The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
[The Craziest Col is picking daisies with his dog Fazhizt when he hears a terrible scream.]
The Craziest Col: What on earth could that be? Come Fazhizt we must investigate this truly strange sound.
[Kyz22 the rabbit in a waistcoat. Comes over the hill.]
Kyz22: Damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have set my watch by the SR clock! I’m going to be late, I mustn’t be late no, I wont get my GAD.
[Kyz22 twists a daisy which is in-fact a door knob, opens a turf covered door and disappears into the darkness beyond muttering something about a Matt Le Blanc.]
The Craziest Col: Fazhizt why didn’t you try to disembowel that rabbit? What do I feed you rabbit for?
[Fazhizt looks confused and dons a black armband, giving a little doggy salute.]
The Craziest Col: That’s better. Now I think we should follow that thing and find out what it’s up to.
[The Craziest Col and Fazhizt begin to make for the doorway when there is another terrible scream.
Lil Ginge comes running down the hill. Col sees her and slicks back his hair as Lil Ginge runs towards them.]
Lil Ginge: It’s a – a p – a p
The Craziest Col: Calm down dear! Now tell me what’s wrong
Lil Ginge: It’s a purple monster!
Col and Lil Ginge: Ahhhhhhh!
[The Craziest Col and Lil Ginge run for the doorway as faint thuds can be heard in the distance. They get in and slam the door shut.]
Col: Luckily we didn’t have any coffee of he’d have caught us and eaten us for sure.
Lil Ginge: I can’t see now!
The Craziest Col: Don’t worry.
[There is a strange clicking noise as if a dial is being turned. Fazhizt’s eyes can now be seen glowing and illuminating a large hallway lined with red scales and punctuated by outstretched roots, which have broken through. Fazhizt urinates upon a small gnome ornament, which had previously been unnoticed.]
The Craziest Col: Oh no! Out of the frying pan and into the fire!
Lil Ginge: Why? What’s it mean.
The Craziest Col: Don’t you see? It’s a sign of the Notables.
Lil Ginge: No. I thought they all died out in the great GAD war of ‘cheaters never prosper’?
The Craziest Col: No. The ancient texts claim some escaped in the great "Winners Don’t Use Drugs" machine built by the ancient bearded-snuggly-ninja’s of old! I never believed it until now.
[Suddenly the gnome’s eyes light up. Fazhizt barks at it. The gnome begins to parade around in a small pattern. The gnome begins to speak in a munchkin voice.]
Gnome: Winners don’t use drugs. Winners don’t use drugs. Winner’s don’t use drugs.
[From out of the dark a lone, shrouded figure, steps forward and stamps on the gnome breaking it into several pieces.]
Shrouded Figure: He who disturbs the Gnomes has brass monkeys of the highest order of Allistair.
The Craziest Col: Yes I’ve been growing them in my garden.
Shrouded Figure: Could it be that you are the one? The Fabled ‘brain’?
The Craziest Col: Dunno mate. We’ve got a purple monster outside so we’ve gotta go this way.
Shrouded Figure: But you cannot go! I haven’t begun your training, we need months of preparation.
The Craziest Col: Shut it mate. I’ve played Socom. I know how to handle myself.
Shrouded Figure: Oh very well. I am master Tigamilla of the order of Magical Super Newbies. But you may call me Tig.
The Craziest Col: Well what’s the situation old man? How do we get out of here? And what are Magical Super Newbies?
Tigamilla: The situation is that the Notables plan to take back all the domains of the reserve worlds. They are tired of their world of life and they aim to conquer all the forum ring planets. Even the Stronghold of Chatannus.
[Col nods as if this is nothing new.]
Tigamilla: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. The Notables are building a Goatstar to attack and bombard the domains with reason and definitions.
The Craziest Col: (Gasps) They mean to control our chaos with RULES and ORDER. This must be stopped!
Tigamilla: Indeed it must young Col.
The Craziest Col: How did you know…..
Tigamilla: Don’t ask foolish questions boy. I have seen this come to pass, the end is blurry but I feel with our Magical Super Newbies we shall be an unstoppable force with enough power to destroy the Goatstar.
The Craziest Col. So these Magical Super Newbies, they are warriors?
