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Ok, before you all try the Vulcan nerve-pinch or set your phasers to stun, take a breath and realise that this is a light-hearted poke at sci-fi buffs – so, on that note:
Why are you all so bloody scary?
Even casual Star Trek fans have to admit that there are some strange and lonely people out there.
Why Trek? What is it about this programme that draws sociopaths and deranged hair-cutting collectors the world over to conventions, web-sites etc?
Check out The Sun today, page 3 for a man that has turned his flat into a Trek ship replica.
And surprise surprise, his wife thought “This is scary” and left him.
But it seems to be sci-fi in general.
Buffy is rapidly turning into another one of those beacons for geeks and tower-snipers.
I’m not talking about fans that buy the box-sets and enjoy watching it.
I am talking about the kind of people I saw on the Big Breakfast this past week, at conventions dressed as characters, know more about the stars than the stars do and can answer any trivia question about someone that appeared as an extra.
I like Star Wars. LIKE it, I have the movies on video, but it stops there.
I don’t have any of the books or ship data plans (WHY? Why would anyone want these???).
But Buffy, Trek, X-Files…sci-fi seems to attract those that dwell in the darkness and weep at night because of the children pointing and laughing in the street.
Think that’s harsh?
Stop dressing like a Klingon then.
Just a suggestion, but if you take offence at people sniggering into their fists, don’t wear the outfits, speak a made-up language and wear those stupid pin-badges with “Away Team” on them.
Don’t be all scary and then take offence when we laugh and hide the sharp objects from you.
A few simple facts about Star Trek, from a non-obsessive, head scratching fan:
Bones WAS camper than the tv Batman at a camping conference.
Scotty was NOT Scottish, and he always, always made the ship work, despite his protestations.
Wrath of Khan was pants, it had Ricardo Montalban as the villain. This man lived on Fantasy Island and had a dwarf for a “life companion” that said “Zee plane! Zee plane!”
Kirk was not sexy, dangerous and risk-taking. He wore a rug, sucked his gut in and copped off with lots and lots of blue-skinned women. This is because he could never score with an earth-woman. (see TJ Hooker for proof)
Spock looked stupid with those ears.
IT WASN’T REAL
So, it makes no sense to learn Klingon or buy technical blueprint books.
This marks you out as a “trekkie” and open to insult, attack and nerve pinches.
This is indisputable fact.
And not to be taken seriously.
Calm down, put the phaser down and open your curtains, go out and buy Microsoft Train Simulator.
Why are you all so bloody scary?
Even casual Star Trek fans have to admit that there are some strange and lonely people out there.
Why Trek? What is it about this programme that draws sociopaths and deranged hair-cutting collectors the world over to conventions, web-sites etc?
Check out The Sun today, page 3 for a man that has turned his flat into a Trek ship replica.
And surprise surprise, his wife thought “This is scary” and left him.
But it seems to be sci-fi in general.
Buffy is rapidly turning into another one of those beacons for geeks and tower-snipers.
I’m not talking about fans that buy the box-sets and enjoy watching it.
I am talking about the kind of people I saw on the Big Breakfast this past week, at conventions dressed as characters, know more about the stars than the stars do and can answer any trivia question about someone that appeared as an extra.
I like Star Wars. LIKE it, I have the movies on video, but it stops there.
I don’t have any of the books or ship data plans (WHY? Why would anyone want these???).
But Buffy, Trek, X-Files…sci-fi seems to attract those that dwell in the darkness and weep at night because of the children pointing and laughing in the street.
Think that’s harsh?
Stop dressing like a Klingon then.
Just a suggestion, but if you take offence at people sniggering into their fists, don’t wear the outfits, speak a made-up language and wear those stupid pin-badges with “Away Team” on them.
Don’t be all scary and then take offence when we laugh and hide the sharp objects from you.
A few simple facts about Star Trek, from a non-obsessive, head scratching fan:
Bones WAS camper than the tv Batman at a camping conference.
Scotty was NOT Scottish, and he always, always made the ship work, despite his protestations.
Wrath of Khan was pants, it had Ricardo Montalban as the villain. This man lived on Fantasy Island and had a dwarf for a “life companion” that said “Zee plane! Zee plane!”
Kirk was not sexy, dangerous and risk-taking. He wore a rug, sucked his gut in and copped off with lots and lots of blue-skinned women. This is because he could never score with an earth-woman. (see TJ Hooker for proof)
Spock looked stupid with those ears.
IT WASN’T REAL
So, it makes no sense to learn Klingon or buy technical blueprint books.
This marks you out as a “trekkie” and open to insult, attack and nerve pinches.
This is indisputable fact.
And not to be taken seriously.
Calm down, put the phaser down and open your curtains, go out and buy Microsoft Train Simulator.
Yep.
The Monorail one with Leonard Nimoy is a good one also.
"Hey Spock, are you visiting us from the future?"
"Yes I am. And now I must leave you"
The Monorail one with Leonard Nimoy is a good one also.
"Hey Spock, are you visiting us from the future?"
