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He walked along the ice trying not to slip he had to get to the snow but he couldn’t he tried to jump. But tripped and landed hard on the ice smacking his nose he heard the bones crack in his nose and then blood splattered out. He crawled over to the snow dripping blood in the snow. He had been walking through the snow for days now. Trying to find human life but he had found none yet.
He had been flying to the Antarctic when there was turbulence on the plane and it crashed killing everybody on the plane except him he was the only survivor. So as Robert dragged his self along the snow holding on to his nose he reached forward and grabbed a piece of ice from the floor he held it in his gloved hands. So he could put it on to his bleeding nose he pushed the piece of ice on to his nose. Hoping the bleeding would stop.
He needed more food supplies he had only got a couple of food supplies from the plan and now only had a chocolate bar and a ketchup sandwich left. Yes you are probably wondering why he has a ketchup sandwich. This is because another one of the explorers he was with loved ketchup. Ketchup on his cereal, ketchup to drink, Ketchup bars he made him self. He was a very strange man, Roberts belly started to rumble.
He got his bag off his back and pulled out the ketchup sandwich and swallowing it in one big go. It made him feel very refreshed and he had a nice big smile on his face he then grabbed the chocolate bar ripped the wrapper of then gulped it down. Now no more food left which was now making Robert very unhappy. He got off his knees now and stopped crawling. But he had left a trail of blood in the snow behind him in the nice white snow it was now red from the blood.
He started running through the snow he thought he had heard a bark. Yes there it went again at last Rob had found life. He was going to be rescued he kept on running but then he saw what was barking. Oh god it wasn’t rescue dogs it was wild wolfs then they started howling he ran for it. What was he going to do?
To Be Continued……..
He had been flying to the Antarctic when there was turbulence on the plane and it crashed killing everybody on the plane except him he was the only survivor. So as Robert dragged his self along the snow holding on to his nose he reached forward and grabbed a piece of ice from the floor he held it in his gloved hands. So he could put it on to his bleeding nose he pushed the piece of ice on to his nose. Hoping the bleeding would stop.
He needed more food supplies he had only got a couple of food supplies from the plan and now only had a chocolate bar and a ketchup sandwich left. Yes you are probably wondering why he has a ketchup sandwich. This is because another one of the explorers he was with loved ketchup. Ketchup on his cereal, ketchup to drink, Ketchup bars he made him self. He was a very strange man, Roberts belly started to rumble.
He got his bag off his back and pulled out the ketchup sandwich and swallowing it in one big go. It made him feel very refreshed and he had a nice big smile on his face he then grabbed the chocolate bar ripped the wrapper of then gulped it down. Now no more food left which was now making Robert very unhappy. He got off his knees now and stopped crawling. But he had left a trail of blood in the snow behind him in the nice white snow it was now red from the blood.
He started running through the snow he thought he had heard a bark. Yes there it went again at last Rob had found life. He was going to be rescued he kept on running but then he saw what was barking. Oh god it wasn’t rescue dogs it was wild wolfs then they started howling he ran for it. What was he going to do?
To Be Continued……..
I think he meant just putting ice on the wound like you do for bruises and stuff, but whatever.
Wandering for days in the snow? Surely he would have frozen long before now, or been in a considerably worse state, as I don't assume he had suitable clothing for an Antartic trek.
Plus with splitting the story the atmosphere - what little there was of it - is all blown, as I'll read something else inbetween, no doubt. If splittign a story into parts, it's best to have some kind of substance to each part if you also want them to stand alone - this has to be contunued as it simply does not finish. If you could end a story and leave it open for a sequel, fine, but this is just an unfinished story.
Plus with splitting the story the atmosphere - what little there was of it - is all blown, as I'll read something else inbetween, no doubt. If splittign a story into parts, it's best to have some kind of substance to each part if you also want them to stand alone - this has to be contunued as it simply does not finish. If you could end a story and leave it open for a sequel, fine, but this is just an unfinished story.
Ok my next story will be like that I promise its going to be finished in a minute.
Reading the title of SSC31 ("snow") and then choosing the title of your story as including the word "Antartic" in it. Titles are supposed to entice you a little, draw you in, and keep some mysetery reserved for later in the story; perhaps being a subtle hint to the deeper meaning.