Tigamilla: Yes they are warriors of chaos and idiocy honed in the vats of the darkest recesses of Chatannus. The MSN’s are under my control but I will teach you how to issue them rudimentary commands. You will be able to command them to spew spam over a large area.
The Craziest Col: Cool, I can do that. Is this a weakness of the Notables?
Tigamilla: Yes, if we can bury them in enough spam then we will have them at a disadvantage.
Lil Ginge: What can I do?
Tigamila: Erm, as far as I know you just stand there and look nice (pats Ginge’s head)
[Lil Ginge wanders off muttering something about handbags.]
The Craziest Col: So How do we get out of here?
Tigamilla: I will use the MSN’s.
[Tigamilla raises his arms and mutters some minor incantation. We hear evil sounding chattering from the darkness and red eyes slowly appear dotted everywhere.]
--------------------
[The Scene changes. We are now in a grey circular and metallic room. In the middle of the room, in an over-sized chair, sits Goatboy. Er-no enters, he speaks with a voice like Kip out of Futurama.]
Er-no: Sir, I bring news from my dot com destroyer. The purple monster we dropped was unsuccessful and was evaded by the one called Col. He saved the girl too.
Goatboy: The Girl? Good, more violation for the future. Now they are of little consequence. The Goatstar progresses unhindered and we have the power of the three in check. Soon Wookie monster shall fall in line next to You, me and Lord Edgy.
Er-no: And what of Lord Pb?
Goatboy: Lord Pb is no more. We found him today, a few rogue MSN’s managed to penetrate his ships defenses and they were pinged from existence before they knew what hit them.
Er-no: And Lord Sniper?
Goatboy: Sniper is none of my concern. Let the MSN’s have him. I will not tolerate dissention in my ranks.
[A square forms out of thin air. Wookie Monster can be seen on it.]
Wookie Monster: Lord Goatboy, I bring urgent news. MSN’s have broken through our defences and are in the process of spamming the gateways! I need an immediate evac! We can still save some of the chosen.
Goatboy: Goatboy out.
Wookie Monster: But…
[The screen fades into thin air.]
Er-no: What are your orders sir?
Goatboy: Leave them to rot.
Er-no: May AOL have mercy on their souls.
Goatboy: (slams his fist on the chairs arm) AOL has nothing to do with it! Now leave!
[The scene changes. We are now in a great blue hall, which is clearly surrounded by water. In the room we see Col, Tigamilla and Borat.]
Borat: Greetings gentlemen I trust the transporters were not too uncomfortable?
Col: No
Tigamilla: Quite adequate, I never needed that earlobe anyway. Now to business, Wookie Monster’s deception has succeeded and we are on the brink of shattering Goatboys Alliance and the Goatstar.
Borat: Yes, but the MSN’s are becoming difficult to control they’re cybering one another at an alarming rate and they are unstable from the lack of fighting.
Tigamilla: Good this will make them all the more deadly when we make the final push.
Borat: We also managed to deal with Lord Pb. Some rogue MSN’s managed to get his transporters IP. However we lost one of the inspecting shuttles to the MSN’s. This troubles me greatly Tiga, those MSN’s are not hearing the incantations like they used to.
Tigamilla: PFFT. You cannot make an spam war without breaking some lines. Col has become very adept at controlling the MSN’s and I think we shall have no trouble.
Col: Where’s Fazhizt?
Borat: Fazhizt?
Tigamilla: The boys dog. I’m sure he’s around here somewhere (turns round)
[Col and Borat both gasp. We see Fazhizt’s behind (what remains) has been melded to the back of Tigamilla.]
Tigamilla: Have you a drink? I seem to be quite thirsty (pants a bit and scratches an ear)
Fazist’s glowing ability seems to emanate from Tigamillas behind.
Borat: (to Col) He always thought the sun shone out of his ass!
------------------------
[The scene changes. We see a purple cube move through space towards a planet. We hear the disembodied voice of the captain.]
Dringo: This is the starship Cubumber calling the planet Nintoe. I am on final vector and will be landing shortly. Good to be home. Over.
[There is silence.]
Dringo: Repeat. This is the Starship Cubumber am on final vector…..
[Suddenly we see a dark crescent edge out from behind the planet.]
Edgy: (also a disembodied voice) This is the Goatstar cease your approach and prepare to be boarded. This planet is under the protection of the Alliance.
Dringo: I can’t break the cycle now. It’s too late.
