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This got sent to me in an email..
Funnyish.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out
to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to! death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Someth ing I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
! (Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
(now send this to blah blah blah blah and blah more and you'll recieve a blah blah)
---------
I wanna be a pig too.
Funnyish.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out
to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to! death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Someth ing I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
! (Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
(now send this to blah blah blah blah and blah more and you'll recieve a blah blah)
---------
I wanna be a pig too.
Page:
Yer i got sent this a few months back, i never bothered to read the whole thing though...
Lil Ginge wrote:
> can cut, slice, stab and punch with both hands
Very useful for making food.
Now, get back in the kitchen and bake me some cake.
> can cut, slice, stab and punch with both hands
Very useful for making food.
Now, get back in the kitchen and bake me some cake.
The launch aid systems they employ on Aircraft Carriers (presumably US) are capable of catapulting a bus over two miles.
I'd like to see that.
I'd like to see that.
Nice one Ms NY... made me chuckle!
Im ampidextrus
Can write with both hands (choose left its better)
Can play pool badly with both hands
can cut, slice, stab and punch with both hands
o and among other things...
Can write with both hands (choose left its better)
Can play pool badly with both hands
can cut, slice, stab and punch with both hands
o and among other things...
By far the best -
A FEMALE news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob,
were's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
I nearly písséd myself when I read that... Not because it was funny, because I have bowel problems.
Craaaaaaaig David
A FEMALE news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob,
were's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
I nearly písséd myself when I read that... Not because it was funny, because I have bowel problems.
Craaaaaaaig David
Freaks.
WOW, ANT, WERE LIKE SOOOOO THE SAME!
I'm a leftie too - whooo.
phi11ip wrote:
> The comments after are the best bits...
-----
Only thing I do with left hand is write/draw. Does that make me left handed?
If so, yay me.
> The comments after are the best bits...
-----
Only thing I do with left hand is write/draw. Does that make me left handed?
If so, yay me.
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