to try and mess with your mind by using multiple negatives and asking stupid questions. I'm going to go in there, and she'll think she's all clever and make me say I am not the One, when you all know that I blatantly am. She knows I am too, but she'll try and mess with my mind. She won't actually ever say I am not the One, nor will she say I am the One. Since you all know I'm the One, why do I have to deal with this grief?
Assistant #2:- Hmmn.. You do have a point there Neo.
Neo:- Call me the One.
Spoonboy in the background levitates a knife off the edge of the table, and uses his mind to bend it, behind Neo's back. The knife turns and points at Neo's back. An evil grin appears on his face.
Assistant #2:- Neo! I mean the One! Watch out! BEHIND YOU!
Neo:- Whoa
The bent knife flies at bullet speed at Neo, as he turns around. In a death-defying moment of despair, Neo holds up the chocolatey-milk covered spoon and deflects the knife into Spoonboy.
Spoonboy:- Noooooooooooooo!!!
Neo:- Hey you're stealing my line Kid. I am the One, and that too, the One who is allowed to say No.
Gustappos sound as Spoonboy sinks to the floor, with the bent knife (somehow) sticking into him.
Neo:- This is boring. So much for being a mindjob! I want out!
Neo yawns and walks out of the door.
Spoonboy:- Do not try and bend the spoon, instead only try and realise the truth...
Neo:- What truth?
Spoonboy:- There is no spoon.
Neo:- U WHA-? There is NO SPOON? WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO EAT BREAKFAST WITH? A SPADE?????
Spoonboy:- Err... Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends.. It is yourself.
Neo slaps Spoonboy round the head.
Neo:- Give me THAT!!!!!! (Snatches the spoon from the kid)
Spoonboy starts crying.
Neo goes over to the cupboard and gets out some Coco Pops and uses the spoon to eat it with.
Neo:- Mmmmn fooood....
Oracle's Assistant comes out into the waiting room.
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Mm-u ug? (chomping the Coco Pops)
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Me? Why?
Assistant:- Err.. You came here to find out if you were the One, Neo, didn't you?
Neo:- I did?
Assistant:- Yes, Morpheus said -
Neo:- Aah! Him! I remember now! He told me I won't have to dodge bullets if I couldn't be bothered to! And then he told me to dress up in this black suit and drove me here. As we got out of the car I saw that dodgy geezer with us drop a mobile into a dustbin. I tell you, the youth of today! Pshaw! Does he even know how much a mobile costs these days?? Having no respect for the technology that surrounds us! I mean if it weren't for technology, where would we be right now?? Imagine living in a huge underground wasteland city with no sun, no sky, skanky air etc etc.. Wouldn't that be DISGUSTING?
Assistant:- Neo, you are a fool.
Neo:- Don't cuss me. I am the One. See rearrange my name Neo and it becomes the One.
Assistant:- Yeah that's nice, it also becomes ENO, EON, NOE etc etc..
Neo:- Don't cuss my name. I am the One.
Assistant:- You just disrespected the whole of Zion and everything we have fought for. I will now cane you into oblivion.
Neo:- I'm your guest. I demand you treat me with respect. And Zion is pants. And I am the One.
Assistant assumes the "crane" position in Kung Fu, as if about to attack.
Neo:- What the hell is that? You got a cramp in your leg?
Assistant:- You are about to take a kicking.
Neo:- Listen, yeah, I caned Morpheus. You don't wanna mess with me. You'll regret it.
Assistant:- Take THIS!
POW! BIFF! WHAM! KERRRACK! KABLOOEY! (and other assorted Batman exclamations)
Neo:- No.
Assistant is stuck in mid air, in front of Neo's raised hand. Neo blinks at the assistant. The Assistant falls and crashes head first into the ground.
Spoonboy stops crying and gets up.
Spoonboy:- I swear I will vitiate your so called Oneness. Your pertinence will not be tolerated!
Neo:- Whoa
Spoonboy:- What whoa?
Neo:- You used a big word kid
Spoonboy:- Pertinence?
Neo:- "not"
Spoonboy goes bright red with anger.
Spoonboy:- You GIT! You took my spoon and now you cuss my language skills! YOU WILL PAY!
Neo:- I am the One. You must pay.
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Hey that's my line!
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Spoonheadboy, I am going to waste you after I finish my Coco Pops.
Oracle Assistant #2 comes out.
Assistant #2:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Yeah whatever.
Assistant #2:- Why are you being like this?
Neo:- Look, I'm the One, you all know it. Just live with it and stop being jealous.
Assistant #2:- Only the Oracle can tell you whether you are the One or not.
Neo:- Shad up! All the Oracle does is to try and mess with your mind by using multiple negatives and asking stupid questions. I'm going to go in there, and she'll think she's all clever and make me say I am not the One, when you all know that I blatantly am. She knows I am too, but she'll try and mess with my mind. She won't actually ever say I am not the One, nor will she say I am the One. Since you all know I'm the One, why do I have to deal with this grief?
Assistant #2:- Hmmn.. You do have a point there Neo.
Neo:- Call me the One.
