The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
This was emailed to me by a mate.
Sexist and crude, but funny
- - -
The Kate Winslet Nude Scene Extravaganza
Yesterday I was at work, and, during an unusually long gap between rednecks asking me if we had any Tobasco sauce to go on the manicotti de formaggio, tried to figure out who the best actress on Earth was. At first I went with the obvious choice - Julia Roberts. She's like Gumby. If you have a heart, then you love her. Then I thought about how I don't actually HAVE a heart and would like to punch her in her mouth. During the Oscar acceptance speech I wondered how many of the academy members she could cram into the tooth-riddled hole. God knows she must have at least twenty-thousand teeth in there. She's like a whale.
Others sprang to mind - I could choose Gwenyth Paltrow, who was nominated (along with her 1/2 inch spine and jagged hip bones) for an Oscar for looking a lot like a man. I could choose Hilary Swank, who won a Best Actress Oscar for looking even more like a man, or even Helen Hunt, for her progressive portrayal of emotionally unstable white trash. Suddenly I began questioning my own sexuality. Do I really want to support an industry full of she-males? No! I want to run through fountains of breasts and dance through a vaginariffic field of female sensuality.
Winslet is a very accomplished British actress. Just about every film she's starred in has made "Titanic," the blockbuster of the 20th century, look like child's play. Kate has gained and lost weight for roles. She has portrayed little sisters, mad women, under-appreciated Americans, and hippie mothers...but through it all she's given us one static element of performance - one meteoric constant that rises about Academy Award mediocrity and comes crashing down into our crotches like a divine ball of fire from heaven.
She gets naked. A lot. A whole lot.
Kate has been...
NAKED WITH GEORGE W.
The easiest film on the entire Internet to find naked vidcaps of has to be "Jude." They're on every page on the net, right there between those pics of Tiffany-Amber Theissen in the mesh top. Jude is one of the saddest and most depressing movies of all time, both because of it's message that antisocial desire is inherently self-destructive, and because of a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NASTY child birth scene.
It's unfortunate, because the childbirth overshadows the first appearance of one of Kate's signatures - full frontal nudity. Kate appears with bush more often than Barbara. I guess the best way to confront a media that accuses a 125 pound woman as being "fat" is to whip off your pants and thrust your hairy crotch into their face. Since Jude Kate's been nominated for two Oscars. Must've worked.
NAKED WITH A GREAT DANE
In the Kenneth Branagh 89 thousand hour theatrical release of William Shakespeare's "Hamlet," Kate plays Ophelia and gets naked about 2 1/2 seconds into the movie. Why do Shakespeare movies always feature the most boobs? The guy wrote about fairies and guys with donkey heads for Christ's sakes. He didn't write "Bikini Car Wash."
NAKED WITH CHILDREN
Hideous Kinky is the story of two sisters (seven and five years old) traveling with their hippie mother from London to Morocco in the late 60's. They encounter many adventures, new experiences, and interesting culture as tag along on their mother's search for freedom and love. It is told through the eyes of the youngest girl, and we learn her observations on life, Mum, and determined sister, Bea. Somehow, Mum gets naked and starts having sex with a pubeheaded guido while the kids watch.
This walks that fine line between "the cops arrested my dentist for having naked pictures of kids in his office" and being completely boneriffic.
Hideous Kinky also features Kate...
NAKED WHILE EATING
Those creepy late-night HBO specials have told me many times (often up to 800 times a week) that food goes great with sex. I'm not sure if I agree. Sure, I wouldn't mind some whipped cream and cherries every now and then, but if some girl whips out a Double Cheeseburger and squishes it into my butt I'm drop-kicking her into a trashcan and throwing her into the sun.
NAKED WITH SOMEBODY WHO WAS IN MONKEY TROUBLE
Watch as Kate Winslet expresses the troubled mind of an impressionable girl by spending 1/4th of this movie with her pubic hair exposed. Watch as Harvey Keitel takes a break from playing a gypsy with a trouble causing monkey to dress up like a woman and have sex with Kate.
The combined onscreen nude time of Harvey Keitel and Kate Winslet is still being calculated by NASA computers. Look for Winslet to star in "Oh My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again" while Keitel follows up with "I Have a Desire to See My Member on a Giant Screen."
I bet his monkey is furious.
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH" everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads. Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.
