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Not long ago in the land of Formnia lived a man named Goatboy. Goatboy had been blessed with incredible fertility, and as a result he had 12 sons, named Meka, Grix, er-no, RBS, Game, DanUK, Ice Blaster, Armitage Shanks, Sniper, Time-Warp, Rakuga, and Wookiee.
As Wookiee was the youngest he was a clear favourite to Goatboy. Goatboy could not help but spoil his youngest son. One day he went out and bought a shiny new Playstation 2 for Wookiee, able to play DVDs and games, shown in many, many colours.
Wookiee's brothers were jealous of him, they were still playing on a second hand Sega Master System, capable of only 8 colours, and this saddened them. Wookiee did not help matters by telling his brothers of his dream:- One day all would bow down to him, and he would be the all time console champion.
Days later Wookiee sat playing SSX. His father sent him on an errand to see his brothers whilst they worked hard in the fields. For comfort Wookiee carried his PS2 under his arm with him. The thought of something happening to it, and it no longer being able to display so many colours was too terrible a possibility to take any risks.
Meka saw Wookiee approaching. "Here comes the dreamer" he said, through clenched teeth.
"Lets kill him!" Suggested Armitage Shanks "And end his dreams for good"
"Kill him, kill him, kill him" Chanted Game, frothing at the mouth.
"No" Said Grix, there are traders nearby, lets sell him!"
The brothers took the PS2 from him, and smashed it on the floor. Ice Blaster saw SHEEPY passing by, so slaughtered him, and covered the remains of the PS2 in blood.
They returned to their father, trying to look glum.
"This is all we found." Said grix, holding out the DVD tray, dripping with blood.
Goatboy sobbed for many moons.
**********
Good fortune fell upon Wookiee. The traders sold him on to work forTurbonutter, the captain of the guard in a nearby land. Wookiee was a loyal servant for many years, teaching the men to play games like they had never seen before. He bought happiness to the ranks, and Turbonutters wife had noticed this.
One night Mrs Turbonutter snuck into Wookiees bedroom, and stripped to her undies. Wookiee however was a faithful servant to Turbonutter, and would not betray him, despite his wife being a fox.
Furious at being rejected Mrs turbonutter claimed that Wookiee had tried to attack her. Loving and trusting his wife, Turbonutter threw Wookiee into jail.
Whilst in jail Wookiee diagnosed many of the other prisoners gaming problems. Bonus had approached him and told him of his problems in Zone of Enders, and of a dream of fish. Wookiee decided that the dream meant that Bonus would overcome his problems only with hard work.
M16 approached Wookiee telling of recurring dreams of darkness and light, and saving problems in Red Faction. Wookiee was brutally honest with M16, and told him that he would die, but would be reborn to play again.
Everything happened as Wookiee had predicted, but Wookiee remained imprisoned.
A few months later the great Pharaoh pb was suffering from terrible dreams. "Seven good games are scrapped for seven poor games, but the poor games do not become great, and seven innovative games are being replaced with seven clones, but they do not become innovative" These dreams distressed pb, but he could not figure out what they could possible mean.
Wise man after wise man was confused by pb's dreams. pb was at the end of his tether until he came across Bonus. Bonus told of how Wookiee had been predicting dreams and games from prison, so pb asked for Wookiee to be brought to him.
Wookie heard pb tell of his dreams. "It is as I have forseen it" said Wookiee "Seven years of gaming famine are to follow the recent glut of great games that we have had. The industry will be plunged into mediocrity, and people will abandon their consoles!"
pb was distressed to hear such news. Without top quality games his people would revolt! But it looked as though he might have the opportunity to do something about it. pb gave Wookiee the responsibility of looking over the industry, becoming a champion of consoles. His job was to encourage originality and innovation in the games that would keep the gamers happy and contented all around the land.
Months later the industry was booming again. Top quality games were being released for every console, and all of the games had many, many colours.
**********
Goatboy had heard that the 'champion of consoles' would be coming to forumnia. It was the top class games that he had supplied that had helped him come to terms with the grief of losing Wookiee, and his sons were thankful of the better quality games too.
They waited in the streets in arrival of the champion. As they saw his chariot come into view, they bowed down to him.
Goatboy was first to look up, and upon realising that his beloved Wookiee was still alive squealed with delight. tears of joy flowed, as Goatboy hugged his son. "You truely are the Champion of Consoles" he said.
