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I’ve been rolling with the Rose Tints for a few days now. This is the first chance I’ve had to write - it’s been crazy as a liver in a spergbucket hanging out with these guys. It has emerged that the one with the beard and long hair is the leader. His name is Johnny Dong Dong, and from what I have been able to gather he is obsessed with shiny things. We roam from town to town on our bikes looking for shiny things and breaking things. Johnny also likes old episodes of Only Fools and Horses, so last night we stole Rodney, which was quite fun because we got to break down the door to his house in Grimsby. As I’m sure you know, ever since the Bacon Tax of 1602 was introduced in Grimsby they have used piles of calculators instead of doors, and as I’m sure you know it really is brilliant fun to kick over piles of calculators.
We go to the strangest of places and pick up the strangest of chicks. The Rose Tints call women ‘chicks’. The also call chickens ‘women’. So we eat women and have sex with chicks. Except the word they use for intercourse is ’screw’, which means we screw chicks and when we want to put a picture up with have sex with it to hang it on the wall. The Rose Tints take a lot of drugs, amphetamines especially. They claim they haven’t slept for over twenty years.
The ultimate goal of the Rose Tints is to go to Mexico because a wandering antelope once told Johnny Dong Dong that Mexico was built entirely of shiny things. Apparently a few years ago they built an enormous ramp in Portsmouth from the body of Richie from the Manic Street Preachers and and an elderly Frenchman. Prior to my involvement with the Rose Tints I had attempted to do some background research on this ramp. I went around Portsmouth asking local residents what they knew about it. They all looked terrified and refused to comment, except for one man who asked me to rape him with a stick (which I declined to do, becasue I believe sticks are holy to the great lord and savoir of mankind Aphex Twin) and another who told me to kill Chris Martin (which I did, because Chris Martin is a twit).
The ramp plan was a disaster, mostly because the ramp faced in entirely the wrong direction, leading the biker gang to land in Spain. They did quite liked Spain, mostly because the locals who had seen them land worshipped them as gods. They still do want to go to Mexico….
Balls, this is supposed to be about soap isn’t it?
Right.
Whilst the Rose Tints were in Spain they decided to destroy a large oil refinery. They did so, using kicking mostly, and got rather messy. Then they bought some soap from a large American monk. It was hairy soap, which is probably the worst type of soap you can get, so they battered the large American monk. Battered in the fish and chips sense of the word, of course.
In the words of the great Mark Twain,
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run. ” He was clearly wrong. The Rose Tints took these words to heart and decided to experiment by beating people with soap and education instead of their usual chains and poles. It was a failure. So the Rose Tints battered Mark Twain and came up with some wisdom of thier own.
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly if you replace soap with a chip shop and educated with a deep fat fryer.”
We go to the strangest of places and pick up the strangest of chicks. The Rose Tints call women ‘chicks’. The also call chickens ‘women’. So we eat women and have sex with chicks. Except the word they use for intercourse is ’screw’, which means we screw chicks and when we want to put a picture up with have sex with it to hang it on the wall. The Rose Tints take a lot of drugs, amphetamines especially. They claim they haven’t slept for over twenty years.
The ultimate goal of the Rose Tints is to go to Mexico because a wandering antelope once told Johnny Dong Dong that Mexico was built entirely of shiny things. Apparently a few years ago they built an enormous ramp in Portsmouth from the body of Richie from the Manic Street Preachers and and an elderly Frenchman. Prior to my involvement with the Rose Tints I had attempted to do some background research on this ramp. I went around Portsmouth asking local residents what they knew about it. They all looked terrified and refused to comment, except for one man who asked me to rape him with a stick (which I declined to do, becasue I believe sticks are holy to the great lord and savoir of mankind Aphex Twin) and another who told me to kill Chris Martin (which I did, because Chris Martin is a twit).
The ramp plan was a disaster, mostly because the ramp faced in entirely the wrong direction, leading the biker gang to land in Spain. They did quite liked Spain, mostly because the locals who had seen them land worshipped them as gods. They still do want to go to Mexico….
Balls, this is supposed to be about soap isn’t it?
Right.
Whilst the Rose Tints were in Spain they decided to destroy a large oil refinery. They did so, using kicking mostly, and got rather messy. Then they bought some soap from a large American monk. It was hairy soap, which is probably the worst type of soap you can get, so they battered the large American monk. Battered in the fish and chips sense of the word, of course.
In the words of the great Mark Twain,
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run. ” He was clearly wrong. The Rose Tints took these words to heart and decided to experiment by beating people with soap and education instead of their usual chains and poles. It was a failure. So the Rose Tints battered Mark Twain and came up with some wisdom of thier own.
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly if you replace soap with a chip shop and educated with a deep fat fryer.”
> OddToe wrote:
> I ate pube encrusted soap.
You sick puppy.
> I ate pube encrusted soap.
You sick puppy.
The thing about the doors in Grimsby is true.
Yar :(
Yar :(
Ah. Typical Mouldy Cheese.
Great.
Great.
It's Mouldy Cheese, what did you expect.