Sexist and crude, but funny
- - -
The Kate Winslet Nude Scene Extravaganza
Yesterday I was at work, and, during an unusually long gap between rednecks asking me if we had any Tobasco sauce to go on the manicotti de formaggio, tried to figure out who the best actress on Earth was. At first I went with the obvious choice - Julia Roberts. She's like Gumby. If you have a heart, then you love her. Then I thought about how I don't actually HAVE a heart and would like to punch her in her mouth. During the Oscar acceptance speech I wondered how many of the academy members she could cram into the tooth-riddled hole. God knows she must have at least twenty-thousand teeth in there. She's like a whale.
Others sprang to mind - I could choose Gwenyth Paltrow, who was nominated (along with her 1/2 inch spine and jagged hip bones) for an Oscar for looking a lot like a man. I could choose Hilary Swank, who won a Best Actress Oscar for looking even more like a man, or even Helen Hunt, for her progressive portrayal of emotionally unstable white trash. Suddenly I began questioning my own sexuality. Do I really want to support an industry full of she-males? No! I want to run through fountains of breasts and dance through a vaginariffic field of female sensuality.
Winslet is a very accomplished British actress. Just about every film she's starred in has made "Titanic," the blockbuster of the 20th century, look like child's play. Kate has gained and lost weight for roles. She has portrayed little sisters, mad women, under-appreciated Americans, and hippie mothers...but through it all she's given us one static element of performance - one meteoric constant that rises about Academy Award mediocrity and comes crashing down into our crotches like a divine ball of fire from heaven.
She gets naked. A lot. A whole lot.
Kate has been...
NAKED WITH GEORGE W.
The easiest film on the entire Internet to find naked vidcaps of has to be "Jude." They're on every page on the net, right there between those pics of Tiffany-Amber Theissen in the mesh top. Jude is one of the saddest and most depressing movies of all time, both because of it's message that antisocial desire is inherently self-destructive, and because of a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NASTY child birth scene.
It's unfortunate, because the childbirth overshadows the first appearance of one of Kate's signatures - full frontal nudity. Kate appears with bush more often than Barbara. I guess the best way to confront a media that accuses a 125 pound woman as being "fat" is to whip off your pants and thrust your hairy crotch into their face. Since Jude Kate's been nominated for two Oscars. Must've worked.
NAKED WITH A GREAT DANE
In the Kenneth Branagh 89 thousand hour theatrical release of William Shakespeare's "Hamlet," Kate plays Ophelia and gets naked about 2 1/2 seconds into the movie. Why do Shakespeare movies always feature the most boobs? The guy wrote about fairies and guys with donkey heads for Christ's sakes. He didn't write "Bikini Car Wash."
NAKED WITH CHILDREN
Hideous Kinky is the story of two sisters (seven and five years old) traveling with their hippie mother from London to Morocco in the late 60's. They encounter many adventures, new experiences, and interesting culture as tag along on their mother's search for freedom and love. It is told through the eyes of the youngest girl, and we learn her observations on life, Mum, and determined sister, Bea. Somehow, Mum gets naked and starts having sex with a pubeheaded guido while the kids watch.
This walks that fine line between "the cops arrested my dentist for having naked pictures of kids in his office" and being completely boneriffic.
Hideous Kinky also features Kate...
NAKED WHILE EATING
Those creepy late-night HBO specials have told me many times (often up to 800 times a week) that food goes great with sex. I'm not sure if I agree. Sure, I wouldn't mind some whipped cream and cherries every now and then, but if some girl whips out a Double Cheeseburger and squishes it into my butt I'm drop-kicking her into a trashcan and throwing her into the sun.
NAKED WITH SOMEBODY WHO WAS IN MONKEY TROUBLE
Watch as Kate Winslet expresses the troubled mind of an impressionable girl by spending 1/4th of this movie with her pubic hair exposed. Watch as Harvey Keitel takes a break from playing a gypsy with a trouble causing monkey to dress up like a woman and have sex with Kate.
The combined onscreen nude time of Harvey Keitel and Kate Winslet is still being calculated by NASA computers. Look for Winslet to star in "Oh My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again" while Keitel follows up with "I Have a Desire to See My Member on a Giant Screen."
I bet his monkey is furious.
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH" everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads. Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.
SHEEPY wrote:
> :)
Good Read.
yeh i have to agree with Sheepy
> :)
Good Read.
yeh i have to agree with Sheepy
Goatboy wrote:
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved
> this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two
> rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH"
> everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to
> movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads.
> Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They
> just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.
:)
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved
> this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two
> rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH"
> everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to
> movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads.
> Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They
> just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.
:)
:)
Good Read.
