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Yes, once again it was one of those summer days - and prior to my previous conversation with a Playstation throwing old lady, I thought I'd continue my conversational saga and therefore talk to other beings.
This time, I found myself talking to.... a canine mutt, otherwise known as a dog.
It was one of the Yorkshire Terrier varieties, so you can imagine his or her little eyes gawping at me as I tried to talk to the thing (dog lovers were no doubt offended by that last comment). Anyway, this is how it went:
Me: Phew! It's hot out here today. And I just finished my Solero, too.
(I look around my surroundings)
Hmm, there appears to be no-one in sight. Oh well, I'll just have to...
(I notice the moving thing below me)
...oh, hello!
Dog: Woof!
Me: Hang on a sec, you're a dog. Why did I just say "hello" to a dog?
Dog: Woof, woof.
Me: Yep, this is going nowhere fast. Ho hum. Ah, a Yorkshire Terrier. You're a common breed, aren't you?
Dog: WOOF! WOOF!
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Shouldn't have said that you were common, should I? After all, every dog wants to prove its worth, and it's like a stab in the back when some human comes up to one and says something like that, eh?
Dog: WOOOF!!!!
Me: Indeed. Hang on, I just said sorry to a dog...
Dog: woof?
Me: ..hmm, I need more coffee... I wonder if dogs drink coffee? Oh wait, don't answer that.
Dog: Woof Woof.
Me: If you say so. But remember, the best ones come from the finest java coffee beans.
Dog: woof???
Me: Oh, never mind. So, and I know it's a bit pointless, but what do you think about computer games, Mr. Woofo?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: What? Um, how does Mrs. Woofo sound?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: Er, Ms. Woofo?
Dog; WOOF!
Me: Ah, cracked it finally. So, what do you think then?
Dog: Woof?
Me: Of computer games. Blimey, that's a short memory you have. Pff. The least you could do is respond in an educated manner.
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Me: Oooh, touchy.
Dog: Woof, woof woof woof woof woof wooof woof WOOF WOOF!!!!!
(All of a sudden, clouds form over the blue sky, and soon after, torrential rain falls onto the previously dry ground)
Me: Wha...? Did you just do that???
Dog: YES, AND IT'S WORSE THAN THAT, PUNY HUMAN FOOL. CURSES! For months on end, I have been forced to "woof" my way into this and that, woofing to reply to human questions that I can very well answer - but each time, I am forced to talk in this overly primitive language - or so you humans seem to think. BUT NO MORE! Now it it time for me for me to talk proper, starting with you!!
Me: Umm, you're not going to bite me now are you?
Dog: No.
Me: You still haven't answered my question though.
Dog: What was it about again?
Me: Hmm, you might be a talking dog, but when it comes to the crunch, you still have a pretty naff memory, eh?
Dog: Grr.
(Dog tugs on my jeans)
Me: OK, OK. I'll ask again. What do you think about computer games then?
Dog: Computer games?
(Dog looks puzzled)
Me: Or does your educated brain have no knowledge of the subject I'm talking about either?
Dog: Eh? Of course I do! I'm not stupid! Well, the thing about games is... that...
Me: Forgot what you were about to say?
Dog: Of course not! The thing about computer games is that... they're all so very addictive.
Me: I'm sorry... did you, a dog, just say that playing computer games are addictive? Haha!
Dog: Well, that's the problem, you see. Without hands, or useful paws, I'm limited to watching the game play and chewing controller pads. Not that tasty, either.
Me: I see. Haven't you ever considered... a rumble vest? You know, maybe a dog customized one?
Dog: What are you talking about? Humans will never appreciate us dogs, so they'll never make rumble vests for us.
Me: You never know... after all, they've made little hats for dogs already...
Dog: HATS!! Why, you really insult me, human.
Me: Can I ask a question?
Dog: You dare to ask ME, the TALKING DOG, a question?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Dog: Oh. Go ahead then.
Me: Are you house-trained?
