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I was bored on the train over the weekend, so i wrote this:
**************************
The lightning tore across the sky, its near blinding flash illuminating the countryside for a brief instant. Its brilliance lighting the room the boy was in, the open curtains letting the light show his face. In a moment it was gone, leaving the world to the blackness of the night, the only sounds that of the rain on the window.
Then it followed. The deep rumbling of thunder, not so much heard as felt through the ground. The air vibrating with the deep resonance that only nature can produce. Then, silence. The after effects of the thunder deafening out the sound of the rain. But only for a short while, until the steady, insistent patter of the rain on the glass is audible again.
The boy looked up from his computer screen, out of the window. It was dark already? But he'd only been working for a short while, hadn't he? He glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, its red digits reading 12.30 were the only illumination in the room, except for the screen behind him. 12.30? That couldn't be right, surely? He looked back at the monitor, at what he'd been working on. Ah yes, that was it. The animated diaries for the FoG forum regulars. All the notables were done, Meka, FM, Ant, er-no, SHEEPY and Sniper.
What time had he started? He'd been the only one in the house all evening, so it could have been any time. Another bolt of lightning scorched the sky, leaving white images in the boys eyes. The thunder that followed was closer this time, the rain was heavier as well, knocking harder against the window. His thoughts returned to his previous trail. If he'd been working all evening, when did he have dinner? Realisation dawned, he hadn't had any, which would explain his sudden hunger pang.
He decided to go down to the kitchen to get some food. The rain continued thrumming on the windows of the house. Lightning flashed again as he got up and walked towards the stairs, the thunder still lagging behind slightly, indicating the storm was not quite overhead. He was surprised at the storm. The weather forecast had said it would be rainy and stormy, it looked like they got it right for once. This thought put a smile on his face as he started down the stairs, not needing the light as he had walked the so many times before.
Halfway down he stopped dead. What was that noise? He whirled around on the stairs, nearly falling, just catching his balance at the last minute. He steadied himself and took a deep breath, and continued down, heart pounding. As he got to the bottom, lightning lit up the sky once more, thunder following almost instantly. The boy thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, in the kitchen. He looked over both shoulders, checking, then hurried along the hallway to the kitchen, towards where he had seen movement. Or had it been his imagination? He was alone in the house. Wasn't he?
Doubts flooded his mind as he took the last few steps to the doorway. He peeked around the doorframe, looking into the dark space in front of him. "Hello?" He called out, "Anyone there?". He jumped as the thunder rolled through the sky, arriving at the same time as the lightning. The storm was now right overhead, the rain the hardest it had been all evening, pummelling the house, trying to find a way in. A way in? Worry exploded through his mind. The doors, they were locked weren't they? He ran through the kitchen, nearly falling as he tripped in the dark, his need to get to the back door over-riding all sense of caution.
He was out of breath with worry and fear as he reached the back door, hand scrabbling for the key. His fingers couldn't feel it. Where was it? He was fumbling in the dark for it when the lightning came again. He looked down the length of the kitchen, and along the hallway, towards the front door. In the split second the lightning had illuminated he saw first one silhouette, then a second. They were approaching the door!
Fear gripped him, heart thumping so hard he thought it might come out of his chest. He couldn't see as the white after images of the lightning still burned his eyes as he continued to search for the key, fingers failing to find it. He felt hopeless as yet another bolt of lightning came. The two figures were almost at the door. He looked down, there was no key! Panic welled up inside him as he tried to turn the handle. It didn't move. The door was locked and there was no key! He slumped against the door, all hope gone and looked towards the front door as the two figures got ever closer.
He stood, frozen by his fear, as one of them reached up. He heard a key be inserted, then turned. The door opened, one of the figures reached out.....
Relief flooded through him as soon as the person had turned the light on.
"Mum? Dad!"
"Hello Grix, what are you doing up this late? Christ! What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Grix lowered his head, cheeks colouring in embarrassment.
"It's nothing, just my imagination."
**************************
The lightning tore across the sky, its near blinding flash illuminating the countryside for a brief instant. Its brilliance lighting the room the boy was in, the open curtains letting the light show his face. In a moment it was gone, leaving the world to the blackness of the night, the only sounds that of the rain on the window.