Good Read.
This was emailed to me by a mate.
Sexist and crude, but funny
- - -
The Kate Winslet Nude Scene Extravaganza
Yesterday I was at work, and, during an unusually long gap between rednecks asking me if we had any Tobasco sauce to go on the manicotti de formaggio, tried to figure out who the best actress on Earth was. At first I went with the obvious choice - Julia Roberts. She's like Gumby. If you have a heart, then you love her. Then I thought about how I don't actually HAVE a heart and would like to punch her in her mouth. During the Oscar acceptance speech I wondered how many of the academy members she could cram into the tooth-riddled hole. God knows she must have at least twenty-thousand teeth in there. She's like a whale.
Others sprang to mind - I could choose Gwenyth Paltrow, who was nominated (along with her 1/2 inch spine and jagged hip bones) for an Oscar for looking a lot like a man. I could choose Hilary Swank, who won a Best Actress Oscar for looking even more like a man, or even Helen Hunt, for her progressive portrayal of emotionally unstable white trash. Suddenly I began questioning my own sexuality. Do I really want to support an industry full of she-males? No! I want to run through fountains of breasts and dance through a vaginariffic field of female sensuality.
Winslet is a very accomplished British actress. Just about every film she's starred in has made "Titanic," the blockbuster of the 20th century, look like child's play. Kate has gained and lost weight for roles. She has portrayed little sisters, mad women, under-appreciated Americans, and hippie mothers...but through it all she's given us one static element of performance - one meteoric constant that rises about Academy Award mediocrity and comes crashing down into our crotches like a divine ball of fire from heaven.
She gets naked. A lot. A whole lot.
Kate has been...
NAKED WITH GEORGE W.
The easiest film on the entire Internet to find naked vidcaps of has to be "Jude." They're on every page on the net, right there between those pics of Tiffany-Amber Theissen in the mesh top. Jude is one of the saddest and most depressing movies of all time, both because of it's message that antisocial desire is inherently self-destructive, and because of a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NASTY child birth scene.
It's unfortunate, because the childbirth overshadows the first appearance of one of Kate's signatures - full frontal nudity. Kate appears with bush more often than Barbara. I guess the best way to confront a media that accuses a 125 pound woman as being "fat" is to whip off your pants and thrust your hairy crotch into their face. Since Jude Kate's been nominated for two Oscars. Must've worked.
NAKED WITH A GREAT DANE
In the Kenneth Branagh 89 thousand hour theatrical release of William Shakespeare's "Hamlet," Kate plays Ophelia and gets naked about 2 1/2 seconds into the movie. Why do Shakespeare movies always feature the most boobs? The guy wrote about fairies and guys with donkey heads for Christ's sakes. He didn't write "Bikini Car Wash."
NAKED WITH CHILDREN
Hideous Kinky is the story of two sisters (seven and five years old) traveling with their hippie mother from London to Morocco in the late 60's. They encounter many adventures, new experiences, and interesting culture as tag along on their mother's search for freedom and love. It is told through the eyes of the youngest girl, and we learn her observations on life, Mum, and determined sister, Bea. Somehow, Mum gets naked and starts having sex with a pubeheaded guido while the kids watch.
This walks that fine line between "the cops arrested my dentist for having naked pictures of kids in his office" and being completely boneriffic.
Hideous Kinky also features Kate...
NAKED WHILE EATING
Those creepy late-night HBO specials have told me many times (often up to 800 times a week) that food goes great with sex. I'm not sure if I agree. Sure, I wouldn't mind some whipped cream and cherries every now and then, but if some girl whips out a Double Cheeseburger and squishes it into my butt I'm drop-kicking her into a trashcan and throwing her into the sun.
NAKED WITH SOMEBODY WHO WAS IN MONKEY TROUBLE
Watch as Kate Winslet expresses the troubled mind of an impressionable girl by spending 1/4th of this movie with her pubic hair exposed. Watch as Harvey Keitel takes a break from playing a gypsy with a trouble causing monkey to dress up like a woman and have sex with Kate.
The combined onscreen nude time of Harvey Keitel and Kate Winslet is still being calculated by NASA computers. Look for Winslet to star in "Oh My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again" while Keitel follows up with "I Have a Desire to See My Member on a Giant Screen."
I bet his monkey is furious.
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH" everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads. Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.
