The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Dug a few fighty games out last night for the PSX and revisited the scenes of former triumphs and victories.
I enjoy them quit a bit, until I realise they were annoying.
Plots:
Always some musty story about a fighting championship and the best from all corners of the world are invited etc etc to punch each other really quickly and hard.
Why bother with a plot? I don’t care, do you? (and if you say yes, you really should be immersed in your big beardy RPG beard world.)
(Beard)
The into to the best fighty game would be:
(Announcers voice) “For no reason at all, loads of maniacs gathered to have a fight. Let’s throwdown”
That simple.
Who really gives a monkey’s why they want to smash each other about?
Locations:
Rubbish.
If you can get top-class fighters from all over the world to compete for no money, you’re telling me you can’t hire a nice hall somewhere?
You have to fight on rooftops and in someone’s garden?
Pikey organising going on here, even Fight Club met in basements, but oh no, for the single greatest tournament “the world had ever seen”, you have pummel your opponent in the kitchen of a restaurant.
Fighters:
Always the same.
Some Bruce Lee wannabe that screams like a baboon on fire.
Some ropey old bloke with a beard/tache that has the agility of a 12yr old Russian Gymnast. (Nonsense, I’ve goaded my grand-dad into fights with strangers, and he always ends up on the floor choking on his teeth. Hell, he can’t even win against a 7yr old armed with a bat.)
Some woman with a mini-skirt. And no matter how much you try, you ain’t seeing up there so don’t bother to choose her, except for when your girlfriend plays.
Some lunky monster bloke that takes an age to get any moves off and makes stupid noises when you repeatedly kick him in his big slow face.
Moves:
Tekken has it correct, nice simple controls.
Street-Fighter? Bunch of old mans pant. I don’t want to rotate my directional-pad in a 360 direction whilst pressing 3 buttons and doing a handstand.
If I could pull off these combos, I’d be able to do that for real.
Rubbish.
And learning the combos is pointless, because your girlfriend can choose Nina Williams and just mash the keys randomly like a chimp using a calculator and still whup you 5 rounds straight.
Why doesn’t she respect the skill and trickery needed to pull off the 19-move death combo?
Because you don’t need it, that’s why.
And the one mate that uses one character, with one move all the bloody time.
Power-Ups
Now, I've seen a few fights and been unlucky to get into a couple, and I have NEVER seen anyone stand back and pause whilst they started to glow and tremble.
If I did, I'd run away faster than Ben Johnson in Boots.
I resent spending a good minute beating my opponent with rapid (yet strangely pants) kicks and chops, only for them to stand there and start to hum before annihaliting me in a burst of flame and then taunting me.
Respect the fighty games rules you cheaty punks.
Fighting Games are pants.
Not as much as Beardy RPG pants, but still pants.
I enjoy them quit a bit, until I realise they were annoying.
Plots:
Always some musty story about a fighting championship and the best from all corners of the world are invited etc etc to punch each other really quickly and hard.
Why bother with a plot? I don’t care, do you? (and if you say yes, you really should be immersed in your big beardy RPG beard world.)
(Beard)
The into to the best fighty game would be:
(Announcers voice) “For no reason at all, loads of maniacs gathered to have a fight. Let’s throwdown”
That simple.
Who really gives a monkey’s why they want to smash each other about?
Locations:
Rubbish.
If you can get top-class fighters from all over the world to compete for no money, you’re telling me you can’t hire a nice hall somewhere?
You have to fight on rooftops and in someone’s garden?
Pikey organising going on here, even Fight Club met in basements, but oh no, for the single greatest tournament “the world had ever seen”, you have pummel your opponent in the kitchen of a restaurant.
Fighters:
Always the same.
Some Bruce Lee wannabe that screams like a baboon on fire.
Some ropey old bloke with a beard/tache that has the agility of a 12yr old Russian Gymnast. (Nonsense, I’ve goaded my grand-dad into fights with strangers, and he always ends up on the floor choking on his teeth. Hell, he can’t even win against a 7yr old armed with a bat.)
Some woman with a mini-skirt. And no matter how much you try, you ain’t seeing up there so don’t bother to choose her, except for when your girlfriend plays.
Some lunky monster bloke that takes an age to get any moves off and makes stupid noises when you repeatedly kick him in his big slow face.
Moves:
Tekken has it correct, nice simple controls.
Street-Fighter? Bunch of old mans pant. I don’t want to rotate my directional-pad in a 360 direction whilst pressing 3 buttons and doing a handstand.
If I could pull off these combos, I’d be able to do that for real.
Rubbish.
And learning the combos is pointless, because your girlfriend can choose Nina Williams and just mash the keys randomly like a chimp using a calculator and still whup you 5 rounds straight.
Why doesn’t she respect the skill and trickery needed to pull off the 19-move death combo?
Because you don’t need it, that’s why.
And the one mate that uses one character, with one move all the bloody time.
Power-Ups
Now, I've seen a few fights and been unlucky to get into a couple, and I have NEVER seen anyone stand back and pause whilst they started to glow and tremble.
If I did, I'd run away faster than Ben Johnson in Boots.
I resent spending a good minute beating my opponent with rapid (yet strangely pants) kicks and chops, only for them to stand there and start to hum before annihaliting me in a burst of flame and then taunting me.
Respect the fighty games rules you cheaty punks.
Fighting Games are pants.
Not as much as Beardy RPG pants, but still pants.
Soul Calibers pretty good - Voldo is a truely unique character.
Another problem with fighters is their annoyingly repetitive nature. Not really much variation.
Another problem with fighters is their annoyingly repetitive nature. Not really much variation.
What was that fighting game where you could knock people's clothes off by punching them?
