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"Genesis - the FOG version..."

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Fri 06/07/01 at 14:17
Regular
Posts: 787
In the beginning there was a void, and God said "Let there be light!". And there was light, lots of the stuff. Now that he could see what he was doing, God created the Earth and all the plants and animals and seas and stuff, but he knew there was something missing.

"Angel Grix?" asked the Almighty.
"Yes, Almightiness?" responded Angel Grix.
"There's something....missing...."
"Well, your Magnificence, there's no gamers down there, and I know how much you like to play games."
God beamed at this.
"Are you saying I should create some gamers?" asked God.
"What an excellent idea your Holiness!" said Angel Grix.

And so God took some earth and fashioned a gamer in his own image, placing his new creation in the Garden of Special Reserve, where the gamer ran about playing games all day, to God's delight. But the gamer soon got bored, as he had noone else there to play with. And God noticed how his creation had become despondent and slothlike.

"Angel Grix?" asked the Almighty.
"Yes, Almightiness?" responded Angel Grix.
"There's something....missing...."
"Yes, your Magnificence, there's noone for your gamer to play with, and I know how much you like multi-player gaming."
God beamed at this.
"Are you saying I should create someone for the first gamer to play with?"
"What an excellent idea your Holiness!" said Angel Grix.

And so late that night, whilst the gamer slept, God appeared and removed one rib from the gamer's body, and fashioned it into a female gamer. The next morning, the gamer awoke, and went outside to see if he could find a game to play, and spied the female gamer.

"What are you?" said the gamer.
"I'm a gamer too!" said the female gamer, "What game would you like to play?"
The gamer smiled, for now he could finally have someone to play with, and he fired up his Colin McCrae Rally 2.0, and they sat down and began to play.

It soon became apparent however that the female gamer wasn't quite up to par with the male gamer's skill, and she quickly lost interest, as the male gamer had a competitive streak that had developed quicker then hers, and he wasn't willing to give her a chance to catch up. So she sought other things to do.

And whilst seeking, one day she came upon a tree in the middle of the Garden of Special Reserve, around which was coiled a venomous snake.

"Hello," said the snake, would you like an apple?
"I'm bored out of my mind," said the girl gamer, "So of course I'll have an apple, anything to relieve this tedium."

So the girl gamer partook of the said apple, and the whole of the knowledge of God came upon her, and her eyes were opened.

So she went back to the male gamer and said: "I have the answer!"
"Eh?"
"We're here to make babies!"
"EH?????"
"YES! Lots of them!"
"But, what's that got to do with gaming?"
"Grrrrrr...."

Angel Grix stepped up to God's throne as cautiously as he could and cleared his throat:

"! There appears to be a small problem in Paradise, my Lord" he hazarded.
"Angel Grix, I am infallible, how could there be a problem with my Creation?"
So Angel Grix told him. And God was displeased. He banished the two gamers and the snake from the Garden of Special Reserve with the following words:

"Snake, you shall henceforth be known as Meka Dragon, and your life will be spent slithering along the ground where you shall be trampled upon. You will spend your days converting my life story into gaming parables, to that others may share your slithery soliloquies and be inspired to play games and imitate them.

"Male gamer, you shall henceforth be known as FantasyMeister, and you shall spend your life in pain, because I am sending you to the land of Nintendo, and it will be your life's work to rescue the others from that land and bring them to the land of Sony.

As for you, Female gamer, what are you doing on Friday night?"
Fri 06/07/01 at 15:14
Regular
"Copyright: FM Inc."
Posts: 10,338
I'm one of the most modest people I know.

:-)
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:59
Regular
"Fishing For Reddies"
Posts: 4,986
Of course, I meant 'modesty'!
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:59
Regular
"Fishing For Reddies"
Posts: 4,986
...And levels of medesty to boot!
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:41
Regular
"Copyright: FM Inc."
Posts: 10,338
3) is actually spot on, but when you have levels of intelligence as large as mine, you just have to amuse yourself...
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:31
Regular
Posts: 23,216
FM humour. adj.

