Viewing Thread:
""Loving Feeling""

Had to write a poem for school...what do you guys think of this...

From the moment our eyes first met
I knew you were for me
Your love is what I had to get
It was so plain to see

Everytime you turn me down
You make me wait much longer
But everytime you look at me
You make me that much stronger

I don’t know what’s wrong with me
Why wont you give me a trial
You’d see the fun that I can be
And even make you smile

I cannot live without your touch
Your presence I desire
I need you here for me to clutch
Without you life is dire

I would give you love and affection
Let me be your protection
You’re the priority in my soul
My one and only precious goal

Come to me and bring your love
As I have love for you
You’re an angel from above
I stick to you like glue

I see your halo and your wings
The harp your hands do play
I think about you constantly
Every second, every day

You are the best in my eyes
I want you to love and cherish
We will never say goodbyes
Until the day we perish

You deserve someone faithful and true
Who will treat you with respect
I hope to be the one for you
So please do not reject.

To my fire you are the fuel
To my rag you are the bull
You are the north to my south
Taste the kisses from my mouth

You are the support beneath my feet
Please don’t let me drop
Love is an emotion I cannot beat
I can’t just make it stop

I’ve loved you from the beginning
I’ll love you till the end
If loving you is sinning
An apology I send
I cannot help but love you
It comes so naturally
I don’t know what else to do
Apart from let it be.


What do you think? Any reccomendations?

I certainly do - when I write, I don't pick every word out by hand and agonise about it for ages, I just write down whatever sounds good. I doubt anyone else is so different.

I hate the way in schools you get the teachers saying "this word was used because it portrays agony" and i think to myself "no it wasnt, it was used to rhyme and now you stupid teachers are trying to make up reasons why it was used" people can analyse things too far.

Because it generally sucks, and anyone can write it with little / no skill.

And poets are nobbers.
Write a proper story, guys. Not "ooh, look, I wrote about a tree!" and have everyone assram you until your next amazing innovation.

Cheers

How comes you dont like poetry?

Well ... it's a poem.
And I don't like poetry.

But apart from that, I suppose it was good - love and all that.

Had to write a poem for school...what do you guys think of this...

From the moment our eyes first met
I knew you were for me
Your love is what I had to get
It was so plain to see

Everytime you turn me down
You make me wait much longer
But everytime you look at me
You make me that much stronger

I don’t know what’s wrong with me
Why wont you give me a trial
You’d see the fun that I can be
And even make you smile

I cannot live without your touch
Your presence I desire
I need you here for me to clutch
Without you life is dire

I would give you love and affection
Let me be your protection
You’re the priority in my soul
My one and only precious goal

Come to me and bring your love
As I have love for you
You’re an angel from above
I stick to you like glue

I see your halo and your wings
The harp your hands do play
I think about you constantly
Every second, every day

You are the best in my eyes
I want you to love and cherish
We will never say goodbyes
Until the day we perish

You deserve someone faithful and true
Who will treat you with respect
I hope to be the one for you
So please do not reject.

To my fire you are the fuel
To my rag you are the bull
You are the north to my south
Taste the kisses from my mouth

You are the support beneath my feet
Please don’t let me drop
Love is an emotion I cannot beat
I can’t just make it stop

I’ve loved you from the beginning
I’ll love you till the end
If loving you is sinning
An apology I send
I cannot help but love you
It comes so naturally
I don’t know what else to do
Apart from let it be.


What do you think? Any reccomendations?