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The scientist stands there looking out the window he is in a room filled with, Smoke from chemicals that he has, Rats in cages scratching the bars trying to get out, liquids spilt all over the table. Then tied to a big long chair is a man who has already been experimented on a load syringes around the room what will happen next? The scientist turns away from the window after looking at trees and flowers and the sun shining for long enough. He grabbed one of the syringes that he had already got ready earlier that day then stabbed it into the man’s chest. He then pushed down the top letting the liquid of the syringe go into the man. The man started screaming and shaking about. The Scientist then pulled out the syringe and threw it across the room smashing a test tube.
The man started foaming from the mouth he then ripped from the straps that were wrapped round him. He was transforming and very quickly. He jumped off the chair he was laying on the scientist ran out the room as quick as his little legs could. He locked the door behind him so the man could get out. The man was still transforming his clothes were ripping he was screaming in pain, as his flesh started changing and his skin started going horrible.
He dropped to the floor and just laid there shaking about after the transformation has stopped he jumped. He was now a horrible looking beast and not his old handsome looking self. The beast grabbed things from the tables throwing them at the walls watching them smash. He saw the scientist in his little white jacket looking through the glass of the door. The beast jumped over the tables and ran to the door. The scientist sped off the beast grabbed the door and ripped it from its hinges. He flew after the scientist thumping his big feet on the floor.
He jumped through the air and landed on the scientist he started hitting him and screaming. “This is for all the pain you gave me” shouted the beast. He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body. The beast ran out the scientist’s place on to the busy street shrieks started happening all day the street. The beast looked left and right thinking where to go he ran left the way to his house his wife wouldn’t remember him she wouldn’t even recognise him now. He had been gone for two years after being taken by the scientist and having sick experiments be done on him. He couldn’t change himself back to normal now; he had smashed up the scientist laboratory.
As he ran down the street he heard sirens oh know police they were probably after him. What could he do he just stopped and turned they might remember him he was a police officer, before he was kidnapped. His friends might still be police officers. As he turned he was shot with a tranquilliser dart knocking him out straight away. A little while later he woke finding him self on a bed and not in so much pain he looked at his legs in normal trousers which was good no horrible beast legs.
He felt his shoulders no horrible hair on his shoulders he was back to normal and he felt great he wasn’t a beast anymore but he had killed the scientist and he was going to be questioned for that oh well the scientist deserved it. He couldn’t get arrested for something the scientist deserved.
Not to be continued…
The man started foaming from the mouth he then ripped from the straps that were wrapped round him. He was transforming and very quickly. He jumped off the chair he was laying on the scientist ran out the room as quick as his little legs could. He locked the door behind him so the man could get out. The man was still transforming his clothes were ripping he was screaming in pain, as his flesh started changing and his skin started going horrible.
He dropped to the floor and just laid there shaking about after the transformation has stopped he jumped. He was now a horrible looking beast and not his old handsome looking self. The beast grabbed things from the tables throwing them at the walls watching them smash. He saw the scientist in his little white jacket looking through the glass of the door. The beast jumped over the tables and ran to the door. The scientist sped off the beast grabbed the door and ripped it from its hinges. He flew after the scientist thumping his big feet on the floor.
He jumped through the air and landed on the scientist he started hitting him and screaming. “This is for all the pain you gave me” shouted the beast. He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body. The beast ran out the scientist’s place on to the busy street shrieks started happening all day the street. The beast looked left and right thinking where to go he ran left the way to his house his wife wouldn’t remember him she wouldn’t even recognise him now. He had been gone for two years after being taken by the scientist and having sick experiments be done on him. He couldn’t change himself back to normal now; he had smashed up the scientist laboratory.
As he ran down the street he heard sirens oh know police they were probably after him. What could he do he just stopped and turned they might remember him he was a police officer, before he was kidnapped. His friends might still be police officers. As he turned he was shot with a tranquilliser dart knocking him out straight away. A little while later he woke finding him self on a bed and not in so much pain he looked at his legs in normal trousers which was good no horrible beast legs.
He felt his shoulders no horrible hair on his shoulders he was back to normal and he felt great he wasn’t a beast anymore but he had killed the scientist and he was going to be questioned for that oh well the scientist deserved it. He couldn’t get arrested for something the scientist deserved.
Not to be continued…
Yeah I will read it through the next time I promise :D
You are going to have to starting reading your stories through again for errors before posting them. You do have some amusing ideas and then ruin them by making the stories hard to read. It detracts from the enjoyment.
The ending was weak. The rest of it was entertaining in a crazy cartoon kind of a way.
I always find something amusing in your stuff (whether you mean it or not)- like: "He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body.
I always find something amusing in your stuff (whether you mean it or not)- like: "He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body.
Alright thanks for the advise.