Then it followed. The deep rumbling of thunder, not so much heard as felt through the ground. The air vibrating with the deep resonance that only nature can produce. Then, silence. The after effects of the thunder deafening out the sound of the rain. But only for a short while, until the steady, insistent patter of the rain on the glass is audible again.
The boy looked up from his computer screen, out of the window. It was dark already? But he'd only been working for a short while, hadn't he? He glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, its red digits reading 12.30 were the only illumination in the room, except for the screen behind him. 12.30? That couldn't be right, surely? He looked back at the monitor, at what he'd been working on. Ah yes, that was it. The animated diaries for the FoG forum regulars. All the notables were done, Meka, FM, Ant, er-no, SHEEPY and Sniper.
What time had he started? He'd been the only one in the house all evening, so it could have been any time. Another bolt of lightning scorched the sky, leaving white images in the boys eyes. The thunder that followed was closer this time, the rain was heavier as well, knocking harder against the window. His thoughts returned to his previous trail. If he'd been working all evening, when did he have dinner? Realisation dawned, he hadn't had any, which would explain his sudden hunger pang.
He decided to go down to the kitchen to get some food. The rain continued thrumming on the windows of the house. Lightning flashed again as he got up and walked towards the stairs, the thunder still lagging behind slightly, indicating the storm was not quite overhead. He was surprised at the storm. The weather forecast had said it would be rainy and stormy, it looked like they got it right for once. This thought put a smile on his face as he started down the stairs, not needing the light as he had walked the so many times before.
Halfway down he stopped dead. What was that noise? He whirled around on the stairs, nearly falling, just catching his balance at the last minute. He steadied himself and took a deep breath, and continued down, heart pounding. As he got to the bottom, lightning lit up the sky once more, thunder following almost instantly. The boy thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, in the kitchen. He looked over both shoulders, checking, then hurried along the hallway to the kitchen, towards where he had seen movement. Or had it been his imagination? He was alone in the house. Wasn't he?
Doubts flooded his mind as he took the last few steps to the doorway. He peeked around the doorframe, looking into the dark space in front of him. "Hello?" He called out, "Anyone there?". He jumped as the thunder rolled through the sky, arriving at the same time as the lightning. The storm was now right overhead, the rain the hardest it had been all evening, pummelling the house, trying to find a way in. A way in? Worry exploded through his mind. The doors, they were locked weren't they? He ran through the kitchen, nearly falling as he tripped in the dark, his need to get to the back door over-riding all sense of caution.
He was out of breath with worry and fear as he reached the back door, hand scrabbling for the key. His fingers couldn't feel it. Where was it? He was fumbling in the dark for it when the lightning came again. He looked down the length of the kitchen, and along the hallway, towards the front door. In the split second the lightning had illuminated he saw first one silhouette, then a second. They were approaching the door!
Fear gripped him, heart thumping so hard he thought it might come out of his chest. He couldn't see as the white after images of the lightning still burned his eyes as he continued to search for the key, fingers failing to find it. He felt hopeless as yet another bolt of lightning came. The two figures were almost at the door. He looked down, there was no key! Panic welled up inside him as he tried to turn the handle. It didn't move. The door was locked and there was no key! He slumped against the door, all hope gone and looked towards the front door as the two figures got ever closer.
He stood, frozen by his fear, as one of them reached up. He heard a key be inserted, then turned. The door opened, one of the figures reached out.....
Relief flooded through him as soon as the person had turned the light on.
"Mum? Dad!"
"Hello Grix, what are you doing up this late? Christ! What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Grix lowered his head, cheeks colouring in embarrassment.
"It's nothing, just my imagination."
Glad everyone enjoyed it!
Thanks for all the compliments, makes it all worth while.
Thanks for all the compliments, makes it all worth while.
Superbly gripping YH, well done sonny jim.
Wow, very nice YH. Well written.
Wonderfully written, really. It's not often that you really get caught up emotionally in a few words, but when they're winded together... even so shortly, it's excellent.
