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"Goatboy's Ranting Again..."

Trawled round Blockbuster last night whilst waiting for my pizza, and noticed shelf after shelf of UK gangster films.
How original. How very original.
Starring some soap actor and comedian, another “gritty drama” made by someone that has never come any closer to criminals than watching The Bill twice.
But they continue to get made and clog the video shelves.
Utter, utter crap.

There is no British film industry. You can only get a film made if it’s a comedy with Hugh Grant or another wearisome gangster flick.
I spent 2 years trying to get funding for a script I wrote. Meetings with producers all over the place, and constantly head the same thing over and over “It needs more action. Perhaps a Vinnie Jones type character? Need guns”
Why?
Why do I need more guns? Why do I need to copy the last hit Brit movie?
Most suck…no, scrap that, they ALL suck.
Guy Ritchie…Guy Ritchie! Lock, Stock! Snatch! Those are good!

No, those are generic rip-offs from every Scorcese movie he’s ever watched, and with large chunks of dialogue lifted from Get Carter and The Long Good Friday.

So I touted my script round and round, applied for lottery funding, went to Arts Councils and had doors close in my face because “it needs guns or something”.
Rubbish.
Unimaginative, bland, same-old same-old tosh about criminals with heists that go wrong, criminals doing one last job before they can quit and blah blah blah.

So I sent out a mailshot to about 200 American Agents, giving a pitch for my script and left it.
Months went by, until I received one saying “I’d love to read your script, it sounds interesting”.

So, it takes an American to take notice of an English script that isn’t about guns and mockney gangsters.
This country is only interested in a film industry that can replicate last summers “surprise hit”, but only if it’s written by Guy Ritchie (who has married an American and makes movies with American stars now he can afford them) or has Hugh Grant in.
Tax relief is only offered to non-UK productions, to entice them over here. That isn’t right.
Why reward foreign movies, whilst strangulating our own home-grown industry?
So much talent is moving away from this country, because it’s not encouraged or nurtured. And I don’t blame them one little bit – why smash your face against a brick-wall, only to watch another crime flick get made and disappear?

But let’s not worry about that, Tomb Raider is out soon.
Creativity is too much hard work, let’s be spoon-fed something big and loud and go home happy eh?

No thanks.

you allways know when someone losses an arguement
because they resort to dissin your spelling

Alternating even numbers go
2
2
24
246
5
6
5
6
666

Be seeing you

I got a B in english so that'll do me
id like to know what you got in anything

It was wasn't it?

A believable, honest and interesting Brit flick.
Written by a Brit about situations we have all experienced.

It was interesting because it was about an area of life we all know, growing up.

Brit crime flicks suck because most Brits have never seen a gun, let alone been in a serious gang.

Lame rip-offs of US movies that will get made, be crap and rented by morons at Blockbuster becuase "Pulp Fiction" is out.

I remember Boston Kickout!

That was a fine movie.

Bingo Borgdrone.

I see fr!day, sorry, Corleone is still up to his same old schtick.

Mikey, dont feel bitter mate, Tomb Raider starts soon.
You can sit in the dark and imagine what a woman would say and do around you.

And then go about your business.

And if you read the posts, I'm doing rather well at it thanks.

fr1day wrote:
> superior beings live in space and i cant see you down there from all
> the way up here.
Your the talentless hack.
Thats why no one will
> touch your script cept for 1 oiut of 500+.
Youll allways be a
> no-one with a small opinion where as mine is all that matters to me
> bye now

Be seeing you


And your calling who a talentless hack????
Why should he worry when you can`t even spell.

You see there is a ` between can and the t, there is no such word as "oiut", Youll should be you`ll and allways is supposed to be spelt always.

And I won`t even start on layout, gramatical punctuation and general writing style...

superior beings live in space and i cant see you down there from all the way up here.
Your the talentless hack.
Thats why no one will touch your script cept for 1 oiut of 500+.
Youll allways be a no-one with a small opinion where as mine is all that matters to me bye now

Be seeing you

You are SOOOOO right, GoatBoy!!!!!!!!

I`m also thinking Guy Ritchie can`t make any other type of movie anyway!!!!

However, he is the ONLY person who can proberly make IN BED WITH MADONNA 2....

Thats if we could be bothered to watch it!

BORGDRONE wrote:
> Why is it you can count the best Brit gangster flicks on one hand?
>
Lack of talent...? NO
No decent locations....? NO
Serious
> lack of good material....? NO

Brit Gangster flicks on one hand because the genre is stale, unoriginal, been done a million times before, offers nothing new, every mini-Tarantino thinks he can do it and it ends up a mess.

We churn this crap out month after month because the people that make the choices in this country's industry are brainless cowards that would rather green-light another lame gangster film just because it has guns and swearing in, than take the time to find something new, original and interesting.

And this is from someone that has heard this crap for over two years, meeting after meeting with producers, companies, directors, agents. And the over-riding comment is "We're looking for a Guy Ritchie type thing"

Guy Bloody Ritchie.
That man has done more harm to the UK industry than good, now the ONLY movies that you will on the screen are mockney crime flicks with 2nd rate dialogue, old soul soundtracks and Ray Winstone.

There is not a lack of talent, there is a lack of imagination on the part of funding organisations and the writers.
Any punk teenager think "I know,I'll write a gangster film", when their life is about drinking, nightclubs and trying to score.
So they steal from other movies, and it ends up as complete and utter pants.

Love honour and obey:Pants
Bang Bang you're dead:Pants
Circus: Pants

It's just an easy thing to write, but nobody lives in that culture, so it rings false.

"Boston Kickout", set in Stevenage. About morons drinking and clubbing. Realistic and very good.

But the UK isn't interested in encouraging home grown talent, it wants to emulate Hollywood and sell it back to us.
And it doesnt work.
Unless your name is Richard Curtis, it takes years to get a script read.

And when someone does make it?
Get out and go to The States.

Danny Cannon made "Young Americans" and went off to make Judge Dredd.
Danny Boyle made "Shallow Grave" and "Trainspotting", then swanned off to make "The Beach".

Our actors go away because the material is not being let through over here.

So, we'll get more and more god awful criminal films and wade through them.

Why is it you can count the best Brit gangster flicks on one hand?
Lack of talent...? NO
No decent locations....? NO
Serious lack of good material....? NO

Its down to our poor Film industry which is in worse shape than your local NHS Trust!!!

And i bet this Labour Government, or for that matter any elected Government in this country, will continue to fail to support or recognise this outlet.

To be honest, we all winge and cringe at the mind-numbing array of big American blockbusters, but its a sad fact that the money they make allows their studios to back independant UK films like Lock Stock, and give them the audience they deserve.

I just wish for once it was OUR money and OUR film that gets all the praise...

I know.

I have a couple on the go, one that's under option (I get paid if it doesnt get made within 2 years).

1st step is an agent, let them bust their butt for you