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"SSC 35: The God Of The Woods"

Carl was a man who spent most of his time cutting trees down and selling parts of them to other people. He has raised a lot of money by doing this. But what he doesn't know is one God is watching him from the sky’s above.
He was The God Of The Woods.
Now, The God Of The Woods is in charge of all the forests and trees. He tries to look after the animals who have chosen The Woods as a home and gives them care.

The God Of The Woods, of course cannot be in charge of the Woods all by himself.
He needs help.
And that's when Robin Wood comes in.
Robin Wood is The God Of The Wood's friend. Robin Wood occasionally agreed to accept the offer from The God Of The Woods...

"So, whaddya say?" The God Of The Woods asked Robin Wood. "You gonna help me keep The Woods safe or not?"

Robin Wood looked at The God Of The Woods. "A God does not talk in such way. As I am your true and honored friend I will accept your proposal."

"Great!" The God Of The Woods said. "You can get started by killing anyone who tries to harm my property and animals."

"OK!"

So that's how Robin Wood found himself walking around the Woods. Unfortunately, Carl was in the same place Robin Wood was in. Carl was not aware of this and carried on walking with his axe.

Carl spotted a rabbit chewing on a golden carrot.
"A rabbit is quick so I must use my bow." thought Carl.
Carl got out his bow, took aim and fired an arrow at the rabbit.
The arrow went through the rabbit’s eye, it collapsed and lay dead.

The God Of The Woods watch watching this disturbing performance with his golden eye (did I mention he had a golden eye) and called Robin Wood.
He told Robin Wood that he must kill Carl if it was the last thing he does.
Robin Wood understood his mission and set of.

Carl heard a faint rustle of leaves. He turned around and looked.
"Who's there?"
Carl saw a bush move.
"Who's there!?"
Carl steadily advanced himself towards the bush with his axe raised up high. He was about to hit the bush when -
"OWWW!"
Robin Wood came bursting out of the bush and kicked Carl in balls.
Carl staggered back in agony.
Robin Wood bellowed, "I am here to be the hero of the poor rabbit you killed!"
Carl rolled around in pain. "Kicking me in the balls ain't heroic!"
Robin Wood ran towards Carl and kicked him.
"OW!" Carl screamed.
Then there was a loud shout. It seemed to go on forever.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"What is that?!" Robin Wood asked.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
It hit Robin Wood. A man had swung on a rope shouting at full volume and came charging into Robin Wood's head.
Robin Wood spitted out blood. "YOU!" He shouted. "So you've returned! I should’ve known you'd've come back, WoodZan!"
Carl staggered up to face WoodZan.

"That is right!" WoodZan shouted. "I am here to save Carl! There you are, hop onto my back!"
Carl did what he said. Soon WoodZan bit some rope and tore it and soon they were flying through the sky.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"You don't really need to shout." Carl explained.
"Sorry." WoodZan replied.

Robin Wood returned to the sky’s above with an aching headache and a bleeding mouth.
"I saw what happened." The God Of The Woods said.
Robin Wood was about to talk but-
"We must enter my vehicle." The God Of The Woods continued.
"Not the Bat Man tune again..."
"Damn right! To the WoodMobile!"
The God Of The Woods recited the Bat Man tune and hopped in his vehicle.
Robin Wood slowly got in.

Soon they were flying through the air just as Carl and WoodZan. They landed at the spot where the Wood Radar said.

Soon they were searching the area.
It was full of squirrels.
"CHARGE!"
Carl and WoodZan dropped from a tree and landed on Robin Wood and The God Of The Woods.
"Oh crap!" The God Of The Woods said.

Soon there was a huge battle. Carl was slamming Robin Woods face on a tree while WoodZan was attempting to hang The God Of The Woods upside down from a tree.
"C'mon!" WoodZan said, irritated. "Spider-Man can do it!"
There was a gunshot.

Carl jumped.

A lady came out from a bush holding a shotgun.
"I should've known." The God Of The Woods said. "WoodzaRella."
"Thass right 'tcha varmit!" WoodzaRella said! "I gonna beatcha up 'tcha morans!" She was spitting a lot.

WoodZan was swinging from a rope and was about to charge at WoodzaRella's back but she pointed her shotgun behind her and pulled the trigger and WoodZan was killed.

She aimed the shotgun at Robin Wood and shot. Robin Woods arm got shot of and he was dead. Carl started running. He finally found the exit to the woods. He heard the distant cries of: "NOOOOOOOO!" From The God Of The Woods. "AAAAAA! NO PLEASE! I BEG YOU WOODZARELLA! NOOOO!"

Soon...WoodzaRella hunted down Carl to. Carl's body remains in a pile with Robin Wood's body, WoodZan's body and The God Of The Woods body.
Soon the bodies started decaying and eventually eaten by creatures.

The End.

Once again I am reminded of a comicbook. On the one hand that's a good thing, as it means your story has a kind of slapstick and entertaining quality. On the other hand it's a bad thing, as it means everything is a bit 'cardboard cut-out' and one-dimensional.

Kilgore Trout wrote:
> It's an expression, doofi.

You can't expect me to know what it means.

Crows!? Cool.

Thats ok. My one about Crows will be up soon.

Thanks Crossbob.

I like all your stories hope your new one will be good.

I know.

I'm gonna make a new story but try to make the people who said this story was bad say that my new story is good.

:)

Cool Boy wrote:
> Doofi?

What he said.

Doofi?

Doofi?