Dog: I BEG YOUR PARDON???
Me: You heard me, freaky mutt.
Dog: How dare you insult me once again.... are you asking for a bite?
Me: Maybe at Mcdonald's, yes, but I've just finished a Solero a few minutes ago. How about later, eh?
Dog: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!
Me: Hmmm. Dogs don't usually say that.
Dog: Oh, just shut up, fool. To answer your question, yes, I am house trained, but not out of choice, you hear - as a talking dog, you must be fluent in the art of house training to be able to proceed with the likes of speech training.
Me: What? So there's a whole... doggy kingdom behind the scenes, being trained up just like in a doggy camp?
Dog: Something like that. But in much better conditions than your puny "armies", though.
Me: Fair enough.
Dog: So why did you ask me if I was house trained or not?
Me: Well, I had this idea that if you were house trained, than maybe you could have lessons in holding a controller and then - shock! maybe even using one properly.
Dog: Was that cheek I detected there?
Me: No, that was just another cat running across the park.
Dog: Why I ought to...
Me: Oh well - as a TALKING DOG, as you so nicely put it, you're too clever to be chasing cats, right?
Dog: Indeed.
Me: But still urging to bite me, eh?
(Talking Dog is getting even angrier)
Me: Come on, then, give it your best shot. What's the matter? Can't the talking dog bite?
Dog: That's it, human. You really do have some nerve, but there's a line not to be crossed, and I'm afraid you're over it, m'laddy!
(Dog attempts to bite my foot)
(I dodge the dog's attempt)
Me: Ha! Too slow, "clever" dog.
Dog: I've had it up to here (raises her paw up to her head) with you, human.
Me: What?? That's it? You don't get angry very easily, do you, woofy?
Dog: Don't call me that.
Me: It's nothing to be ashamed of, woofy.
Dog: I warned you, puny fool, and now it's time to pay the price!!!
Me: But I paid for my Solero, and we haven't even ordered anything from Mcdonald's yet; we haven't even arrived at McDonald's yet.
(Dog ignores my last reply, and howls a lot)
Me: Um, what did you just do then?
Dog: Heh, now who's the insecure one?
Me: I never said you were insecure. Although...
(All of a sudden, a pack of dogs come rushing towards me)
Me: Hmm. Is that for me or for you?
Dog: HAHAHAHA!!! Time to die, fool. Or at least be severely maimed.
( I look up into the sky)
Me: Um, it's raining a lot, isn't it? I think I'd better go home now.
Dog: CHARGE!!!
END CONVERSATION
So, as you can imagine, the first ever conversation with a dog ended on a sour note, and it seemed as though my fate had been sealed. Luckily though, as I ran to my heart's content, I remembered that what just took place was a FICTIONAL conversation. So in a calm and collected manner, I stopped the talking dog images - and surely enough, I was back in my room, holding a GBA in my hands.
As I wondered how I got myself from playing the GBA to thinking up a conversation with a talking dog, I looked at the GBA screen, and on it was the scene of a mad dog attacking Link.
This time, I found myself talking to.... a canine mutt, otherwise known as a dog.
It was one of the Yorkshire Terrier varieties, so you can imagine his or her little eyes gawping at me as I tried to talk to the thing (dog lovers were no doubt offended by that last comment). Anyway, this is how it went:
Me: Phew! It's hot out here today. And I just finished my Solero, too.
(I look around my surroundings)
Hmm, there appears to be no-one in sight. Oh well, I'll just have to...
(I notice the moving thing below me)
...oh, hello!
Dog: Woof!
Me: Hang on a sec, you're a dog. Why did I just say "hello" to a dog?
Dog: Woof, woof.
Me: Yep, this is going nowhere fast. Ho hum. Ah, a Yorkshire Terrier. You're a common breed, aren't you?
Dog: WOOF! WOOF!
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Shouldn't have said that you were common, should I? After all, every dog wants to prove its worth, and it's like a stab in the back when some human comes up to one and says something like that, eh?