Sorry, it did nothing for me. You really have to learn to punctuate your sentences, half of it didn't make sense. You seem to have good ideas but you have to think about the words, could you use a more emotive word? are you repeating it? etc.
Also, you need to think of a good ending that doesn;t result in nothing what so ever. The man killed the scientist and that ws about it. Include a twist or a bit of closure, at least something thought provoking.
Also, you need to think of a good ending that doesn;t result in nothing what so ever. The man killed the scientist and that ws about it. Include a twist or a bit of closure, at least something thought provoking.
The scientist stands there looking out the window he is in a room filled with, Smoke from chemicals that he has, Rats in cages scratching the bars trying to get out, liquids spilt all over the table. Then tied to a big long chair is a man who has already been experimented on a load syringes around the room what will happen next? The scientist turns away from the window after looking at trees and flowers and the sun shining for long enough. He grabbed one of the syringes that he had already got ready earlier that day then stabbed it into the man’s chest. He then pushed down the top letting the liquid of the syringe go into the man. The man started screaming and shaking about. The Scientist then pulled out the syringe and threw it across the room smashing a test tube.
The man started foaming from the mouth he then ripped from the straps that were wrapped round him. He was transforming and very quickly. He jumped off the chair he was laying on the scientist ran out the room as quick as his little legs could. He locked the door behind him so the man could get out. The man was still transforming his clothes were ripping he was screaming in pain, as his flesh started changing and his skin started going horrible.
He dropped to the floor and just laid there shaking about after the transformation has stopped he jumped. He was now a horrible looking beast and not his old handsome looking self. The beast grabbed things from the tables throwing them at the walls watching them smash. He saw the scientist in his little white jacket looking through the glass of the door. The beast jumped over the tables and ran to the door. The scientist sped off the beast grabbed the door and ripped it from its hinges. He flew after the scientist thumping his big feet on the floor.
He jumped through the air and landed on the scientist he started hitting him and screaming. “This is for all the pain you gave me” shouted the beast. He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body. The beast ran out the scientist’s place on to the busy street shrieks started happening all day the street. The beast looked left and right thinking where to go he ran left the way to his house his wife wouldn’t remember him she wouldn’t even recognise him now. He had been gone for two years after being taken by the scientist and having sick experiments be done on him. He couldn’t change himself back to normal now; he had smashed up the scientist laboratory.
As he ran down the street he heard sirens oh know police they were probably after him. What could he do he just stopped and turned they might remember him he was a police officer, before he was kidnapped. His friends might still be police officers. As he turned he was shot with a tranquilliser dart knocking him out straight away. A little while later he woke finding him self on a bed and not in so much pain he looked at his legs in normal trousers which was good no horrible beast legs.
He felt his shoulders no horrible hair on his shoulders he was back to normal and he felt great he wasn’t a beast anymore but he had killed the scientist and he was going to be questioned for that oh well the scientist deserved it. He couldn’t get arrested for something the scientist deserved.
Not to be continued…
The man started foaming from the mouth he then ripped from the straps that were wrapped round him. He was transforming and very quickly. He jumped off the chair he was laying on the scientist ran out the room as quick as his little legs could. He locked the door behind him so the man could get out. The man was still transforming his clothes were ripping he was screaming in pain, as his flesh started changing and his skin started going horrible.
He dropped to the floor and just laid there shaking about after the transformation has stopped he jumped. He was now a horrible looking beast and not his old handsome looking self. The beast grabbed things from the tables throwing them at the walls watching them smash. He saw the scientist in his little white jacket looking through the glass of the door. The beast jumped over the tables and ran to the door. The scientist sped off the beast grabbed the door and ripped it from its hinges. He flew after the scientist thumping his big feet on the floor.
He jumped through the air and landed on the scientist he started hitting him and screaming. “This is for all the pain you gave me” shouted the beast. He ripped off the scientist goggled face and threw him against the wall breaking all the bones in his body. The beast ran out the scientist’s place on to the busy street shrieks started happening all day the street. The beast looked left and right thinking where to go he ran left the way to his house his wife wouldn’t remember him she wouldn’t even recognise him now. He had been gone for two years after being taken by the scientist and having sick experiments be done on him. He couldn’t change himself back to normal now; he had smashed up the scientist laboratory.
As he ran down the street he heard sirens oh know police they were probably after him. What could he do he just stopped and turned they might remember him he was a police officer, before he was kidnapped. His friends might still be police officers. As he turned he was shot with a tranquilliser dart knocking him out straight away. A little while later he woke finding him self on a bed and not in so much pain he looked at his legs in normal trousers which was good no horrible beast legs.
He felt his shoulders no horrible hair on his shoulders he was back to normal and he felt great he wasn’t a beast anymore but he had killed the scientist and he was going to be questioned for that oh well the scientist deserved it. He couldn’t get arrested for something the scientist deserved.
Not to be continued…