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Friday 6th July
10:30 - Stanstead Airport
Ah! Two weeks in the sun. Tenerife, away from the pressure of work, Tony's demands and the Special Reserve forums. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. A VERY long time.
I just can't wait to get on that plane!
12:30 - On the plane, in flight.
I cannot believe my bad luck. I got on the plane, took a seat, and tried to forget about all things regarding Special Reserve. Only who should come and sit next to me on the plane?
Sniper.
Bloody Sniper. One of the people I was looking forward to getting away from most.
I've had to sit here for the past hour and a half, trying to work out exactly what the hell he's on about!
Honestly, I've gotten more sense out of a drunken leper, whose lips had fallen off during conversation...
Thankfully he's in the loo right now. He's been in there quite some time....
15:30 Tenerife Airport
Okay, we've landed, but we're not allowed to leave the airport. Sniper happened to suck himself down the loo, and we can't leave until all of the repercussions of this have been resolved. I keep telling the people here not to worry, because he'll be fine next time we see him, but no one seems to believe me.
21:30 Tenerife Airport
We're now waiting for the bus to take us to the hotel. We were only allowed to leave once Sniper walked into the airport, dripping wet, after his drop into the ocean. Some scientists here have taken him for some tests, so hopefully I've seen the last of him.
22:30 Hotel
I've checked into the hotel now. I didn't catch it's name on the way in, as it's late. I'm going to get some sleep, and check the place out tomorrow....
Saturday 7th July
12:30
Had a lie in until quite late, but that's normal for a saturday. I found out that this hotel is called "El Grixo" Why does that sound so familiar?
On a completely unrelated note, I've been invited to have dinner with the hotel owner this evening, a Mr Thraves. Again, strangely familiar, but I can't quite place it...
17:15
Had a lovely afternoon sat by the pool. I still feel too exhausted to check out the area, but I've got a couple of weeks!
Have to get ready for my dinner with the hotel owner. i wonder why he wants to eat with me?
23:30
All has been revealed!
You won't believe this, but this hotel is actually owned by Grix Thraves, special reserve forum notable! I bet you didn't see that one coming!
How bad is my luck? I want to get away from all things work related, and what happens, I find myself in a hotel owned by a notable! What are the chances of that?
I've put in for a transfer to a different hotel. I don't need reminders of work, I need a bloody break from it!
Sunday 8th July
11:30 I've been moved into another hotel, this one much nearer the beach. it's called Del Sol, and i've yet to see any links with SR whatsoever. Time to forget about it. I'm going to spend the afternoon on the beach!
16:30 I've got a golden glow all over my body. Did I ever catch the sun today! I'll be beating the women off when I hit the town later!
Monday 9th July
2:30 I'm going to get a gun, and I'm going to kill him.
I was in this bar, I'd necked half a dozen cocktails, and I was feeling great. I was out there on the dance-floor, srutting my stuff, trying to find a fit bird to get 'Snuggly' with, when who should walk in to the bar?
SHEEPY, that's who.
He came over, and started to talk to me, but as he too had had a drink too many, he was also looking for someone special.
Only it turns out that earlier that day, SHEEPY had been through the dip, and was covered in disinfectant.
As he gave be a huge hug when he first saw me, I too was covered in disinfectant.
All of the women stopped looking at me, all of my hard work, my charm, wasted because of SHEEPY.
Worse still, no cab driver would take me stinking like I did, and I've just had to walk all the way back to the hotel.
I need sleep, and certainlt don't intend to get out of bed before midday!
9:30
Why did I bring my mobile on holiday?
Why?
Am I that stupid?
I've just gotten off the phone with a furious Tony, asking where the hell I was. I reminded him I was on holiday, and he apologised and slammed the phone down!
Now I'm awake a good 3 hours earlier than planned, and have such a bad hangover that I'll never get back to sleep.
Damn!
12:30
Still got a bloody hangover.
20:00
Well this afternoon wasn't so bad. I was just sitting by the pool, when this gorgeous bird started chatting me up. We got on really well. Her name was Sandra, and we're going out for a meal later. If I play my cards right, I mind just get Snuggly tonight.
