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This is from an anti-radiohead websites.
The Diary of Thom Yorke, there's loads of entires, but these made me laugh the most:
----
Well today I started this diary, one which I'll start to call Kitty, just like my car. Oh god, haunted attic.
Dear Kitty,
Got my presents from the Tibetans, same stuff as last year. Do they not know that I never wear orange? All the same though I suppose I should be more charitable, it's just that they never shut up complaining all the time. Seriously, I'm thinking of pulling out of this years Freedom Concert if they don't stop going on and on. I've started my new workout routine and hope to keep it going this time. Nothing like being buff for the Summer, especially with 'I wanna Sexx you up (Feat. Puff Daddy)' on the new album. The damn dance routine in that video looks like a beech....
Dear Kitty,
So, new years eve. I've got it all planned out I'm going to drink this entire bottle of Tequila and try and burp the national anthem and see if they record and release it as a single. I looked on the net this afternoon and found a serious number of web sites devoted to my little band. Buncha losers!
Dear Kitty,
Oh Christ, haunted attic. I'm still hungover. Managed to get the entire of the Christina Aguilera's back catalogue on Napster. That's one hot chick, and with that set of lungs? Woooooeeee! The bald guy is still hanging around the recording sessions, yesterday Jonny asked him point blank who the hell he was and what did he want! I couldn't believe it, the guy said his name was Phil and he wanted "in on the band".
Dear Kitty,
YES! "Eye of the tiger it's got me in it's sights and I'm something something something If i diiiie for! Cause, Eye of the tiger and a blah blah blah blah". Sorry, I love that song. I played it this morning during my workout and it's been stuck in my head since. I even high fived the Bald guy when I saw him earlier! I think he was pretty surprised. I might add Eye of the Tiger as a bonus track after the other bonus track on Amnesiac.
Dear Kitty,
Ed invented a new game today while we were in the studio. He called it "Red Face" and you have to make your face go as red as you can in a minute. Ed's face went really red. The Bald guy was doing it too and it looked really weird cause all his head was going red.
Dear Kitty,
A big day. Lots of stuff happened. We were in the studio from early and Colin got in a fight with the Bald guy. I'm not sure what happened but the next thing I saw was Colin taking a swing at something behind him. The Bald guy was just standing there holding his tambourine up to protect himself. Before anyone could say anything Colin had hit him with a bass guitar!! Right on the head! The Bald guy just ran from the room crying and Colin started shouting stuff after him. Apparently the guy had tried to sneak in behind the drum kit and kept putting Colin off every time he moved closer. I swear, if the Bald guy ever tries to take over my position in the band, he'll get a knuckle sandwich!
Dear Kitty,
I'm almost sure I have grumble lumps now. I can see two things growing on my left hand, I tried to bite them off last night but I couldn't get them with me teeth. Even more cows were killed today, they all lined up and were shot which is pretty sad.
Well, today tomorrow and the next day are going to be pretty quiet days Kitty cause our manager went nuts today and told us that we have to have Amnesiac finished by the end of the week! Can you believe that? Jonny said that there was no way we could do,he said that the "artistic integrity of the songs would be sacrificed for the speed of production"...whatever that means. I think it means he's lazy. Anyway, when he said that our manager just said: "Listen, who gives a sheet about the artistic integrity? We've got units to shift, we've got deadlines to meet and we've got the music press to think of. There's only so much Kid A that they can take!". Jonny shut up then but Ed let a really loud fart and everyone laughed. It's going to be hard work, there's loads of stupid songs to finish
Dear Kitty,
Kitty! You're not going to believe this, the Bald guy is in the band!!! I know it sounds stupid but today while we were all trying to finish one of the songs (Hunting spinned plates or something) he walked into the studio and sat down behind the drum kit and started playing! Ed was going to kick him out and Col was going nuts but our manager just kept saying "WAIT!" everytime we complained.The weird thing is he's not bad, although his head looks really weird when you can't see the rest of his body. He kept smiling all the time as well which really put me off.
