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"SSC 31 The Christmas Period ( the adventures of JimbobJones)"

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Tue 30/08/05 at 11:13
Regular
"Funky Gibon"
Posts: 473
As it goes from december the cristmas period starts.But no-one knew how stressful this would be more than any other.
Jimbob Jones knew as little as other people about what would happen in the next month. Jimbob worked for an detective agency ( he had not decided on a name) in Lapland where father christmas lives. As christmas is a joyful time of year, Jimbob didn't expect any trouble for him to investigate. Jimbob was low on funds and decided to become a dress up father christmas for the children and earn some money to advertise for his company.
Jimbob thought this work was very rewarding and the money was alright. Jimbob got back to the office to check his work mail and see if anything had occured and check the news. To his disbelief he had a recieved an email asking for his help on a possible murder investigation.
Jimbob was still dressed as father christmas as he went to help at the scene of crime. In Lapland you would presume there would be snow and you presumed right as there was loads of the white stuff. ( Don't eat yellow snow).
When he got to the scene the police explained how they found BLOOD IN THE SNOW. They suspected that it could had been a murder of the human form or the animal form in so they brang the RSPCA just in case. The blood was alot but they still took samples to see what it was. They searched around but found nothing apart from an old tampax and a shoe.
Results from the lab said it was female blood and was severe bleeding. They went to the hospital to see if anyone had been put in due to stabbing or severe bleeding but there was no new patients. As Jimbob looked around he saw the maternity unit and saw a women holding a baby but the women was being treated with frost byte. Jimbob was not the smartest but managed to put two and two together ( after some help by the nurses) and relised the women had her baby on the snow and bleed quite alot and got the frost byte from lying on the floor whilst having the baby.
Jimbob told the story to the police and they picked up quite easily before he had finished the story.
Jimbob still hadn't named his agency and he relised he was still wearing his father christmas outfit and named it Father Christmas Detective Agency
Sat 10/09/05 at 17:45
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
Hmm, yeah, bit of a non-story.
And you need to learn a bit about the birds and the bees.
Sat 10/09/05 at 09:17
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Not bad, quite fun, but could have done with a bit more tension, or something. The blood in the snow should have been a bigger thing, but it was just a bit matter of fact.
Wed 31/08/05 at 13:55
Regular
"Laughingstock"
Posts: 3,522
Surely there's only one person who dresses up as Father Christmas in Lapland, and that's the big guy himself!

As for the story... it was a bit forced, a bit all-and-nothing, though not totally bad. I would've made more use of the Tampax. The detective stumbles upon 10,000 Tampaxes in the snow... "What the hell went on here!?!" -

On second thoughts, maybe not.
Wed 31/08/05 at 12:55
Regular
"Funky Gibon"
Posts: 473
Ineedslpeep i hope you will add this one when the competition ends.
Tue 30/08/05 at 11:13
Regular
"Funky Gibon"
Posts: 473
As it goes from december the cristmas period starts.But no-one knew how stressful this would be more than any other.
Jimbob Jones knew as little as other people about what would happen in the next month. Jimbob worked for an detective agency ( he had not decided on a name) in Lapland where father christmas lives. As christmas is a joyful time of year, Jimbob didn't expect any trouble for him to investigate. Jimbob was low on funds and decided to become a dress up father christmas for the children and earn some money to advertise for his company.
Jimbob thought this work was very rewarding and the money was alright. Jimbob got back to the office to check his work mail and see if anything had occured and check the news. To his disbelief he had a recieved an email asking for his help on a possible murder investigation.
Jimbob was still dressed as father christmas as he went to help at the scene of crime. In Lapland you would presume there would be snow and you presumed right as there was loads of the white stuff. ( Don't eat yellow snow).
When he got to the scene the police explained how they found BLOOD IN THE SNOW. They suspected that it could had been a murder of the human form or the animal form in so they brang the RSPCA just in case. The blood was alot but they still took samples to see what it was. They searched around but found nothing apart from an old tampax and a shoe.
Results from the lab said it was female blood and was severe bleeding. They went to the hospital to see if anyone had been put in due to stabbing or severe bleeding but there was no new patients. As Jimbob looked around he saw the maternity unit and saw a women holding a baby but the women was being treated with frost byte. Jimbob was not the smartest but managed to put two and two together ( after some help by the nurses) and relised the women had her baby on the snow and bleed quite alot and got the frost byte from lying on the floor whilst having the baby.
Jimbob told the story to the police and they picked up quite easily before he had finished the story.
Jimbob still hadn't named his agency and he relised he was still wearing his father christmas outfit and named it Father Christmas Detective Agency

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