11:45 (on the loo!)
Damn freak!
If he thinks he's ever going to win Gameaday again, he can forget it!
Everything was going so well until he came along and spoiled it. I met up with Sandra, and we went for a drink first, in this lovely little bar, and she was clearly interested in me. We picked out this great little restaurant, and found ourselves a table with a beautiful view. The setting could not have been more perfect. Then disaster struck.
"Hi my names The Game, could I get you anything from the wine menu" came this voice from behind me. I didn't turn, as I feared he'd recognise me, and mumbled something about the house white. He trotted off, and I figured that I was in the clear for now, and I could ignore the fact that another SR regular was also in Tenerife at the same time as I.
Only The Game had recognised me, and took considerable offense to being ignored by me. It was only later, too late in fact, that I realised this, and that he'd carried out an awful act of revenge.
The damn freak must have slipped laxatives into my wine, and i had to keep visiting the loo. When I returned from my fourth trip Sandra has disappeared. Damn!
Tuesday 10th July
12:30 At last a day in which I didn't have to get out of bed until midday. Fantastic. Maybe things are starting to look up!
I'm going to the beach this afternoon, work a bit more on my tan!
17:15
Bad luck plagues me.
Why do I have such rotten luck?
I found myslef a nice spot on the beach this afternoon, and started to read.
Suddenly I felt the sun get blocked out, and looked up to see a huge beach ball in my face.
"Wanna play?" came the voice of a little child, that looked strangely familiar.
I really didn't need this right now, and told the odd kid to disappear, before I sorted him out.
Sure enough the kid disappeared, and I got back to sunning myslef and reading my book, until seconds later I again felt the cold chill of the sun beinh blocked out.
"My nephew says you swore at him." Came a voice that I feared. Wookiee Monster, a 7foot tall, beast, covered from head to toe in fur. He must have been cooking in this heat, and that was probably the only thing that saved me from having my arms pulled off! I got off lightly with a severe beating. No broken bones!
I'm not leaving this room for the rest of the day!
Wednesday 11th July
11:00
I was woken at an ungodly hour this morning by the hotel owner, he was shouting at me, swearing too, as I'd left a trail of blood all over the hotel. This verbal abuse continued for several minutes before it clicked. This man was none other than Dan2K1. Did everyone that had ever posted on SR live, work and holiday in Tenerife? It certainly seemed so!
Anyway, this conversation ended with me making arrangements to find somewhere else to stay, so i guess I'd better get packing.
21:45
Finally checked in to my latest hotel. This one's called Fantasy Island. i like the sound of that!
I'll give it a proper look tomorrow.
Thursday 12th July
13:15
This hotel is great! I've just been for a quick look round, and it has a fantastic swimming pool, and there's a bar too, on site, so I needn't go far tonight for adventure. Can't wait!
23:59
I thought I'd better get back to my room before midnight, the luck I'm having!
I thought I'd pull for sure tonight. I had these 4 lasses gathered around me, and I was buying all the drinks. They were all over me like a rash. It was a matter of picking the one that was going to get some Snuggly lovin' and getting her back to the room.
Or so I thought.
At first I thought it was some kind of joke. This bloke walked in, and all of the women, every last single one of them followed him. Right into a room marked 'private'. I asked what was going on, and was simply told that Mr Fantasy was in the house.
I decided more questions of this nature might give me nightmares, so I headed off to bed.
Friday 13th July
10:00
Just got out of bed. Took one glance at the calendar, and decided that i would get straight back into bed after writting this!
Saturday 14th July
8:45
I feel rested. The only day something bad didn't happen, was Friday the 13th!
Ha!
Maybe it's because I didn't get out of bed!
I'm going to do a bit of shopping later. Should be fun!
12:45
Wow! I just bought this really neat gadget. I'm not sure what it does yet, but apparently it can make you a more attractive person.
I bought it off a guy that used to be called Jimmy, but after discovering it's powers, he became New Jimmy.
Funny, I never stopped to ask him why, if he had the power of this gadget, was he selling them off so cheaply? I'm sure he had a good reason!