Dear Kitty,
Our manager was going nuts today cause we had a listening session for some people who we invited to hear Amnesiac. Booooring! Everyone just sat around and nodded at the songs and tapped their feet. I kept apologising for the song titles and blaming Ed until my manager hit me in the back of my head with a spoon! It really hurt!
Anyway, I think they all liked it cause people were coming up to me all evening saying that they were so glad that I hadn't bowed to expectation, whatever that means. I just told them that Puff Daddy was axed from the album so I stopped caring about it. They all laughed when I said this and started going on about how much of a 'genius' I was, and how 'gifted' I was. I wish Clare could've been there cause having all those people say those things about me would have impressed her a lot I think. The Bald guy got really drunk and started banging plates together and shouting :"I play with sandwiches! I play with sandwiches!" really loudly. Our manager told Ed to get rid of him and to keep him locked up from now on whenever other people were around. I didn't see where they took him but I found some broken plates in the corridor later.
Kitty,
What a boring day. Got more letters from people who hate me or hate Amnesiac. My hands hurts from writing replies. I'll copy one of the letters in here and then my reply.
Dear Thom,
You suck. Amnesiac sucks. Kid A sucked. When will you start making good music again and stop talking crap all day? If you don't I'm going to kill you and the whole band.
Signed: A real fan.
Dear A real fan,
did you know I have been working out and could probably kick you in the ear really hard? Did you know that on the second song on Amnesiac there's the sound of me dancing? Did you know I had a girlfriend and there is probably plenty of other girls interested in me? I bet you didn't know any of that! So, if you write another letter you better get worried, cause the next person to call on you might be me and I'll kick you in the ear.
Signed: Thom.
What do you think Kitty? I think it really shows him who's boss. The only envelopes I had were the perfumed ones with hearts on them that mom gave me, I hope he doesn't smell it before he opens it.
Hi Kitty,
I saw an REM song on the TV today and it reminded me of Michael Stipe. He looks weird, kind of like this ghost I saw once. I hope he has forgotten all about that thing with Bono and the patio. I haven't heard from Bono lately, I think his wife had another baby or something. I hope she has cause then it'll keep him busy and he might use the new patio.
Found a great new way to dry myself after having a shower. I used to use a towel but then you always have a wet towel afterwards. This morning I just ran out of the shower and skidded up and down the hall in my house. It dries out your feet really quickly and warms you up. I told Mom and she said that as long as I'm having fun it's ok but I should be careful. I'm going to have to think of a cool name for this.
Oh God Kitty,
Today they're giving that stupid song about knives to Radio 1. That means people are going to be listening to me and thinking I was being serious. The version of that song that we finally recored was me just making up lyrics and moaning and stuff. I was really tired and pretty unhappy that day cause they'd confirmed that neither Puff Daddy or Christina Aguilera were going to guest on the album. So I just made up some lyrics and moaned them into the microphone. The funny thing is that everyone seemed really happy except for the Bald guy. He just kept staring at me and hitting the cymbals really hard. I was really scared until Ed walked in front of him and I couldn't see him anymore so that was ok.
I hope people think the song is good, maybe they won't listen to the lyrics
The Diary of Thom Yorke, there's loads of entires, but these made me laugh the most:
----
Well today I started this diary, one which I'll start to call Kitty, just like my car. Oh god, haunted attic.
Dear Kitty,
Got my presents from the Tibetans, same stuff as last year. Do they not know that I never wear orange? All the same though I suppose I should be more charitable, it's just that they never shut up complaining all the time. Seriously, I'm thinking of pulling out of this years Freedom Concert if they don't stop going on and on. I've started my new workout routine and hope to keep it going this time. Nothing like being buff for the Summer, especially with 'I wanna Sexx you up (Feat. Puff Daddy)' on the new album. The damn dance routine in that video looks like a beech....
Dear Kitty,
So, new years eve. I've got it all planned out I'm going to drink this entire bottle of Tequila and try and burp the national anthem and see if they record and release it as a single. I looked on the net this afternoon and found a serious number of web sites devoted to my little band. Buncha losers!
