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Car Parking
THE smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 63ft 2ins, equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs
Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on October 12, 1993.
She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.
Film Confusion
THE greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on October 28 1990, when Mrs Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch The Ipcress File.
She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2mins 40secs before asking, 'Is he a goodie or a baddie, then, him in the glasses?', revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2mins 38secs of 633 Squadron before asking 'Is this a war
film?'
Incorrect Driving
THE longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 313
miles from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr Julie Thorn at the wheel of a Saab
900 on April 2, 1987. Dr Thorn actually smelled burning two miles into
her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from
the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
Shop Dithering
THE longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between August 21 and September 2 1995 by Mrs Sandra Wilks in the Birmingham branch of Dorothy Perkins. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both
in the sale. After one hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changing room with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs Wilks eventually bought one for 12.99, only to return the next day and exchange it for the other one.
To
date, she has yet to wear it. Mrs Wilks also holds the record for window
shopping longevity, when, starting September 12 1995, she stood motionless gazing at a pair of shoes in Clinkard's window in Kidderminster for three weeks two days before eventually going home.
Jumble Sale Massacre
THE greatest number of old ladies to perish while fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February 12 1991. When the doors opened at 10am, the initial scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the
first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p which escalated into a full scale melee resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised 5.28 for the local Boy Scouts.
Talking About Nothing
MRS Mary Caterham and Mrs Marjorie Steele sat in a kitchen in Blackburn, Lancashire, and talked about nothing whatsoever for four
and a half months from May 1 to August 7 1978, pausing only for coffee, cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs Vera Etherington and her neighbour Mrs Dolly Booth, of Ipswich, who between November 11 1983 and January 12 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unenlightening dialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.
Gossiping
ON February 18 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banbury, popped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which she
told Mrs Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having an affair with the butcher. After Mrs Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs Banbury immediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm, she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it had risen to 372 and by 4pm that afternoon, 2,774 knew of the affair, - including the local amateur dramatic society, several knitting circles, a coachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butcher's wife. When a tired Mrs Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that night, Mrs Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people, enough to fill Wembley Stadium.
Group Toilet Visit
THE record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle
upon Tyne on October 12 1994, Mrs Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass, the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.
THE smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 63ft 2ins, equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs
Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on October 12, 1993.
She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.
Film Confusion
THE greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on October 28 1990, when Mrs Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch The Ipcress File.
She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2mins 40secs before asking, 'Is he a goodie or a baddie, then, him in the glasses?', revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2mins 38secs of 633 Squadron before asking 'Is this a war
film?'
Incorrect Driving
THE longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 313
miles from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr Julie Thorn at the wheel of a Saab
900 on April 2, 1987. Dr Thorn actually smelled burning two miles into
her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from
the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
Shop Dithering
THE longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between August 21 and September 2 1995 by Mrs Sandra Wilks in the Birmingham branch of Dorothy Perkins. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both
in the sale. After one hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changing room with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs Wilks eventually bought one for 12.99, only to return the next day and exchange it for the other one.
To
date, she has yet to wear it. Mrs Wilks also holds the record for window
shopping longevity, when, starting September 12 1995, she stood motionless gazing at a pair of shoes in Clinkard's window in Kidderminster for three weeks two days before eventually going home.
Jumble Sale Massacre
THE greatest number of old ladies to perish while fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February 12 1991. When the doors opened at 10am, the initial scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the
first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p which escalated into a full scale melee resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised 5.28 for the local Boy Scouts.
Talking About Nothing
MRS Mary Caterham and Mrs Marjorie Steele sat in a kitchen in Blackburn, Lancashire, and talked about nothing whatsoever for four
and a half months from May 1 to August 7 1978, pausing only for coffee, cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs Vera Etherington and her neighbour Mrs Dolly Booth, of Ipswich, who between November 11 1983 and January 12 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unenlightening dialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.
Gossiping
ON February 18 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banbury, popped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which she
told Mrs Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having an affair with the butcher. After Mrs Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs Banbury immediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm, she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it had risen to 372 and by 4pm that afternoon, 2,774 knew of the affair, - including the local amateur dramatic society, several knitting circles, a coachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butcher's wife. When a tired Mrs Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that night, Mrs Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people, enough to fill Wembley Stadium.
Group Toilet Visit
THE record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle
upon Tyne on October 12 1994, Mrs Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass, the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.
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heheheh
But in most cases I have advantage of being able to walk away telling them that well meet up later eg mum, sister, aunty, friend but when its the girlfriend you have to maintain an air of being interested whilst trying not to eye out the shop girls in their uniforms and high heels.Leaving is not an option :(
We all know a dress one. Its 90% of women.
The dress one sounds like someone I know *knew
LOL!!!
Not to mention a general advantage in life in terms of persuasion.
Lil Ginge wrote:
> safety in numbers....
>
> And since I watched the sketch show the other week and saw a hilarious
> sketch with men by their urinals I yet to wonder what goes on!
>
> I have no defence here do I
You still get cheaper insurance.
> safety in numbers....
>
> And since I watched the sketch show the other week and saw a hilarious
> sketch with men by their urinals I yet to wonder what goes on!
>
> I have no defence here do I
You still get cheaper insurance.
I've driven a mile or so with the handbrake on before...
I still don't know when I put it on though. I took it off when I left.
I still don't know when I put it on though. I took it off when I left.
safety in numbers....
And since I watched the sketch show the other week and saw a hilarious sketch with men by their urinals I yet to wonder what goes on!
I have no defence here do I
And since I watched the sketch show the other week and saw a hilarious sketch with men by their urinals I yet to wonder what goes on!
I have no defence here do I
:-D
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