Sexist and crude, but funny
- - -
The Kate Winslet Nude Scene Extravaganza
Yesterday I was at work, and, during an unusually long gap between rednecks asking me if we had any Tobasco sauce to go on the manicotti de formaggio, tried to figure out who the best actress on Earth was. At first I went with the obvious choice - Julia Roberts. She's like Gumby. If you have a heart, then you love her. Then I thought about how I don't actually HAVE a heart and would like to punch her in her mouth. During the Oscar acceptance speech I wondered how many of the academy members she could cram into the tooth-riddled hole. God knows she must have at least twenty-thousand teeth in there. She's like a whale.
Others sprang to mind - I could choose Gwenyth Paltrow, who was nominated (along with her 1/2 inch spine and jagged hip bones) for an Oscar for looking a lot like a man. I could choose Hilary Swank, who won a Best Actress Oscar for looking even more like a man, or even Helen Hunt, for her progressive portrayal of emotionally unstable white trash. Suddenly I began questioning my own sexuality. Do I really want to support an industry full of she-males? No! I want to run through fountains of breasts and dance through a vaginariffic field of female sensuality.
Winslet is a very accomplished British actress. Just about every film she's starred in has made "Titanic," the blockbuster of the 20th century, look like child's play. Kate has gained and lost weight for roles. She has portrayed little sisters, mad women, under-appreciated Americans, and hippie mothers...but through it all she's given us one static element of performance - one meteoric constant that rises about Academy Award mediocrity and comes crashing down into our crotches like a divine ball of fire from heaven.
She gets naked. A lot. A whole lot.
Kate has been...
NAKED WITH GEORGE W.
The easiest film on the entire Internet to find naked vidcaps of has to be "Jude." They're on every page on the net, right there between those pics of Tiffany-Amber Theissen in the mesh top. Jude is one of the saddest and most depressing movies of all time, both because of it's message that antisocial desire is inherently self-destructive, and because of a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NASTY child birth scene.
It's unfortunate, because the childbirth overshadows the first appearance of one of Kate's signatures - full frontal nudity. Kate appears with bush more often than Barbara. I guess the best way to confront a media that accuses a 125 pound woman as being "fat" is to whip off your pants and thrust your hairy crotch into their face. Since Jude Kate's been nominated for two Oscars. Must've worked.
NAKED WITH A GREAT DANE
In the Kenneth Branagh 89 thousand hour theatrical release of William Shakespeare's "Hamlet," Kate plays Ophelia and gets naked about 2 1/2 seconds into the movie. Why do Shakespeare movies always feature the most boobs? The guy wrote about fairies and guys with donkey heads for Christ's sakes. He didn't write "Bikini Car Wash."
NAKED WITH CHILDREN
Hideous Kinky is the story of two sisters (seven and five years old) traveling with their hippie mother from London to Morocco in the late 60's. They encounter many adventures, new experiences, and interesting culture as tag along on their mother's search for freedom and love. It is told through the eyes of the youngest girl, and we learn her observations on life, Mum, and determined sister, Bea. Somehow, Mum gets naked and starts having sex with a pubeheaded guido while the kids watch.
This walks that fine line between "the cops arrested my dentist for having naked pictures of kids in his office" and being completely boneriffic.
Hideous Kinky also features Kate...
NAKED WHILE EATING
Those creepy late-night HBO specials have told me many times (often up to 800 times a week) that food goes great with sex. I'm not sure if I agree. Sure, I wouldn't mind some whipped cream and cherries every now and then, but if some girl whips out a Double Cheeseburger and squishes it into my butt I'm drop-kicking her into a trashcan and throwing her into the sun.
NAKED WITH SOMEBODY WHO WAS IN MONKEY TROUBLE
Watch as Kate Winslet expresses the troubled mind of an impressionable girl by spending 1/4th of this movie with her pubic hair exposed. Watch as Harvey Keitel takes a break from playing a gypsy with a trouble causing monkey to dress up like a woman and have sex with Kate.
The combined onscreen nude time of Harvey Keitel and Kate Winslet is still being calculated by NASA computers. Look for Winslet to star in "Oh My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again" while Keitel follows up with "I Have a Desire to See My Member on a Giant Screen."
I bet his monkey is furious.
NAKED AS A DEAD PERSON
Quills:
I loved this movie, but when I went to see it there was some chode-smoker sitting two rows behind me that kept going "SWEET" and "OH MAN YEAH" everytime somebody got killed and/or naked.
People like this should stick to movies about SWAT teams fighting dinosaurs and monsters with pumpkin heads. Religious debates don't translate well with the Transformer generation. They just want to see cars turn into robots. Bunch of savages.