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Its nearly time. Do you see the light ? Embrace the light, look a little further down the tunnel. That's it.
This is were I've always been, I've watched you your whole life. What awaits you here is eternal bliss, take it soon, the end is nearly upon us
So much life, yet so little. Yes little one, come. Do you see the beauty ? That's it I see your smile. Hold on to the fleeting glimpse of this place and hold it tight against your heart through the darkest times
I'll be here when you need me, when the time comes. Look around. The foliage is exquisite, it never rains. It's not what your used to, see the natural wonders, far greater than anything you could ever have imagined, is it not ?!
No. Don't touch that tree. You may have and dine on anything else that is here, what's mine is yours. My one and only rule is that you never touch that tree, understand ? ... good.
It's been such a long time since the first were here, I fear I am more older and yet none the wiser in all that time. The vastness of my task weighs me down. But, let me look into your eyes ... yes ! I knew it, you are like him, but then again, you all are
Oh how I wish I hadn't cast them down. If only I'd know of the horrors that would await them and their children. So much bloodshed, so much anger, so much hatred ... and from one as small as yourselves
But you must go now. It is not your time. I shall explain all later when we meet again. Until then, goodbye my son. Do not fear.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Yes it's my second SSC25 entry but get over it
This is were I've always been, I've watched you your whole life. What awaits you here is eternal bliss, take it soon, the end is nearly upon us
So much life, yet so little. Yes little one, come. Do you see the beauty ? That's it I see your smile. Hold on to the fleeting glimpse of this place and hold it tight against your heart through the darkest times
I'll be here when you need me, when the time comes. Look around. The foliage is exquisite, it never rains. It's not what your used to, see the natural wonders, far greater than anything you could ever have imagined, is it not ?!
No. Don't touch that tree. You may have and dine on anything else that is here, what's mine is yours. My one and only rule is that you never touch that tree, understand ? ... good.
It's been such a long time since the first were here, I fear I am more older and yet none the wiser in all that time. The vastness of my task weighs me down. But, let me look into your eyes ... yes ! I knew it, you are like him, but then again, you all are
Oh how I wish I hadn't cast them down. If only I'd know of the horrors that would await them and their children. So much bloodshed, so much anger, so much hatred ... and from one as small as yourselves
But you must go now. It is not your time. I shall explain all later when we meet again. Until then, goodbye my son. Do not fear.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Yes it's my second SSC25 entry but get over it
Yeah ... don't usually like the rewrites of Garden of Eden stuff really.
But it was nice to see it from the main man's perspective for a change - better than most.
But it was nice to see it from the main man's perspective for a change - better than most.
hm. I liked that. There have been a few Creation based stories in these competitions, but this is very accessible.
Nicely written...
Nicely written...
Good ol' Morgan Freeman, and I suppose you're right. The story was written to try and incorporate a modern style, and the sort of things God would actually say to someone.
As for the use of 'more older' that just wasn't phrased very well but to write something else somehow wouldn't have slotted in with the contemporary style and the overall 'feel' of the piece
As for the use of 'more older' that just wasn't phrased very well but to write something else somehow wouldn't have slotted in with the contemporary style and the overall 'feel' of the piece
That works quite well. Though it also reminded me of 'The Creator' in The Truman Show.
One thing, I don't think God would say "more older".
One thing, I don't think God would say "more older".
No, you're right
You got that pretty much 'spot on' to be honest
You got that pretty much 'spot on' to be honest
Just to make sure, I'm guessing your character is God?
If so, a nice perspective on it. I've often thought about writing as God, but I've never been entirely sure exactly how He would feel about us. It's an interesting angle you've used, one of...regret, I suppose, and although I think I would take the opposite route I felt it was a good effort.
I could be totally wrong. If so, ignore the above. :D
If so, a nice perspective on it. I've often thought about writing as God, but I've never been entirely sure exactly how He would feel about us. It's an interesting angle you've used, one of...regret, I suppose, and although I think I would take the opposite route I felt it was a good effort.
I could be totally wrong. If so, ignore the above. :D
Its nearly time. Do you see the light ? Embrace the light, look a little further down the tunnel. That's it.
This is were I've always been, I've watched you your whole life. What awaits you here is eternal bliss, take it soon, the end is nearly upon us
So much life, yet so little. Yes little one, come. Do you see the beauty ? That's it I see your smile. Hold on to the fleeting glimpse of this place and hold it tight against your heart through the darkest times
I'll be here when you need me, when the time comes. Look around. The foliage is exquisite, it never rains. It's not what your used to, see the natural wonders, far greater than anything you could ever have imagined, is it not ?!
No. Don't touch that tree. You may have and dine on anything else that is here, what's mine is yours. My one and only rule is that you never touch that tree, understand ? ... good.
It's been such a long time since the first were here, I fear I am more older and yet none the wiser in all that time. The vastness of my task weighs me down. But, let me look into your eyes ... yes ! I knew it, you are like him, but then again, you all are
Oh how I wish I hadn't cast them down. If only I'd know of the horrors that would await them and their children. So much bloodshed, so much anger, so much hatred ... and from one as small as yourselves
But you must go now. It is not your time. I shall explain all later when we meet again. Until then, goodbye my son. Do not fear.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Yes it's my second SSC25 entry but get over it
This is were I've always been, I've watched you your whole life. What awaits you here is eternal bliss, take it soon, the end is nearly upon us
So much life, yet so little. Yes little one, come. Do you see the beauty ? That's it I see your smile. Hold on to the fleeting glimpse of this place and hold it tight against your heart through the darkest times
I'll be here when you need me, when the time comes. Look around. The foliage is exquisite, it never rains. It's not what your used to, see the natural wonders, far greater than anything you could ever have imagined, is it not ?!
No. Don't touch that tree. You may have and dine on anything else that is here, what's mine is yours. My one and only rule is that you never touch that tree, understand ? ... good.
It's been such a long time since the first were here, I fear I am more older and yet none the wiser in all that time. The vastness of my task weighs me down. But, let me look into your eyes ... yes ! I knew it, you are like him, but then again, you all are
Oh how I wish I hadn't cast them down. If only I'd know of the horrors that would await them and their children. So much bloodshed, so much anger, so much hatred ... and from one as small as yourselves
But you must go now. It is not your time. I shall explain all later when we meet again. Until then, goodbye my son. Do not fear.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Yes it's my second SSC25 entry but get over it