Edgy: Correct. It is too late.
[Something comes round the curve of the planet and approaches the purple ship.]
Missile: I am Hercules! I am invincible feel my pro fire!!
[The Hercules missile explodes into the purple ship. The purple ship is vaporized.]
Edgy: That’ll teach them to install a non-standard drive!
[The scene changes. We are back in Goatboys control room. Goatboy and Er-no enter.]
Goatboy: So I told her she obviously didn’t do enough jaw-yoga!
Er-no: Yeah. Good one.
[Goatboy and Er-no notice the reader.]
Er-no: What the f…
Goatboy: (cough)Yes, how did the invasion go?(cough) According to plan?
Er-no: Ahem. The invasion went according to plan.
[Goatboy half-runs to his seat.]
Goatboy: Ahem. Very good. Any transgressors?
Er-no: Only a intriguing hybrid ship. The likes I have never seen.
Goatboy: It was destroyed, was it not?
Er-no: Yes, in accordance with your instructions.
Goatboy: Good Nintoe is ours.
[Goatboy looks pretty peeved at Er-no. Er-no mouths ‘what’ silently at Goatboy.]
---------------------
[The scene changes. We are back at Borat’s underwater complex. A special seat has been constructed so that Tigamilla can sit down. Col is fiddling with himself in the corner and Borat is sitting in a big inflatable chair.]
Borat: So, what do you think of the throne.]
Tigamilla. Er. It’s great Lando(cough cough). Sorry, Borat. It’s truly a gem.
Borat. It floats if this place starts to leak.
[We see a servant putting plasters over cracks in the walls.]
Borat: Good work servant.
DW: Thank you master. I live to serve. We live to serve.
Borat: Yes, yes. All good. (Looks at Col) Is he doing what I think he’s doing?
[Col mumbles something about 512MB’s of filth.]
Tigamilla: Leave him be. It’ll probably plug a few cracks
DW: EWWW!!
[DW runs off, away from the cracks he was sorting out near Col.]
Borat: Well he’s disturbing the servants.
[A screen materializes out of thin air in-front of Borat. We see Maverick 42 on the screen.]
Maverick42: Sir we’ve lost Nintoe to the Alliance.
Borat: Noooooooooooooo!
[DW runs back in]
DW: Your subscription to Big Gals monthly has run out sir.
Borat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Craziest Col: Shut up! You’re putting me off my stroke.
Tigamilla: We need to move the big push forward.
[Col is now chasing DW.]
Col: I’ve got your big push right here!
DW: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Suddenly there is a big explosion. Water floods into the chamber knocking everyone over. The hole is blocked the front of a submarine. Everyone gets up as the front of the submarine pops off and Sniper steps out followed by some guards who look like Hulk Hogan. Col has made it back to his corner and is continuing to be disgusting.]
Sniper: Enemies of the Alliance lay down your arms.
The Craziest Col: No. I haven’t finished!
[Two guards try to prize Col’s arms away.]
The Craziest Col: Oy!
Guard 1: Got him sir now where do you want him.
Sniper: Stick him over there. Points to where DW is standing.
DW: NOOOOOOOO!
[Col gets an evil look in his eye.]
Sniper: Cease this foolishness! You are enemies of the Alliance and shall be put to death!
Guard 2: Oh goody, time to warm up the nipple clamps.
Sniper: No! This is not Memo’s shift. Set Pfizers to kill!
[The guards aim their blue pill shaped guns at Tigamilla and Borat.]
Sniper: 3
Guards: 3
Sniper: 2
Guards: 2
Sniper: Er, 2.
Guards: 1.
Borat: No. He clearly said 2.
Guard 2: Oh ok. 2.
Sniper: Cheers. Very decent of you.
Borat: Don’t mention it.
Sniper: Ahem. (clears throat) 1.
Guards: 1.
Sniper: F-F-F…..
[The Guards tense up.]
Sniper: Flipping April fool!
[Sniper rolls around laughing his nuts off as everyone looks bemused. Borat clicks first.]
Borat: Hah! You really had me going there mate.
Sniper: Yeah! Best. April. Fool. Ever.
Tigamilla: But it’s not even apri….
Borat: (to Tigamilla out of the side of his mouth) Shut up.
Sniper: Yeah I want to help you guys.