Dear Kitty,
Oh Christ, haunted attic. I'm still hungover. Managed to get the entire of the Christina Aguilera's back catalogue on Napster. That's one hot chick, and with that set of lungs? Woooooeeee! The bald guy is still hanging around the recording sessions, yesterday Jonny asked him point blank who the hell he was and what did he want! I couldn't believe it, the guy said his name was Phil and he wanted "in on the band".
Dear Kitty,
YES! "Eye of the tiger it's got me in it's sights and I'm something something something If i diiiie for! Cause, Eye of the tiger and a blah blah blah blah". Sorry, I love that song. I played it this morning during my workout and it's been stuck in my head since. I even high fived the Bald guy when I saw him earlier! I think he was pretty surprised. I might add Eye of the Tiger as a bonus track after the other bonus track on Amnesiac.
Dear Kitty,
Ed invented a new game today while we were in the studio. He called it "Red Face" and you have to make your face go as red as you can in a minute. Ed's face went really red. The Bald guy was doing it too and it looked really weird cause all his head was going red.
Dear Kitty,
A big day. Lots of stuff happened. We were in the studio from early and Colin got in a fight with the Bald guy. I'm not sure what happened but the next thing I saw was Colin taking a swing at something behind him. The Bald guy was just standing there holding his tambourine up to protect himself. Before anyone could say anything Colin had hit him with a bass guitar!! Right on the head! The Bald guy just ran from the room crying and Colin started shouting stuff after him. Apparently the guy had tried to sneak in behind the drum kit and kept putting Colin off every time he moved closer. I swear, if the Bald guy ever tries to take over my position in the band, he'll get a knuckle sandwich!
Dear Kitty,
I'm almost sure I have grumble lumps now. I can see two things growing on my left hand, I tried to bite them off last night but I couldn't get them with me teeth. Even more cows were killed today, they all lined up and were shot which is pretty sad.
Well, today tomorrow and the next day are going to be pretty quiet days Kitty cause our manager went nuts today and told us that we have to have Amnesiac finished by the end of the week! Can you believe that? Jonny said that there was no way we could do,he said that the "artistic integrity of the songs would be sacrificed for the speed of production"...whatever that means. I think it means he's lazy. Anyway, when he said that our manager just said: "Listen, who gives a sheet about the artistic integrity? We've got units to shift, we've got deadlines to meet and we've got the music press to think of. There's only so much Kid A that they can take!". Jonny shut up then but Ed let a really loud fart and everyone laughed. It's going to be hard work, there's loads of stupid songs to finish
Dear Kitty,
Kitty! You're not going to believe this, the Bald guy is in the band!!! I know it sounds stupid but today while we were all trying to finish one of the songs (Hunting spinned plates or something) he walked into the studio and sat down behind the drum kit and started playing! Ed was going to kick him out and Col was going nuts but our manager just kept saying "WAIT!" everytime we complained.The weird thing is he's not bad, although his head looks really weird when you can't see the rest of his body. He kept smiling all the time as well which really put me off.
Dear Kitty,
Our manager was going nuts today cause we had a listening session for some people who we invited to hear Amnesiac. Booooring! Everyone just sat around and nodded at the songs and tapped their feet. I kept apologising for the song titles and blaming Ed until my manager hit me in the back of my head with a spoon! It really hurt!
Anyway, I think they all liked it cause people were coming up to me all evening saying that they were so glad that I hadn't bowed to expectation, whatever that means. I just told them that Puff Daddy was axed from the album so I stopped caring about it. They all laughed when I said this and started going on about how much of a 'genius' I was, and how 'gifted' I was. I wish Clare could've been there cause having all those people say those things about me would have impressed her a lot I think. The Bald guy got really drunk and started banging plates together and shouting :"I play with sandwiches! I play with sandwiches!" really loudly. Our manager told Ed to get rid of him and to keep him locked up from now on whenever other people were around. I didn't see where they took him but I found some broken plates in the corridor later.
Kitty,
What a boring day. Got more letters from people who hate me or hate Amnesiac. My hands hurts from writing replies. I'll copy one of the letters in here and then my reply.