18:30
I'm off to the bar again tonight, but there's no way I'm taking that gadget I bought out with me! I was looking at it earlier, when it just started sparking, for no reason. First of all I thought that it was malfunctioning, but according to the guidebook, this is natural, and it's just building up it's energy. I can't bloody touch it without getting a shock though!
Sunday 15th July
14:45 Woah! What a late night, last night was! and I don't even have a hangover!
mind you, it wasn't exactly a great night to begin with, as it went much the same way as Thursday, with me attracting a host of women, and then all following this guy, like some kind of pied piper!
Again I was annoyed at this, so I knocked on that door marked 'Private'. And who should open it?
FantasyMeister, that's who! Apparently it was his hotel, and as a result, they were his women. But as he knew me I could happily join them for the rest of the night.
Unfortunately I didn't manage to get snuggly with anyone, as FantasyMeister was a little too generous with the drinks, and I was completely out of it! Not sure how I got back to my room!
18:45
Just had a lovely afternoon sat by the pool drinking cocktails. Fantastic stuff. This holiday seems to be turning out alright!
Monday 16th July
2:00 arrrgh!!!! Too muchhhhhh toooo drinkkkk again! Aw, I gotta gooo to the loooo......
9:30
Ouch! my head. I've got such a hangover that I can hardly write just how stupid I've been.
I only went and switched my mobile on last night, and just got a call from Tony asking why I hadn't been round to clip his toenails yet! After getting on to me for this, and the state of the forums, I reminded him that I was on holiday, and he apologised, called me a gibbon, then hung up.
Hang on, when did I make that earlier entry in todays diary? I don't remember that?
What ever happened last night?
22:30
What a terrible day.
I've been held captive in the back of a Fiat Uno all day, whilst it was driven around the streets at high speeds!
Why?
Turbonutter, that's why.
He told me that he'd just posted the best piece he'd ever written, and he was going to hold me captive until he had some king of gaurentee that he was going to win1
so I called Joe, and I called Tony, but they said that they couldn't rig such a thing, it would be dishonest, and it would only win if it was the best post of the day.
I knew Turbonutter wouldn't be plaesed by this, and I really didn't fancy rattling around in that boot again so I had to act fast.
I told him that they were giving away copies of GT3 as prizes at the local bingo! He was off and up there like a shot.
Unfortunately i was still in the boot, and have got the bumbs to prove it. When he parked up I managed to find the release catch and get out.
I wonder if he won anything at that bingo?
Tuesday 17th July
12:00
Another lie in. ind you I ache like hell, and for all the wrong reasons. Maybe a trip to the beach would cheer me up?
17:15
Why me?
I sat on the beach, away from that Wookiee freak, in a great spot under a palm tree, when this woman, a real stunner, came up to me and said "Please kind Sir, will you help me? I'll reward you kindl, if you know what I mean ;-)" Well as i hadn' had any Snuggly action on this holiday yet, it seemed like an offer I couldn't refuse to pass up, so I asked what the problem was.
"A dringo!" She said "A dringo ate my baby! Now it's coming for me!" I looked to where she was pointing, and sure enough there was a figure running through the sand, much like the way the blokes do in Baywatch, but no one watches the blokes run in Baywatch, so you won't really he able to visualise it. Maybe like te women run, but without the bounces. Oh and with some 'new' bounces.
Anyway, I realised that there were actually two figures, both coming this way. I grabbed this damsel in distress, and hopped onto a man-sized Space-Hopper, which just happened to be sitting there. I asked the young lady to cling on, and bounced across the sand. I was getting away from these two guys, who, the young lady told me, were called Edgy and Dringo.
Anyway, I thought we were clear, but looked to see where they were. They were still following! I looked in front of me, but it was too late to take any action as I bounced the hopper straight into a jagged rock. The Space Hopper popped, and I was thrown into the air. I landed with a thump, but seemed to be fine. The problem was when I stood up. I stubbed my toe on the rock! Man did that hurt! Edgy and Dringo found this so funny, that they were rolling on the floor with laughter, and they were captured by some men trained in such things.
