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- This is a transcript of the first meeting of Game Characters Anonymous -
Chairman: Hello to you all and welcome to our very first GCA meeting. As you know, we are here to break the illusion that you exist in a game environment and in fact you are living beings in the real world. To break the ice, I myself can admit that I once believed that I was the whip in the Indiana Jones games. My family and friends pleaded with me to get professional help, especially when I started throwing myself at branches in an attempt to wrap around them for my master to swing with. After multiple hospital trips I sought out help, and here I am today, fully cured.
So, for this first meeting please introduce yourself and tell us a bit about how you are feeling.
DK: Hi. My name is Donkey Kong and I am a video game character.
For me it all started one night when I was looking for a snack. I usually enjoy a nice banana before bedtime. It had been a hectic day, the plumbers had been in to fix our bath, and all I wanted was some grub. Anyway, I went to the fruit bowl and to my horror all my bananas had gone missing. There could only be one explanation, the plumbers must’ve taken them.
From that moment I swore vengence on those two, and made it my goal in life to destroy them and anyone else who came between me and my bananas.
Chairman: Mario where are you going ?
Mario: EH ? I needa to go, I thinka I left the oven on....
Chairman: Sit down please, I’m sure we can sort all this out in an amicable way. Donkey, please continue.
DK: Yeah, like I said, it was war. I really can’t help myself, everytime I see a pair of dungarees I go mental, throwing barrels around, smacking people, grabbing bananas left right and center. And can you imagine our repair bills at home ? If I need to go into a different room, I have to swing from lightshade to lightshade. My wife is at her wits end. I need help.
Chairman: OK, DK. Thanks for that introduction, here’s a banana. Now who is next ?
Eike: Hi. My name is Eike, and I am a video game character. It all started when I was murdered.... I was wa.......
Chairman: You were murdered ?
Eike: I was what ?
Chairman: You just said you were murdered....
Eike: Who are you ?
Chairman: I’m the chairman of ga....
Eike: Where am I ? What am I doing here ? Who are all these weirdos ? They seem like shadows in my memory. Ahhhhh God, it is happening again.... Aaaahhhh....
- Eike runs from the room –
Chairman: Ah, OK... well that was unexpected ! OK, next....
PM: Hi, I’m Pacman and I’m a video game character.
I’ve been this was since I was a kid. My therapist tells me that it all started when I was given a giant yellow smartie as a treat. I had never seen the likes of this before, and decided that this was what life was all about.
Since then a bunch of ghosts appeared –PM looks around- and just started chasing me around the place. Wherever I’d go they were right on my heels, always floating, never speaking. They’re freaking me out man. But I know how to beat them... Oh yeah, I’ve got their number....
Chairman: And how is that ?
PM: I eat them. I have it all worked out. I just leave a trail of smarties in plain view. The ghosts know I love smarties, so they come out...
Chairman: And ?
PM: And I just eat them. That shows ‘em. Oh yeah that shows ‘em all right. They won’t mess with me again. But there is a problem. The police are becoming interested. They’re asking a lot of questions. Saying that there are a lot of tramps missing from our neighborhood. Saying that these bums are following sweetie trails around the neighborhood, and just disappearing. Nothing to do with me I tell them, but they’re coming around more and more. You have to help me.
Chairman: What does your wife have to say about this ?
PM: You mean Mrs. Pacman ?
Chairman: Well, if by Mrs.Pacman you mean your charming wife Edna, then yes !
Edna: You have to lock Harold up. He needs treatment. Please help us. Please....
- Gulp. Crunch. Splat. –
Chairman: Em, we seem to have lost Mrs.Pacman, I mean Edna. Can someone please put a straight jacket on pacman.... NEXT !
Link: Hi, I’m Link. It all started when they took Zelda from me. We were just kids that met one summer in the woods. Ah, we had a great summer that year. Lost in our own childish world. But then she vanished. Of course, people say it was her parents taking her back to Birmingham, but I know better. She is trapped in a dark castle somewhere, all alone.
But I have an Ocarina to save her with.
- toot , toot –
Link: See, this Ocarina solves everything. I can change the flow of time, I can change into a Goron....
Chairman: Moron, more likely
Link: Pardon ?
Chairman: Nothing, please carry on.
Link: I’ve spoken to fairies you know. They understand me. They’ve shown me the way. They’ve shown me how to get information on Zelda. All I need to do is call to peoples dwellings and start to talk to them about life and hope, and they will just open up to me.
Chairman: What are the fairies called Link ?
Link: Witnesses. They’re called. Because they witnessed the kidnapping of Zelda, by the evil Jehovah.
