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An exerpt from the recently uncovered journal of Shadowmas notorious "Home improvement killer".....
Tuesday
What a day of disasters! After making soemtiny adjustements to my night vision goggles- the foolish things started flickering while I was trying to take a shower- I popped down to my local bookstore and bumped into Tony Brady who used to be in my art class at school. What a simpleton! I invited him back to the flat, killed him and am now using him as a coat stand.
Wednesday
I slept all day, waking only once to check my mail. I recieved a gas bill, a letter that I sent to myself asking me to marry me, and the latest edition of Alternative Wallpaper monthly, which had a step-by-step guide on how to make wallpaper from eyelids.
Thursday
After sanding down my dining room table with a shin, I nipped along to Wal-mart for some much needed supplies. I got some funny looks as I paraded the aisles in my goggles but once I had scrawled "Ray Ban" on them in HUMAN BLOOD everything was fine. I bought some nails for my nail gun, a hideously long loathsome knife, and a turnip for dinner.
Friday
Had afternoon tea with Legion. His rendition of "Livin' la vida loca" was outstanding.
Saturday
Mummy called and asked how I was getting on. I told her fine, then later realised I actually killed her and used her legs to roof the outhouse. I concluded that it must hve been someone else who had called, and not Mummy. Unless she was taunting me-from beyond the grave! (this admittedly is unlikely.)
Sunday
tried to watch TV despite cutting the electricity several months ago...failed.
Monday
Lost my goggles, and then couldn't find my way to the toilet in the dark. I was particulary uncomfortable for the rest of the day, especially when I accidentaly fell out of a fifth floor window thinking it was a door. Fortunately, I was able to find my way back upo to the flat by ripping off my dismembered leg and using it as a walking stick.
Tuesday
Found my goggles next to a "Bing Crosby sings christmas" LP and proceeded to reorganise my canary cabinet in alphabetical order starting with Abe, my oldest canary, and finishing with Wayne. Later, Milton T. Pike popped round for some tea and killing, and that night I dreamt of a daring and dastardly plan to take over the world! I also dreamt of fishies.
(;o|
Tuesday
What a day of disasters! After making soemtiny adjustements to my night vision goggles- the foolish things started flickering while I was trying to take a shower- I popped down to my local bookstore and bumped into Tony Brady who used to be in my art class at school. What a simpleton! I invited him back to the flat, killed him and am now using him as a coat stand.
Wednesday
I slept all day, waking only once to check my mail. I recieved a gas bill, a letter that I sent to myself asking me to marry me, and the latest edition of Alternative Wallpaper monthly, which had a step-by-step guide on how to make wallpaper from eyelids.
Thursday
After sanding down my dining room table with a shin, I nipped along to Wal-mart for some much needed supplies. I got some funny looks as I paraded the aisles in my goggles but once I had scrawled "Ray Ban" on them in HUMAN BLOOD everything was fine. I bought some nails for my nail gun, a hideously long loathsome knife, and a turnip for dinner.
Friday
Had afternoon tea with Legion. His rendition of "Livin' la vida loca" was outstanding.
Saturday
Mummy called and asked how I was getting on. I told her fine, then later realised I actually killed her and used her legs to roof the outhouse. I concluded that it must hve been someone else who had called, and not Mummy. Unless she was taunting me-from beyond the grave! (this admittedly is unlikely.)
Sunday
tried to watch TV despite cutting the electricity several months ago...failed.
Monday
Lost my goggles, and then couldn't find my way to the toilet in the dark. I was particulary uncomfortable for the rest of the day, especially when I accidentaly fell out of a fifth floor window thinking it was a door. Fortunately, I was able to find my way back upo to the flat by ripping off my dismembered leg and using it as a walking stick.
Tuesday
Found my goggles next to a "Bing Crosby sings christmas" LP and proceeded to reorganise my canary cabinet in alphabetical order starting with Abe, my oldest canary, and finishing with Wayne. Later, Milton T. Pike popped round for some tea and killing, and that night I dreamt of a daring and dastardly plan to take over the world! I also dreamt of fishies.
(;o|
POPAROONIE!
:)
:)
I remember reading this in N64 magazine. It was amusing then, and still is now. I WANT MY N64 BACK!!!!
Anyone else find this even remotly funny? Okay it is from N64 mag but it was on the last page and I know that most people don't actually read it.
:) Wahey. I have a link to the forums on my Neopets guild page.
