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Well, I'm currently writing a story. Although it's longer than I expected. Ten pages and I'm not even half way through. I'm not gonna be postig the full thing until it's finished, but I'm gonna pos tthe first little bit to whet your appetites. Enjoy!
********
The Plunder of Mt. Easesse
He laboured onwards. Past the yawning caves, past the haphazard cracks and past the river. Higher and higher he climbed trying to reach the mountains peak. His body was yearning for rest but he had to continue. He HAD to…
_________
It was slowing down, the wheel was stopping. Slower, slower, slower… it was going to land on his number! The pointer poised agonisingly on black 15... and then dropped over the edge to red 21.
"DAMN!" Exclaimed Grix as he slithered down the wall, head in his hands.
He’d had his last 20 quid riding on that game.
"Russian Roulette" he decided "Is crap"
His family had once been rich. His great – great - great – great - great – great Grandfather was a very rich man... at one point. He’d procured a massive fortune over his life. He’d left all his money to his son, Thricks, but something had happened, something that *persuaded* him to change his mind…
_________
His whole body ached. He was close to unconsciousness.
"NOOOOO!!!!!! I WON’T GIVE UP!" He cried at the top of his voice. He struggled on, up the mountain…
_________
On his way back to his flat, Grix tried to think of what to do. He had no money, he had no job, he had no family to leech off and very soon he’d have no home. From every angle he looked at it, the outcome was bleak, very bleak.
Grix was so enraptured by his thoughts he failed to see the shadowy figures that were coming toward him.
Those shadowy figures were not just any shadowy figures. They were the 4 founding members of the Apocalypse Boys.
_________
"If you’d have seen them, I’d have told you to leg it." Said Grix’s Brain to Grix.
"Yeah well, I didn’t see them did I? And you know why? Because you were keeping me in Deep Thought ya smegger" Replied Grix venomously.
"Look, what are we gonna do about this?" Asked Brain, quickly changing the subject.
Grix looked around the room he was locked in...
_________
He’d made it. After four days he’d finally made it. But his quest was far from over. He still had to...
_________
There was nothing in there. Nothing in his cell apart from two halves of a table and a tube of glue.
"C’mon then Mr.Smartass Brain. What the hell are we gonna do?"
"All right all right. Don’t fret. I’m working on it"
"Well work a bit faster, you know I’m claustrophobic.
_________
There! He could see it now. After a 3 hour search he’d finally found the little crack that he was looking for. Gently, he slid his fingers into the little crack and felt along its side. *click* He’d found the freeze. The crack widened. It widened just enough to allow a smallish man to pass through...
_________
"Got it!" Shouted Brain at last.
"Got what? A way to get out of here?" Questioned Grix excitedly.
"Yeah!!!!" Brain replied vehemently.
"Great, what do I do?"
"Stick the two halves of the table together to make a whole."
"Hey! That might just work!"
Grix grabbed the tube of glue and quickly applied it to the two halves of the table...
_________
Moving stealthily through complete darkness was not easy. That was the conclusion that he’d come to after being forced to try and do that.
He plodded on through the caverns and the twisting passages. He often found himself whether he should just give up now.
"No!" He cried, "I can’t quit, it has to be done!"
And so he carried on, through the seemingly eternal darkness...
_________
The light made his eyes throb. It was too bright for him. Shadowing his eyes from the dazzling light, Grix made his way down the street he found himself on. He knew exactly where he was going. He needed to find someone and he needed to find them quickly...
_________
2 days moving through the caverns hadn’t done much for his state of mind. But he was still sane enough to know what he was doing... just.
_________
"The myth is just that, a myth" said Ant in his rasping 98 year old voice."
"Ant, I NEED to know, I MUST know. It’s imperative that I find out. If I don’t, I’m deader than Side-Iron Flair’s" Replied Grix in a desperate voice.
"All - right." Wheezed Ant. "Sit down and I will tell you"
_________
He fell to the floor, barely alive.
He’d completed his task and was now free to die. The 8 day mission had worn him down... fatally. He was close to the end now, very close. At least he could die safe in the knowledge that he’d done his part. The rest was up to his descendants.
He breathed out... and didn’t breathe in again. The life of Aiesiee Thraves was over.
********
The Plunder of Mt. Easesse
He laboured onwards. Past the yawning caves, past the haphazard cracks and past the river. Higher and higher he climbed trying to reach the mountains peak. His body was yearning for rest but he had to continue. He HAD to…
_________
It was slowing down, the wheel was stopping. Slower, slower, slower… it was going to land on his number! The pointer poised agonisingly on black 15... and then dropped over the edge to red 21.
"DAMN!" Exclaimed Grix as he slithered down the wall, head in his hands.