As Wookiee was the youngest he was a clear favourite to Goatboy. Goatboy could not help but spoil his youngest son. One day he went out and bought a shiny new Playstation 2 for Wookiee, able to play DVDs and games, shown in many, many colours.
Wookiee's brothers were jealous of him, they were still playing on a second hand Sega Master System, capable of only 8 colours, and this saddened them. Wookiee did not help matters by telling his brothers of his dream:- One day all would bow down to him, and he would be the all time console champion.
Days later Wookiee sat playing SSX. His father sent him on an errand to see his brothers whilst they worked hard in the fields. For comfort Wookiee carried his PS2 under his arm with him. The thought of something happening to it, and it no longer being able to display so many colours was too terrible a possibility to take any risks.
Meka saw Wookiee approaching. "Here comes the dreamer" he said, through clenched teeth.
"Lets kill him!" Suggested Armitage Shanks "And end his dreams for good"
"Kill him, kill him, kill him" Chanted Game, frothing at the mouth.
"No" Said Grix, there are traders nearby, lets sell him!"
The brothers took the PS2 from him, and smashed it on the floor. Ice Blaster saw SHEEPY passing by, so slaughtered him, and covered the remains of the PS2 in blood.
They returned to their father, trying to look glum.
"This is all we found." Said grix, holding out the DVD tray, dripping with blood.
Goatboy sobbed for many moons.
**********
Good fortune fell upon Wookiee. The traders sold him on to work forTurbonutter, the captain of the guard in a nearby land. Wookiee was a loyal servant for many years, teaching the men to play games like they had never seen before. He bought happiness to the ranks, and Turbonutters wife had noticed this.
One night Mrs Turbonutter snuck into Wookiees bedroom, and stripped to her undies. Wookiee however was a faithful servant to Turbonutter, and would not betray him, despite his wife being a fox.
Furious at being rejected Mrs turbonutter claimed that Wookiee had tried to attack her. Loving and trusting his wife, Turbonutter threw Wookiee into jail.
Whilst in jail Wookiee diagnosed many of the other prisoners gaming problems. Bonus had approached him and told him of his problems in Zone of Enders, and of a dream of fish. Wookiee decided that the dream meant that Bonus would overcome his problems only with hard work.
M16 approached Wookiee telling of recurring dreams of darkness and light, and saving problems in Red Faction. Wookiee was brutally honest with M16, and told him that he would die, but would be reborn to play again.
Everything happened as Wookiee had predicted, but Wookiee remained imprisoned.
A few months later the great Pharaoh pb was suffering from terrible dreams. "Seven good games are scrapped for seven poor games, but the poor games do not become great, and seven innovative games are being replaced with seven clones, but they do not become innovative" These dreams distressed pb, but he could not figure out what they could possible mean.
Wise man after wise man was confused by pb's dreams. pb was at the end of his tether until he came across Bonus. Bonus told of how Wookiee had been predicting dreams and games from prison, so pb asked for Wookiee to be brought to him.
Wookie heard pb tell of his dreams. "It is as I have forseen it" said Wookiee "Seven years of gaming famine are to follow the recent glut of great games that we have had. The industry will be plunged into mediocrity, and people will abandon their consoles!"
pb was distressed to hear such news. Without top quality games his people would revolt! But it looked as though he might have the opportunity to do something about it. pb gave Wookiee the responsibility of looking over the industry, becoming a champion of consoles. His job was to encourage originality and innovation in the games that would keep the gamers happy and contented all around the land.
Months later the industry was booming again. Top quality games were being released for every console, and all of the games had many, many colours.
**********
Goatboy had heard that the 'champion of consoles' would be coming to forumnia. It was the top class games that he had supplied that had helped him come to terms with the grief of losing Wookiee, and his sons were thankful of the better quality games too.
They waited in the streets in arrival of the champion. As they saw his chariot come into view, they bowed down to him.
Goatboy was first to look up, and upon realising that his beloved Wookiee was still alive squealed with delight. tears of joy flowed, as Goatboy hugged his son. "You truely are the Champion of Consoles" he said.
Fog Bible Stories... I'm surprised someone hasn't threatened to kill you for your blasphemy yet. ;0)
So very enjoyable, thanks Meka.
So very enjoyable, thanks Meka.
That was brilliant, well done, but me stuck on Zone of the Enders?? That's what gave the game away.
Wookiee Hur!
I'm glad that a) I was a prominent character and b) My wife's a FOX!
I do hope you meant that in the non-animal sense!
