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The proceeding text is not a guide to help idiots through life, but to help people live their lives in an idiotic way.
Meet Shaun, he has just been born to his mother, who has chosen to stay anonymous. He was 2 weeks premature and very underweight. His mother was forced to take care of Shaun solitarily when his father left, when Shaun was at the tender age of 3. He was a mischievous child and at the age of 5, he went to school, very reluctantly.
“Go to school son”, cries his mother.
“Do I have to, I don’t like these boys. Hey, why do some of them have long hair mummy?”, replies Shaun.
“Um, they are girls…I’ll talk to you later about that”.
“Ok…”
Shaun gets the best grades in his class but is continuously mocked for his intelligence. Shaun keeps this up to year 3, where something drastic affects his reputation. Shaun is walking home when a child from his class approaches him.
“Hey Boff”, shouts the child.
Shaun continues to walk, ignoring the child.
“Come here, smelly pants!”.
Shaun turns around.
“I can not believe the extent of your insolence!”
“Ooohhh, I’m so scared. What are you gonna do, kill me?”
The child walks up to Shaun and pushes him into the mud. He then piles snow on Shaun and kicks him until he is down. Shaun then ran back to his house and grabbed on of his PlayStation discs. He ran back out and followed the boy. He tapped the boy on the shoulder and backed up. He threw the disc at the child and the child fell to the floor.
“Oh god!”
Shaun checks the boy and to his horror, he has been decapitated.
”Nooooooooooo!”
Shaun runs away as fast as he can and gets to his house.
“Hello Shaun, how are you?”, asks his mother.
“Fine”.
Shaun runs straight to his room, ignoring his favourite meal that is on the table. He cries and goes to bed after a few hours. The next morning when he goes to school, the boy’s body is found. The police look for the killer and their only lead is a disc of the PlayStation game Ridge Racer found in the boy’s head, which was discovered 10 meters up the road from the body. Shaun keeps a brave face and does not crack under the pressure to tell everyone about his terrible crime.
6 Years Later…
Shaun is arrested by police for attempted murder and robbery. He was trying to rob a Special Reserve Computer Store in Chelmsford, when the owner of the store, Tony tried to apprehend the not-so smooth criminal. Shaun was going to shoot Tony but the police arrived in time and arrested Shaun.
Shaun is 18 years old now. He was freed 5 days ago. Tony coincidentally received a death threat yesterday.
Tony sued Shaun for £10,000 for damages.
Meet Shaun, he has just been born to his mother, who has chosen to stay anonymous. He was 2 weeks premature and very underweight. His mother was forced to take care of Shaun solitarily when his father left, when Shaun was at the tender age of 3. He was a mischievous child and at the age of 5, he went to school, very reluctantly.
“Go to school son”, cries his mother.
“Do I have to, I don’t like these boys. Hey, why do some of them have long hair mummy?”, replies Shaun.
“Um, they are girls…I’ll talk to you later about that”.
“Ok…”
Shaun gets the best grades in his class but is continuously mocked for his intelligence. Shaun keeps this up to year 3, where something drastic affects his reputation. Shaun is walking home when a child from his class approaches him.
“Hey Boff”, shouts the child.
Shaun continues to walk, ignoring the child.
“Come here, smelly pants!”.
Shaun turns around.
“I can not believe the extent of your insolence!”
“Ooohhh, I’m so scared. What are you gonna do, kill me?”
The child walks up to Shaun and pushes him into the mud. He then piles snow on Shaun and kicks him until he is down. Shaun then ran back to his house and grabbed on of his PlayStation discs. He ran back out and followed the boy. He tapped the boy on the shoulder and backed up. He threw the disc at the child and the child fell to the floor.
“Oh god!”
Shaun checks the boy and to his horror, he has been decapitated.
”Nooooooooooo!”
Shaun runs away as fast as he can and gets to his house.
“Hello Shaun, how are you?”, asks his mother.
“Fine”.
Shaun runs straight to his room, ignoring his favourite meal that is on the table. He cries and goes to bed after a few hours. The next morning when he goes to school, the boy’s body is found. The police look for the killer and their only lead is a disc of the PlayStation game Ridge Racer found in the boy’s head, which was discovered 10 meters up the road from the body. Shaun keeps a brave face and does not crack under the pressure to tell everyone about his terrible crime.
6 Years Later…
Shaun is arrested by police for attempted murder and robbery. He was trying to rob a Special Reserve Computer Store in Chelmsford, when the owner of the store, Tony tried to apprehend the not-so smooth criminal. Shaun was going to shoot Tony but the police arrived in time and arrested Shaun.
Shaun is 18 years old now. He was freed 5 days ago. Tony coincidentally received a death threat yesterday.
Tony sued Shaun for £10,000 for damages.
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no , i think thats what he would be saying !
Gross!
yeah !!! or in your case the parole officers shoe !
Indian-DudeY2K wrote:
> cool ! i rememeber that bruce willis did that in Water World
That was Kevin Costner by the way.
> cool ! i rememeber that bruce willis did that in Water World
That was Kevin Costner by the way.
Indian-DudeY2K wrote:
> cool ! i rememeber that bruce willis did that in Water World
Yeah, then he spat it out onto the plant.
> cool ! i rememeber that bruce willis did that in Water World
Yeah, then he spat it out onto the plant.
cool ! i rememeber that bruce willis did that in Water World
shaneo wrote:
> I refuse drink. Instead, I drink my own urine, very nutritious.
Now I'm scared!
> I refuse drink. Instead, I drink my own urine, very nutritious.
Now I'm scared!
phew !! those stores are so full of cheap stuff , i reckon he'll only charge you a tenner ! (i mean cheap in a good way !!)
Indian-DudeY2K wrote:
> shaneo wrote:
> After I put the gun to Tony's head, he was too
> scared to ban me. The
> police gave me a computer, after I
> threatened to continously have
> the hiccups for 34
> years.
oh my god !!! hicups for 34 years !!! dont they give you
> drinks in prison ??
I refuse drink. Instead, I drink my own urine, very nutritious.
> shaneo wrote:
> After I put the gun to Tony's head, he was too
> scared to ban me. The
> police gave me a computer, after I
> threatened to continously have
> the hiccups for 34
> years.
oh my god !!! hicups for 34 years !!! dont they give you
> drinks in prison ??
I refuse drink. Instead, I drink my own urine, very nutritious.
Oh and Tony only sued for emotional damage, not store damage. He has yet to hurt the rest of my wallet.
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