Chairman: So, you work for the Jehovah Witnesses then.
Link: It is not work, it is my life quest. IT IS MY DESTINY.
- toot toot –
- Link runs from the room –
Chairman: OK, next we have Brendan, or ‘Snake’ as he likes to be called. Snake, please come out form behind that chair.
Snake: You can see me ?
Chairman: Of course we can see you, why wouldn’t we ?
Snake: I’m in stealth mode.
- Snake sits down, moving in silence –
Snake: It is a conspiracy you know. Don’t trust anyone. But why all the killing, ... why ? Killing is bad, but I have to do it to survive. To expose the evil underbelly of the conspirators.
Chairman: What conspirators ?
Snake: Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’m not stupid. You’re in on it too.
Chairman: Now, steady on. I .....
Snake: Eat lead....
- Bang –
Snake: Such a senseless waste of human life....
- Other transcripts have lately been uncovered, but are too sad to present to you at this time -
- You too can help these people, send your contributions and Gameadays to kevd. I’ll be sure to exorcise all those gaming demons, trapped in their imaginary digital worlds. I will free them.
I will free them all.... follow me my children, mine is the path to freedom....
Follow me..... -
Chairman: Hello to you all and welcome to our very first GCA meeting. As you know, we are here to break the illusion that you exist in a game environment and in fact you are living beings in the real world. To break the ice, I myself can admit that I once believed that I was the whip in the Indiana Jones games. My family and friends pleaded with me to get professional help, especially when I started throwing myself at branches in an attempt to wrap around them for my master to swing with. After multiple hospital trips I sought out help, and here I am today, fully cured.
So, for this first meeting please introduce yourself and tell us a bit about how you are feeling.
DK: Hi. My name is Donkey Kong and I am a video game character.
For me it all started one night when I was looking for a snack. I usually enjoy a nice banana before bedtime. It had been a hectic day, the plumbers had been in to fix our bath, and all I wanted was some grub. Anyway, I went to the fruit bowl and to my horror all my bananas had gone missing. There could only be one explanation, the plumbers must’ve taken them.
From that moment I swore vengence on those two, and made it my goal in life to destroy them and anyone else who came between me and my bananas.
Chairman: Mario where are you going ?
Mario: EH ? I needa to go, I thinka I left the oven on....
Chairman: Sit down please, I’m sure we can sort all this out in an amicable way. Donkey, please continue.
DK: Yeah, like I said, it was war. I really can’t help myself, everytime I see a pair of dungarees I go mental, throwing barrels around, smacking people, grabbing bananas left right and center. And can you imagine our repair bills at home ? If I need to go into a different room, I have to swing from lightshade to lightshade. My wife is at her wits end. I need help.
Chairman: OK, DK. Thanks for that introduction, here’s a banana. Now who is next ?
Eike: Hi. My name is Eike, and I am a video game character. It all started when I was murdered.... I was wa.......
Chairman: You were murdered ?
Eike: I was what ?
Chairman: You just said you were murdered....
Eike: Who are you ?
Chairman: I’m the chairman of ga....
Eike: Where am I ? What am I doing here ? Who are all these weirdos ? They seem like shadows in my memory. Ahhhhh God, it is happening again.... Aaaahhhh....
- Eike runs from the room –
Chairman: Ah, OK... well that was unexpected ! OK, next....
PM: Hi, I’m Pacman and I’m a video game character.
I’ve been this was since I was a kid. My therapist tells me that it all started when I was given a giant yellow smartie as a treat. I had never seen the likes of this before, and decided that this was what life was all about.
Since then a bunch of ghosts appeared –PM looks around- and just started chasing me around the place. Wherever I’d go they were right on my heels, always floating, never speaking. They’re freaking me out man. But I know how to beat them... Oh yeah, I’ve got their number....
Chairman: And how is that ?
PM: I eat them. I have it all worked out. I just leave a trail of smarties in plain view. The ghosts know I love smarties, so they come out...
Chairman: And ?
PM: And I just eat them. That shows ‘em. Oh yeah that shows ‘em all right. They won’t mess with me again. But there is a problem. The police are becoming interested. They’re asking a lot of questions. Saying that there are a lot of tramps missing from our neighborhood. Saying that these bums are following sweetie trails around the neighborhood, and just disappearing. Nothing to do with me I tell them, but they’re coming around more and more. You have to help me.
Chairman: What does your wife have to say about this ?
PM: You mean Mrs. Pacman ?
Chairman: Well, if by Mrs.Pacman you mean your charming wife Edna, then yes !
Edna: You have to lock Harold up. He needs treatment. Please help us. Please....