I was now looking forward to my reward, and could forget about my pain once I got Snuggly.
"I said I'd reward you, and I will. Take me!" She said, before pointing to a particular palm tree "Over there. my husband will give you some money, that's a good enough reward..."
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!
Worse still, I can't go out tonight, because I've got to keep my toe bandaged!
Wednesday 18th July
12:45
Only two nights left, so I'd better make the most of them!
I'm going to get real tanked up tonight, and not worry about the consequences!
Friday 20th July
So I made it to the airport, just in time to catch my flight too!
What a crazy end, to a crazy holiday! I can't even remember half of it, probably the better half too! I'd better write down what I remember, before I forget it all!
I went out for some afternoon cocktails by the pool, had a bit of a swim, and was realy enjoying myself. Then I saw yet another bloody Special Reserve forum regular.
It was pb.
pb approached me and asked if I'd like to go for a few drinks at bar round the corner. i could see no reason not too!
We got to the bar, Armitage Shanks and Goatboy where there too, downing shots of tequila. I joined them in this for a while, and that's about all I remember until Thursay mid-afternoon, when I woke in a pool of my own vomit in a prison cell!
I demanded to speak to someone, but my own voice caused my whole head to cry out in pain. Eventually a rat-like man approached, and started yelling at me in Spanish. i didn't understand a word of it, but he sent me out with this mop, and bucket.
Well I was still very much so dazed and confused, and just wandered the streets for a bit. I wandered into this alley, and these guys shouted something I couldn't understand, and dragged me into this door.
I was pushed onto a stage and all of these women were cheering. Music started to play. It was music that I knew. Music that I loved. Most of all, to me it was stripping music.
I danced around that stage, my mop as my partner, and my bucket as my much smaller, fatter partner.
the crown were going wild as I flashed a little flesh.
They were crazy about me!
Unfortunately, I don't remember much more for a while!
One minute I was dancing around the stage, down to my undies, the next I wake up in this huge great bed. It was Friday morning, and I had to get back to the hotel and get my things, ready to catch my flight home.
I left the bedroom, flinging on clothes, (whose clothes I don't know, they weren't mine!) As I reached the front door 3 women dashed up to me. They clearly didn't want me to leave, but I couldn't understand a word they were saying. They were also all wearing these strange black and white outfits. I think they might have been nurses or something. I bet if I could remember what happened the night before it would have been fantasic.
I know for sure that it said on the sign outside "convento" so I'll look that word up in my Spanish translator, to see where I was. But for now my imagination tells me it was a wild night.
Oh, looks like it's time to board the plane. I can't wait to get back to the forums to tell everyone about my holiday!
Mind you, it's really left me feeling like i need another one!
10:30 - Stanstead Airport
Ah! Two weeks in the sun. Tenerife, away from the pressure of work, Tony's demands and the Special Reserve forums. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. A VERY long time.
I just can't wait to get on that plane!
12:30 - On the plane, in flight.
I cannot believe my bad luck. I got on the plane, took a seat, and tried to forget about all things regarding Special Reserve. Only who should come and sit next to me on the plane?
Sniper.
Bloody Sniper. One of the people I was looking forward to getting away from most.
I've had to sit here for the past hour and a half, trying to work out exactly what the hell he's on about!
Honestly, I've gotten more sense out of a drunken leper, whose lips had fallen off during conversation...
Thankfully he's in the loo right now. He's been in there quite some time....
15:30 Tenerife Airport
Okay, we've landed, but we're not allowed to leave the airport. Sniper happened to suck himself down the loo, and we can't leave until all of the repercussions of this have been resolved. I keep telling the people here not to worry, because he'll be fine next time we see him, but no one seems to believe me.
21:30 Tenerife Airport
We're now waiting for the bus to take us to the hotel. We were only allowed to leave once Sniper walked into the airport, dripping wet, after his drop into the ocean. Some scientists here have taken him for some tests, so hopefully I've seen the last of him.
22:30 Hotel
I've checked into the hotel now. I didn't catch it's name on the way in, as it's late. I'm going to get some sleep, and check the place out tomorrow....