[Sniper casually pulls out two Pfizers and shoots the guards on either side of him.]
Sniper: So what’s for lunch?
Tigamilla: Where’s Col gone?
[From the distance we hear the faint cry of DW]
DW: noooooooooo!
---------------------
[The scene changes. We are back in Goatboy’s control room. Goatboy is talking to a little hand device.]
Goatboy: Look mother I told you never to call me when I’m at work, look, jesus, just buy justins present for me ok? Look he’s only a bloody dog! No you buy it. You! You! You!
[Er-no walks in.]
Goatboy: Gotta go. (puts hand device down and picks up a cup of coffee)
Er-no: The corporate branding goes well sir.
Goatboy: Good Goatboy cola will be laughed at no more!
Er-no: However there is a slight snag.
Goatboy: What?
[Tigamilla steps through the door closely followed by Col and a dark mist with lots of red eyes in it.]
Tigamilla: You left the keys under the doormat again didn’t you?
Goatboy: Might’ve done.
Col: Awww we’ll have to start again now. I wanna control the Goatstar this time….
[Suddenly Lil Ginge bursts in followed by a large purple monster.]
Lil Ginge: See. I’ve arrived in time to save you Tiga and Col!
[All look at Goatboy’s Coffee. Purple monster smells the coffee and goes berserk]
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!.
THE END
The Craziest Col: What on earth could that be? Come Fazhizt we must investigate this truly strange sound.
[Kyz22 the rabbit in a waistcoat. Comes over the hill.]
Kyz22: Damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have set my watch by the SR clock! I’m going to be late, I mustn’t be late no, I wont get my GAD.
[Kyz22 twists a daisy which is in-fact a door knob, opens a turf covered door and disappears into the darkness beyond muttering something about a Matt Le Blanc.]
The Craziest Col: Fazhizt why didn’t you try to disembowel that rabbit? What do I feed you rabbit for?
[Fazhizt looks confused and dons a black armband, giving a little doggy salute.]
The Craziest Col: That’s better. Now I think we should follow that thing and find out what it’s up to.
[The Craziest Col and Fazhizt begin to make for the doorway when there is another terrible scream.
Lil Ginge comes running down the hill. Col sees her and slicks back his hair as Lil Ginge runs towards them.]
Lil Ginge: It’s a – a p – a p
The Craziest Col: Calm down dear! Now tell me what’s wrong
Lil Ginge: It’s a purple monster!
Col and Lil Ginge: Ahhhhhhh!
[The Craziest Col and Lil Ginge run for the doorway as faint thuds can be heard in the distance. They get in and slam the door shut.]
Col: Luckily we didn’t have any coffee of he’d have caught us and eaten us for sure.
Lil Ginge: I can’t see now!
The Craziest Col: Don’t worry.
[There is a strange clicking noise as if a dial is being turned. Fazhizt’s eyes can now be seen glowing and illuminating a large hallway lined with red scales and punctuated by outstretched roots, which have broken through. Fazhizt urinates upon a small gnome ornament, which had previously been unnoticed.]
The Craziest Col: Oh no! Out of the frying pan and into the fire!
Lil Ginge: Why? What’s it mean.
The Craziest Col: Don’t you see? It’s a sign of the Notables.
Lil Ginge: No. I thought they all died out in the great GAD war of ‘cheaters never prosper’?
The Craziest Col: No. The ancient texts claim some escaped in the great "Winners Don’t Use Drugs" machine built by the ancient bearded-snuggly-ninja’s of old! I never believed it until now.
[Suddenly the gnome’s eyes light up. Fazhizt barks at it. The gnome begins to parade around in a small pattern. The gnome begins to speak in a munchkin voice.]
Gnome: Winners don’t use drugs. Winners don’t use drugs. Winner’s don’t use drugs.
[From out of the dark a lone, shrouded figure, steps forward and stamps on the gnome breaking it into several pieces.]
Shrouded Figure: He who disturbs the Gnomes has brass monkeys of the highest order of Allistair.
The Craziest Col: Yes I’ve been growing them in my garden.
Shrouded Figure: Could it be that you are the one? The Fabled ‘brain’?
The Craziest Col: Dunno mate. We’ve got a purple monster outside so we’ve gotta go this way.
Shrouded Figure: But you cannot go! I haven’t begun your training, we need months of preparation.