Dear Thom,
You suck. Amnesiac sucks. Kid A sucked. When will you start making good music again and stop talking crap all day? If you don't I'm going to kill you and the whole band.
Signed: A real fan.
Dear A real fan,
did you know I have been working out and could probably kick you in the ear really hard? Did you know that on the second song on Amnesiac there's the sound of me dancing? Did you know I had a girlfriend and there is probably plenty of other girls interested in me? I bet you didn't know any of that! So, if you write another letter you better get worried, cause the next person to call on you might be me and I'll kick you in the ear.
Signed: Thom.
What do you think Kitty? I think it really shows him who's boss. The only envelopes I had were the perfumed ones with hearts on them that mom gave me, I hope he doesn't smell it before he opens it.
Hi Kitty,
I saw an REM song on the TV today and it reminded me of Michael Stipe. He looks weird, kind of like this ghost I saw once. I hope he has forgotten all about that thing with Bono and the patio. I haven't heard from Bono lately, I think his wife had another baby or something. I hope she has cause then it'll keep him busy and he might use the new patio.
Found a great new way to dry myself after having a shower. I used to use a towel but then you always have a wet towel afterwards. This morning I just ran out of the shower and skidded up and down the hall in my house. It dries out your feet really quickly and warms you up. I told Mom and she said that as long as I'm having fun it's ok but I should be careful. I'm going to have to think of a cool name for this.
Oh God Kitty,
Today they're giving that stupid song about knives to Radio 1. That means people are going to be listening to me and thinking I was being serious. The version of that song that we finally recored was me just making up lyrics and moaning and stuff. I was really tired and pretty unhappy that day cause they'd confirmed that neither Puff Daddy or Christina Aguilera were going to guest on the album. So I just made up some lyrics and moaned them into the microphone. The funny thing is that everyone seemed really happy except for the Bald guy. He just kept staring at me and hitting the cymbals really hard. I was really scared until Ed walked in front of him and I couldn't see him anymore so that was ok.
I hope people think the song is good, maybe they won't listen to the lyrics
Yep great stuff :-D
I think the guy stopped them though.
I think the guy stopped them though.
This is from an anti-radiohead websites.
The Diary of Thom Yorke, there's loads of entires, but these made me laugh the most:
----
Well today I started this diary, one which I'll start to call Kitty, just like my car. Oh god, haunted attic.
Dear Kitty,
Got my presents from the Tibetans, same stuff as last year. Do they not know that I never wear orange? All the same though I suppose I should be more charitable, it's just that they never shut up complaining all the time. Seriously, I'm thinking of pulling out of this years Freedom Concert if they don't stop going on and on. I've started my new workout routine and hope to keep it going this time. Nothing like being buff for the Summer, especially with 'I wanna Sexx you up (Feat. Puff Daddy)' on the new album. The damn dance routine in that video looks like a beech....
Dear Kitty,
So, new years eve. I've got it all planned out I'm going to drink this entire bottle of Tequila and try and burp the national anthem and see if they record and release it as a single. I looked on the net this afternoon and found a serious number of web sites devoted to my little band. Buncha losers!
Dear Kitty,
Oh Christ, haunted attic. I'm still hungover. Managed to get the entire of the Christina Aguilera's back catalogue on Napster. That's one hot chick, and with that set of lungs? Woooooeeee! The bald guy is still hanging around the recording sessions, yesterday Jonny asked him point blank who the hell he was and what did he want! I couldn't believe it, the guy said his name was Phil and he wanted "in on the band".
Dear Kitty,
YES! "Eye of the tiger it's got me in it's sights and I'm something something something If i diiiie for! Cause, Eye of the tiger and a blah blah blah blah". Sorry, I love that song. I played it this morning during my workout and it's been stuck in my head since. I even high fived the Bald guy when I saw him earlier! I think he was pretty surprised. I might add Eye of the Tiger as a bonus track after the other bonus track on Amnesiac.
Dear Kitty,
Ed invented a new game today while we were in the studio. He called it "Red Face" and you have to make your face go as red as you can in a minute. Ed's face went really red. The Bald guy was doing it too and it looked really weird cause all his head was going red.
