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In a recent report following a Electronic Computer Entertainment Expo Bill Gates, CEO - Microsoft gave the following statement:
"Bloody Nintendo. They stole the show, again! I give up. I've actually decided to put my billions into the car industry. 'Micro-Machines', Which I had to fight very hard for in court, will make a range of cars to suit all users...
The cars will have Auto-Route Express 2002 built into the dash-board and Microsoft Engineers are already working on a few 'extra features' to put into the car."
An anonymous critic calling himself Er-No made the following point about the 'Micro-Machines'
"The cars main characteristics will be that:
For no reason whatsoever, the car will crash at least twice a day.
Occasionally, your car would die on the road for no reason what-so-ever... you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
Only one person at a time could ride in the car... unless of course you bought The MS 'NT-CAR'... Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was:
Powered by rubbish, the sun, wind and Nitrogen.
Seven times as fast.
Twice as easy to drive.
But it would only run on a small percentage of the roads.
The airbag system would ask for confirmation by saying 'Are you sure?' before saving your life."
Bill Gates has not issued a press statement as of yet, but this war is definitely only just beginning... It's Bill (Ions) Gates Vs. Er-No...
William Hill have already got odds on the table and already a Sheep, a Scotsman and The EIDOS WWTBAM Team have all put a Fiver on Er-No.
More as it Develops...
Game
"Bloody Nintendo. They stole the show, again! I give up. I've actually decided to put my billions into the car industry. 'Micro-Machines', Which I had to fight very hard for in court, will make a range of cars to suit all users...
The cars will have Auto-Route Express 2002 built into the dash-board and Microsoft Engineers are already working on a few 'extra features' to put into the car."
An anonymous critic calling himself Er-No made the following point about the 'Micro-Machines'
"The cars main characteristics will be that:
For no reason whatsoever, the car will crash at least twice a day.
Occasionally, your car would die on the road for no reason what-so-ever... you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
Only one person at a time could ride in the car... unless of course you bought The MS 'NT-CAR'... Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was:
Powered by rubbish, the sun, wind and Nitrogen.
Seven times as fast.
Twice as easy to drive.
But it would only run on a small percentage of the roads.
The airbag system would ask for confirmation by saying 'Are you sure?' before saving your life."
Bill Gates has not issued a press statement as of yet, but this war is definitely only just beginning... It's Bill (Ions) Gates Vs. Er-No...
William Hill have already got odds on the table and already a Sheep, a Scotsman and The EIDOS WWTBAM Team have all put a Fiver on Er-No.
More as it Develops...
Game
FM: Stylishly delivering borrowed information.
It wasn't copied... only compiled from an e-mail my friend sent me. I suppose I should have checked the jokes through a search engine, but what I did was no more than borrow information and deliver it in style!
Game: Borrowing Information and Delivering it in Style!
Game: Borrowing Information and Delivering it in Style!
Oh, damn. Er-no, do your "Windows is a 32bit OS for a 16bit shell..." thing again!
Turbonutter wrote:
> Nice one Game.
It was copied!
> Nice one Game.
It was copied!
Nice one Game.
Is Windows a virus?? Here's what viruses do:
1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So, Windows can't be a virus!!
1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So, Windows can't be a virus!!
Opps... sorry!
:D No really I am, but I am probably the person who knows all the Microsoft jokes!
:D No really I am, but I am probably the person who knows all the Microsoft jokes!
Well known only to a computer-mad anti-Microsoft freak who browses the internet 24 hours a day looking for ways to try and impress people by taking the mick out of Microsoft... yes.
Just Kidding.. :)
I was only making a story out of it for fun...
You didn't HAVE to copy and paste all the jokes from some jokes site completely killing my topic, but... seeing as you have, i'll just go and post somwhere else!
Game
Just Kidding.. :)
I was only making a story out of it for fun...
You didn't HAVE to copy and paste all the jokes from some jokes site completely killing my topic, but... seeing as you have, i'll just go and post somwhere else!
Game
Oi. All those Microsoft car jokes are already well known!
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year,instead of before.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
6. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).
10. New seats will force everyone to have the same size butt.
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year,instead of before.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
6. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).
10. New seats will force everyone to have the same size butt.
In a recent report following a Electronic Computer Entertainment Expo Bill Gates, CEO - Microsoft gave the following statement:
"Bloody Nintendo. They stole the show, again! I give up. I've actually decided to put my billions into the car industry. 'Micro-Machines', Which I had to fight very hard for in court, will make a range of cars to suit all users...
The cars will have Auto-Route Express 2002 built into the dash-board and Microsoft Engineers are already working on a few 'extra features' to put into the car."
An anonymous critic calling himself Er-No made the following point about the 'Micro-Machines'
"The cars main characteristics will be that:
For no reason whatsoever, the car will crash at least twice a day.
Occasionally, your car would die on the road for no reason what-so-ever... you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
Only one person at a time could ride in the car... unless of course you bought The MS 'NT-CAR'... Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was:
Powered by rubbish, the sun, wind and Nitrogen.
Seven times as fast.
Twice as easy to drive.
But it would only run on a small percentage of the roads.
The airbag system would ask for confirmation by saying 'Are you sure?' before saving your life."
Bill Gates has not issued a press statement as of yet, but this war is definitely only just beginning... It's Bill (Ions) Gates Vs. Er-No...
William Hill have already got odds on the table and already a Sheep, a Scotsman and The EIDOS WWTBAM Team have all put a Fiver on Er-No.
More as it Develops...
Game
"Bloody Nintendo. They stole the show, again! I give up. I've actually decided to put my billions into the car industry. 'Micro-Machines', Which I had to fight very hard for in court, will make a range of cars to suit all users...
The cars will have Auto-Route Express 2002 built into the dash-board and Microsoft Engineers are already working on a few 'extra features' to put into the car."
An anonymous critic calling himself Er-No made the following point about the 'Micro-Machines'
"The cars main characteristics will be that:
For no reason whatsoever, the car will crash at least twice a day.
Occasionally, your car would die on the road for no reason what-so-ever... you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
Only one person at a time could ride in the car... unless of course you bought The MS 'NT-CAR'... Then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was:
Powered by rubbish, the sun, wind and Nitrogen.
Seven times as fast.
Twice as easy to drive.
But it would only run on a small percentage of the roads.
The airbag system would ask for confirmation by saying 'Are you sure?' before saving your life."
Bill Gates has not issued a press statement as of yet, but this war is definitely only just beginning... It's Bill (Ions) Gates Vs. Er-No...
William Hill have already got odds on the table and already a Sheep, a Scotsman and The EIDOS WWTBAM Team have all put a Fiver on Er-No.
More as it Develops...
Game