Dog: WOOOF!!!!
Me: Indeed. Hang on, I just said sorry to a dog...
Dog: woof?
Me: ..hmm, I need more coffee... I wonder if dogs drink coffee? Oh wait, don't answer that.
Dog: Woof Woof.
Me: If you say so. But remember, the best ones come from the finest java coffee beans.
Dog: woof???
Me: Oh, never mind. So, and I know it's a bit pointless, but what do you think about computer games, Mr. Woofo?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: What? Um, how does Mrs. Woofo sound?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: Er, Ms. Woofo?
Dog; WOOF!
Me: Ah, cracked it finally. So, what do you think then?
Dog: Woof?
Me: Of computer games. Blimey, that's a short memory you have. Pff. The least you could do is respond in an educated manner.
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Me: Oooh, touchy.
Dog: Woof, woof woof woof woof woof wooof woof WOOF WOOF!!!!!
(All of a sudden, clouds form over the blue sky, and soon after, torrential rain falls onto the previously dry ground)
Me: Wha...? Did you just do that???
Dog: YES, AND IT'S WORSE THAN THAT, PUNY HUMAN FOOL. CURSES! For months on end, I have been forced to "woof" my way into this and that, woofing to reply to human questions that I can very well answer - but each time, I am forced to talk in this overly primitive language - or so you humans seem to think. BUT NO MORE! Now it it time for me for me to talk proper, starting with you!!
Me: Umm, you're not going to bite me now are you?
Dog: No.
Me: You still haven't answered my question though.
Dog: What was it about again?
Me: Hmm, you might be a talking dog, but when it comes to the crunch, you still have a pretty naff memory, eh?
Dog: Grr.
(Dog tugs on my jeans)
Me: OK, OK. I'll ask again. What do you think about computer games then?
Dog: Computer games?
(Dog looks puzzled)
Me: Or does your educated brain have no knowledge of the subject I'm talking about either?
Dog: Eh? Of course I do! I'm not stupid! Well, the thing about games is... that...
Me: Forgot what you were about to say?
Dog: Of course not! The thing about computer games is that... they're all so very addictive.
Me: I'm sorry... did you, a dog, just say that playing computer games are addictive? Haha!
Dog: Well, that's the problem, you see. Without hands, or useful paws, I'm limited to watching the game play and chewing controller pads. Not that tasty, either.
Me: I see. Haven't you ever considered... a rumble vest? You know, maybe a dog customized one?
Dog: What are you talking about? Humans will never appreciate us dogs, so they'll never make rumble vests for us.
Me: You never know... after all, they've made little hats for dogs already...
Dog: HATS!! Why, you really insult me, human.
Me: Can I ask a question?
Dog: You dare to ask ME, the TALKING DOG, a question?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Dog: Oh. Go ahead then.
Me: Are you house-trained?
Dog: I BEG YOUR PARDON???
Me: You heard me, freaky mutt.
Dog: How dare you insult me once again.... are you asking for a bite?
Me: Maybe at Mcdonald's, yes, but I've just finished a Solero a few minutes ago. How about later, eh?
Dog: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!
Me: Hmmm. Dogs don't usually say that.
Dog: Oh, just shut up, fool. To answer your question, yes, I am house trained, but not out of choice, you hear - as a talking dog, you must be fluent in the art of house training to be able to proceed with the likes of speech training.
Me: What? So there's a whole... doggy kingdom behind the scenes, being trained up just like in a doggy camp?
Dog: Something like that. But in much better conditions than your puny "armies", though.
Me: Fair enough.
Dog: So why did you ask me if I was house trained or not?
Me: Well, I had this idea that if you were house trained, than maybe you could have lessons in holding a controller and then - shock! maybe even using one properly.
Dog: Was that cheek I detected there?
Me: No, that was just another cat running across the park.
Dog: Why I ought to...
Me: Oh well - as a TALKING DOG, as you so nicely put it, you're too clever to be chasing cats, right?