- Gulp. Crunch. Splat. –
Chairman: Em, we seem to have lost Mrs.Pacman, I mean Edna. Can someone please put a straight jacket on pacman.... NEXT !
Link: Hi, I’m Link. It all started when they took Zelda from me. We were just kids that met one summer in the woods. Ah, we had a great summer that year. Lost in our own childish world. But then she vanished. Of course, people say it was her parents taking her back to Birmingham, but I know better. She is trapped in a dark castle somewhere, all alone.
But I have an Ocarina to save her with.
- toot , toot –
Link: See, this Ocarina solves everything. I can change the flow of time, I can change into a Goron....
Chairman: Moron, more likely
Link: Pardon ?
Chairman: Nothing, please carry on.
Link: I’ve spoken to fairies you know. They understand me. They’ve shown me the way. They’ve shown me how to get information on Zelda. All I need to do is call to peoples dwellings and start to talk to them about life and hope, and they will just open up to me.
Chairman: What are the fairies called Link ?
Link: Witnesses. They’re called. Because they witnessed the kidnapping of Zelda, by the evil Jehovah.
Chairman: So, you work for the Jehovah Witnesses then.
Link: It is not work, it is my life quest. IT IS MY DESTINY.
- toot toot –
- Link runs from the room –
Chairman: OK, next we have Brendan, or ‘Snake’ as he likes to be called. Snake, please come out form behind that chair.
Snake: You can see me ?
Chairman: Of course we can see you, why wouldn’t we ?
Snake: I’m in stealth mode.
- Snake sits down, moving in silence –
Snake: It is a conspiracy you know. Don’t trust anyone. But why all the killing, ... why ? Killing is bad, but I have to do it to survive. To expose the evil underbelly of the conspirators.
Chairman: What conspirators ?
Snake: Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’m not stupid. You’re in on it too.
Chairman: Now, steady on. I .....
Snake: Eat lead....
- Bang –
Snake: Such a senseless waste of human life....
- Other transcripts have lately been uncovered, but are too sad to present to you at this time -
- You too can help these people, send your contributions and Gameadays to kevd. I’ll be sure to exorcise all those gaming demons, trapped in their imaginary digital worlds. I will free them.
I will free them all.... follow me my children, mine is the path to freedom....
Follow me..... -
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- This is a transcript of the first meeting of Game Characters Anonymous -
Chairman: Hello to you all and welcome to our very first GCA meeting. As you know, we are here to break the illusion that you exist in a game environment and in fact you are living beings in the real world. To break the ice, I myself can admit that I once believed that I was the whip in the Indiana Jones games. My family and friends pleaded with me to get professional help, especially when I started throwing myself at branches in an attempt to wrap around them for my master to swing with. After multiple hospital trips I sought out help, and here I am today, fully cured.
So, for this first meeting please introduce yourself and tell us a bit about how you are feeling.
DK: Hi. My name is Donkey Kong and I am a video game character.
For me it all started one night when I was looking for a snack. I usually enjoy a nice banana before bedtime. It had been a hectic day, the plumbers had been in to fix our bath, and all I wanted was some grub. Anyway, I went to the fruit bowl and to my horror all my bananas had gone missing. There could only be one explanation, the plumbers must’ve taken them.
From that moment I swore vengence on those two, and made it my goal in life to destroy them and anyone else who came between me and my bananas.
Chairman: Mario where are you going ?
Mario: EH ? I needa to go, I thinka I left the oven on....
Chairman: Sit down please, I’m sure we can sort all this out in an amicable way. Donkey, please continue.
DK: Yeah, like I said, it was war. I really can’t help myself, everytime I see a pair of dungarees I go mental, throwing barrels around, smacking people, grabbing bananas left right and center. And can you imagine our repair bills at home ? If I need to go into a different room, I have to swing from lightshade to lightshade. My wife is at her wits end. I need help.
Chairman: OK, DK. Thanks for that introduction, here’s a banana. Now who is next ?
Eike: Hi. My name is Eike, and I am a video game character. It all started when I was murdered.... I was wa.......
Chairman: You were murdered ?
Eike: I was what ?
Chairman: You just said you were murdered....
Eike: Who are you ?
Chairman: I’m the chairman of ga....
Eike: Where am I ? What am I doing here ? Who are all these weirdos ? They seem like shadows in my memory. Ahhhhh God, it is happening again.... Aaaahhhh....
- Eike runs from the room –
Chairman: Ah, OK... well that was unexpected ! OK, next....
PM: Hi, I’m Pacman and I’m a video game character.
I’ve been this was since I was a kid. My therapist tells me that it all started when I was given a giant yellow smartie as a treat. I had never seen the likes of this before, and decided that this was what life was all about.