Saturday 7th July
12:30
Had a lie in until quite late, but that's normal for a saturday. I found out that this hotel is called "El Grixo" Why does that sound so familiar?
On a completely unrelated note, I've been invited to have dinner with the hotel owner this evening, a Mr Thraves. Again, strangely familiar, but I can't quite place it...
17:15
Had a lovely afternoon sat by the pool. I still feel too exhausted to check out the area, but I've got a couple of weeks!
Have to get ready for my dinner with the hotel owner. i wonder why he wants to eat with me?
23:30
All has been revealed!
You won't believe this, but this hotel is actually owned by Grix Thraves, special reserve forum notable! I bet you didn't see that one coming!
How bad is my luck? I want to get away from all things work related, and what happens, I find myself in a hotel owned by a notable! What are the chances of that?
I've put in for a transfer to a different hotel. I don't need reminders of work, I need a bloody break from it!
Sunday 8th July
11:30 I've been moved into another hotel, this one much nearer the beach. it's called Del Sol, and i've yet to see any links with SR whatsoever. Time to forget about it. I'm going to spend the afternoon on the beach!
16:30 I've got a golden glow all over my body. Did I ever catch the sun today! I'll be beating the women off when I hit the town later!
Monday 9th July
2:30 I'm going to get a gun, and I'm going to kill him.
I was in this bar, I'd necked half a dozen cocktails, and I was feeling great. I was out there on the dance-floor, srutting my stuff, trying to find a fit bird to get 'Snuggly' with, when who should walk in to the bar?
SHEEPY, that's who.
He came over, and started to talk to me, but as he too had had a drink too many, he was also looking for someone special.
Only it turns out that earlier that day, SHEEPY had been through the dip, and was covered in disinfectant.
As he gave be a huge hug when he first saw me, I too was covered in disinfectant.
All of the women stopped looking at me, all of my hard work, my charm, wasted because of SHEEPY.
Worse still, no cab driver would take me stinking like I did, and I've just had to walk all the way back to the hotel.
I need sleep, and certainlt don't intend to get out of bed before midday!
9:30
Why did I bring my mobile on holiday?
Why?
Am I that stupid?
I've just gotten off the phone with a furious Tony, asking where the hell I was. I reminded him I was on holiday, and he apologised and slammed the phone down!
Now I'm awake a good 3 hours earlier than planned, and have such a bad hangover that I'll never get back to sleep.
Damn!
12:30
Still got a bloody hangover.
20:00
Well this afternoon wasn't so bad. I was just sitting by the pool, when this gorgeous bird started chatting me up. We got on really well. Her name was Sandra, and we're going out for a meal later. If I play my cards right, I mind just get Snuggly tonight.
11:45 (on the loo!)
Damn freak!
If he thinks he's ever going to win Gameaday again, he can forget it!
Everything was going so well until he came along and spoiled it. I met up with Sandra, and we went for a drink first, in this lovely little bar, and she was clearly interested in me. We picked out this great little restaurant, and found ourselves a table with a beautiful view. The setting could not have been more perfect. Then disaster struck.
"Hi my names The Game, could I get you anything from the wine menu" came this voice from behind me. I didn't turn, as I feared he'd recognise me, and mumbled something about the house white. He trotted off, and I figured that I was in the clear for now, and I could ignore the fact that another SR regular was also in Tenerife at the same time as I.
Only The Game had recognised me, and took considerable offense to being ignored by me. It was only later, too late in fact, that I realised this, and that he'd carried out an awful act of revenge.
The damn freak must have slipped laxatives into my wine, and i had to keep visiting the loo. When I returned from my fourth trip Sandra has disappeared. Damn!
Tuesday 10th July
12:30 At last a day in which I didn't have to get out of bed until midday. Fantastic. Maybe things are starting to look up!
I'm going to the beach this afternoon, work a bit more on my tan!
17:15
Bad luck plagues me.
Why do I have such rotten luck?
I found myslef a nice spot on the beach this afternoon, and started to read.
