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Revenge
A pair of blinding red lights left my vision as my assailants sped away, I sprinted down the road, rain pouring down hard on my head intensifying the pains in my heart. I was a man possessed hell-bent on getting revenge for my family, this obviously wasn’t an amateur job.
It was 3 o’ clock when I got home, there are some things you just don’t expect in life, winning the lottery, finding a 5 pound note, opening your front door and seeing your wife and child’s intestines stretched across the room and smelling the foul stench of blood in the air. If you’re the sort of man that would be prepared to kill anyone, break any law and blow any thing up to kill the crappers who did this to you, chances are you were me.
I smash the window of a nearby car and a shard of class slashes my arm, blood’s streaming down me like Niagara falls but I don’t care, I can barely feel it and the rain will wash the stains away. I get half way down the road and slam on the handbrake as a glimmer hit’s the corner of my eye. The back window of the car pops and instinctively I reach for my Magnum, diving out the passenger seat blasting off the side mirror in mid air. I crouch behind the back rear of the car and hold the side mirror up towards the glimmer, great a god damn sniper. I could reach him with my .44 but there is no way I’m that good a shot, suddenly a great force smashes the mirror out my hand and a bullet ricochets from the wall and blasts out the tire right next to me. It’s sod’s law that I’m up against a sniper with a Magnum but when the guy’s a surgeon with his weapon it stacks the odds right up against me.
Think you stupid, fat loser, just think of a way to get out of this. You can’t get out of this all guns blazing so the only way to get through this is- *BOOM*
Another car window pops over my head, showering me with glass shards. Balls to this, it’s time to let this baby loose. I crawl over to the trunk, pop it open and grab the spare tire. Bless you Pirelli you may of just saved my ass. Crawling to the front end of the car I kick the tire into the other direction into the snipers view and dive out emptying my chamber into the air. I hear a pop and then the sound of a bullet hit the floor beside me. Looking up I see the guy stumble of the roof, must of shot his ankle out. I walk over, my Magnum still drawn out, suddenly I go blind and a deafening cackle plagues my ears. Looks like the crapface didn’t want to go quietly, it takes me a while to gather my bearings fully and only then do I realise what he’d done, I notice that the car blocking me from him is full of shrapnel holes and my legs feel weak. I drop to my knees where the puddle of blood on the floor sings me a lullaby, I black out…
A pair of blinding red lights left my vision as my assailants sped away, I sprinted down the road, rain pouring down hard on my head intensifying the pains in my heart. I was a man possessed hell-bent on getting revenge for my family, this obviously wasn’t an amateur job.
It was 3 o’ clock when I got home, there are some things you just don’t expect in life, winning the lottery, finding a 5 pound note, opening your front door and seeing your wife and child’s intestines stretched across the room and smelling the foul stench of blood in the air. If you’re the sort of man that would be prepared to kill anyone, break any law and blow any thing up to kill the crappers who did this to you, chances are you were me.
I smash the window of a nearby car and a shard of class slashes my arm, blood’s streaming down me like Niagara falls but I don’t care, I can barely feel it and the rain will wash the stains away. I get half way down the road and slam on the handbrake as a glimmer hit’s the corner of my eye. The back window of the car pops and instinctively I reach for my Magnum, diving out the passenger seat blasting off the side mirror in mid air. I crouch behind the back rear of the car and hold the side mirror up towards the glimmer, great a god damn sniper. I could reach him with my .44 but there is no way I’m that good a shot, suddenly a great force smashes the mirror out my hand and a bullet ricochets from the wall and blasts out the tire right next to me. It’s sod’s law that I’m up against a sniper with a Magnum but when the guy’s a surgeon with his weapon it stacks the odds right up against me.
Think you stupid, fat loser, just think of a way to get out of this. You can’t get out of this all guns blazing so the only way to get through this is- *BOOM*
Another car window pops over my head, showering me with glass shards. Balls to this, it’s time to let this baby loose. I crawl over to the trunk, pop it open and grab the spare tire. Bless you Pirelli you may of just saved my ass. Crawling to the front end of the car I kick the tire into the other direction into the snipers view and dive out emptying my chamber into the air. I hear a pop and then the sound of a bullet hit the floor beside me. Looking up I see the guy stumble of the roof, must of shot his ankle out. I walk over, my Magnum still drawn out, suddenly I go blind and a deafening cackle plagues my ears. Looks like the crapface didn’t want to go quietly, it takes me a while to gather my bearings fully and only then do I realise what he’d done, I notice that the car blocking me from him is full of shrapnel holes and my legs feel weak. I drop to my knees where the puddle of blood on the floor sings me a lullaby, I black out…
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Revenge
A pair of blinding red lights left my vision as my assailants sped away, I sprinted down the road, rain pouring down hard on my head intensifying the pains in my heart. I was a man possessed hell-bent on getting revenge for my family, this obviously wasn’t an amateur job.
It was 3 o’ clock when I got home, there are some things you just don’t expect in life, winning the lottery, finding a 5 pound note, opening your front door and seeing your wife and child’s intestines stretched across the room and smelling the foul stench of blood in the air. If you’re the sort of man that would be prepared to kill anyone, break any law and blow any thing up to kill the crappers who did this to you, chances are you were me.