Spoonboy in the background levitates a knife off the edge of the table, and uses his mind to bend it, behind Neo's back. The knife turns and points at Neo's back. An evil grin appears on his face.
Assistant #2:- Neo! I mean the One! Watch out! BEHIND YOU!
Neo:- Whoa
The bent knife flies at bullet speed at Neo, as he turns around. In a death-defying moment of despair, Neo holds up the chocolatey-milk covered spoon and deflects the knife into Spoonboy.
Spoonboy:- Noooooooooooooo!!!
Neo:- Hey you're stealing my line Kid. I am the One, and that too, the One who is allowed to say No.
Gustappos sound as Spoonboy sinks to the floor, with the bent knife (somehow) sticking into him.
Neo:- This is boring. So much for being a mindjob! I want out!
Neo yawns and walks out of the door.
9am outside the Oracle's office: -
Spoonboy:- Do not try and bend the spoon, instead only try and realise the truth...
Neo:- What truth?
Spoonboy:- There is no spoon.
Neo:- U WHA-? There is NO SPOON? WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO EAT BREAKFAST WITH? A SPADE?????
Spoonboy:- Err... Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends.. It is yourself.
Neo slaps Spoonboy round the head.
Neo:- Give me THAT!!!!!! (Snatches the spoon from the kid)
Spoonboy starts crying.
Neo goes over to the cupboard and gets out some Coco Pops and uses the spoon to eat it with.
Neo:- Mmmmn fooood....
Oracle's Assistant comes out into the waiting room.
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Mm-u ug? (chomping the Coco Pops)
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Me? Why?
Assistant:- Err.. You came here to find out if you were the One, Neo, didn't you?
Neo:- I did?
Assistant:- Yes, Morpheus said -
Neo:- Aah! Him! I remember now! He told me I won't have to dodge bullets if I couldn't be bothered to! And then he told me to dress up in this black suit and drove me here. As we got out of the car I saw that dodgy geezer with us drop a mobile into a dustbin. I tell you, the youth of today! Pshaw! Does he even know how much a mobile costs these days?? Having no respect for the technology that surrounds us! I mean if it weren't for technology, where would we be right now?? Imagine living in a huge underground wasteland city with no sun, no sky, skanky air etc etc.. Wouldn't that be DISGUSTING?
Assistant:- Neo, you are a fool.
Neo:- Don't cuss me. I am the One. See rearrange my name Neo and it becomes the One.
Assistant:- Yeah that's nice, it also becomes ENO, EON, NOE etc etc..
Neo:- Don't cuss my name. I am the One.
Assistant:- You just disrespected the whole of Zion and everything we have fought for. I will now cane you into oblivion.
Neo:- I'm your guest. I demand you treat me with respect. And Zion is pants. And I am the One.
Assistant assumes the "crane" position in Kung Fu, as if about to attack.
Neo:- What the hell is that? You got a cramp in your leg?
Assistant:- You are about to take a kicking.
Neo:- Listen, yeah, I caned Morpheus. You don't wanna mess with me. You'll regret it.
Assistant:- Take THIS!
POW! BIFF! WHAM! KERRRACK! KABLOOEY! (and other assorted Batman exclamations)
Neo:- No.
Assistant is stuck in mid air, in front of Neo's raised hand. Neo blinks at the assistant. The Assistant falls and crashes head first into the ground.
Spoonboy stops crying and gets up.
Spoonboy:- I swear I will vitiate your so called Oneness. Your pertinence will not be tolerated!
Neo:- Whoa
Spoonboy:- What whoa?
Neo:- You used a big word kid
Spoonboy:- Pertinence?
Neo:- "not"
Spoonboy goes bright red with anger.
Spoonboy:- You GIT! You took my spoon and now you cuss my language skills! YOU WILL PAY!
Neo:- I am the One. You must pay.
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Hey that's my line!
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Spoonheadboy, I am going to waste you after I finish my Coco Pops.
Oracle Assistant #2 comes out.
Assistant #2:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Yeah whatever.
Assistant #2:- Why are you being like this?
Neo:- Look, I'm the One, you all know it. Just live with it and stop being jealous.
Assistant #2:- Only the Oracle can tell you whether you are the One or not.
Neo:- Shad up! All the Oracle does is to try and mess with your mind by using multiple negatives and asking stupid questions. I'm going to go in there, and she'll think she's all clever and make me say I am not the One, when you all know that I blatantly am. She knows I am too, but she'll try and mess with my mind. She won't actually ever say I am not the One, nor will she say I am the One. Since you all know I'm the One, why do I have to deal with this grief?
Assistant #2:- Hmmn.. You do have a point there Neo.
Neo:- Call me the One.
Spoonboy in the background levitates a knife off the edge of the table, and uses his mind to bend it, behind Neo's back. The knife turns and points at Neo's back. An evil grin appears on his face.
Assistant #2:- Neo! I mean the One! Watch out! BEHIND YOU!
Neo:- Whoa
The bent knife flies at bullet speed at Neo, as he turns around. In a death-defying moment of despair, Neo holds up the chocolatey-milk covered spoon and deflects the knife into Spoonboy.
Spoonboy:- Noooooooooooooo!!!