Suddenly I felt the sun get blocked out, and looked up to see a huge beach ball in my face.
"Wanna play?" came the voice of a little child, that looked strangely familiar.
I really didn't need this right now, and told the odd kid to disappear, before I sorted him out.
Sure enough the kid disappeared, and I got back to sunning myslef and reading my book, until seconds later I again felt the cold chill of the sun beinh blocked out.
"My nephew says you swore at him." Came a voice that I feared. Wookiee Monster, a 7foot tall, beast, covered from head to toe in fur. He must have been cooking in this heat, and that was probably the only thing that saved me from having my arms pulled off! I got off lightly with a severe beating. No broken bones!
I'm not leaving this room for the rest of the day!
Wednesday 11th July
11:00
I was woken at an ungodly hour this morning by the hotel owner, he was shouting at me, swearing too, as I'd left a trail of blood all over the hotel. This verbal abuse continued for several minutes before it clicked. This man was none other than Dan2K1. Did everyone that had ever posted on SR live, work and holiday in Tenerife? It certainly seemed so!
Anyway, this conversation ended with me making arrangements to find somewhere else to stay, so i guess I'd better get packing.
21:45
Finally checked in to my latest hotel. This one's called Fantasy Island. i like the sound of that!
I'll give it a proper look tomorrow.
Thursday 12th July
13:15
This hotel is great! I've just been for a quick look round, and it has a fantastic swimming pool, and there's a bar too, on site, so I needn't go far tonight for adventure. Can't wait!
23:59
I thought I'd better get back to my room before midnight, the luck I'm having!
I thought I'd pull for sure tonight. I had these 4 lasses gathered around me, and I was buying all the drinks. They were all over me like a rash. It was a matter of picking the one that was going to get some Snuggly lovin' and getting her back to the room.
Or so I thought.
At first I thought it was some kind of joke. This bloke walked in, and all of the women, every last single one of them followed him. Right into a room marked 'private'. I asked what was going on, and was simply told that Mr Fantasy was in the house.
I decided more questions of this nature might give me nightmares, so I headed off to bed.
Friday 13th July
10:00
Just got out of bed. Took one glance at the calendar, and decided that i would get straight back into bed after writting this!
Saturday 14th July
8:45
I feel rested. The only day something bad didn't happen, was Friday the 13th!
Ha!
Maybe it's because I didn't get out of bed!
I'm going to do a bit of shopping later. Should be fun!
12:45
Wow! I just bought this really neat gadget. I'm not sure what it does yet, but apparently it can make you a more attractive person.
I bought it off a guy that used to be called Jimmy, but after discovering it's powers, he became New Jimmy.
Funny, I never stopped to ask him why, if he had the power of this gadget, was he selling them off so cheaply? I'm sure he had a good reason!
18:30
I'm off to the bar again tonight, but there's no way I'm taking that gadget I bought out with me! I was looking at it earlier, when it just started sparking, for no reason. First of all I thought that it was malfunctioning, but according to the guidebook, this is natural, and it's just building up it's energy. I can't bloody touch it without getting a shock though!
Sunday 15th July
14:45 Woah! What a late night, last night was! and I don't even have a hangover!
mind you, it wasn't exactly a great night to begin with, as it went much the same way as Thursday, with me attracting a host of women, and then all following this guy, like some kind of pied piper!
Again I was annoyed at this, so I knocked on that door marked 'Private'. And who should open it?
FantasyMeister, that's who! Apparently it was his hotel, and as a result, they were his women. But as he knew me I could happily join them for the rest of the night.
Unfortunately I didn't manage to get snuggly with anyone, as FantasyMeister was a little too generous with the drinks, and I was completely out of it! Not sure how I got back to my room!
18:45
Just had a lovely afternoon sat by the pool drinking cocktails. Fantastic stuff. This holiday seems to be turning out alright!
Monday 16th July
2:00 arrrgh!!!! Too muchhhhhh toooo drinkkkk again! Aw, I gotta gooo to the loooo......
9:30
Ouch! my head. I've got such a hangover that I can hardly write just how stupid I've been.