I'm glad that a) I was a prominent character and b) My wife's a FOX!
I do hope you meant that in the non-animal sense!
At last my greatness is realised!
You will all bow down to me and send me your women!
;-)
Cheers MD, the cheque's in the post...
You will all bow down to me and send me your women!
;-)
Cheers MD, the cheque's in the post...
Damn, I was going to do '2001 A Game's Odessey' with the PS2 as the black monolith, but I don't think I'll bother now...
Not long ago in the land of Formnia lived a man named Goatboy. Goatboy had been blessed with incredible fertility, and as a result he had 12 sons, named Meka, Grix, er-no, RBS, Game, DanUK, Ice Blaster, Armitage Shanks, Sniper, Time-Warp, Rakuga, and Wookiee.
As Wookiee was the youngest he was a clear favourite to Goatboy. Goatboy could not help but spoil his youngest son. One day he went out and bought a shiny new Playstation 2 for Wookiee, able to play DVDs and games, shown in many, many colours.
Wookiee's brothers were jealous of him, they were still playing on a second hand Sega Master System, capable of only 8 colours, and this saddened them. Wookiee did not help matters by telling his brothers of his dream:- One day all would bow down to him, and he would be the all time console champion.
Days later Wookiee sat playing SSX. His father sent him on an errand to see his brothers whilst they worked hard in the fields. For comfort Wookiee carried his PS2 under his arm with him. The thought of something happening to it, and it no longer being able to display so many colours was too terrible a possibility to take any risks.
Meka saw Wookiee approaching. "Here comes the dreamer" he said, through clenched teeth.
"Lets kill him!" Suggested Armitage Shanks "And end his dreams for good"
"Kill him, kill him, kill him" Chanted Game, frothing at the mouth.
"No" Said Grix, there are traders nearby, lets sell him!"
The brothers took the PS2 from him, and smashed it on the floor. Ice Blaster saw SHEEPY passing by, so slaughtered him, and covered the remains of the PS2 in blood.
They returned to their father, trying to look glum.
"This is all we found." Said grix, holding out the DVD tray, dripping with blood.
Goatboy sobbed for many moons.
**********
Good fortune fell upon Wookiee. The traders sold him on to work forTurbonutter, the captain of the guard in a nearby land. Wookiee was a loyal servant for many years, teaching the men to play games like they had never seen before. He bought happiness to the ranks, and Turbonutters wife had noticed this.
One night Mrs Turbonutter snuck into Wookiees bedroom, and stripped to her undies. Wookiee however was a faithful servant to Turbonutter, and would not betray him, despite his wife being a fox.
Furious at being rejected Mrs turbonutter claimed that Wookiee had tried to attack her. Loving and trusting his wife, Turbonutter threw Wookiee into jail.
Whilst in jail Wookiee diagnosed many of the other prisoners gaming problems. Bonus had approached him and told him of his problems in Zone of Enders, and of a dream of fish. Wookiee decided that the dream meant that Bonus would overcome his problems only with hard work.
M16 approached Wookiee telling of recurring dreams of darkness and light, and saving problems in Red Faction. Wookiee was brutally honest with M16, and told him that he would die, but would be reborn to play again.
Everything happened as Wookiee had predicted, but Wookiee remained imprisoned.
A few months later the great Pharaoh pb was suffering from terrible dreams. "Seven good games are scrapped for seven poor games, but the poor games do not become great, and seven innovative games are being replaced with seven clones, but they do not become innovative" These dreams distressed pb, but he could not figure out what they could possible mean.
Wise man after wise man was confused by pb's dreams. pb was at the end of his tether until he came across Bonus. Bonus told of how Wookiee had been predicting dreams and games from prison, so pb asked for Wookiee to be brought to him.
Wookie heard pb tell of his dreams. "It is as I have forseen it" said Wookiee "Seven years of gaming famine are to follow the recent glut of great games that we have had. The industry will be plunged into mediocrity, and people will abandon their consoles!"
pb was distressed to hear such news. Without top quality games his people would revolt! But it looked as though he might have the opportunity to do something about it. pb gave Wookiee the responsibility of looking over the industry, becoming a champion of consoles. His job was to encourage originality and innovation in the games that would keep the gamers happy and contented all around the land.
Months later the industry was booming again. Top quality games were being released for every console, and all of the games had many, many colours.
**********
Goatboy had heard that the 'champion of consoles' would be coming to forumnia. It was the top class games that he had supplied that had helped him come to terms with the grief of losing Wookiee, and his sons were thankful of the better quality games too.