Dog: Indeed.
Me: But still urging to bite me, eh?
(Talking Dog is getting even angrier)
Me: Come on, then, give it your best shot. What's the matter? Can't the talking dog bite?
Dog: That's it, human. You really do have some nerve, but there's a line not to be crossed, and I'm afraid you're over it, m'laddy!
(Dog attempts to bite my foot)
(I dodge the dog's attempt)
Me: Ha! Too slow, "clever" dog.
Dog: I've had it up to here (raises her paw up to her head) with you, human.
Me: What?? That's it? You don't get angry very easily, do you, woofy?
Dog: Don't call me that.
Me: It's nothing to be ashamed of, woofy.
Dog: I warned you, puny fool, and now it's time to pay the price!!!
Me: But I paid for my Solero, and we haven't even ordered anything from Mcdonald's yet; we haven't even arrived at McDonald's yet.
(Dog ignores my last reply, and howls a lot)
Me: Um, what did you just do then?
Dog: Heh, now who's the insecure one?
Me: I never said you were insecure. Although...
(All of a sudden, a pack of dogs come rushing towards me)
Me: Hmm. Is that for me or for you?
Dog: HAHAHAHA!!! Time to die, fool. Or at least be severely maimed.
( I look up into the sky)
Me: Um, it's raining a lot, isn't it? I think I'd better go home now.
Dog: CHARGE!!!
END CONVERSATION
So, as you can imagine, the first ever conversation with a dog ended on a sour note, and it seemed as though my fate had been sealed. Luckily though, as I ran to my heart's content, I remembered that what just took place was a FICTIONAL conversation. So in a calm and collected manner, I stopped the talking dog images - and surely enough, I was back in my room, holding a GBA in my hands.
As I wondered how I got myself from playing the GBA to thinking up a conversation with a talking dog, I looked at the GBA screen, and on it was the scene of a mad dog attacking Link.
Nice one EC. Anyone else? Read it, damn you!!
This is pretty funny.
Damn, it's conversation. With the "S". That's the second time I've made that mistake.
Yes, once again it was one of those summer days - and prior to my previous conversation with a Playstation throwing old lady, I thought I'd continue my conversational saga and therefore talk to other beings.
This time, I found myself talking to.... a canine mutt, otherwise known as a dog.
It was one of the Yorkshire Terrier varieties, so you can imagine his or her little eyes gawping at me as I tried to talk to the thing (dog lovers were no doubt offended by that last comment). Anyway, this is how it went:
Me: Phew! It's hot out here today. And I just finished my Solero, too.
(I look around my surroundings)
Hmm, there appears to be no-one in sight. Oh well, I'll just have to...
(I notice the moving thing below me)
...oh, hello!
Dog: Woof!
Me: Hang on a sec, you're a dog. Why did I just say "hello" to a dog?
Dog: Woof, woof.
Me: Yep, this is going nowhere fast. Ho hum. Ah, a Yorkshire Terrier. You're a common breed, aren't you?
Dog: WOOF! WOOF!
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Shouldn't have said that you were common, should I? After all, every dog wants to prove its worth, and it's like a stab in the back when some human comes up to one and says something like that, eh?
Dog: WOOOF!!!!
Me: Indeed. Hang on, I just said sorry to a dog...
Dog: woof?
Me: ..hmm, I need more coffee... I wonder if dogs drink coffee? Oh wait, don't answer that.
Dog: Woof Woof.
Me: If you say so. But remember, the best ones come from the finest java coffee beans.
Dog: woof???
Me: Oh, never mind. So, and I know it's a bit pointless, but what do you think about computer games, Mr. Woofo?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: What? Um, how does Mrs. Woofo sound?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: Er, Ms. Woofo?
Dog; WOOF!
Me: Ah, cracked it finally. So, what do you think then?
Dog: Woof?
Me: Of computer games. Blimey, that's a short memory you have. Pff. The least you could do is respond in an educated manner.