Neo:- Hey you're stealing my line Kid. I am the One, and that too, the One who is allowed to say No.
Gustappos sound as Spoonboy sinks to the floor, with the bent knife (somehow) sticking into him.
Neo:- This is boring. So much for being a mindjob! I want out!
Neo yawns and walks out of the door.
Spoonboy:- Do not try and bend the spoon, instead only try and realise the truth...
Neo:- What truth?
Spoonboy:- There is no spoon.
Neo:- U WHA-? There is NO SPOON? WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO EAT BREAKFAST WITH? A SPADE?????
Spoonboy:- Err... Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends.. It is yourself.
Neo slaps Spoonboy round the head.
Neo:- Give me THAT!!!!!! (Snatches the spoon from the kid)
Spoonboy starts crying.
Neo goes over to the cupboard and gets out some Coco Pops and uses the spoon to eat it with.
Neo:- Mmmmn fooood....
Oracle's Assistant comes out into the waiting room.
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Mm-u ug? (chomping the Coco Pops)
Assistant:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Me? Why?
Assistant:- Err.. You came here to find out if you were the One, Neo, didn't you?
Neo:- I did?
Assistant:- Yes, Morpheus said -
Neo:- Aah! Him! I remember now! He told me I won't have to dodge bullets if I couldn't be bothered to! And then he told me to dress up in this black suit and drove me here. As we got out of the car I saw that dodgy geezer with us drop a mobile into a dustbin. I tell you, the youth of today! Pshaw! Does he even know how much a mobile costs these days?? Having no respect for the technology that surrounds us! I mean if it weren't for technology, where would we be right now?? Imagine living in a huge underground wasteland city with no sun, no sky, skanky air etc etc.. Wouldn't that be DISGUSTING?
Assistant:- Neo, you are a fool.
Neo:- Don't cuss me. I am the One. See rearrange my name Neo and it becomes the One.
Assistant:- Yeah that's nice, it also becomes ENO, EON, NOE etc etc..
Neo:- Don't cuss my name. I am the One.
Assistant:- You just disrespected the whole of Zion and everything we have fought for. I will now cane you into oblivion.
Neo:- I'm your guest. I demand you treat me with respect. And Zion is pants. And I am the One.
Assistant assumes the "crane" position in Kung Fu, as if about to attack.
Neo:- What the hell is that? You got a cramp in your leg?
Assistant:- You are about to take a kicking.
Neo:- Listen, yeah, I caned Morpheus. You don't wanna mess with me. You'll regret it.
Assistant:- Take THIS!
POW! BIFF! WHAM! KERRRACK! KABLOOEY! (and other assorted Batman exclamations)
Neo:- No.
Assistant is stuck in mid air, in front of Neo's raised hand. Neo blinks at the assistant. The Assistant falls and crashes head first into the ground.
Spoonboy stops crying and gets up.
Spoonboy:- I swear I will vitiate your so called Oneness. Your pertinence will not be tolerated!
Neo:- Whoa
Spoonboy:- What whoa?
Neo:- You used a big word kid
Spoonboy:- Pertinence?
Neo:- "not"
Spoonboy goes bright red with anger.
Spoonboy:- You GIT! You took my spoon and now you cuss my language skills! YOU WILL PAY!
Neo:- I am the One. You must pay.
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Hey that's my line!
Spoonboy:- No
Neo:- Spoonheadboy, I am going to waste you after I finish my Coco Pops.
Oracle Assistant #2 comes out.
Assistant #2:- The Oracle will see you now Neo.
Neo:- Yeah whatever.
Assistant #2:- Why are you being like this?
Neo:- Look, I'm the One, you all know it. Just live with it and stop being jealous.
Assistant #2:- Only the Oracle can tell you whether you are the One or not.
Neo:- Shad up! All the Oracle does is to try and mess with your mind by using multiple negatives and asking stupid questions. I'm going to go in there, and she'll think she's all clever and make me say I am not the One, when you all know that I blatantly am. She knows I am too, but she'll try and mess with my mind. She won't actually ever say I am not the One, nor will she say I am the One. Since you all know I'm the One, why do I have to deal with this grief?
Assistant #2:- Hmmn.. You do have a point there Neo.
Neo:- Call me the One.
Spoonboy in the background levitates a knife off the edge of the table, and uses his mind to bend it, behind Neo's back. The knife turns and points at Neo's back. An evil grin appears on his face.
Assistant #2:- Neo! I mean the One! Watch out! BEHIND YOU!
Neo:- Whoa
The bent knife flies at bullet speed at Neo, as he turns around. In a death-defying moment of despair, Neo holds up the chocolatey-milk covered spoon and deflects the knife into Spoonboy.
Spoonboy:- Noooooooooooooo!!!
Neo:- Hey you're stealing my line Kid. I am the One, and that too, the One who is allowed to say No.
Gustappos sound as Spoonboy sinks to the floor, with the bent knife (somehow) sticking into him.
Neo:- This is boring. So much for being a mindjob! I want out!
Neo yawns and walks out of the door.
It started off good but I think you tried too hard for chat:)
Very funny.