He’d had his last 20 quid riding on that game.
"Russian Roulette" he decided "Is crap"
His family had once been rich. His great – great - great – great - great – great Grandfather was a very rich man... at one point. He’d procured a massive fortune over his life. He’d left all his money to his son, Thricks, but something had happened, something that *persuaded* him to change his mind…
_________
His whole body ached. He was close to unconsciousness.
"NOOOOO!!!!!! I WON’T GIVE UP!" He cried at the top of his voice. He struggled on, up the mountain…
_________
On his way back to his flat, Grix tried to think of what to do. He had no money, he had no job, he had no family to leech off and very soon he’d have no home. From every angle he looked at it, the outcome was bleak, very bleak.
Grix was so enraptured by his thoughts he failed to see the shadowy figures that were coming toward him.
Those shadowy figures were not just any shadowy figures. They were the 4 founding members of the Apocalypse Boys.
_________
"If you’d have seen them, I’d have told you to leg it." Said Grix’s Brain to Grix.
"Yeah well, I didn’t see them did I? And you know why? Because you were keeping me in Deep Thought ya smegger" Replied Grix venomously.
"Look, what are we gonna do about this?" Asked Brain, quickly changing the subject.
Grix looked around the room he was locked in...
_________
He’d made it. After four days he’d finally made it. But his quest was far from over. He still had to...
_________
There was nothing in there. Nothing in his cell apart from two halves of a table and a tube of glue.
"C’mon then Mr.Smartass Brain. What the hell are we gonna do?"
"All right all right. Don’t fret. I’m working on it"
"Well work a bit faster, you know I’m claustrophobic.
_________
There! He could see it now. After a 3 hour search he’d finally found the little crack that he was looking for. Gently, he slid his fingers into the little crack and felt along its side. *click* He’d found the freeze. The crack widened. It widened just enough to allow a smallish man to pass through...
_________
"Got it!" Shouted Brain at last.
"Got what? A way to get out of here?" Questioned Grix excitedly.
"Yeah!!!!" Brain replied vehemently.
"Great, what do I do?"
"Stick the two halves of the table together to make a whole."
"Hey! That might just work!"
Grix grabbed the tube of glue and quickly applied it to the two halves of the table...
_________
Moving stealthily through complete darkness was not easy. That was the conclusion that he’d come to after being forced to try and do that.
He plodded on through the caverns and the twisting passages. He often found himself whether he should just give up now.
"No!" He cried, "I can’t quit, it has to be done!"
And so he carried on, through the seemingly eternal darkness...
_________
The light made his eyes throb. It was too bright for him. Shadowing his eyes from the dazzling light, Grix made his way down the street he found himself on. He knew exactly where he was going. He needed to find someone and he needed to find them quickly...
_________
2 days moving through the caverns hadn’t done much for his state of mind. But he was still sane enough to know what he was doing... just.
_________
"The myth is just
"Ant, I NEED to know, I MUST know. It’s imperative that I find out. If I don’t, I’m deader than Side-Iron Flair’s" Replied Grix in a desperate voice.
"All -
_________
He fell to the floor, barely alive.
He’d completed his task and was now free to die. The 8 day mission had worn him down... fatally. He was close to the end now, very close. At least he could die safe in the knowledge that he’d done his part. The rest was up to his descendants.
He breathed out... and didn’t breathe in again. The life of Aiesiee Thraves was over.
Your Honour wrote:
> I was going to write the start to a new FoG story over the weekend,
> if no-one minds.
Probably post it on monday or tuesday. Unless
> some one else has one in the pipeline that is......
Yep, Go for it. Not sure how much time I'll have to add to it myself though...
> I was going to write the start to a new FoG story over the weekend,
> if no-one minds.
Probably post it on monday or tuesday. Unless
> some one else has one in the pipeline that is......
Yep, Go for it. Not sure how much time I'll have to add to it myself though...
That was pretty good RBS, I'm looking forward to the rest.
By the way everyone, don't stop the short stories just yet, I'm still writing the sequel to my Voices story!!
By the way everyone, don't stop the short stories just yet, I'm still writing the sequel to my Voices story!!
I was going to write the start to a new FoG story over the weekend, if no-one minds.
Probably post it on monday or tuesday. Unless some one else has one in the pipeline that is......
Probably post it on monday or tuesday. Unless some one else has one in the pipeline that is......
I really want to finish this short story I'm doing now Venom, and then I'll be ready when everyone else is.
We're being inundated (any misspelling there is intentional, Honest.) with short stories recently.
Anyone think it's about time a proper one started?
Anyone think it's about time a proper one started?
Grix Thraves wrote:
Nice start though...
Thanks.