Nothing to do with the story being about me either, I promise. :0)
Nothing to do with the story being about me either, I promise. :0)
Game, is that a compliment?
:-)
:-)
You'll be the next Dick Francis...
Thanks Meka, glad you enjoyed it!
Nice.
Great discriptive writing.
Enjoyed it.
Thanks! : )
Great discriptive writing.
Enjoyed it.
Thanks! : )
I was bored on the train over the weekend, so i wrote this:
**************************
The lightning tore across the sky, its near blinding flash illuminating the countryside for a brief instant. Its brilliance lighting the room the boy was in, the open curtains letting the light show his face. In a moment it was gone, leaving the world to the blackness of the night, the only sounds that of the rain on the window.
Then it followed. The deep rumbling of thunder, not so much heard as felt through the ground. The air vibrating with the deep resonance that only nature can produce. Then, silence. The after effects of the thunder deafening out the sound of the rain. But only for a short while, until the steady, insistent patter of the rain on the glass is audible again.
The boy looked up from his computer screen, out of the window. It was dark already? But he'd only been working for a short while, hadn't he? He glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, its red digits reading 12.30 were the only illumination in the room, except for the screen behind him. 12.30? That couldn't be right, surely? He looked back at the monitor, at what he'd been working on. Ah yes, that was it. The animated diaries for the FoG forum regulars. All the notables were done, Meka, FM, Ant, er-no, SHEEPY and Sniper.
What time had he started? He'd been the only one in the house all evening, so it could have been any time. Another bolt of lightning scorched the sky, leaving white images in the boys eyes. The thunder that followed was closer this time, the rain was heavier as well, knocking harder against the window. His thoughts returned to his previous trail. If he'd been working all evening, when did he have dinner? Realisation dawned, he hadn't had any, which would explain his sudden hunger pang.
He decided to go down to the kitchen to get some food. The rain continued thrumming on the windows of the house. Lightning flashed again as he got up and walked towards the stairs, the thunder still lagging behind slightly, indicating the storm was not quite overhead. He was surprised at the storm. The weather forecast had said it would be rainy and stormy, it looked like they got it right for once. This thought put a smile on his face as he started down the stairs, not needing the light as he had walked the so many times before.
Halfway down he stopped dead. What was that noise? He whirled around on the stairs, nearly falling, just catching his balance at the last minute. He steadied himself and took a deep breath, and continued down, heart pounding. As he got to the bottom, lightning lit up the sky once more, thunder following almost instantly. The boy thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, in the kitchen. He looked over both shoulders, checking, then hurried along the hallway to the kitchen, towards where he had seen movement. Or had it been his imagination? He was alone in the house. Wasn't he?
Doubts flooded his mind as he took the last few steps to the doorway. He peeked around the doorframe, looking into the dark space in front of him. "Hello?" He called out, "Anyone there?". He jumped as the thunder rolled through the sky, arriving at the same time as the lightning. The storm was now right overhead, the rain the hardest it had been all evening, pummelling the house, trying to find a way in. A way in? Worry exploded through his mind. The doors, they were locked weren't they? He ran through the kitchen, nearly falling as he tripped in the dark, his need to get to the back door over-riding all sense of caution.
He was out of breath with worry and fear as he reached the back door, hand scrabbling for the key. His fingers couldn't feel it. Where was it? He was fumbling in the dark for it when the lightning came again. He looked down the length of the kitchen, and along the hallway, towards the front door. In the split second the lightning had illuminated he saw first one silhouette, then a second. They were approaching the door!
Fear gripped him, heart thumping so hard he thought it might come out of his chest. He couldn't see as the white after images of the lightning still burned his eyes as he continued to search for the key, fingers failing to find it. He felt hopeless as yet another bolt of lightning came. The two figures were almost at the door. He looked down, there was no key! Panic welled up inside him as he tried to turn the handle. It didn't move. The door was locked and there was no key! He slumped against the door, all hope gone and looked towards the front door as the two figures got ever closer.
He stood, frozen by his fear, as one of them reached up. He heard a key be inserted, then turned. The door opened, one of the figures reached out.....
Relief flooded through him as soon as the person had turned the light on.