Keep it coming.
Keep it coming.
OddToe wrote:
> I hate pube encrusted soap.
don't worry, you'll get your own soon.
> I hate pube encrusted soap.
don't worry, you'll get your own soon.
It's zany, that's as polite as I can manage
I don't...understand?
Zany
I hate pube encrusted soap.
I’ve been rolling with the Rose Tints for a few days now. This is the first chance I’ve had to write - it’s been crazy as a liver in a spergbucket hanging out with these guys. It has emerged that the one with the beard and long hair is the leader. His name is Johnny Dong Dong, and from what I have been able to gather he is obsessed with shiny things. We roam from town to town on our bikes looking for shiny things and breaking things. Johnny also likes old episodes of Only Fools and Horses, so last night we stole Rodney, which was quite fun because we got to break down the door to his house in Grimsby. As I’m sure you know, ever since the Bacon Tax of 1602 was introduced in Grimsby they have used piles of calculators instead of doors, and as I’m sure you know it really is brilliant fun to kick over piles of calculators.
We go to the strangest of places and pick up the strangest of chicks. The Rose Tints call women ‘chicks’. The also call chickens ‘women’. So we eat women and have sex with chicks. Except the word they use for intercourse is ’screw’, which means we screw chicks and when we want to put a picture up with have sex with it to hang it on the wall. The Rose Tints take a lot of drugs, amphetamines especially. They claim they haven’t slept for over twenty years.
The ultimate goal of the Rose Tints is to go to Mexico because a wandering antelope once told Johnny Dong Dong that Mexico was built entirely of shiny things. Apparently a few years ago they built an enormous ramp in Portsmouth from the body of Richie from the Manic Street Preachers and and an elderly Frenchman. Prior to my involvement with the Rose Tints I had attempted to do some background research on this ramp. I went around Portsmouth asking local residents what they knew about it. They all looked terrified and refused to comment, except for one man who asked me to rape him with a stick (which I declined to do, becasue I believe sticks are holy to the great lord and savoir of mankind Aphex Twin) and another who told me to kill Chris Martin (which I did, because Chris Martin is a twit).
The ramp plan was a disaster, mostly because the ramp faced in entirely the wrong direction, leading the biker gang to land in Spain. They did quite liked Spain, mostly because the locals who had seen them land worshipped them as gods. They still do want to go to Mexico….
Balls, this is supposed to be about soap isn’t it?
Right.
Whilst the Rose Tints were in Spain they decided to destroy a large oil refinery. They did so, using kicking mostly, and got rather messy. Then they bought some soap from a large American monk. It was hairy soap, which is probably the worst type of soap you can get, so they battered the large American monk. Battered in the fish and chips sense of the word, of course.
In the words of the great Mark Twain,
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run. ” He was clearly wrong. The Rose Tints took these words to heart and decided to experiment by beating people with soap and education instead of their usual chains and poles. It was a failure. So the Rose Tints battered Mark Twain and came up with some wisdom of thier own.
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly if you replace soap with a chip shop and educated with a deep fat fryer.”
We go to the strangest of places and pick up the strangest of chicks. The Rose Tints call women ‘chicks’. The also call chickens ‘women’. So we eat women and have sex with chicks. Except the word they use for intercourse is ’screw’, which means we screw chicks and when we want to put a picture up with have sex with it to hang it on the wall. The Rose Tints take a lot of drugs, amphetamines especially. They claim they haven’t slept for over twenty years.
The ultimate goal of the Rose Tints is to go to Mexico because a wandering antelope once told Johnny Dong Dong that Mexico was built entirely of shiny things. Apparently a few years ago they built an enormous ramp in Portsmouth from the body of Richie from the Manic Street Preachers and and an elderly Frenchman. Prior to my involvement with the Rose Tints I had attempted to do some background research on this ramp. I went around Portsmouth asking local residents what they knew about it. They all looked terrified and refused to comment, except for one man who asked me to rape him with a stick (which I declined to do, becasue I believe sticks are holy to the great lord and savoir of mankind Aphex Twin) and another who told me to kill Chris Martin (which I did, because Chris Martin is a twit).
The ramp plan was a disaster, mostly because the ramp faced in entirely the wrong direction, leading the biker gang to land in Spain. They did quite liked Spain, mostly because the locals who had seen them land worshipped them as gods. They still do want to go to Mexico….
Balls, this is supposed to be about soap isn’t it?
Right.
Whilst the Rose Tints were in Spain they decided to destroy a large oil refinery. They did so, using kicking mostly, and got rather messy. Then they bought some soap from a large American monk. It was hairy soap, which is probably the worst type of soap you can get, so they battered the large American monk. Battered in the fish and chips sense of the word, of course.
In the words of the great Mark Twain,
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run. ” He was clearly wrong. The Rose Tints took these words to heart and decided to experiment by beating people with soap and education instead of their usual chains and poles. It was a failure. So the Rose Tints battered Mark Twain and came up with some wisdom of thier own.
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly if you replace soap with a chip shop and educated with a deep fat fryer.”