I didn't
> realise my family was so large.
Hehehe, neither did I, but I needed a Foggite who i didn't know much about. So I chose you.. who no-one (bar Bonus and SR) knows anything about :-D
Nice start though...
Thanks.
I didn't
> realise my family was so large.
Hehehe, neither did I, but I needed a Foggite who i didn't know much about. So I chose you.. who no-one (bar Bonus and SR) knows anything about :-D
"Russian Roulette" he decided "Is crap"
(I couldn't agree more, especially with an automatic pistol. But with a roulette table, it isn't so bad.)
Nice start though... I didn't realise my family was so large.
(I couldn't agree more, especially with an automatic pistol. But with a roulette table, it isn't so bad.)
Nice start though... I didn't realise my family was so large.
The bit about chopping and changing too fast is intentional. Later on it changes dramactially and each section becomes two to three paragraphs long. The beggining bit and telling the two stories in short bursts is supposed to capture the readers attention and then get them thinking about Aiesie (Or however the hell you spell it) and Easesse.
The bit about it being good, thanks :-D
The bit about it being good, thanks :-D
It's good, but in my opinion each segment is too short. You're chopping and changing between the 2 different parts too quickly.
Apart from that it's good and i look forward to reading the rest.
Apart from that it's good and i look forward to reading the rest.
Well, I'm currently writing a story. Although it's longer than I expected. Ten pages and I'm not even half way through. I'm not gonna be postig the full thing until it's finished, but I'm gonna pos tthe first little bit to whet your appetites. Enjoy!
********
The Plunder of Mt. Easesse
He laboured onwards. Past the yawning caves, past the haphazard cracks and past the river. Higher and higher he climbed trying to reach the mountains peak. His body was yearning for rest but he had to continue. He HAD to…
_________
It was slowing down, the wheel was stopping. Slower, slower, slower… it was going to land on his number! The pointer poised agonisingly on black 15... and then dropped over the edge to red 21.
"DAMN!" Exclaimed Grix as he slithered down the wall, head in his hands.
He’d had his last 20 quid riding on that game.
"Russian Roulette" he decided "Is crap"
His family had once been rich. His great – great - great – great - great – great Grandfather was a very rich man... at one point. He’d procured a massive fortune over his life. He’d left all his money to his son, Thricks, but something had happened, something that *persuaded* him to change his mind…
_________
His whole body ached. He was close to unconsciousness.
"NOOOOO!!!!!! I WON’T GIVE UP!" He cried at the top of his voice. He struggled on, up the mountain…
_________
On his way back to his flat, Grix tried to think of what to do. He had no money, he had no job, he had no family to leech off and very soon he’d have no home. From every angle he looked at it, the outcome was bleak, very bleak.
Grix was so enraptured by his thoughts he failed to see the shadowy figures that were coming toward him.
Those shadowy figures were not just any shadowy figures. They were the 4 founding members of the Apocalypse Boys.
_________
"If you’d have seen them, I’d have told you to leg it." Said Grix’s Brain to Grix.
"Yeah well, I didn’t see them did I? And you know why? Because you were keeping me in Deep Thought ya smegger" Replied Grix venomously.
"Look, what are we gonna do about this?" Asked Brain, quickly changing the subject.
Grix looked around the room he was locked in...
_________
He’d made it. After four days he’d finally made it. But his quest was far from over. He still had to...
_________
There was nothing in there. Nothing in his cell apart from two halves of a table and a tube of glue.
"C’mon then Mr.Smartass Brain. What the hell are we gonna do?"
"All right all right. Don’t fret. I’m working on it"
"Well work a bit faster, you know I’m claustrophobic.
_________
There! He could see it now. After a 3 hour search he’d finally found the little crack that he was looking for. Gently, he slid his fingers into the little crack and felt along its side. *click* He’d found the freeze. The crack widened. It widened just enough to allow a smallish man to pass through...
_________
"Got it!" Shouted Brain at last.
"Got what? A way to get out of here?" Questioned Grix excitedly.
"Yeah!!!!" Brain replied vehemently.
"Great, what do I do?"
"Stick the two halves of the table together to make a whole."
"Hey! That might just work!"
Grix grabbed the tube of glue and quickly applied it to the two halves of the table...
_________
Moving stealthily through complete darkness was not easy. That was the conclusion that he’d come to after being forced to try and do that.
He plodded on through the caverns and the twisting passages. He often found himself whether he should just give up now.
"No!" He cried, "I can’t quit, it has to be done!"
And so he carried on, through the seemingly eternal darkness...
_________
The light made his eyes throb. It was too bright for him. Shadowing his eyes from the dazzling light, Grix made his way down the street he found himself on. He knew exactly where he was going. He needed to find someone and he needed to find them quickly...