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Me: Oooh, touchy.
Dog: Woof, woof woof woof woof woof wooof woof WOOF WOOF!!!!!
(All of a sudden, clouds form over the blue sky, and soon after, torrential rain falls onto the previously dry ground)
Me: Wha...? Did you just do that???
Dog: YES, AND IT'S WORSE THAN THAT, PUNY HUMAN FOOL. CURSES! For months on end, I have been forced to "woof" my way into this and that, woofing to reply to human questions that I can very well answer - but each time, I am forced to talk in this overly primitive language - or so you humans seem to think. BUT NO MORE! Now it it time for me for me to talk proper, starting with you!!
Me: Umm, you're not going to bite me now are you?
Dog: No.
Me: You still haven't answered my question though.
Dog: What was it about again?
Me: Hmm, you might be a talking dog, but when it comes to the crunch, you still have a pretty naff memory, eh?
Dog: Grr.
(Dog tugs on my jeans)
Me: OK, OK. I'll ask again. What do you think about computer games then?
Dog: Computer games?
(Dog looks puzzled)
Me: Or does your educated brain have no knowledge of the subject I'm talking about either?
Dog: Eh? Of course I do! I'm not stupid! Well, the thing about games is... that...
Me: Forgot what you were about to say?
Dog: Of course not! The thing about computer games is that... they're all so very addictive.
Me: I'm sorry... did you, a dog, just say that playing computer games are addictive? Haha!
Dog: Well, that's the problem, you see. Without hands, or useful paws, I'm limited to watching the game play and chewing controller pads. Not that tasty, either.
Me: I see. Haven't you ever considered... a rumble vest? You know, maybe a dog customized one?
Dog: What are you talking about? Humans will never appreciate us dogs, so they'll never make rumble vests for us.
Me: You never know... after all, they've made little hats for dogs already...
Dog: HATS!! Why, you really insult me, human.
Me: Can I ask a question?
Dog: You dare to ask ME, the TALKING DOG, a question?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Dog: Oh. Go ahead then.
Me: Are you house-trained?
Dog: I BEG YOUR PARDON???
Me: You heard me, freaky mutt.
Dog: How dare you insult me once again.... are you asking for a bite?
Me: Maybe at Mcdonald's, yes, but I've just finished a Solero a few minutes ago. How about later, eh?
Dog: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!
Me: Hmmm. Dogs don't usually say that.
Dog: Oh, just shut up, fool. To answer your question, yes, I am house trained, but not out of choice, you hear - as a talking dog, you must be fluent in the art of house training to be able to proceed with the likes of speech training.
Me: What? So there's a whole... doggy kingdom behind the scenes, being trained up just like in a doggy camp?
Dog: Something like that. But in much better conditions than your puny "armies", though.
Me: Fair enough.
Dog: So why did you ask me if I was house trained or not?
Me: Well, I had this idea that if you were house trained, than maybe you could have lessons in holding a controller and then - shock! maybe even using one properly.
Dog: Was that cheek I detected there?
Me: No, that was just another cat running across the park.
Dog: Why I ought to...
Me: Oh well - as a TALKING DOG, as you so nicely put it, you're too clever to be chasing cats, right?
Dog: Indeed.
Me: But still urging to bite me, eh?
(Talking Dog is getting even angrier)
Me: Come on, then, give it your best shot. What's the matter? Can't the talking dog bite?
Dog: That's it, human. You really do have some nerve, but there's a line not to be crossed, and I'm afraid you're over it, m'laddy!
(Dog attempts to bite my foot)
(I dodge the dog's attempt)
Me: Ha! Too slow, "clever" dog.
Dog: I've had it up to here (raises her paw up to her head) with you, human.
Me: What?? That's it? You don't get angry very easily, do you, woofy?
Dog: Don't call me that.
Me: It's nothing to be ashamed of, woofy.
Dog: I warned you, puny fool, and now it's time to pay the price!!!
