Last night it was my friend Ben's 19th and, as is the tradition, we planned a big night out in Leeds to celebrate. The night started in the overpriced but always enjoyable Hard Rock cafe, where we managed to swindle a few free shots of Jagermeister due to knowing the bar guy and it being Ben's birthday. At Hard Rock Jagermeister is around £3.50 a shot (yeah, it's damn expensive) so it made the freebie all the more delicious.
We set off down to the train station to meet this girl with Ben. They'd met on the Internet, blah blah blah and it was his first time meeting her. I had a bet with a guy called Colson she had facial hair. I lost. I bought Colson a drink. I was in a somewhat generous mood after realising, after 1 and a half years of being a cashier, you can tell the customer the price and pocket the money if the manager isn't there.
Somehow we ended up at a rock/metal club called Bar Phono at half nine, entry was only £1 and any vodka and mixer. This is where Vodka and Tizer was discovered. I urge you to try it, it's delicious. The night went as usual, I fell on my ass dancing, I sang Rage Against The Machine with some guys I've never met before and a fat girl tried to dance with us. However the normality all changed when a girl smashed a glass over her boyfriends head. I've really never seen a girl go so crazy, she was clawing him and stamping him with her big goth boot things and he was bleeding pretty nastily.
I realised that this is Leeds and this happens all the time and we headed to subway, which is craftily open until 3am on a weekend. Instead of having to fork out for a taxi we headed for the Nightrider bus, dubbed ' The Fightrider' because there are always drunk guys brawling on it. It just so happened that tonight was our night.
In the queue for the bus my pretty wasted and eternally loud friend Lewis was talking about Guisely (an area of Leeds) where he was brought up. Once we'd got on the bus this skinhead sudo-hardman waltzed over and said "If you don't stop talking about Guisely I'm gonna kill you".
Trying to reason with this threat got Lewis nowhere, the assclown's only responses were "shut up" and "I'm gunna kill you". Then he made his biggest mistake. He lashed out and punched Colson in the face. Colson, a 5 foot six skinny guy who had sat there quietly doing nothing, the smallest guy in the group and therefore the easy target. Well, if he hadn't spent the better part of his life doin martial arts, perhaps. Skinny guys don't fight like bigger blokes. They go crazier. The assclown was trying to mimic football factors and dishing out headbutts, and Colson landed a few punches on his guys nose and burst it like a tomato. I was sat on the seat behind and got a healthy spraw of blood on my hands and shirt. This lasted only about 5 seconds and as the rest of out group stood up he half ran half stumbled down the bus to his seat.
Now you'd think that this would shut him up for the rest of the journey, but you'd be sorely mistaken.
"I'm going to kill you once you get off the bus"
"blah blah drunken blah"
There were a group of about 6 with the assclown, compared to four of us on the bus (discounting Ben's ladyfriend). However onto the bus came a guy I recognised but didn't know by name, but he knew my other friends. A 6-foot-8 black guy with dreads (this becomes relevant later).
The assclown kept throwing his crappy insults at us and it esculated to racist insults being thrown at the black guy, ending with them making monkey-noises. The black guy just sat there staring at them, calm and composed as ever. As the bus neared our stop the general consensus of out group was "I hope they get off the bus with us". We gladly invited them off when it came to our stop and then it all began. Assclown ran down the bus with a few of his equally assclown friends and we started exchanging punches. Then, this guy that none of us knew and looked like he belonged in the military ran upstairs pushed people out of the way and grabbed assclown #1 by the throat and lifted him up. Cue assclown bursting into tears and wetting himself. He threw him down the aisle of the bus, his friends sat quietly down and we got off at our stop. Still brandishing a half squashed subway sandwich.
The moral of the story?
Racism makes people angry?
Don't punch the little guy?
Don't take a 6-inch sub into a fist fight on a moving bus?
Make your own mind up.
I got really, really drunk on JD and kissed lots of girls in the flat below.
Can't remember much, kinda don't want to meet them today.
Last night at work I had to clean vents with bleach. 3 bottles of it, added to boiling water makes some killer fumes.
I'm hungover as hell
> More importantly than all this fighting, was the random internet girl
What was more impressive was the person who managed to keep it down the longest (about 5 minutes)
> Chr1s wrote:
> A nice cold Stella is far more enjoyable.
> aren't you like 12?
I'm too cool for school though, that's why.