Hmm, don't like fighting games myself, with the exception of wrestling games but I've been having a rant about them recently as well. So nothing else needs to be said. Maybe Beard again, but that's it. Oh and those female characters wear pants anyway, the swines. Not that I've checked, I'm just assuming. Erm, yes well MY GOD IS THAT A THREE HEADED MONKEY! (Runs, quite fast, leaving a beard shaped outline).
Drunken multiplayer:
As good as it gets.
As good as it gets.
Dug a few fighty games out last night for the PSX and revisited the scenes of former triumphs and victories.
I enjoy them quit a bit, until I realise they were annoying.
Plots:
Always some musty story about a fighting championship and the best from all corners of the world are invited etc etc to punch each other really quickly and hard.
Why bother with a plot? I don’t care, do you? (and if you say yes, you really should be immersed in your big beardy RPG beard world.)
(Beard)
The into to the best fighty game would be:
(Announcers voice) “For no reason at all, loads of maniacs gathered to have a fight. Let’s throwdown”
That simple.
Who really gives a monkey’s why they want to smash each other about?
Locations:
Rubbish.
If you can get top-class fighters from all over the world to compete for no money, you’re telling me you can’t hire a nice hall somewhere?
You have to fight on rooftops and in someone’s garden?
Pikey organising going on here, even Fight Club met in basements, but oh no, for the single greatest tournament “the world had ever seen”, you have pummel your opponent in the kitchen of a restaurant.
Fighters:
Always the same.
Some Bruce Lee wannabe that screams like a baboon on fire.
Some ropey old bloke with a beard/tache that has the agility of a 12yr old Russian Gymnast. (Nonsense, I’ve goaded my grand-dad into fights with strangers, and he always ends up on the floor choking on his teeth. Hell, he can’t even win against a 7yr old armed with a bat.)
Some woman with a mini-skirt. And no matter how much you try, you ain’t seeing up there so don’t bother to choose her, except for when your girlfriend plays.
Some lunky monster bloke that takes an age to get any moves off and makes stupid noises when you repeatedly kick him in his big slow face.
Moves:
Tekken has it correct, nice simple controls.
Street-Fighter? Bunch of old mans pant. I don’t want to rotate my directional-pad in a 360 direction whilst pressing 3 buttons and doing a handstand.
If I could pull off these combos, I’d be able to do that for real.
Rubbish.
And learning the combos is pointless, because your girlfriend can choose Nina Williams and just mash the keys randomly like a chimp using a calculator and still whup you 5 rounds straight.
Why doesn’t she respect the skill and trickery needed to pull off the 19-move death combo?
Because you don’t need it, that’s why.
And the one mate that uses one character, with one move all the bloody time.
Power-Ups
Now, I've seen a few fights and been unlucky to get into a couple, and I have NEVER seen anyone stand back and pause whilst they started to glow and tremble.
If I did, I'd run away faster than Ben Johnson in Boots.
I resent spending a good minute beating my opponent with rapid (yet strangely pants) kicks and chops, only for them to stand there and start to hum before annihaliting me in a burst of flame and then taunting me.
Respect the fighty games rules you cheaty punks.
Fighting Games are pants.
Not as much as Beardy RPG pants, but still pants.
I enjoy them quit a bit, until I realise they were annoying.
Plots:
Always some musty story about a fighting championship and the best from all corners of the world are invited etc etc to punch each other really quickly and hard.
Why bother with a plot? I don’t care, do you? (and if you say yes, you really should be immersed in your big beardy RPG beard world.)
(Beard)
The into to the best fighty game would be:
(Announcers voice) “For no reason at all, loads of maniacs gathered to have a fight. Let’s throwdown”
That simple.
Who really gives a monkey’s why they want to smash each other about?
Locations:
Rubbish.
If you can get top-class fighters from all over the world to compete for no money, you’re telling me you can’t hire a nice hall somewhere?
You have to fight on rooftops and in someone’s garden?
Pikey organising going on here, even Fight Club met in basements, but oh no, for the single greatest tournament “the world had ever seen”, you have pummel your opponent in the kitchen of a restaurant.
Fighters:
Always the same.
Some Bruce Lee wannabe that screams like a baboon on fire.
Some ropey old bloke with a beard/tache that has the agility of a 12yr old Russian Gymnast. (Nonsense, I’ve goaded my grand-dad into fights with strangers, and he always ends up on the floor choking on his teeth. Hell, he can’t even win against a 7yr old armed with a bat.)
Some woman with a mini-skirt. And no matter how much you try, you ain’t seeing up there so don’t bother to choose her, except for when your girlfriend plays.
Some lunky monster bloke that takes an age to get any moves off and makes stupid noises when you repeatedly kick him in his big slow face.
Moves:
Tekken has it correct, nice simple controls.
Street-Fighter? Bunch of old mans pant. I don’t want to rotate my directional-pad in a 360 direction whilst pressing 3 buttons and doing a handstand.
If I could pull off these combos, I’d be able to do that for real.
Rubbish.
And learning the combos is pointless, because your girlfriend can choose Nina Williams and just mash the keys randomly like a chimp using a calculator and still whup you 5 rounds straight.
Why doesn’t she respect the skill and trickery needed to pull off the 19-move death combo?
Because you don’t need it, that’s why.
And the one mate that uses one character, with one move all the bloody time.
Power-Ups
Now, I've seen a few fights and been unlucky to get into a couple, and I have NEVER seen anyone stand back and pause whilst they started to glow and tremble.
If I did, I'd run away faster than Ben Johnson in Boots.
I resent spending a good minute beating my opponent with rapid (yet strangely pants) kicks and chops, only for them to stand there and start to hum before annihaliting me in a burst of flame and then taunting me.
Respect the fighty games rules you cheaty punks.
Fighting Games are pants.
Not as much as Beardy RPG pants, but still pants.