1) Style of humour; never serious: latches on to people, slides off others.
2) Descriptive; unlikely to be tasteful; all sort of -ism's may be regarded, and quickly disregarded soon after.
3) Usually the author finds it funnier than anyone else does. ;0)
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:22
Regular
"Eff, you see, kay?"
Posts: 14,156
Not as good as the last one but still great.
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:22
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Very good! Well done!
Fri 06/07/01 at 14:17
Regular
"Copyright: FM Inc."
Posts: 10,338
In the beginning there was a void, and God said "Let there be light!". And there was light, lots of the stuff. Now that he could see what he was doing, God created the Earth and all the plants and animals and seas and stuff, but he knew there was something missing.

"Angel Grix?" asked the Almighty.
"Yes, Almightiness?" responded Angel Grix.
"There's something....missing...."
"Well, your Magnificence, there's no gamers down there, and I know how much you like to play games."
God beamed at this.
"Are you saying I should create some gamers?" asked God.
"What an excellent idea your Holiness!" said Angel Grix.

And so God took some earth and fashioned a gamer in his own image, placing his new creation in the Garden of Special Reserve, where the gamer ran about playing games all day, to God's delight. But the gamer soon got bored, as he had noone else there to play with. And God noticed how his creation had become despondent and slothlike.

"Angel Grix?" asked the Almighty.
"Yes, Almightiness?" responded Angel Grix.
"There's something....missing...."
"Yes, your Magnificence, there's noone for your gamer to play with, and I know how much you like multi-player gaming."
God beamed at this.
"Are you saying I should create someone for the first gamer to play with?"
"What an excellent idea your Holiness!" said Angel Grix.

And so late that night, whilst the gamer slept, God appeared and removed one rib from the gamer's body, and fashioned it into a female gamer. The next morning, the gamer awoke, and went outside to see if he could find a game to play, and spied the female gamer.

"What are you?" said the gamer.
"I'm a gamer too!" said the female gamer, "What game would you like to play?"
The gamer smiled, for now he could finally have someone to play with, and he fired up his Colin McCrae Rally 2.0, and they sat down and began to play.

It soon became apparent however that the female gamer wasn't quite up to par with the male gamer's skill, and she quickly lost interest, as the male gamer had a competitive streak that had developed quicker then hers, and he wasn't willing to give her a chance to catch up. So she sought other things to do.

And whilst seeking, one day she came upon a tree in the middle of the Garden of Special Reserve, around which was coiled a venomous snake.

"Hello," said the snake, would you like an apple?
"I'm bored out of my mind," said the girl gamer, "So of course I'll have an apple, anything to relieve this tedium."

So the girl gamer partook of the said apple, and the whole of the knowledge of God came upon her, and her eyes were opened.

So she went back to the male gamer and said: "I have the answer!"
"Eh?"
"We're here to make babies!"
"EH?????"
"YES! Lots of them!"
"But, what's that got to do with gaming?"
"Grrrrrr...."

Angel Grix stepped up to God's throne as cautiously as he could and cleared his throat:

"! There appears to be a small problem in Paradise, my Lord" he hazarded.
"Angel Grix, I am infallible, how could there be a problem with my Creation?"
So Angel Grix told him. And God was displeased. He banished the two gamers and the snake from the Garden of Special Reserve with the following words:

"Snake, you shall henceforth be known as Meka Dragon, and your life will be spent slithering along the ground where you shall be trampled upon. You will spend your days converting my life story into gaming parables, to that others may share your slithery soliloquies and be inspired to play games and imitate them.

"Male gamer, you shall henceforth be known as FantasyMeister, and you shall spend your life in pain, because I am sending you to the land of Nintendo, and it will be your life's work to rescue the others from that land and bring them to the land of Sony.

As for you, Female gamer, what are you doing on Friday night?"

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