Since then a bunch of ghosts appeared –PM looks around- and just started chasing me around the place. Wherever I’d go they were right on my heels, always floating, never speaking. They’re freaking me out man. But I know how to beat them... Oh yeah, I’ve got their number....
Chairman: And how is that ?
PM: I eat them. I have it all worked out. I just leave a trail of smarties in plain view. The ghosts know I love smarties, so they come out...
Chairman: And ?
PM: And I just eat them. That shows ‘em. Oh yeah that shows ‘em all right. They won’t mess with me again. But there is a problem. The police are becoming interested. They’re asking a lot of questions. Saying that there are a lot of tramps missing from our neighborhood. Saying that these bums are following sweetie trails around the neighborhood, and just disappearing. Nothing to do with me I tell them, but they’re coming around more and more. You have to help me.
Chairman: What does your wife have to say about this ?
PM: You mean Mrs. Pacman ?
Chairman: Well, if by Mrs.Pacman you mean your charming wife Edna, then yes !
Edna: You have to lock Harold up. He needs treatment. Please help us. Please....
- Gulp. Crunch. Splat. –
Chairman: Em, we seem to have lost Mrs.Pacman, I mean Edna. Can someone please put a straight jacket on pacman.... NEXT !
Link: Hi, I’m Link. It all started when they took Zelda from me. We were just kids that met one summer in the woods. Ah, we had a great summer that year. Lost in our own childish world. But then she vanished. Of course, people say it was her parents taking her back to Birmingham, but I know better. She is trapped in a dark castle somewhere, all alone.
But I have an Ocarina to save her with.
- toot , toot –
Link: See, this Ocarina solves everything. I can change the flow of time, I can change into a Goron....
Chairman: Moron, more likely
Link: Pardon ?
Chairman: Nothing, please carry on.
Link: I’ve spoken to fairies you know. They understand me. They’ve shown me the way. They’ve shown me how to get information on Zelda. All I need to do is call to peoples dwellings and start to talk to them about life and hope, and they will just open up to me.
Chairman: What are the fairies called Link ?
Link: Witnesses. They’re called. Because they witnessed the kidnapping of Zelda, by the evil Jehovah.
Chairman: So, you work for the Jehovah Witnesses then.
Link: It is not work, it is my life quest. IT IS MY DESTINY.
- toot toot –
- Link runs from the room –
Chairman: OK, next we have Brendan, or ‘Snake’ as he likes to be called. Snake, please come out form behind that chair.
Snake: You can see me ?
Chairman: Of course we can see you, why wouldn’t we ?
Snake: I’m in stealth mode.
- Snake sits down, moving in silence –
Snake: It is a conspiracy you know. Don’t trust anyone. But why all the killing, ... why ? Killing is bad, but I have to do it to survive. To expose the evil underbelly of the conspirators.
Chairman: What conspirators ?
Snake: Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’m not stupid. You’re in on it too.
Chairman: Now, steady on. I .....
Snake: Eat lead....
- Bang –
Snake: Such a senseless waste of human life....
- Other transcripts have lately been uncovered, but are too sad to present to you at this time -
- You too can help these people, send your contributions and Gameadays to kevd. I’ll be sure to exorcise all those gaming demons, trapped in their imaginary digital worlds. I will free them.
I will free them all.... follow me my children, mine is the path to freedom....
Follow me..... -
Chairman: Hello to you all and welcome to our very first GCA meeting. As you know, we are here to break the illusion that you exist in a game environment and in fact you are living beings in the real world. To break the ice, I myself can admit that I once believed that I was the whip in the Indiana Jones games. My family and friends pleaded with me to get professional help, especially when I started throwing myself at branches in an attempt to wrap around them for my master to swing with. After multiple hospital trips I sought out help, and here I am today, fully cured.
So, for this first meeting please introduce yourself and tell us a bit about how you are feeling.
DK: Hi. My name is Donkey Kong and I am a video game character.
For me it all started one night when I was looking for a snack. I usually enjoy a nice banana before bedtime. It had been a hectic day, the plumbers had been in to fix our bath, and all I wanted was some grub. Anyway, I went to the fruit bowl and to my horror all my bananas had gone missing. There could only be one explanation, the plumbers must’ve taken them.
From that moment I swore vengence on those two, and made it my goal in life to destroy them and anyone else who came between me and my bananas.
Chairman: Mario where are you going ?
Mario: EH ? I needa to go, I thinka I left the oven on....
Chairman: Sit down please, I’m sure we can sort all this out in an amicable way. Donkey, please continue.
