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Letterbocks :
I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.
----
I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.
----
Yesterday in my local TKMAXX, I went into the household bit and saw a non-stick frying pan with a price sticker on it. Who the feck are they trying to kid?
----
Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways, whilst eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful, I was able to spell out 'Hitler is nice' if I used a z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?
----
"Stop taking the p!55!" I said to my son recently. We both had to laugh as he is a doctor and was taking a urine sample from me for some tests. The laughter soon faded when the results came back and he informed me that I will be dead within 6 months.
----
You often hear that "blood is thicker than water". Well I've got both of them coming out of my ass at the moment, and to be perfectly honest I can't feel any difference.
----
Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.
----
It's all very well these bleeding heart liberals getting on their high horses because the Canadians are culling seals again. They don't have a troupe of seals living next door to them, like I do. If, like me, they were kept awake every night by incessant clapping and the honking of bicycle horns into the early hours, they'd be the first onto the ice floe with a baseball bat, let me tell you.
----
IN Limp Bizkit's new single Fred Durst can be heard singing 'no one knows what it's like to be mistreated'. I feel my pet rabbit would disagree, having recently starved to death in a nest of its own excrement.
----
IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning.
I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.
----
I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.
----
Yesterday in my local TKMAXX, I went into the household bit and saw a non-stick frying pan with a price sticker on it. Who the feck are they trying to kid?
----
Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways, whilst eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful, I was able to spell out 'Hitler is nice' if I used a z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?
----
"Stop taking the p!55!" I said to my son recently. We both had to laugh as he is a doctor and was taking a urine sample from me for some tests. The laughter soon faded when the results came back and he informed me that I will be dead within 6 months.
----
You often hear that "blood is thicker than water". Well I've got both of them coming out of my ass at the moment, and to be perfectly honest I can't feel any difference.
----
Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.
----
It's all very well these bleeding heart liberals getting on their high horses because the Canadians are culling seals again. They don't have a troupe of seals living next door to them, like I do. If, like me, they were kept awake every night by incessant clapping and the honking of bicycle horns into the early hours, they'd be the first onto the ice floe with a baseball bat, let me tell you.
----
IN Limp Bizkit's new single Fred Durst can be heard singing 'no one knows what it's like to be mistreated'. I feel my pet rabbit would disagree, having recently starved to death in a nest of its own excrement.
----
IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning.
The p!55 one is hilarious!
Good ol' Viz...
Good ol' Viz...
I know you shouldn't laugh at some of these but imagining the Richard Whitley one made me cry with laughter!
I really, really want "The Life Of Christ. In Cats" plate.
:D
Letterbocks :
I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.
----
I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.
----
Yesterday in my local TKMAXX, I went into the household bit and saw a non-stick frying pan with a price sticker on it. Who the feck are they trying to kid?
----
Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways, whilst eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful, I was able to spell out 'Hitler is nice' if I used a z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?
----
"Stop taking the p!55!" I said to my son recently. We both had to laugh as he is a doctor and was taking a urine sample from me for some tests. The laughter soon faded when the results came back and he informed me that I will be dead within 6 months.
----
You often hear that "blood is thicker than water". Well I've got both of them coming out of my ass at the moment, and to be perfectly honest I can't feel any difference.
----
Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.
----
It's all very well these bleeding heart liberals getting on their high horses because the Canadians are culling seals again. They don't have a troupe of seals living next door to them, like I do. If, like me, they were kept awake every night by incessant clapping and the honking of bicycle horns into the early hours, they'd be the first onto the ice floe with a baseball bat, let me tell you.
----
IN Limp Bizkit's new single Fred Durst can be heard singing 'no one knows what it's like to be mistreated'. I feel my pet rabbit would disagree, having recently starved to death in a nest of its own excrement.
----
IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning.
I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.
----
I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.
----
Yesterday in my local TKMAXX, I went into the household bit and saw a non-stick frying pan with a price sticker on it. Who the feck are they trying to kid?
----
Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways, whilst eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful, I was able to spell out 'Hitler is nice' if I used a z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?
----
"Stop taking the p!55!" I said to my son recently. We both had to laugh as he is a doctor and was taking a urine sample from me for some tests. The laughter soon faded when the results came back and he informed me that I will be dead within 6 months.
----
You often hear that "blood is thicker than water". Well I've got both of them coming out of my ass at the moment, and to be perfectly honest I can't feel any difference.
----
Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.
----
It's all very well these bleeding heart liberals getting on their high horses because the Canadians are culling seals again. They don't have a troupe of seals living next door to them, like I do. If, like me, they were kept awake every night by incessant clapping and the honking of bicycle horns into the early hours, they'd be the first onto the ice floe with a baseball bat, let me tell you.
----
IN Limp Bizkit's new single Fred Durst can be heard singing 'no one knows what it's like to be mistreated'. I feel my pet rabbit would disagree, having recently starved to death in a nest of its own excrement.
----
IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning.