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"SSC28 Jeliah- My Friend of a Friend"

A friend of a friend told me she was dying.

She said she was losing the will to live. She said the veil of darkness was looming overhead like a thunderstorm brewing in the heavens. It was unsettling to say the least, that those most powerful were considering the idea in their minds in the upper echelons of the kingdom of the gods, just exactly when they would take her life. The gods considered Jeliah's entity to be a gaping pocket from which an artful dodger wouldn't even break a sweat over. It was just that easy for her to be ascending to another level within the time that the next fraction of light would be received by your or my eye. Blink, and Jeliah would be deflated on the floor like a slaughtered lamb at the alter, for those, above us all, to debate.

A friend of a friend said she had visions.

Tonight was the night, she assured me. By dawn she'd be gone, she wailed. But she would resist. She would be obstinate to the commands of the sirens of the heavens. Her heart beat would slow and her organs would fail, but she would be obdurate. Each god would have a part to play in constructing her fate. And each was more accurate than even the most skilled cartographers melded into one gargantuan, divine being. They overlooked all, yet had an infinite store and an ultimate control of time. So each and every matter was debated in this way, because each decision had to be trusted in by man and animal alike. Every decision was never questioned as the gods were omnipotent. They and only they had the right and ability to decide such matters. Man had no chance of even being able to fathom such matters and the fate of individual beings.

A friend of a friend received my sympathy.

But I could do no more. I felt absolutely helpless. In fairness I was. And if the scales had settled and if the matter was no longer in the balance, there was nothing I could do. I had no chance to make an informed decision, on the scale of Jeliah's loss of life, as the gods; but I had to act. I had to do something.

A friend of a friend lay on her death bed and awaited her imminent flash of pure white light.

So as the moon glided through the night sky, the stars made way. The beaming crescent was a timer which the gods had to abide by if she was to receive her fate by morn. I could stand no more. I left her side and relinquished my grip of her right hand. I returned to my hut through the shrouding darkness.

Under candle light I slid my sleeve up my left arm. The back of my hand resting on a stone and my lighter skinned underside facing up. In the flickering light, I grabbed my blade which lay on the ground to my right side. I closed my eyes and raised my head, to consider Jeliah's situation one final time and to confirm my actions in my own mind.

I then faced down, rose the blade and tensed my muscles before plunging it headlong into my wrist and my veins.

But my hand resisted. It froze a minute distance away from my wrist. I rose it up again and thrust it down again. But to my disbelief and relief, there was no difference. The gods must still not have made their decision! Her life was still in the balance! I was amazed. I had intended for my actions to confuse and disturb the thought process of the gods. I was trying to do all I could. I rose it again just to check that it was not of my own doing that the blade was not sinking. Again I forced the knife down.

This time it sunk in. This time my wrist was severed. By this time, the gods had made their decision. They had used the infinitely big yet seemingly tiny space of time to conclude the matter.

As my blood flowed like a river from my arm, I began to fade away. I began to drown in the darkness and sink from the surface of reality. But I felt Jeliah's presence enter my hut and scream with exuberance, then with shock and grief and pain weaved through her words. She collapsed by my side and clenched my hand. My digits twitched. I subsided until the pure white light took over my view. I was the sacrifice of the gods for my friend of a friend. I am sure they debated over me. I would never question whether they took the easy way out. They had a divine ability and I would rightly ascend, as their decision is always just.

A friend of a friend told me she was dying.

She said she was losing the will to live. She said the veil of darkness was looming overhead like a thunderstorm brewing in the heavens. It was unsettling to say the least, that those most powerful were considering the idea in their minds in the upper echelons of the kingdom of the gods, just exactly when they would take her life. The gods considered Jeliah's entity to be a gaping pocket from which an artful dodger wouldn't even break a sweat over. It was just that easy for her to be ascending to another level within the time that the next fraction of light would be received by your or my eye. Blink, and Jeliah would be deflated on the floor like a slaughtered lamb at the alter, for those, above us all, to debate.

A friend of a friend said she had visions.

Tonight was the night, she assured me. By dawn she'd be gone, she wailed. But she would resist. She would be obstinate to the commands of the sirens of the heavens. Her heart beat would slow and her organs would fail, but she would be obdurate. Each god would have a part to play in constructing her fate. And each was more accurate than even the most skilled cartographers melded into one gargantuan, divine being. They overlooked all, yet had an infinite store and an ultimate control of time. So each and every matter was debated in this way, because each decision had to be trusted in by man and animal alike. Every decision was never questioned as the gods were omnipotent. They and only they had the right and ability to decide such matters. Man had no chance of even being able to fathom such matters and the fate of individual beings.

A friend of a friend received my sympathy.

But I could do no more. I felt absolutely helpless. In fairness I was. And if the scales had settled and if the matter was no longer in the balance, there was nothing I could do. I had no chance to make an informed decision, on the scale of Jeliah's loss of life, as the gods; but I had to act. I had to do something.

A friend of a friend lay on her death bed and awaited her imminent flash of pure white light.

So as the moon glided through the night sky, the stars made way. The beaming crescent was a timer which the gods had to abide by if she was to receive her fate by morn. I could stand no more. I left her side and relinquished my grip of her right hand. I returned to my hut through the shrouding darkness.

Under candle light I slid my sleeve up my left arm. The back of my hand resting on a stone and my lighter skinned underside facing up. In the flickering light, I grabbed my blade which lay on the ground to my right side. I closed my eyes and raised my head, to consider Jeliah's situation one final time and to confirm my actions in my own mind.

I then faced down, rose the blade and tensed my muscles before plunging it headlong into my wrist and my veins.

But my hand resisted. It froze a minute distance away from my wrist. I rose it up again and thrust it down again. But to my disbelief and relief, there was no difference. The gods must still not have made their decision! Her life was still in the balance! I was amazed. I had intended for my actions to confuse and disturb the thought process of the gods. I was trying to do all I could. I rose it again just to check that it was not of my own doing that the blade was not sinking. Again I forced the knife down.

This time it sunk in. This time my wrist was severed. By this time, the gods had made their decision. They had used the infinitely big yet seemingly tiny space of time to conclude the matter.

As my blood flowed like a river from my arm, I began to fade away. I began to drown in the darkness and sink from the surface of reality. But I felt Jeliah's presence enter my hut and scream with exuberance, then with shock and grief and pain weaved through her words. She collapsed by my side and clenched my hand. My digits twitched. I subsided until the pure white light took over my view. I was the sacrifice of the gods for my friend of a friend. I am sure they debated over me. I would never question whether they took the easy way out. They had a divine ability and I would rightly ascend, as their decision is always just.

I enjoyed this. The repetition of 'a friend of a friend' is effective in introducing those early paragraphs, though I felt the first couple were a little words. In my opinion in gets better when he kicks into action, and seemingly his decision is not his own when he first attempts suicide.

Nice to get a positive comment.

:)

It's all so sad! Where are the happy stories :'(
It is quite well written though.

Oh and there, their, they're. Learn it!

Oh God I haven't, have I?

:'{

Damn.

EDIT:

Meh. I only did it once thankfully.

Nice, a little depressing and bible-bashy, but nice. :)

I really liked that - the pace was excellent.
I think perhaps something else was needed just before he acted - it was a bit abrupt. Maybe a paragraph of his thoughts, or just a few line of definance to the gods.

Otherwise, nice one.

Thanks.

I always aim to give my pieces a twist and this was no exception.