DK: Yeah, like I said, it was war. I really can’t help myself, everytime I see a pair of dungarees I go mental, throwing barrels around, smacking people, grabbing bananas left right and center. And can you imagine our repair bills at home ? If I need to go into a different room, I have to swing from lightshade to lightshade. My wife is at her wits end. I need help.
Chairman: OK, DK. Thanks for that introduction, here’s a banana. Now who is next ?
Eike: Hi. My name is Eike, and I am a video game character. It all started when I was murdered.... I was wa.......
Chairman: You were murdered ?
Eike: I was what ?
Chairman: You just said you were murdered....
Eike: Who are you ?
Chairman: I’m the chairman of ga....
Eike: Where am I ? What am I doing here ? Who are all these weirdos ? They seem like shadows in my memory. Ahhhhh God, it is happening again.... Aaaahhhh....
- Eike runs from the room –
Chairman: Ah, OK... well that was unexpected ! OK, next....
PM: Hi, I’m Pacman and I’m a video game character.
I’ve been this was since I was a kid. My therapist tells me that it all started when I was given a giant yellow smartie as a treat. I had never seen the likes of this before, and decided that this was what life was all about.
Since then a bunch of ghosts appeared –PM looks around- and just started chasing me around the place. Wherever I’d go they were right on my heels, always floating, never speaking. They’re freaking me out man. But I know how to beat them... Oh yeah, I’ve got their number....
Chairman: And how is that ?
PM: I eat them. I have it all worked out. I just leave a trail of smarties in plain view. The ghosts know I love smarties, so they come out...
Chairman: And ?
PM: And I just eat them. That shows ‘em. Oh yeah that shows ‘em all right. They won’t mess with me again. But there is a problem. The police are becoming interested. They’re asking a lot of questions. Saying that there are a lot of tramps missing from our neighborhood. Saying that these bums are following sweetie trails around the neighborhood, and just disappearing. Nothing to do with me I tell them, but they’re coming around more and more. You have to help me.
Chairman: What does your wife have to say about this ?
PM: You mean Mrs. Pacman ?
Chairman: Well, if by Mrs.Pacman you mean your charming wife Edna, then yes !
Edna: You have to lock Harold up. He needs treatment. Please help us. Please....
- Gulp. Crunch. Splat. –
Chairman: Em, we seem to have lost Mrs.Pacman, I mean Edna. Can someone please put a straight jacket on pacman.... NEXT !
Link: Hi, I’m Link. It all started when they took Zelda from me. We were just kids that met one summer in the woods. Ah, we had a great summer that year. Lost in our own childish world. But then she vanished. Of course, people say it was her parents taking her back to Birmingham, but I know better. She is trapped in a dark castle somewhere, all alone.
But I have an Ocarina to save her with.
- toot , toot –
Link: See, this Ocarina solves everything. I can change the flow of time, I can change into a Goron....
Chairman: Moron, more likely
Link: Pardon ?
Chairman: Nothing, please carry on.
Link: I’ve spoken to fairies you know. They understand me. They’ve shown me the way. They’ve shown me how to get information on Zelda. All I need to do is call to peoples dwellings and start to talk to them about life and hope, and they will just open up to me.
Chairman: What are the fairies called Link ?
Link: Witnesses. They’re called. Because they witnessed the kidnapping of Zelda, by the evil Jehovah.
Chairman: So, you work for the Jehovah Witnesses then.
Link: It is not work, it is my life quest. IT IS MY DESTINY.
- toot toot –
- Link runs from the room –
Chairman: OK, next we have Brendan, or ‘Snake’ as he likes to be called. Snake, please come out form behind that chair.
Snake: You can see me ?
Chairman: Of course we can see you, why wouldn’t we ?
Snake: I’m in stealth mode.
- Snake sits down, moving in silence –
Snake: It is a conspiracy you know. Don’t trust anyone. But why all the killing, ... why ? Killing is bad, but I have to do it to survive. To expose the evil underbelly of the conspirators.
Chairman: What conspirators ?
Snake: Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’m not stupid. You’re in on it too.
Chairman: Now, steady on. I .....
Snake: Eat lead....
- Bang –
Snake: Such a senseless waste of human life....
- Other transcripts have lately been uncovered, but are too sad to present to you at this time -
- You too can help these people, send your contributions and Gameadays to kevd. I’ll be sure to exorcise all those gaming demons, trapped in their imaginary digital worlds. I will free them.
I will free them all.... follow me my children, mine is the path to freedom....
Follow me..... -
LOL!
Very good!
Very good!
LOL
Heh
this is definatly GAD worthy material
Snake: Such a senseless waste of human life....
My fave
My fave
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