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"The end before the start"

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Tue 13/09/05 at 19:23
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
In the deepest, darkest pocket of space where not a single ray of light had ever shone before, there was the very initial beginnings of a planet. As all or none may know, stars are formed from the collection of gases and space dust which has drifted without knowledge of its destination or past path. However this collection of matter, will be labelled as a planet, because it was soon to become the greatest structure within the unknown universe.

It was possessed by 2 gods, one called Deus and one called Diablo. These two divine beings both had the most unimaginable ideas as to how they wanted to mould the planet.

"Isn't it incredible to think that within no time at all, this lump of crust, will have been crafted by us into the most magnificent location." Deus expressed himself in the most dramatic way possible. He seemed to have a great sense of occasion. He was sure these early steps would be repeated by the (yet to be made) beings on the planet. A view Diablo shared:

"Of course. The images that have bee conjured up in my mind are awe inspiring. Together, we shall design and manufacture the most desirable planet in the universe.

As it was clear for all to see, the great expectations the two had could only come to fruition as one of the most stunning lands of all time. After all, with targets so high, even failing would create a glorious world.

Straight away the two discussed ideas. It was a miraculous sight. Ideas, like rain drops falling from the mouth of Deus, did break on Diablo, split into tens of droplets, each a new and wonderful idea itself. It was a sight to behold. A sight that would have inspired all others within this solitary dimension.

With such vigour did the two converse, that the image being painted in each others minds grew more rapidly, that even the most skilled artist could not have kept up.

Deus, with his hands upstretched, said: "Oh and the creatures. What magnificent beings they shall be. We shall craft each one individually. First they must have minds. For to be independant and greatful for our gift to them, they must create thoughts, moods. They must feel. Oh and breathe. They must breathe in life, sucking in the bliss of their surrounds, and exhale satisfaction. They must love and eat and taste the delights of the world."

"I completely agree. Each one must be better than the last. Each must make the most of their life and indulge on the bounties that we shall provide." Diablo continued. Clearly the beings were a major consideration.

"And of course they must live the greatest of lives. They must eat, so as to taste the delights of their surrounds. They must love each other. They must decide what is best for them and have complete independance to fill their every need."

At this point, for the first time since Deus and Diablo had exchanged thoughts, Deus spoke up against the notion Diablo had for how the beings should live:

"I don't think that's quite how we should program them. Yes they should enjoy their existances, but that is made all the harder if everyone is out for itslelf."

Diablo retorted that "Surely that just makes it easier. If each is independant and has the power of thought, they can decide whats best for themselves. This means what they do, be it eating forever or acting how they want to, should provide them with their best chance of a blissful life?"

"Not so," replied Deus. "What if one person does something that disadvantages others? This affects many people in a negative fashion. It certainly doesn't produce the wonderful lives we both desire them to have..."

And so it went on. It was shocking to see the two split so derisively. For a period of time which never looked like finding a settlement, they did argue. Until on the spur of the moment, Diablo commented that he "never liked the idea that God had about water. After all, why would you want more than half of the land covered in water at most. That cuts down on the space on which the magnificant creations could be constructed." Diablo concluded that many more beautiful things could be achieved on land than within water. Besides, he disliked water. He wanted "lava to be spewing from gigantic juts on the crust to emminate a warmth which the people would be appreciative of."

At which point Deus frowned and simply said "No. You've got it all wrong. We have to be fair."

Now Diablo was already seething. The argument had riled him up to such a point where the anger on his face was almost taking up a physical form of its own, let alone the sight of his brows furrowed and teeth showing.

Diablo ripped through the earth, tearing chunks out of it, like a unruley child. He was furious. He was well beyond his previous state and had passed into a new phase where his only intent was to do everything his way or else destroy anything else.

Deus saw these horrific sights of Diablo spoiling the world and laying waste to their fantastic designs. Deus hurled a fire ball over the world and lay light upon this previously unseen pocket of space. Then he spared no time in starting to shoot water all over the surface of the earth. He blasted channels through the crust like a fissure in the middle of a desert, then shoot yet more water into them. Rivers were being created, but at such a rate that no care was taken. Deus then continued to plant millions and millions of trees and plant precious metals into the crust.

Diablo saw his own work play second fiddle to the changes Deus was making and started blazing the trees with obscenely ferocious whirlwinds of fire. The trees were reduced to hideous charred stumps. Some even went flying out of the ground, into the rivers. Also, precious stones and other material was being hurled into the vast expanses of water that now sat on the surface. But that wasn't enough. Diablo started pouring thick, poisonous oil all over the world.

This battle over the world had escalated to such a point that there was no return possible in the slightest. Lava had discoloured the water which float disgusting char balck trees flow down it's rugged paths.

Such torment had the world endured that it was now most likely the most inhospitable place that the universe had ever previously suspended within itself. It was a horrific spectacle. Seing huge craters being blown out f the surface, whilst God plastered the lands with a green variety of vegetation. His efforts were to no avail as the blazing whirlwind just singed this new vegetation to its roots. For a few seconds a lush carpet graced the earth. Yet within the blink of an eye, it was all destroyed.

And this continued for yet another seemingly endless time. Until, at such a point as the world had been defaced so badly that fields of fire covered the surface, (but only where disgusting, merky, poisonous water didn't collect of course) Diablo stopped and exclaimed:

"I hope never to see you, you make of this land what you will. I despise the thought of working, no, seeing you ever again. I shall find my own world..."

Deus too new that the damage was irreperable and no sooner nor later than at this point did he return with:

"Good. I hope you're happy that you single handedly ruined what could have been true perfection."

In a sudden flash, the mutilated world was abandonned by both, forever. It brings tears to my eyes to have watched such an event, not least the sight of the crust oozing out blood and weeping dirty water through the devastating pain it was experiencing.

May we learn from this, and go on forth in co-operation with others to strive for perfection. For you now know that there is a dark and unhappy future awaiting anything that is not crafted with deserved care.
Sat 24/09/05 at 14:25
Regular
"@RichSmedley"
Posts: 10,009
Great piece of writing there!
Sat 24/09/05 at 09:07
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
I hate the final paragraph too, and obviously realise it has many grammatical and spelling mistakes, but I wouldn't want to change it, becaue that could change the story and isn't in the spirit of the SSC.

SO, I may not win, but atleast I know it's another good idea.
Fri 23/09/05 at 23:16
Regular
"relocated"
Posts: 2,833
A terrific idea and some very nice descriptions in there. But it felt a little like a first draft to me - there were lots of typos/grammatical errors and sentences that didn't quite make sense. Very cool concept though.
Thu 22/09/05 at 21:38
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Enjoyed that - not the kind of story I was expecting from the topic, but it worked well. I agree that the final paragraph isn't the best way to end it though.
Thu 22/09/05 at 12:19
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
It's obvious that the watcher was so distraught at seeing such devastation being wrought that he found it difficult to put together what he saw into a coherent sentence.

Hence the line that shall forever more baffle mere humans and BG :)
Mon 19/09/05 at 21:14
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
Yeah. Sorry about that. I'd seen the bottom of a few too many grass green bottles, I guess.
Sat 17/09/05 at 14:13
Regular
"Laughingstock"
Posts: 3,522
A few typos in there, and this sentence stunted my reading: "Lava had discoloured the water which float disgusting char balck trees flow down it's rugged paths" - ?

However, an impressive and surprising use of the theme. I guess the moral of the story is: Creation and destruction are closely related.

Despite the slightly cheesy last paragraph I enjoyed it.
Tue 13/09/05 at 19:32
Regular
"WhaleOilBeefHooked"
Posts: 12,425
Very nice way of using the topic.

Not sure about the ending though, I think maybe it would have been better if you left out the last paragraph.
Tue 13/09/05 at 19:23
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
In the deepest, darkest pocket of space where not a single ray of light had ever shone before, there was the very initial beginnings of a planet. As all or none may know, stars are formed from the collection of gases and space dust which has drifted without knowledge of its destination or past path. However this collection of matter, will be labelled as a planet, because it was soon to become the greatest structure within the unknown universe.

It was possessed by 2 gods, one called Deus and one called Diablo. These two divine beings both had the most unimaginable ideas as to how they wanted to mould the planet.

"Isn't it incredible to think that within no time at all, this lump of crust, will have been crafted by us into the most magnificent location." Deus expressed himself in the most dramatic way possible. He seemed to have a great sense of occasion. He was sure these early steps would be repeated by the (yet to be made) beings on the planet. A view Diablo shared:

"Of course. The images that have bee conjured up in my mind are awe inspiring. Together, we shall design and manufacture the most desirable planet in the universe.

As it was clear for all to see, the great expectations the two had could only come to fruition as one of the most stunning lands of all time. After all, with targets so high, even failing would create a glorious world.

Straight away the two discussed ideas. It was a miraculous sight. Ideas, like rain drops falling from the mouth of Deus, did break on Diablo, split into tens of droplets, each a new and wonderful idea itself. It was a sight to behold. A sight that would have inspired all others within this solitary dimension.

With such vigour did the two converse, that the image being painted in each others minds grew more rapidly, that even the most skilled artist could not have kept up.

Deus, with his hands upstretched, said: "Oh and the creatures. What magnificent beings they shall be. We shall craft each one individually. First they must have minds. For to be independant and greatful for our gift to them, they must create thoughts, moods. They must feel. Oh and breathe. They must breathe in life, sucking in the bliss of their surrounds, and exhale satisfaction. They must love and eat and taste the delights of the world."

"I completely agree. Each one must be better than the last. Each must make the most of their life and indulge on the bounties that we shall provide." Diablo continued. Clearly the beings were a major consideration.

"And of course they must live the greatest of lives. They must eat, so as to taste the delights of their surrounds. They must love each other. They must decide what is best for them and have complete independance to fill their every need."

At this point, for the first time since Deus and Diablo had exchanged thoughts, Deus spoke up against the notion Diablo had for how the beings should live:

"I don't think that's quite how we should program them. Yes they should enjoy their existances, but that is made all the harder if everyone is out for itslelf."

Diablo retorted that "Surely that just makes it easier. If each is independant and has the power of thought, they can decide whats best for themselves. This means what they do, be it eating forever or acting how they want to, should provide them with their best chance of a blissful life?"

"Not so," replied Deus. "What if one person does something that disadvantages others? This affects many people in a negative fashion. It certainly doesn't produce the wonderful lives we both desire them to have..."

And so it went on. It was shocking to see the two split so derisively. For a period of time which never looked like finding a settlement, they did argue. Until on the spur of the moment, Diablo commented that he "never liked the idea that God had about water. After all, why would you want more than half of the land covered in water at most. That cuts down on the space on which the magnificant creations could be constructed." Diablo concluded that many more beautiful things could be achieved on land than within water. Besides, he disliked water. He wanted "lava to be spewing from gigantic juts on the crust to emminate a warmth which the people would be appreciative of."

At which point Deus frowned and simply said "No. You've got it all wrong. We have to be fair."

Now Diablo was already seething. The argument had riled him up to such a point where the anger on his face was almost taking up a physical form of its own, let alone the sight of his brows furrowed and teeth showing.

Diablo ripped through the earth, tearing chunks out of it, like a unruley child. He was furious. He was well beyond his previous state and had passed into a new phase where his only intent was to do everything his way or else destroy anything else.

Deus saw these horrific sights of Diablo spoiling the world and laying waste to their fantastic designs. Deus hurled a fire ball over the world and lay light upon this previously unseen pocket of space. Then he spared no time in starting to shoot water all over the surface of the earth. He blasted channels through the crust like a fissure in the middle of a desert, then shoot yet more water into them. Rivers were being created, but at such a rate that no care was taken. Deus then continued to plant millions and millions of trees and plant precious metals into the crust.

Diablo saw his own work play second fiddle to the changes Deus was making and started blazing the trees with obscenely ferocious whirlwinds of fire. The trees were reduced to hideous charred stumps. Some even went flying out of the ground, into the rivers. Also, precious stones and other material was being hurled into the vast expanses of water that now sat on the surface. But that wasn't enough. Diablo started pouring thick, poisonous oil all over the world.

This battle over the world had escalated to such a point that there was no return possible in the slightest. Lava had discoloured the water which float disgusting char balck trees flow down it's rugged paths.

Such torment had the world endured that it was now most likely the most inhospitable place that the universe had ever previously suspended within itself. It was a horrific spectacle. Seing huge craters being blown out f the surface, whilst God plastered the lands with a green variety of vegetation. His efforts were to no avail as the blazing whirlwind just singed this new vegetation to its roots. For a few seconds a lush carpet graced the earth. Yet within the blink of an eye, it was all destroyed.

And this continued for yet another seemingly endless time. Until, at such a point as the world had been defaced so badly that fields of fire covered the surface, (but only where disgusting, merky, poisonous water didn't collect of course) Diablo stopped and exclaimed:

"I hope never to see you, you make of this land what you will. I despise the thought of working, no, seeing you ever again. I shall find my own world..."

Deus too new that the damage was irreperable and no sooner nor later than at this point did he return with:

"Good. I hope you're happy that you single handedly ruined what could have been true perfection."

In a sudden flash, the mutilated world was abandonned by both, forever. It brings tears to my eyes to have watched such an event, not least the sight of the crust oozing out blood and weeping dirty water through the devastating pain it was experiencing.

May we learn from this, and go on forth in co-operation with others to strive for perfection. For you now know that there is a dark and unhappy future awaiting anything that is not crafted with deserved care.

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