_________
2 days moving through the caverns hadn’t done much for his state of mind. But he was still sane enough to know what he was doing... just.
_________
"The myth is just that, a myth" said Ant in his rasping 98 year old voice."
"Ant, I NEED to know, I MUST know. It’s imperative that I find out. If I don’t, I’m deader than Side-Iron Flair’s" Replied Grix in a desperate voice.
"All - right." Wheezed Ant. "Sit down and I will tell you"
_________
He fell to the floor, barely alive.
He’d completed his task and was now free to die. The 8 day mission had worn him down... fatally. He was close to the end now, very close. At least he could die safe in the knowledge that he’d done his part. The rest was up to his descendants.
He breathed out... and didn’t breathe in again. The life of Aiesiee Thraves was over.
********
The Plunder of Mt. Easesse
He laboured onwards. Past the yawning caves, past the haphazard cracks and past the river. Higher and higher he climbed trying to reach the mountains peak. His body was yearning for rest but he had to continue. He HAD to…
_________
It was slowing down, the wheel was stopping. Slower, slower, slower… it was going to land on his number! The pointer poised agonisingly on black 15... and then dropped over the edge to red 21.
"DAMN!" Exclaimed Grix as he slithered down the wall, head in his hands.
He’d had his last 20 quid riding on that game.
"Russian Roulette" he decided "Is crap"
His family had once been rich. His great – great - great – great - great – great Grandfather was a very rich man... at one point. He’d procured a massive fortune over his life. He’d left all his money to his son, Thricks, but something had happened, something that *persuaded* him to change his mind…
_________
His whole body ached. He was close to unconsciousness.
"NOOOOO!!!!!! I WON’T GIVE UP!" He cried at the top of his voice. He struggled on, up the mountain…
_________
On his way back to his flat, Grix tried to think of what to do. He had no money, he had no job, he had no family to leech off and very soon he’d have no home. From every angle he looked at it, the outcome was bleak, very bleak.
Grix was so enraptured by his thoughts he failed to see the shadowy figures that were coming toward him.
Those shadowy figures were not just any shadowy figures. They were the 4 founding members of the Apocalypse Boys.
_________
"If you’d have seen them, I’d have told you to leg it." Said Grix’s Brain to Grix.
"Yeah well, I didn’t see them did I? And you know why? Because you were keeping me in Deep Thought ya smegger" Replied Grix venomously.
"Look, what are we gonna do about this?" Asked Brain, quickly changing the subject.
Grix looked around the room he was locked in...
_________
He’d made it. After four days he’d finally made it. But his quest was far from over. He still had to...
_________
There was nothing in there. Nothing in his cell apart from two halves of a table and a tube of glue.
"C’mon then Mr.Smartass Brain. What the hell are we gonna do?"
"All right all right. Don’t fret. I’m working on it"
"Well work a bit faster, you know I’m claustrophobic.
_________
There! He could see it now. After a 3 hour search he’d finally found the little crack that he was looking for. Gently, he slid his fingers into the little crack and felt along its side. *click* He’d found the freeze. The crack widened. It widened just enough to allow a smallish man to pass through...
_________
"Got it!" Shouted Brain at last.
"Got what? A way to get out of here?" Questioned Grix excitedly.
"Yeah!!!!" Brain replied vehemently.
"Great, what do I do?"
"Stick the two halves of the table together to make a whole."
"Hey! That might just work!"
Grix grabbed the tube of glue and quickly applied it to the two halves of the table...
_________
Moving stealthily through complete darkness was not easy. That was the conclusion that he’d come to after being forced to try and do that.
He plodded on through the caverns and the twisting passages. He often found himself whether he should just give up now.
"No!" He cried, "I can’t quit, it has to be done!"
And so he carried on, through the seemingly eternal darkness...
_________
The light made his eyes throb. It was too bright for him. Shadowing his eyes from the dazzling light, Grix made his way down the street he found himself on. He knew exactly where he was going. He needed to find someone and he needed to find them quickly...
_________
2 days moving through the caverns hadn’t done much for his state of mind. But he was still sane enough to know what he was doing... just.
_________
"The myth is just
"Ant, I NEED to know, I MUST know. It’s imperative that I find out. If I don’t, I’m deader than Side-Iron Flair’s" Replied Grix in a desperate voice.
"All -
_________
He fell to the floor, barely alive.
He’d completed his task and was now free to die. The 8 day mission had worn him down... fatally. He was close to the end now, very close. At least he could die safe in the knowledge that he’d done his part. The rest was up to his descendants.
He breathed out... and didn’t breathe in again. The life of Aiesiee Thraves was over.