I only went and switched my mobile on last night, and just got a call from Tony asking why I hadn't been round to clip his toenails yet! After getting on to me for this, and the state of the forums, I reminded him that I was on holiday, and he apologised, called me a gibbon, then hung up.
Hang on, when did I make that earlier entry in todays diary? I don't remember that?
What ever happened last night?
22:30
What a terrible day.
I've been held captive in the back of a Fiat Uno all day, whilst it was driven around the streets at high speeds!
Why?
Turbonutter, that's why.
He told me that he'd just posted the best piece he'd ever written, and he was going to hold me captive until he had some king of gaurentee that he was going to win1
so I called Joe, and I called Tony, but they said that they couldn't rig such a thing, it would be dishonest, and it would only win if it was the best post of the day.
I knew Turbonutter wouldn't be plaesed by this, and I really didn't fancy rattling around in that boot again so I had to act fast.
I told him that they were giving away copies of GT3 as prizes at the local bingo! He was off and up there like a shot.
Unfortunately i was still in the boot, and have got the bumbs to prove it. When he parked up I managed to find the release catch and get out.
I wonder if he won anything at that bingo?
Tuesday 17th July
12:00
Another lie in. ind you I ache like hell, and for all the wrong reasons. Maybe a trip to the beach would cheer me up?
17:15
Why me?
I sat on the beach, away from that Wookiee freak, in a great spot under a palm tree, when this woman, a real stunner, came up to me and said "Please kind Sir, will you help me? I'll reward you kindl, if you know what I mean ;-)" Well as i hadn' had any Snuggly action on this holiday yet, it seemed like an offer I couldn't refuse to pass up, so I asked what the problem was.
"A dringo!" She said "A dringo ate my baby! Now it's coming for me!" I looked to where she was pointing, and sure enough there was a figure running through the sand, much like the way the blokes do in Baywatch, but no one watches the blokes run in Baywatch, so you won't really he able to visualise it. Maybe like te women run, but without the bounces. Oh and with some 'new' bounces.
Anyway, I realised that there were actually two figures, both coming this way. I grabbed this damsel in distress, and hopped onto a man-sized Space-Hopper, which just happened to be sitting there. I asked the young lady to cling on, and bounced across the sand. I was getting away from these two guys, who, the young lady told me, were called Edgy and Dringo.
Anyway, I thought we were clear, but looked to see where they were. They were still following! I looked in front of me, but it was too late to take any action as I bounced the hopper straight into a jagged rock. The Space Hopper popped, and I was thrown into the air. I landed with a thump, but seemed to be fine. The problem was when I stood up. I stubbed my toe on the rock! Man did that hurt! Edgy and Dringo found this so funny, that they were rolling on the floor with laughter, and they were captured by some men trained in such things.
I was now looking forward to my reward, and could forget about my pain once I got Snuggly.
"I said I'd reward you, and I will. Take me!" She said, before pointing to a particular palm tree "Over there. my husband will give you some money, that's a good enough reward..."
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!
Worse still, I can't go out tonight, because I've got to keep my toe bandaged!
Wednesday 18th July
12:45
Only two nights left, so I'd better make the most of them!
I'm going to get real tanked up tonight, and not worry about the consequences!
Friday 20th July
So I made it to the airport, just in time to catch my flight too!
What a crazy end, to a crazy holiday! I can't even remember half of it, probably the better half too! I'd better write down what I remember, before I forget it all!
I went out for some afternoon cocktails by the pool, had a bit of a swim, and was realy enjoying myself. Then I saw yet another bloody Special Reserve forum regular.
It was pb.
pb approached me and asked if I'd like to go for a few drinks at bar round the corner. i could see no reason not too!
We got to the bar, Armitage Shanks and Goatboy where there too, downing shots of tequila. I joined them in this for a while, and that's about all I remember until Thursay mid-afternoon, when I woke in a pool of my own vomit in a prison cell!
I demanded to speak to someone, but my own voice caused my whole head to cry out in pain. Eventually a rat-like man approached, and started yelling at me in Spanish. i didn't understand a word of it, but he sent me out with this mop, and bucket.