:) Wahey. I have a link to the forums on my Neopets guild page.
American Psyco is a top read...
I think it's humerous to read diaries that have been written by maniacs like Avery Marx. Sooooo weird eh?
Anyway, I haven't played much Shadowman.
Anyway, I haven't played much Shadowman.
POP! Come on someone say something. Even if it is only critisism.
:(
:(
An exerpt from the recently uncovered journal of Shadowmas notorious "Home improvement killer".....
Tuesday
What a day of disasters! After making soemtiny adjustements to my night vision goggles- the foolish things started flickering while I was trying to take a shower- I popped down to my local bookstore and bumped into Tony Brady who used to be in my art class at school. What a simpleton! I invited him back to the flat, killed him and am now using him as a coat stand.
Wednesday
I slept all day, waking only once to check my mail. I recieved a gas bill, a letter that I sent to myself asking me to marry me, and the latest edition of Alternative Wallpaper monthly, which had a step-by-step guide on how to make wallpaper from eyelids.
Thursday
After sanding down my dining room table with a shin, I nipped along to Wal-mart for some much needed supplies. I got some funny looks as I paraded the aisles in my goggles but once I had scrawled "Ray Ban" on them in HUMAN BLOOD everything was fine. I bought some nails for my nail gun, a hideously long loathsome knife, and a turnip for dinner.
Friday
Had afternoon tea with Legion. His rendition of "Livin' la vida loca" was outstanding.
Saturday
Mummy called and asked how I was getting on. I told her fine, then later realised I actually killed her and used her legs to roof the outhouse. I concluded that it must hve been someone else who had called, and not Mummy. Unless she was taunting me-from beyond the grave! (this admittedly is unlikely.)
Sunday
tried to watch TV despite cutting the electricity several months ago...failed.
Monday
Lost my goggles, and then couldn't find my way to the toilet in the dark. I was particulary uncomfortable for the rest of the day, especially when I accidentaly fell out of a fifth floor window thinking it was a door. Fortunately, I was able to find my way back upo to the flat by ripping off my dismembered leg and using it as a walking stick.
Tuesday
Found my goggles next to a "Bing Crosby sings christmas" LP and proceeded to reorganise my canary cabinet in alphabetical order starting with Abe, my oldest canary, and finishing with Wayne. Later, Milton T. Pike popped round for some tea and killing, and that night I dreamt of a daring and dastardly plan to take over the world! I also dreamt of fishies.
(;o|
Tuesday
What a day of disasters! After making soemtiny adjustements to my night vision goggles- the foolish things started flickering while I was trying to take a shower- I popped down to my local bookstore and bumped into Tony Brady who used to be in my art class at school. What a simpleton! I invited him back to the flat, killed him and am now using him as a coat stand.
Wednesday
I slept all day, waking only once to check my mail. I recieved a gas bill, a letter that I sent to myself asking me to marry me, and the latest edition of Alternative Wallpaper monthly, which had a step-by-step guide on how to make wallpaper from eyelids.
Thursday
After sanding down my dining room table with a shin, I nipped along to Wal-mart for some much needed supplies. I got some funny looks as I paraded the aisles in my goggles but once I had scrawled "Ray Ban" on them in HUMAN BLOOD everything was fine. I bought some nails for my nail gun, a hideously long loathsome knife, and a turnip for dinner.
Friday
Had afternoon tea with Legion. His rendition of "Livin' la vida loca" was outstanding.
Saturday
Mummy called and asked how I was getting on. I told her fine, then later realised I actually killed her and used her legs to roof the outhouse. I concluded that it must hve been someone else who had called, and not Mummy. Unless she was taunting me-from beyond the grave! (this admittedly is unlikely.)
Sunday
tried to watch TV despite cutting the electricity several months ago...failed.
Monday
Lost my goggles, and then couldn't find my way to the toilet in the dark. I was particulary uncomfortable for the rest of the day, especially when I accidentaly fell out of a fifth floor window thinking it was a door. Fortunately, I was able to find my way back upo to the flat by ripping off my dismembered leg and using it as a walking stick.
Tuesday
Found my goggles next to a "Bing Crosby sings christmas" LP and proceeded to reorganise my canary cabinet in alphabetical order starting with Abe, my oldest canary, and finishing with Wayne. Later, Milton T. Pike popped round for some tea and killing, and that night I dreamt of a daring and dastardly plan to take over the world! I also dreamt of fishies.
(;o|