Dear Kitty,
A big day. Lots of stuff happened. We were in the studio from early and Colin got in a fight with the Bald guy. I'm not sure what happened but the next thing I saw was Colin taking a swing at something behind him. The Bald guy was just standing there holding his tambourine up to protect himself. Before anyone could say anything Colin had hit him with a bass guitar!! Right on the head! The Bald guy just ran from the room crying and Colin started shouting stuff after him. Apparently the guy had tried to sneak in behind the drum kit and kept putting Colin off every time he moved closer. I swear, if the Bald guy ever tries to take over my position in the band, he'll get a knuckle sandwich!
Dear Kitty,
I'm almost sure I have grumble lumps now. I can see two things growing on my left hand, I tried to bite them off last night but I couldn't get them with me teeth. Even more cows were killed today, they all lined up and were shot which is pretty sad.
Well, today tomorrow and the next day are going to be pretty quiet days Kitty cause our manager went nuts today and told us that we have to have Amnesiac finished by the end of the week! Can you believe that? Jonny said that there was no way we could do,he said that the "artistic integrity of the songs would be sacrificed for the speed of production"...whatever that means. I think it means he's lazy. Anyway, when he said that our manager just said: "Listen, who gives a sheet about the artistic integrity? We've got units to shift, we've got deadlines to meet and we've got the music press to think of. There's only so much Kid A that they can take!". Jonny shut up then but Ed let a really loud fart and everyone laughed. It's going to be hard work, there's loads of stupid songs to finish
Dear Kitty,
Kitty! You're not going to believe this, the Bald guy is in the band!!! I know it sounds stupid but today while we were all trying to finish one of the songs (Hunting spinned plates or something) he walked into the studio and sat down behind the drum kit and started playing! Ed was going to kick him out and Col was going nuts but our manager just kept saying "WAIT!" everytime we complained.The weird thing is he's not bad, although his head looks really weird when you can't see the rest of his body. He kept smiling all the time as well which really put me off.
Dear Kitty,
Our manager was going nuts today cause we had a listening session for some people who we invited to hear Amnesiac. Booooring! Everyone just sat around and nodded at the songs and tapped their feet. I kept apologising for the song titles and blaming Ed until my manager hit me in the back of my head with a spoon! It really hurt!
Anyway, I think they all liked it cause people were coming up to me all evening saying that they were so glad that I hadn't bowed to expectation, whatever that means. I just told them that Puff Daddy was axed from the album so I stopped caring about it. They all laughed when I said this and started going on about how much of a 'genius' I was, and how 'gifted' I was. I wish Clare could've been there cause having all those people say those things about me would have impressed her a lot I think. The Bald guy got really drunk and started banging plates together and shouting :"I play with sandwiches! I play with sandwiches!" really loudly. Our manager told Ed to get rid of him and to keep him locked up from now on whenever other people were around. I didn't see where they took him but I found some broken plates in the corridor later.
Kitty,
What a boring day. Got more letters from people who hate me or hate Amnesiac. My hands hurts from writing replies. I'll copy one of the letters in here and then my reply.
Dear Thom,
You suck. Amnesiac sucks. Kid A sucked. When will you start making good music again and stop talking crap all day? If you don't I'm going to kill you and the whole band.
Signed: A real fan.
Dear A real fan,
did you know I have been working out and could probably kick you in the ear really hard? Did you know that on the second song on Amnesiac there's the sound of me dancing? Did you know I had a girlfriend and there is probably plenty of other girls interested in me? I bet you didn't know any of that! So, if you write another letter you better get worried, cause the next person to call on you might be me and I'll kick you in the ear.
Signed: Thom.
What do you think Kitty? I think it really shows him who's boss. The only envelopes I had were the perfumed ones with hearts on them that mom gave me, I hope he doesn't smell it before he opens it.
Hi Kitty,
I saw an REM song on the TV today and it reminded me of Michael Stipe. He looks weird, kind of like this ghost I saw once. I hope he has forgotten all about that thing with Bono and the patio. I haven't heard from Bono lately, I think his wife had another baby or something. I hope she has cause then it'll keep him busy and he might use the new patio.