Me: But I paid for my Solero, and we haven't even ordered anything from Mcdonald's yet; we haven't even arrived at McDonald's yet.
(Dog ignores my last reply, and howls a lot)
Me: Um, what did you just do then?
Dog: Heh, now who's the insecure one?
Me: I never said you were insecure. Although...
(All of a sudden, a pack of dogs come rushing towards me)
Me: Hmm. Is that for me or for you?
Dog: HAHAHAHA!!! Time to die, fool. Or at least be severely maimed.
( I look up into the sky)
Me: Um, it's raining a lot, isn't it? I think I'd better go home now.
Dog: CHARGE!!!
END CONVERSATION
So, as you can imagine, the first ever conversation with a dog ended on a sour note, and it seemed as though my fate had been sealed. Luckily though, as I ran to my heart's content, I remembered that what just took place was a FICTIONAL conversation. So in a calm and collected manner, I stopped the talking dog images - and surely enough, I was back in my room, holding a GBA in my hands.
As I wondered how I got myself from playing the GBA to thinking up a conversation with a talking dog, I looked at the GBA screen, and on it was the scene of a mad dog attacking Link.
This time, I found myself talking to.... a canine mutt, otherwise known as a dog.
It was one of the Yorkshire Terrier varieties, so you can imagine his or her little eyes gawping at me as I tried to talk to the thing (dog lovers were no doubt offended by that last comment). Anyway, this is how it went:
Me: Phew! It's hot out here today. And I just finished my Solero, too.
(I look around my surroundings)
Hmm, there appears to be no-one in sight. Oh well, I'll just have to...
(I notice the moving thing below me)
...oh, hello!
Dog: Woof!
Me: Hang on a sec, you're a dog. Why did I just say "hello" to a dog?
Dog: Woof, woof.
Me: Yep, this is going nowhere fast. Ho hum. Ah, a Yorkshire Terrier. You're a common breed, aren't you?
Dog: WOOF! WOOF!
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Shouldn't have said that you were common, should I? After all, every dog wants to prove its worth, and it's like a stab in the back when some human comes up to one and says something like that, eh?
Dog: WOOOF!!!!
Me: Indeed. Hang on, I just said sorry to a dog...
Dog: woof?
Me: ..hmm, I need more coffee... I wonder if dogs drink coffee? Oh wait, don't answer that.
Dog: Woof Woof.
Me: If you say so. But remember, the best ones come from the finest java coffee beans.
Dog: woof???
Me: Oh, never mind. So, and I know it's a bit pointless, but what do you think about computer games, Mr. Woofo?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: What? Um, how does Mrs. Woofo sound?
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!
Me: Er, Ms. Woofo?
Dog; WOOF!
Me: Ah, cracked it finally. So, what do you think then?
Dog: Woof?
Me: Of computer games. Blimey, that's a short memory you have. Pff. The least you could do is respond in an educated manner.
Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Me: Oooh, touchy.
Dog: Woof, woof woof woof woof woof wooof woof WOOF WOOF!!!!!
(All of a sudden, clouds form over the blue sky, and soon after, torrential rain falls onto the previously dry ground)
Me: Wha...? Did you just do that???
Dog: YES, AND IT'S WORSE THAN THAT, PUNY HUMAN FOOL. CURSES! For months on end, I have been forced to "woof" my way into this and that, woofing to reply to human questions that I can very well answer - but each time, I am forced to talk in this overly primitive language - or so you humans seem to think. BUT NO MORE! Now it it time for me for me to talk proper, starting with you!!
Me: Umm, you're not going to bite me now are you?
Dog: No.
Me: You still haven't answered my question though.
Dog: What was it about again?
Me: Hmm, you might be a talking dog, but when it comes to the crunch, you still have a pretty naff memory, eh?
Dog: Grr.
(Dog tugs on my jeans)
Me: OK, OK. I'll ask again. What do you think about computer games then?
Dog: Computer games?
(Dog looks puzzled)
Me: Or does your educated brain have no knowledge of the subject I'm talking about either?