I smash the window of a nearby car and a shard of class slashes my arm, blood’s streaming down me like Niagara falls but I don’t care, I can barely feel it and the rain will wash the stains away. I get half way down the road and slam on the handbrake as a glimmer hit’s the corner of my eye. The back window of the car pops and instinctively I reach for my Magnum, diving out the passenger seat blasting off the side mirror in mid air. I crouch behind the back rear of the car and hold the side mirror up towards the glimmer, great a god damn sniper. I could reach him with my .44 but there is no way I’m that good a shot, suddenly a great force smashes the mirror out my hand and a bullet ricochets from the wall and blasts out the tire right next to me. It’s sod’s law that I’m up against a sniper with a Magnum but when the guy’s a surgeon with his weapon it stacks the odds right up against me.
Think you stupid, fat loser, just think of a way to get out of this. You can’t get out of this all guns blazing so the only way to get through this is- *BOOM*
Another car window pops over my head, showering me with glass shards. Balls to this, it’s time to let this baby loose. I crawl over to the trunk, pop it open and grab the spare tire. Bless you Pirelli you may of just saved my ass. Crawling to the front end of the car I kick the tire into the other direction into the snipers view and dive out emptying my chamber into the air. I hear a pop and then the sound of a bullet hit the floor beside me. Looking up I see the guy stumble of the roof, must of shot his ankle out. I walk over, my Magnum still drawn out, suddenly I go blind and a deafening cackle plagues my ears. Looks like the crapface didn’t want to go quietly, it takes me a while to gather my bearings fully and only then do I realise what he’d done, I notice that the car blocking me from him is full of shrapnel holes and my legs feel weak. I drop to my knees where the puddle of blood on the floor sings me a lullaby, I black out…
A pair of blinding red lights left my vision as my assailants sped away, I sprinted down the road, rain pouring down hard on my head intensifying the pains in my heart. I was a man possessed hell-bent on getting revenge for my family, this obviously wasn’t an amateur job.
It was 3 o’ clock when I got home, there are some things you just don’t expect in life, winning the lottery, finding a 5 pound note, opening your front door and seeing your wife and child’s intestines stretched across the room and smelling the foul stench of blood in the air. If you’re the sort of man that would be prepared to kill anyone, break any law and blow any thing up to kill the crappers who did this to you, chances are you were me.
I smash the window of a nearby car and a shard of class slashes my arm, blood’s streaming down me like Niagara falls but I don’t care, I can barely feel it and the rain will wash the stains away. I get half way down the road and slam on the handbrake as a glimmer hit’s the corner of my eye. The back window of the car pops and instinctively I reach for my Magnum, diving out the passenger seat blasting off the side mirror in mid air. I crouch behind the back rear of the car and hold the side mirror up towards the glimmer, great a god damn sniper. I could reach him with my .44 but there is no way I’m that good a shot, suddenly a great force smashes the mirror out my hand and a bullet ricochets from the wall and blasts out the tire right next to me. It’s sod’s law that I’m up against a sniper with a Magnum but when the guy’s a surgeon with his weapon it stacks the odds right up against me.
Think you stupid, fat loser, just think of a way to get out of this. You can’t get out of this all guns blazing so the only way to get through this is- *BOOM*
Another car window pops over my head, showering me with glass shards. Balls to this, it’s time to let this baby loose. I crawl over to the trunk, pop it open and grab the spare tire. Bless you Pirelli you may of just saved my ass. Crawling to the front end of the car I kick the tire into the other direction into the snipers view and dive out emptying my chamber into the air. I hear a pop and then the sound of a bullet hit the floor beside me. Looking up I see the guy stumble of the roof, must of shot his ankle out. I walk over, my Magnum still drawn out, suddenly I go blind and a deafening cackle plagues my ears. Looks like the crapface didn’t want to go quietly, it takes me a while to gather my bearings fully and only then do I realise what he’d done, I notice that the car blocking me from him is full of shrapnel holes and my legs feel weak. I drop to my knees where the puddle of blood on the floor sings me a lullaby, I black out…
Not bad. Try to double check your work and try to shake off some of the cliche-eness.
It was mean't to be quite clichéd. Just not to the point of cringing.
Also what do you actually think a cliché is?
Also what do you actually think a cliché is?
Great I loved it.
Oriental Rib wrote:
>>
> Also what do you actually think a cliché is?
An idea/theme/motif/etc that has been overused and has become synonymous with another and/or style etc.
>>
> Also what do you actually think a cliché is?
An idea/theme/motif/etc that has been overused and has become synonymous with another and/or style etc.
Ah yus, I mis-understood him.
Are you going to write a new part for this or just leave it how it is?
Don't know, not many people read it.
Three people.
Oriental Rib wrote:
> Ah yus, I mis-understood him.
Who?
The story was bit...dunno. It could be improved.
> Ah yus, I mis-understood him.
Who?
The story was bit...dunno. It could be improved.
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