Found a great new way to dry myself after having a shower. I used to use a towel but then you always have a wet towel afterwards. This morning I just ran out of the shower and skidded up and down the hall in my house. It dries out your feet really quickly and warms you up. I told Mom and she said that as long as I'm having fun it's ok but I should be careful. I'm going to have to think of a cool name for this.
Oh God Kitty,
Today they're giving that stupid song about knives to Radio 1. That means people are going to be listening to me and thinking I was being serious. The version of that song that we finally recored was me just making up lyrics and moaning and stuff. I was really tired and pretty unhappy that day cause they'd confirmed that neither Puff Daddy or Christina Aguilera were going to guest on the album. So I just made up some lyrics and moaned them into the microphone. The funny thing is that everyone seemed really happy except for the Bald guy. He just kept staring at me and hitting the cymbals really hard. I was really scared until Ed walked in front of him and I couldn't see him anymore so that was ok.
I hope people think the song is good, maybe they won't listen to the lyrics
The Diary of Thom Yorke, there's loads of entires, but these made me laugh the most:
----
Well today I started this diary, one which I'll start to call Kitty, just like my car. Oh god, haunted attic.
Dear Kitty,
Got my presents from the Tibetans, same stuff as last year. Do they not know that I never wear orange? All the same though I suppose I should be more charitable, it's just that they never shut up complaining all the time. Seriously, I'm thinking of pulling out of this years Freedom Concert if they don't stop going on and on. I've started my new workout routine and hope to keep it going this time. Nothing like being buff for the Summer, especially with 'I wanna Sexx you up (Feat. Puff Daddy)' on the new album. The damn dance routine in that video looks like a beech....
Dear Kitty,
So, new years eve. I've got it all planned out I'm going to drink this entire bottle of Tequila and try and burp the national anthem and see if they record and release it as a single. I looked on the net this afternoon and found a serious number of web sites devoted to my little band. Buncha losers!
Dear Kitty,
Oh Christ, haunted attic. I'm still hungover. Managed to get the entire of the Christina Aguilera's back catalogue on Napster. That's one hot chick, and with that set of lungs? Woooooeeee! The bald guy is still hanging around the recording sessions, yesterday Jonny asked him point blank who the hell he was and what did he want! I couldn't believe it, the guy said his name was Phil and he wanted "in on the band".
Dear Kitty,
YES! "Eye of the tiger it's got me in it's sights and I'm something something something If i diiiie for! Cause, Eye of the tiger and a blah blah blah blah". Sorry, I love that song. I played it this morning during my workout and it's been stuck in my head since. I even high fived the Bald guy when I saw him earlier! I think he was pretty surprised. I might add Eye of the Tiger as a bonus track after the other bonus track on Amnesiac.
Dear Kitty,
Ed invented a new game today while we were in the studio. He called it "Red Face" and you have to make your face go as red as you can in a minute. Ed's face went really red. The Bald guy was doing it too and it looked really weird cause all his head was going red.
Dear Kitty,
A big day. Lots of stuff happened. We were in the studio from early and Colin got in a fight with the Bald guy. I'm not sure what happened but the next thing I saw was Colin taking a swing at something behind him. The Bald guy was just standing there holding his tambourine up to protect himself. Before anyone could say anything Colin had hit him with a bass guitar!! Right on the head! The Bald guy just ran from the room crying and Colin started shouting stuff after him. Apparently the guy had tried to sneak in behind the drum kit and kept putting Colin off every time he moved closer. I swear, if the Bald guy ever tries to take over my position in the band, he'll get a knuckle sandwich!
Dear Kitty,
I'm almost sure I have grumble lumps now. I can see two things growing on my left hand, I tried to bite them off last night but I couldn't get them with me teeth. Even more cows were killed today, they all lined up and were shot which is pretty sad.