The Craziest Col: Shut it mate. I’ve played Socom. I know how to handle myself.
Shrouded Figure: Oh very well. I am master Tigamilla of the order of Magical Super Newbies. But you may call me Tig.
The Craziest Col: Well what’s the situation old man? How do we get out of here? And what are Magical Super Newbies?
Tigamilla: The situation is that the Notables plan to take back all the domains of the reserve worlds. They are tired of their world of life and they aim to conquer all the forum ring planets. Even the Stronghold of Chatannus.
[Col nods as if this is nothing new.]
Tigamilla: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. The Notables are building a Goatstar to attack and bombard the domains with reason and definitions.
The Craziest Col: (Gasps) They mean to control our chaos with RULES and ORDER. This must be stopped!
Tigamilla: Indeed it must young Col.
The Craziest Col: How did you know…..
Tigamilla: Don’t ask foolish questions boy. I have seen this come to pass, the end is blurry but I feel with our Magical Super Newbies we shall be an unstoppable force with enough power to destroy the Goatstar.
The Craziest Col. So these Magical Super Newbies, they are warriors?
Tigamilla: Yes they are warriors of chaos and idiocy honed in the vats of the darkest recesses of Chatannus. The MSN’s are under my control but I will teach you how to issue them rudimentary commands. You will be able to command them to spew spam over a large area.
The Craziest Col: Cool, I can do that. Is this a weakness of the Notables?
Tigamilla: Yes, if we can bury them in enough spam then we will have them at a disadvantage.
Lil Ginge: What can I do?
Tigamila: Erm, as far as I know you just stand there and look nice (pats Ginge’s head)
[Lil Ginge wanders off muttering something about handbags.]
The Craziest Col: So How do we get out of here?
Tigamilla: I will use the MSN’s.
[Tigamilla raises his arms and mutters some minor incantation. We hear evil sounding chattering from the darkness and red eyes slowly appear dotted everywhere.]
--------------------
[The Scene changes. We are now in a grey circular and metallic room. In the middle of the room, in an over-sized chair, sits Goatboy. Er-no enters, he speaks with a voice like Kip out of Futurama.]
Er-no: Sir, I bring news from my dot com destroyer. The purple monster we dropped was unsuccessful and was evaded by the one called Col. He saved the girl too.
Goatboy: The Girl? Good, more violation for the future. Now they are of little consequence. The Goatstar progresses unhindered and we have the power of the three in check. Soon Wookie monster shall fall in line next to You, me and Lord Edgy.
Er-no: And what of Lord Pb?
Goatboy: Lord Pb is no more. We found him today, a few rogue MSN’s managed to penetrate his ships defenses and they were pinged from existence before they knew what hit them.
Er-no: And Lord Sniper?
Goatboy: Sniper is none of my concern. Let the MSN’s have him. I will not tolerate dissention in my ranks.
[A square forms out of thin air. Wookie Monster can be seen on it.]
Wookie Monster: Lord Goatboy, I bring urgent news. MSN’s have broken through our defences and are in the process of spamming the gateways! I need an immediate evac! We can still save some of the chosen.
Goatboy: Goatboy out.
Wookie Monster: But…
[The screen fades into thin air.]
Er-no: What are your orders sir?
Goatboy: Leave them to rot.
Er-no: May AOL have mercy on their souls.
Goatboy: (slams his fist on the chairs arm) AOL has nothing to do with it! Now leave!
[The scene changes. We are now in a great blue hall, which is clearly surrounded by water. In the room we see Col, Tigamilla and Borat.]
Borat: Greetings gentlemen I trust the transporters were not too uncomfortable?
Col: No
Tigamilla: Quite adequate, I never needed that earlobe anyway. Now to business, Wookie Monster’s deception has succeeded and we are on the brink of shattering Goatboys Alliance and the Goatstar.
Borat: Yes, but the MSN’s are becoming difficult to control they’re cybering one another at an alarming rate and they are unstable from the lack of fighting.
Tigamilla: Good this will make them all the more deadly when we make the final push.
Borat: We also managed to deal with Lord Pb. Some rogue MSN’s managed to get his transporters IP. However we lost one of the inspecting shuttles to the MSN’s. This troubles me greatly Tiga, those MSN’s are not hearing the incantations like they used to.
Tigamilla: PFFT. You cannot make an spam war without breaking some lines. Col has become very adept at controlling the MSN’s and I think we shall have no trouble.
Col: Where’s Fazhizt?
Borat: Fazhizt?
Tigamilla: The boys dog. I’m sure he’s around here somewhere (turns round)
[Col and Borat both gasp. We see Fazhizt’s behind (what remains) has been melded to the back of Tigamilla.]
Tigamilla: Have you a drink? I seem to be quite thirsty (pants a bit and scratches an ear)
Fazist’s glowing ability seems to emanate from Tigamillas behind.
Borat: (to Col) He always thought the sun shone out of his ass!
------------------------
[The scene changes. We see a purple cube move through space towards a planet. We hear the disembodied voice of the captain.]
Dringo: This is the starship Cubumber calling the planet Nintoe. I am on final vector and will be landing shortly. Good to be home. Over.
[There is silence.]
Dringo: Repeat. This is the Starship Cubumber am on final vector…..
[Suddenly we see a dark crescent edge out from behind the planet.]
Edgy: (also a disembodied voice) This is the Goatstar cease your approach and prepare to be boarded. This planet is under the protection of the Alliance.
Dringo: I can’t break the cycle now. It’s too late.
Edgy: Correct. It is too late.
[Something comes round the curve of the planet and approaches the purple ship.]
Missile: I am Hercules! I am invincible feel my pro fire!!
[The Hercules missile explodes into the purple ship. The purple ship is vaporized.]
Edgy: That’ll teach them to install a non-standard drive!
[The scene changes. We are back in Goatboys control room. Goatboy and Er-no enter.]
Goatboy: So I told her she obviously didn’t do enough jaw-yoga!
Er-no: Yeah. Good one.
[Goatboy and Er-no notice the reader.]
Er-no: What the f…
Goatboy: (cough)Yes, how did the invasion go?(cough) According to plan?
Er-no: Ahem. The invasion went according to plan.
[Goatboy half-runs to his seat.]
Goatboy: Ahem. Very good. Any transgressors?
Er-no: Only a intriguing hybrid ship. The likes I have never seen.
Goatboy: It was destroyed, was it not?
Er-no: Yes, in accordance with your instructions.
Goatboy: Good Nintoe is ours.
[Goatboy looks pretty peeved at Er-no. Er-no mouths ‘what’ silently at Goatboy.]
---------------------
[The scene changes. We are back at Borat’s underwater complex. A special seat has been constructed so that Tigamilla can sit down. Col is fiddling with himself in the corner and Borat is sitting in a big inflatable chair.]
Borat: So, what do you think of the throne.]
Tigamilla. Er. It’s great Lando(cough cough). Sorry, Borat. It’s truly a gem.
Borat. It floats if this place starts to leak.
[We see a servant putting plasters over cracks in the walls.]
Borat: Good work servant.
DW: Thank you master. I live to serve. We live to serve.
Borat: Yes, yes. All good. (Looks at Col) Is he doing what I think he’s doing?
[Col mumbles something about 512MB’s of filth.]
Tigamilla: Leave him be. It’ll probably plug a few cracks
DW: EWWW!!
[DW runs off, away from the cracks he was sorting out near Col.]
Borat: Well he’s disturbing the servants.
[A screen materializes out of thin air in-front of Borat. We see Maverick 42 on the screen.]
Maverick42: Sir we’ve lost Nintoe to the Alliance.
Borat: Noooooooooooooo!
[DW runs back in]
DW: Your subscription to Big Gals monthly has run out sir.
Borat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Craziest Col: Shut up! You’re putting me off my stroke.
Tigamilla: We need to move the big push forward.
[Col is now chasing DW.]
Col: I’ve got your big push right here!
DW: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Suddenly there is a big explosion. Water floods into the chamber knocking everyone over. The hole is blocked the front of a submarine. Everyone gets up as the front of the submarine pops off and Sniper steps out followed by some guards who look like Hulk Hogan. Col has made it back to his corner and is continuing to be disgusting.]
Sniper: Enemies of the Alliance lay down your arms.
The Craziest Col: No. I haven’t finished!
[Two guards try to prize Col’s arms away.]
The Craziest Col: Oy!
Guard 1: Got him sir now where do you want him.