Dog: Eh? Of course I do! I'm not stupid! Well, the thing about games is... that...
Me: Forgot what you were about to say?
Dog: Of course not! The thing about computer games is that... they're all so very addictive.
Me: I'm sorry... did you, a dog, just say that playing computer games are addictive? Haha!
Dog: Well, that's the problem, you see. Without hands, or useful paws, I'm limited to watching the game play and chewing controller pads. Not that tasty, either.
Me: I see. Haven't you ever considered... a rumble vest? You know, maybe a dog customized one?
Dog: What are you talking about? Humans will never appreciate us dogs, so they'll never make rumble vests for us.
Me: You never know... after all, they've made little hats for dogs already...
Dog: HATS!! Why, you really insult me, human.
Me: Can I ask a question?
Dog: You dare to ask ME, the TALKING DOG, a question?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Dog: Oh. Go ahead then.
Me: Are you house-trained?
Dog: I BEG YOUR PARDON???
Me: You heard me, freaky mutt.
Dog: How dare you insult me once again.... are you asking for a bite?
Me: Maybe at Mcdonald's, yes, but I've just finished a Solero a few minutes ago. How about later, eh?
Dog: ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!
Me: Hmmm. Dogs don't usually say that.
Dog: Oh, just shut up, fool. To answer your question, yes, I am house trained, but not out of choice, you hear - as a talking dog, you must be fluent in the art of house training to be able to proceed with the likes of speech training.
Me: What? So there's a whole... doggy kingdom behind the scenes, being trained up just like in a doggy camp?
Dog: Something like that. But in much better conditions than your puny "armies", though.
Me: Fair enough.
Dog: So why did you ask me if I was house trained or not?
Me: Well, I had this idea that if you were house trained, than maybe you could have lessons in holding a controller and then - shock! maybe even using one properly.
Dog: Was that cheek I detected there?
Me: No, that was just another cat running across the park.
Dog: Why I ought to...
Me: Oh well - as a TALKING DOG, as you so nicely put it, you're too clever to be chasing cats, right?
Dog: Indeed.
Me: But still urging to bite me, eh?
(Talking Dog is getting even angrier)
Me: Come on, then, give it your best shot. What's the matter? Can't the talking dog bite?
Dog: That's it, human. You really do have some nerve, but there's a line not to be crossed, and I'm afraid you're over it, m'laddy!
(Dog attempts to bite my foot)
(I dodge the dog's attempt)
Me: Ha! Too slow, "clever" dog.
Dog: I've had it up to here (raises her paw up to her head) with you, human.
Me: What?? That's it? You don't get angry very easily, do you, woofy?
Dog: Don't call me that.
Me: It's nothing to be ashamed of, woofy.
Dog: I warned you, puny fool, and now it's time to pay the price!!!
Me: But I paid for my Solero, and we haven't even ordered anything from Mcdonald's yet; we haven't even arrived at McDonald's yet.
(Dog ignores my last reply, and howls a lot)
Me: Um, what did you just do then?
Dog: Heh, now who's the insecure one?
Me: I never said you were insecure. Although...
(All of a sudden, a pack of dogs come rushing towards me)
Me: Hmm. Is that for me or for you?
Dog: HAHAHAHA!!! Time to die, fool. Or at least be severely maimed.
( I look up into the sky)
Me: Um, it's raining a lot, isn't it? I think I'd better go home now.
Dog: CHARGE!!!
END CONVERSATION
So, as you can imagine, the first ever conversation with a dog ended on a sour note, and it seemed as though my fate had been sealed. Luckily though, as I ran to my heart's content, I remembered that what just took place was a FICTIONAL conversation. So in a calm and collected manner, I stopped the talking dog images - and surely enough, I was back in my room, holding a GBA in my hands.
As I wondered how I got myself from playing the GBA to thinking up a conversation with a talking dog, I looked at the GBA screen, and on it was the scene of a mad dog attacking Link.