Well, today tomorrow and the next day are going to be pretty quiet days Kitty cause our manager went nuts today and told us that we have to have Amnesiac finished by the end of the week! Can you believe that? Jonny said that there was no way we could do,he said that the "artistic integrity of the songs would be sacrificed for the speed of production"...whatever that means. I think it means he's lazy. Anyway, when he said that our manager just said: "Listen, who gives a sheet about the artistic integrity? We've got units to shift, we've got deadlines to meet and we've got the music press to think of. There's only so much Kid A that they can take!". Jonny shut up then but Ed let a really loud fart and everyone laughed. It's going to be hard work, there's loads of stupid songs to finish
Dear Kitty,
Kitty! You're not going to believe this, the Bald guy is in the band!!! I know it sounds stupid but today while we were all trying to finish one of the songs (Hunting spinned plates or something) he walked into the studio and sat down behind the drum kit and started playing! Ed was going to kick him out and Col was going nuts but our manager just kept saying "WAIT!" everytime we complained.The weird thing is he's not bad, although his head looks really weird when you can't see the rest of his body. He kept smiling all the time as well which really put me off.
Dear Kitty,
Our manager was going nuts today cause we had a listening session for some people who we invited to hear Amnesiac. Booooring! Everyone just sat around and nodded at the songs and tapped their feet. I kept apologising for the song titles and blaming Ed until my manager hit me in the back of my head with a spoon! It really hurt!
Anyway, I think they all liked it cause people were coming up to me all evening saying that they were so glad that I hadn't bowed to expectation, whatever that means. I just told them that Puff Daddy was axed from the album so I stopped caring about it. They all laughed when I said this and started going on about how much of a 'genius' I was, and how 'gifted' I was. I wish Clare could've been there cause having all those people say those things about me would have impressed her a lot I think. The Bald guy got really drunk and started banging plates together and shouting :"I play with sandwiches! I play with sandwiches!" really loudly. Our manager told Ed to get rid of him and to keep him locked up from now on whenever other people were around. I didn't see where they took him but I found some broken plates in the corridor later.
Kitty,
What a boring day. Got more letters from people who hate me or hate Amnesiac. My hands hurts from writing replies. I'll copy one of the letters in here and then my reply.
Dear Thom,
You suck. Amnesiac sucks. Kid A sucked. When will you start making good music again and stop talking crap all day? If you don't I'm going to kill you and the whole band.
Signed: A real fan.
Dear A real fan,
did you know I have been working out and could probably kick you in the ear really hard? Did you know that on the second song on Amnesiac there's the sound of me dancing? Did you know I had a girlfriend and there is probably plenty of other girls interested in me? I bet you didn't know any of that! So, if you write another letter you better get worried, cause the next person to call on you might be me and I'll kick you in the ear.
Signed: Thom.
What do you think Kitty? I think it really shows him who's boss. The only envelopes I had were the perfumed ones with hearts on them that mom gave me, I hope he doesn't smell it before he opens it.
Hi Kitty,
I saw an REM song on the TV today and it reminded me of Michael Stipe. He looks weird, kind of like this ghost I saw once. I hope he has forgotten all about that thing with Bono and the patio. I haven't heard from Bono lately, I think his wife had another baby or something. I hope she has cause then it'll keep him busy and he might use the new patio.
Found a great new way to dry myself after having a shower. I used to use a towel but then you always have a wet towel afterwards. This morning I just ran out of the shower and skidded up and down the hall in my house. It dries out your feet really quickly and warms you up. I told Mom and she said that as long as I'm having fun it's ok but I should be careful. I'm going to have to think of a cool name for this.
Oh God Kitty,
Today they're giving that stupid song about knives to Radio 1. That means people are going to be listening to me and thinking I was being serious. The version of that song that we finally recored was me just making up lyrics and moaning and stuff. I was really tired and pretty unhappy that day cause they'd confirmed that neither Puff Daddy or Christina Aguilera were going to guest on the album. So I just made up some lyrics and moaned them into the microphone. The funny thing is that everyone seemed really happy except for the Bald guy. He just kept staring at me and hitting the cymbals really hard. I was really scared until Ed walked in front of him and I couldn't see him anymore so that was ok.
I hope people think the song is good, maybe they won't listen to the lyrics