They waited in the streets in arrival of the champion. As they saw his chariot come into view, they bowed down to him.
Goatboy was first to look up, and upon realising that his beloved Wookiee was still alive squealed with delight. tears of joy flowed, as Goatboy hugged his son. "You truely are the Champion of Consoles" he said.
As Wookiee was the youngest he was a clear favourite to Goatboy. Goatboy could not help but spoil his youngest son. One day he went out and bought a shiny new Playstation 2 for Wookiee, able to play DVDs and games, shown in many, many colours.
Wookiee's brothers were jealous of him, they were still playing on a second hand Sega Master System, capable of only 8 colours, and this saddened them. Wookiee did not help matters by telling his brothers of his dream:- One day all would bow down to him, and he would be the all time console champion.
Days later Wookiee sat playing SSX. His father sent him on an errand to see his brothers whilst they worked hard in the fields. For comfort Wookiee carried his PS2 under his arm with him. The thought of something happening to it, and it no longer being able to display so many colours was too terrible a possibility to take any risks.
Meka saw Wookiee approaching. "Here comes the dreamer" he said, through clenched teeth.
"Lets kill him!" Suggested Armitage Shanks "And end his dreams for good"
"Kill him, kill him, kill him" Chanted Game, frothing at the mouth.
"No" Said Grix, there are traders nearby, lets sell him!"
The brothers took the PS2 from him, and smashed it on the floor. Ice Blaster saw SHEEPY passing by, so slaughtered him, and covered the remains of the PS2 in blood.
They returned to their father, trying to look glum.
"This is all we found." Said grix, holding out the DVD tray, dripping with blood.
Goatboy sobbed for many moons.
**********
Good fortune fell upon Wookiee. The traders sold him on to work forTurbonutter, the captain of the guard in a nearby land. Wookiee was a loyal servant for many years, teaching the men to play games like they had never seen before. He bought happiness to the ranks, and Turbonutters wife had noticed this.
One night Mrs Turbonutter snuck into Wookiees bedroom, and stripped to her undies. Wookiee however was a faithful servant to Turbonutter, and would not betray him, despite his wife being a fox.
Furious at being rejected Mrs turbonutter claimed that Wookiee had tried to attack her. Loving and trusting his wife, Turbonutter threw Wookiee into jail.
Whilst in jail Wookiee diagnosed many of the other prisoners gaming problems. Bonus had approached him and told him of his problems in Zone of Enders, and of a dream of fish. Wookiee decided that the dream meant that Bonus would overcome his problems only with hard work.
M16 approached Wookiee telling of recurring dreams of darkness and light, and saving problems in Red Faction. Wookiee was brutally honest with M16, and told him that he would die, but would be reborn to play again.
Everything happened as Wookiee had predicted, but Wookiee remained imprisoned.
A few months later the great Pharaoh pb was suffering from terrible dreams. "Seven good games are scrapped for seven poor games, but the poor games do not become great, and seven innovative games are being replaced with seven clones, but they do not become innovative" These dreams distressed pb, but he could not figure out what they could possible mean.
Wise man after wise man was confused by pb's dreams. pb was at the end of his tether until he came across Bonus. Bonus told of how Wookiee had been predicting dreams and games from prison, so pb asked for Wookiee to be brought to him.
Wookie heard pb tell of his dreams. "It is as I have forseen it" said Wookiee "Seven years of gaming famine are to follow the recent glut of great games that we have had. The industry will be plunged into mediocrity, and people will abandon their consoles!"
pb was distressed to hear such news. Without top quality games his people would revolt! But it looked as though he might have the opportunity to do something about it. pb gave Wookiee the responsibility of looking over the industry, becoming a champion of consoles. His job was to encourage originality and innovation in the games that would keep the gamers happy and contented all around the land.
Months later the industry was booming again. Top quality games were being released for every console, and all of the games had many, many colours.
**********
Goatboy had heard that the 'champion of consoles' would be coming to forumnia. It was the top class games that he had supplied that had helped him come to terms with the grief of losing Wookiee, and his sons were thankful of the better quality games too.
They waited in the streets in arrival of the champion. As they saw his chariot come into view, they bowed down to him.
Goatboy was first to look up, and upon realising that his beloved Wookiee was still alive squealed with delight. tears of joy flowed, as Goatboy hugged his son. "You truely are the Champion of Consoles" he said.