Well I was still very much so dazed and confused, and just wandered the streets for a bit. I wandered into this alley, and these guys shouted something I couldn't understand, and dragged me into this door.
I was pushed onto a stage and all of these women were cheering. Music started to play. It was music that I knew. Music that I loved. Most of all, to me it was stripping music.
I danced around that stage, my mop as my partner, and my bucket as my much smaller, fatter partner.
the crown were going wild as I flashed a little flesh.
They were crazy about me!
Unfortunately, I don't remember much more for a while!
One minute I was dancing around the stage, down to my undies, the next I wake up in this huge great bed. It was Friday morning, and I had to get back to the hotel and get my things, ready to catch my flight home.
I left the bedroom, flinging on clothes, (whose clothes I don't know, they weren't mine!) As I reached the front door 3 women dashed up to me. They clearly didn't want me to leave, but I couldn't understand a word they were saying. They were also all wearing these strange black and white outfits. I think they might have been nurses or something. I bet if I could remember what happened the night before it would have been fantasic.
I know for sure that it said on the sign outside "convento" so I'll look that word up in my Spanish translator, to see where I was. But for now my imagination tells me it was a wild night.
Oh, looks like it's time to board the plane. I can't wait to get back to the forums to tell everyone about my holiday!
Mind you, it's really left me feeling like i need another one!
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I remember this
It never won and should have
*reads arguemnt with er-no and himself*
It never won and should have
*reads arguemnt with er-no and himself*
Reptar you utter chimp.
Heh, just using the search engine to search for "Snuggly" and I found this.
Great little story-type-thing, Meka. Couldn't help but pop it :-)
Great little story-type-thing, Meka. Couldn't help but pop it :-)
My dad's got a double barrel seven spray shotgun... its in the gun cabinet behind me, he has a strange license..
.but I dare ask if its real.
I once held the shotgun (not loaded), and damn its probably the most beautiful thing I have held after Sunny (well thats what I told her).... Its beautiful!
.but I dare ask if its real.
I once held the shotgun (not loaded), and damn its probably the most beautiful thing I have held after Sunny (well thats what I told her).... Its beautiful!
Right I've had my fun er-no... sorry :)
er-yes wrote:
> SHEEPY wrote:
> Soz er-no... well Sunny doesn't think your ugly,
> she told me last
> night :D oops ;)
Right thats it! If I ever
> see you I will actually shoot you. And this is not a
> joke!
Simple, my paintball gun meets Sheepy!
A paintball gun... thats PATHETIC
Use A Sniper Rifle, i know i you have one
> SHEEPY wrote:
> Soz er-no... well Sunny doesn't think your ugly,
> she told me last
> night :D oops ;)
Right thats it! If I ever
> see you I will actually shoot you. And this is not a
> joke!
Simple, my paintball gun meets Sheepy!
A paintball gun... thats PATHETIC
Use A Sniper Rifle, i know i you have one
SHEEPY wrote:
> Soz er-no... well Sunny doesn't think your ugly, she told me last
> night :D oops ;)
Right thats it! If I ever see you I will actually shoot you. And this is not a joke!
Simple, my paintball gun meets Sheepy!
> Soz er-no... well Sunny doesn't think your ugly, she told me last
> night :D oops ;)
Right thats it! If I ever see you I will actually shoot you. And this is not a joke!
Simple, my paintball gun meets Sheepy!
Soz er-no... well Sunny doesn't think your ugly, she told me last night :D oops ;)
SHEEPY wrote:
> Jealous of my beauty then? :D
I hope your not taking this
> seriously boyo!!!
Yes I do take it seriously!
Oh.. and that rob_skater guy seriously annoys me, he only posts reviews to win.. with only 9 posts in the forums and 14 reviews!!
I will kill him to!
> Jealous of my beauty then? :D
I hope your not taking this
> seriously boyo!!!
Yes I do take it seriously!
Oh.. and that rob_skater guy seriously annoys me, he only posts reviews to win.. with only 9 posts in the forums and 14 reviews!!
I will kill him to!
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