Alas, you're stories don't contain the above criteria anyway, something which you fail to comprehend again and again. I used to attempt reading the stories but the punctuation is haphazard, making it virtually unreadable, and there just isn't any entertainment value at all.
Alas, you're stories don't contain the above criteria anyway, something which you fail to comprehend again and again. I used to attempt reading the stories but the punctuation is haphazard, making it virtually unreadable, and there just isn't any entertainment value at all.
No I take much longer on the second part.
Crossbob you might be better not doing all these parts to your stories as if the first one comes off badly it means you're going to work from a bad begining you'll probably write it quickly and then you just end up with 2 bad parts to one poor story.
He put the ice on his nose not up his nose and the part two will be better. I promise.
Stuffing a piece of ice up his nose to stop it bleeding... does he not have a tissue or something?
Anyway, the punctuation is still as scatty as a mad bat, but your stuff does have an entertainment value. This, however, isn't one of your best, as I didn't laugh once.
Anyway, the punctuation is still as scatty as a mad bat, but your stuff does have an entertainment value. This, however, isn't one of your best, as I didn't laugh once.
He walked along the ice trying not to slip he had to get to the snow but he couldn’t he tried to jump. But tripped and landed hard on the ice smacking his nose he heard the bones crack in his nose and then blood splattered out. He crawled over to the snow dripping blood in the snow. He had been walking through the snow for days now. Trying to find human life but he had found none yet.
He had been flying to the Antarctic when there was turbulence on the plane and it crashed killing everybody on the plane except him he was the only survivor. So as Robert dragged his self along the snow holding on to his nose he reached forward and grabbed a piece of ice from the floor he held it in his gloved hands. So he could put it on to his bleeding nose he pushed the piece of ice on to his nose. Hoping the bleeding would stop.
He needed more food supplies he had only got a couple of food supplies from the plan and now only had a chocolate bar and a ketchup sandwich left. Yes you are probably wondering why he has a ketchup sandwich. This is because another one of the explorers he was with loved ketchup. Ketchup on his cereal, ketchup to drink, Ketchup bars he made him self. He was a very strange man, Roberts belly started to rumble.
He got his bag off his back and pulled out the ketchup sandwich and swallowing it in one big go. It made him feel very refreshed and he had a nice big smile on his face he then grabbed the chocolate bar ripped the wrapper of then gulped it down. Now no more food left which was now making Robert very unhappy. He got off his knees now and stopped crawling. But he had left a trail of blood in the snow behind him in the nice white snow it was now red from the blood.
He started running through the snow he thought he had heard a bark. Yes there it went again at last Rob had found life. He was going to be rescued he kept on running but then he saw what was barking. Oh god it wasn’t rescue dogs it was wild wolfs then they started howling he ran for it. What was he going to do?
To Be Continued……..
He had been flying to the Antarctic when there was turbulence on the plane and it crashed killing everybody on the plane except him he was the only survivor. So as Robert dragged his self along the snow holding on to his nose he reached forward and grabbed a piece of ice from the floor he held it in his gloved hands. So he could put it on to his bleeding nose he pushed the piece of ice on to his nose. Hoping the bleeding would stop.
He needed more food supplies he had only got a couple of food supplies from the plan and now only had a chocolate bar and a ketchup sandwich left. Yes you are probably wondering why he has a ketchup sandwich. This is because another one of the explorers he was with loved ketchup. Ketchup on his cereal, ketchup to drink, Ketchup bars he made him self. He was a very strange man, Roberts belly started to rumble.
He got his bag off his back and pulled out the ketchup sandwich and swallowing it in one big go. It made him feel very refreshed and he had a nice big smile on his face he then grabbed the chocolate bar ripped the wrapper of then gulped it down. Now no more food left which was now making Robert very unhappy. He got off his knees now and stopped crawling. But he had left a trail of blood in the snow behind him in the nice white snow it was now red from the blood.
He started running through the snow he thought he had heard a bark. Yes there it went again at last Rob had found life. He was going to be rescued he kept on running but then he saw what was barking. Oh god it wasn’t rescue dogs it was wild wolfs then they started howling he ran for it. What was he going to do?
To Be Continued……..