"Yes I am. And now I must leave you"
I think that episode of The Simpsons sums it up perfectly.
Mayor Quimby, at a Sci-Fi convention: "Welcome to all voters, and the rest of you dateless wonders."
Great.
Mayor Quimby, at a Sci-Fi convention: "Welcome to all voters, and the rest of you dateless wonders."
Great.
Ok, before you all try the Vulcan nerve-pinch or set your phasers to stun, take a breath and realise that this is a light-hearted poke at sci-fi buffs – so, on that note:
Why are you all so bloody scary?
Even casual Star Trek fans have to admit that there are some strange and lonely people out there.
Why Trek? What is it about this programme that draws sociopaths and deranged hair-cutting collectors the world over to conventions, web-sites etc?
Check out The Sun today, page 3 for a man that has turned his flat into a Trek ship replica.
And surprise surprise, his wife thought “This is scary” and left him.
But it seems to be sci-fi in general.
Buffy is rapidly turning into another one of those beacons for geeks and tower-snipers.
I’m not talking about fans that buy the box-sets and enjoy watching it.
I am talking about the kind of people I saw on the Big Breakfast this past week, at conventions dressed as characters, know more about the stars than the stars do and can answer any trivia question about someone that appeared as an extra.
I like Star Wars. LIKE it, I have the movies on video, but it stops there.
I don’t have any of the books or ship data plans (WHY? Why would anyone want these???).
But Buffy, Trek, X-Files…sci-fi seems to attract those that dwell in the darkness and weep at night because of the children pointing and laughing in the street.
Think that’s harsh?
Stop dressing like a Klingon then.
Just a suggestion, but if you take offence at people sniggering into their fists, don’t wear the outfits, speak a made-up language and wear those stupid pin-badges with “Away Team” on them.
Don’t be all scary and then take offence when we laugh and hide the sharp objects from you.
A few simple facts about Star Trek, from a non-obsessive, head scratching fan:
Bones WAS camper than the tv Batman at a camping conference.
Scotty was NOT Scottish, and he always, always made the ship work, despite his protestations.
Wrath of Khan was pants, it had Ricardo Montalban as the villain. This man lived on Fantasy Island and had a dwarf for a “life companion” that said “Zee plane! Zee plane!”
Kirk was not sexy, dangerous and risk-taking. He wore a rug, sucked his gut in and copped off with lots and lots of blue-skinned women. This is because he could never score with an earth-woman. (see TJ Hooker for proof)
Spock looked stupid with those ears.
IT WASN’T REAL
So, it makes no sense to learn Klingon or buy technical blueprint books.
This marks you out as a “trekkie” and open to insult, attack and nerve pinches.
This is indisputable fact.
And not to be taken seriously.
Calm down, put the phaser down and open your curtains, go out and buy Microsoft Train Simulator.
Why are you all so bloody scary?
Even casual Star Trek fans have to admit that there are some strange and lonely people out there.
Why Trek? What is it about this programme that draws sociopaths and deranged hair-cutting collectors the world over to conventions, web-sites etc?
Check out The Sun today, page 3 for a man that has turned his flat into a Trek ship replica.
And surprise surprise, his wife thought “This is scary” and left him.
But it seems to be sci-fi in general.
Buffy is rapidly turning into another one of those beacons for geeks and tower-snipers.
I’m not talking about fans that buy the box-sets and enjoy watching it.
I am talking about the kind of people I saw on the Big Breakfast this past week, at conventions dressed as characters, know more about the stars than the stars do and can answer any trivia question about someone that appeared as an extra.
I like Star Wars. LIKE it, I have the movies on video, but it stops there.
I don’t have any of the books or ship data plans (WHY? Why would anyone want these???).
But Buffy, Trek, X-Files…sci-fi seems to attract those that dwell in the darkness and weep at night because of the children pointing and laughing in the street.
Think that’s harsh?
Stop dressing like a Klingon then.
Just a suggestion, but if you take offence at people sniggering into their fists, don’t wear the outfits, speak a made-up language and wear those stupid pin-badges with “Away Team” on them.
Don’t be all scary and then take offence when we laugh and hide the sharp objects from you.
A few simple facts about Star Trek, from a non-obsessive, head scratching fan:
Bones WAS camper than the tv Batman at a camping conference.
Scotty was NOT Scottish, and he always, always made the ship work, despite his protestations.
Wrath of Khan was pants, it had Ricardo Montalban as the villain. This man lived on Fantasy Island and had a dwarf for a “life companion” that said “Zee plane! Zee plane!”
Kirk was not sexy, dangerous and risk-taking. He wore a rug, sucked his gut in and copped off with lots and lots of blue-skinned women. This is because he could never score with an earth-woman. (see TJ Hooker for proof)
Spock looked stupid with those ears.
IT WASN’T REAL
So, it makes no sense to learn Klingon or buy technical blueprint books.
This marks you out as a “trekkie” and open to insult, attack and nerve pinches.
This is indisputable fact.
And not to be taken seriously.
Calm down, put the phaser down and open your curtains, go out and buy Microsoft Train Simulator.