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They tell me things I don’t want to hear. It’s dark and damp and the worms are whispering to me. ‘Try to stay calm’ they say, ‘it’s just a matter of time’. But what do they know? They’re just worms, hollow to the core.
It’s warm, even with the damp. At least that’s something. I did try to call out before, but I’m not bothering now. The blackness seems to muffle my calls and my heart is not in it any more.
There it goes. Another shiver in my bones. The smell of the earth, the earth in my toenails. The ground is life, but it doesn’t let up it’s life to me. People I knew are earth now. Perhaps we will meet. So nice to meet you, earth.
The wood went first, before I met the worms. Splinters and creaks rattled through my eardrums. I worried then, but it was nothing really. Now I know. Now I realise. Now I understand what I’m doing here.
No rescue for me. Not down here. Deep in a hole.
They tell me things I don’t want to hear. It’s dark and damp and the worms are whispering to me. ‘Try to stay calm’ they say, ‘it’s just a matter of time’. But what do they know? They’re just worms, hollow to the core.
It’s warm, even with the damp. At least that’s something. I did try to call out before, but I’m not bothering now. The blackness seems to muffle my calls and my heart is not in it any more.
There it goes. Another shiver in my bones. The smell of the earth, the earth in my toenails. The ground is life, but it doesn’t let up it’s life to me. People I knew are earth now. Perhaps we will meet. So nice to meet you, earth.
The wood went first, before I met the worms. Splinters and creaks rattled through my eardrums. I worried then, but it was nothing really. Now I know. Now I realise. Now I understand what I’m doing here.
No rescue for me. Not down here. Deep in a hole.
As Bob said, a bit short, but enjoyable nonetheless.
I also thought the best way to write the story was in the first person, simply because there was some interesting little slants that could be put into the situation.
My story was more psychological, but I thought this was a very good example of how to write from the mind of someone who was stuck underground, writing about the physical descriptions.
For me it was the repitition of some comments that are simply associated with being underground and death, combined with the imagery it created. References to death and decay made it atmospheric.
So, yeah, good stuff.