"Mum? Dad!"
"Hello Grix, what are you doing up this late? Christ! What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Grix lowered his head, cheeks colouring in embarrassment.
"It's nothing, just my imagination."
**************************
The lightning tore across the sky, its near blinding flash illuminating the countryside for a brief instant. Its brilliance lighting the room the boy was in, the open curtains letting the light show his face. In a moment it was gone, leaving the world to the blackness of the night, the only sounds that of the rain on the window.
Then it followed. The deep rumbling of thunder, not so much heard as felt through the ground. The air vibrating with the deep resonance that only nature can produce. Then, silence. The after effects of the thunder deafening out the sound of the rain. But only for a short while, until the steady, insistent patter of the rain on the glass is audible again.
The boy looked up from his computer screen, out of the window. It was dark already? But he'd only been working for a short while, hadn't he? He glanced at the clock on the other side of the room, its red digits reading 12.30 were the only illumination in the room, except for the screen behind him. 12.30? That couldn't be right, surely? He looked back at the monitor, at what he'd been working on. Ah yes, that was it. The animated diaries for the FoG forum regulars. All the notables were done, Meka, FM, Ant, er-no, SHEEPY and Sniper.
What time had he started? He'd been the only one in the house all evening, so it could have been any time. Another bolt of lightning scorched the sky, leaving white images in the boys eyes. The thunder that followed was closer this time, the rain was heavier as well, knocking harder against the window. His thoughts returned to his previous trail. If he'd been working all evening, when did he have dinner? Realisation dawned, he hadn't had any, which would explain his sudden hunger pang.
He decided to go down to the kitchen to get some food. The rain continued thrumming on the windows of the house. Lightning flashed again as he got up and walked towards the stairs, the thunder still lagging behind slightly, indicating the storm was not quite overhead. He was surprised at the storm. The weather forecast had said it would be rainy and stormy, it looked like they got it right for once. This thought put a smile on his face as he started down the stairs, not needing the light as he had walked the so many times before.
Halfway down he stopped dead. What was that noise? He whirled around on the stairs, nearly falling, just catching his balance at the last minute. He steadied himself and took a deep breath, and continued down, heart pounding. As he got to the bottom, lightning lit up the sky once more, thunder following almost instantly. The boy thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, in the kitchen. He looked over both shoulders, checking, then hurried along the hallway to the kitchen, towards where he had seen movement. Or had it been his imagination? He was alone in the house. Wasn't he?
Doubts flooded his mind as he took the last few steps to the doorway. He peeked around the doorframe, looking into the dark space in front of him. "Hello?" He called out, "Anyone there?". He jumped as the thunder rolled through the sky, arriving at the same time as the lightning. The storm was now right overhead, the rain the hardest it had been all evening, pummelling the house, trying to find a way in. A way in? Worry exploded through his mind. The doors, they were locked weren't they? He ran through the kitchen, nearly falling as he tripped in the dark, his need to get to the back door over-riding all sense of caution.
He was out of breath with worry and fear as he reached the back door, hand scrabbling for the key. His fingers couldn't feel it. Where was it? He was fumbling in the dark for it when the lightning came again. He looked down the length of the kitchen, and along the hallway, towards the front door. In the split second the lightning had illuminated he saw first one silhouette, then a second. They were approaching the door!
Fear gripped him, heart thumping so hard he thought it might come out of his chest. He couldn't see as the white after images of the lightning still burned his eyes as he continued to search for the key, fingers failing to find it. He felt hopeless as yet another bolt of lightning came. The two figures were almost at the door. He looked down, there was no key! Panic welled up inside him as he tried to turn the handle. It didn't move. The door was locked and there was no key! He slumped against the door, all hope gone and looked towards the front door as the two figures got ever closer.
He stood, frozen by his fear, as one of them reached up. He heard a key be inserted, then turned. The door opened, one of the figures reached out.....
Relief flooded through him as soon as the person had turned the light on.
"Mum? Dad!"
"Hello Grix, what are you doing up this late? Christ! What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Grix lowered his head, cheeks colouring in embarrassment.
"It's nothing, just my imagination."