Viewing Thread:
"Chain mail revenge....."

In the next post as it's quite long.

I DIDN'T write this, though I really wish I had...

haha that emailis funy i have had lots of those but i send them on because some of the emailssay that if you dont thenyou will kill santa and then i wouldnt getany presents thisyear i bet goatboy is busy now that all there peopl are goatless at least he will meet lots of people as he goes to the goatless people

Well I've been sent about 30 Chain letters saying if I dont forward it, I will die a slow and painful death (or something like that)

And well I'm still here, and I'm still alive, and I'm having fun, not suffering from years and years of bad luck!

seyas

Your Honour wrote:
the
> chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this
> country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to
> the year 2346, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First
> of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5
> seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat

LOL, I got sent this e-mail, I hate chain mail, the sad thing is people really do believe this.

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by an@l electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fudging chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.


Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of utter poo. So basically, this message is a big Fudge YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2346, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fudge them.


If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fudging care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
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> > Chain Letter Type 1:
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> > Make a wish!!!
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> > No, really, go on and make one!!!
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> > Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
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> > Wish something else!!!
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> > Not that, you pervert!!
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> > Is your finger getting tired yet?
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STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be peeed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be peeeed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be peeeed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be peeeed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.


Thanks!!!!
Good Luck!!!
-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.


Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullsheet. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - in case you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!


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Chain Letter Type 3:

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pr!cks with nothing better to do.
So this is how it works:

Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.



*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens everyday for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

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Chain Letter Type 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though
you stink of sheet, and
your breath smells like you've been eating
catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though
you're as ugly as a
hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after
you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night
while you cry about
your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you
when they really think
you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to
vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet,
vacuums and then gets
the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak much
English...
-no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain
letters because he
wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
have sex ever again.

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The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't p!ss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

In the next post as it's quite long.

I DIDN'T write this, though I really wish I had...