Sniper: Stick him over there. Points to where DW is standing.
DW: NOOOOOOOO!
[Col gets an evil look in his eye.]
Sniper: Cease this foolishness! You are enemies of the Alliance and shall be put to death!
Guard 2: Oh goody, time to warm up the nipple clamps.
Sniper: No! This is not Memo’s shift. Set Pfizers to kill!
[The guards aim their blue pill shaped guns at Tigamilla and Borat.]
Sniper: 3
Guards: 3
Sniper: 2
Guards: 2
Sniper: Er, 2.
Guards: 1.
Borat: No. He clearly said 2.
Guard 2: Oh ok. 2.
Sniper: Cheers. Very decent of you.
Borat: Don’t mention it.
Sniper: Ahem. (clears throat) 1.
Guards: 1.
Sniper: F-F-F…..
[The Guards tense up.]
Sniper: Flipping April fool!
[Sniper rolls around laughing his nuts off as everyone looks bemused. Borat clicks first.]
Borat: Hah! You really had me going there mate.
Sniper: Yeah! Best. April. Fool. Ever.
Tigamilla: But it’s not even apri….
Borat: (to Tigamilla out of the side of his mouth) Shut up.
Sniper: Yeah I want to help you guys.
[Sniper casually pulls out two Pfizers and shoots the guards on either side of him.]
Sniper: So what’s for lunch?
Tigamilla: Where’s Col gone?
[From the distance we hear the faint cry of DW]
DW: noooooooooo!
---------------------
[The scene changes. We are back in Goatboy’s control room. Goatboy is talking to a little hand device.]
Goatboy: Look mother I told you never to call me when I’m at work, look, jesus, just buy justins present for me ok? Look he’s only a bloody dog! No you buy it. You! You! You!
[Er-no walks in.]
Goatboy: Gotta go. (puts hand device down and picks up a cup of coffee)
Er-no: The corporate branding goes well sir.
Goatboy: Good Goatboy cola will be laughed at no more!
Er-no: However there is a slight snag.
Goatboy: What?
[Tigamilla steps through the door closely followed by Col and a dark mist with lots of red eyes in it.]
Tigamilla: You left the keys under the doormat again didn’t you?
Goatboy: Might’ve done.
Col: Awww we’ll have to start again now. I wanna control the Goatstar this time….
[Suddenly Lil Ginge bursts in followed by a large purple monster.]
Lil Ginge: See. I’ve arrived in time to save you Tiga and Col!
[All look at Goatboy’s Coffee. Purple monster smells the coffee and goes berserk]
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!.
THE END
Page:
POP simply because I think this should be read side splitting stuff (also because Im in it OBVIUOSLY)
POP for Triple H. :P
Yay thats some seriously funny stuff!!Long live the "Cubumber"!!!!with non-standard drive!! LOL!!
Cool, spamming rules!!!
Cool, spamming rules!!!
I'll give this another pop for tig as I think his scroll button may not be working.
POP for Tig
Anyway, goign to get setting of for the college Pre enrolment day.
Whoopety doo, a 30 min bike ride, ain't I lucky.
Whoopety doo, a 30 min bike ride, ain't I lucky.
Just another thing, I shouldpoint out:
[Col mumbles something about 512MB’s of filth.]
It's more like 681.
[Col mumbles something about 512MB’s of filth.]
It's more like 681.
DW wrote:
> YAYAYYA
>
> MY NAME WOZ IN IT! MY NAME, LOOK!
>
> Great spoof...cos I was in it.
I think that was from the prosepective of me.
Anyway, a little hint I thought, when you was wrtign in Star wars theme (Yoda) near the begining, you should of used my real name Colin and not Col.
Just think it would gave more atmosphere in a way.
> YAYAYYA
>
> MY NAME WOZ IN IT! MY NAME, LOOK!
>
> Great spoof...cos I was in it.
I think that was from the prosepective of me.
Anyway, a little hint I thought, when you was wrtign in Star wars theme (Yoda) near the begining, you should of used my real name Colin and not Col.
Just think it would gave more atmosphere in a way.
YAYAYYA
MY NAME WOZ IN IT! MY NAME, LOOK!
Great spoof...cos I was in it.
MY NAME WOZ IN IT! MY NAME, LOOK!
Great spoof...cos I was in it.
seks wit spontecks
Page: