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The final few were arranged in front of Liz and she had half an eye on them; anticipation almost too much to bear, making herself wait until the end before indulging herself. Suddenly a hand dipped over her shoulder and stole them from in front of her while laughter buzzed in her ear. The laughter faded quickly from her hearing as white hot anger and blind hatred closed down her senses. The laughter had been an obvious indication that Brian had given no consideration to the cruelty he had just inflicted and Liz had no doubt that his action had been instinctive rather than vindictive but this did not stop her plotting her revenge.
Images flooded her minds’ eye. Images of her dissecting his stomach and feeding the contents back to him. Another of her stabbing him again and again, while screaming ‘I hate you’ at him and yet another of her running him over in their car. Any image that ended in his death fed her satisfaction. She imagined his anguish as she jumped up and down on his precious collection of stupid Take That CDs. Of his tears as she shredded his favourite football shirt and the look in his eyes as she poured his favourite wine down the drain. She realised she was calmer now as thoughts of murder had turned to stupid reprisals. She closed her eyes, now bright with unshed tears, and sighed bitterly.
The images had played at length in her imagination but in reality only seconds had passed. Swiftly she stood up, causing the chair to travel backwards at speed, and gained some small satisfaction as she heard Brian grunt with pain. He hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough and the chair had caught him painfully on the shins which suited her fine. Cursing and rubbing his shins he demanded “why did you do that?” Liz shrugged as she replied that she actually had done anything; it wasn’t her fault he’d been stood so close behind her. “If you hadn’t been bent on thievery, hadn’t sneaked up behind me, you wouldn’t have been in the way of the chair when I stood up” she replied calmly, too calmly.
Brian suddenly realised that Liz was much angrier than she should have been and tried to calm her down; to make light of his actions. “I was only trying to help you out….” Brian smiled at Liz as he spoke but she only glared back at him as she bit out her reply that she hadn’t needed, nor asked for, his help.
“C’mon Liz” he cajoled her as she walked towards the lounge door. She turned the handle of the door before turning back to him. “You should know better!” she nearly spat the words at him before taking a breath and trying again. “You do know better” she amended. “You know you should never come between a woman who is cheating on her diet and her final few chips. At least, not if you valued your life you shouldn't.”
Images flooded her minds’ eye. Images of her dissecting his stomach and feeding the contents back to him. Another of her stabbing him again and again, while screaming ‘I hate you’ at him and yet another of her running him over in their car. Any image that ended in his death fed her satisfaction. She imagined his anguish as she jumped up and down on his precious collection of stupid Take That CDs. Of his tears as she shredded his favourite football shirt and the look in his eyes as she poured his favourite wine down the drain. She realised she was calmer now as thoughts of murder had turned to stupid reprisals. She closed her eyes, now bright with unshed tears, and sighed bitterly.
The images had played at length in her imagination but in reality only seconds had passed. Swiftly she stood up, causing the chair to travel backwards at speed, and gained some small satisfaction as she heard Brian grunt with pain. He hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough and the chair had caught him painfully on the shins which suited her fine. Cursing and rubbing his shins he demanded “why did you do that?” Liz shrugged as she replied that she actually had done anything; it wasn’t her fault he’d been stood so close behind her. “If you hadn’t been bent on thievery, hadn’t sneaked up behind me, you wouldn’t have been in the way of the chair when I stood up” she replied calmly, too calmly.
Brian suddenly realised that Liz was much angrier than she should have been and tried to calm her down; to make light of his actions. “I was only trying to help you out….” Brian smiled at Liz as he spoke but she only glared back at him as she bit out her reply that she hadn’t needed, nor asked for, his help.
“C’mon Liz” he cajoled her as she walked towards the lounge door. She turned the handle of the door before turning back to him. “You should know better!” she nearly spat the words at him before taking a breath and trying again. “You do know better” she amended. “You know you should never come between a woman who is cheating on her diet and her final few chips. At least, not if you valued your life you shouldn't.”
Thanks for reading and the comments guys :)
I was distracted while reading this by the line "his precious collection of stupid Take That CDs".
What kind of lad owned/owns a Take That CD?
Regardless. This just scrapes in the minimum wordcount, but there isn't any need to add anything to the story. I don't think you could add flesh here without taking away some of the pace or drama. And the closing couple of lines are great.
The great thing about this is that it's so much like that scene would play out in real life. Well, the dialogue might be a little different, but still.
Very nice.
What kind of lad owned/owns a Take That CD?
Regardless. This just scrapes in the minimum wordcount, but there isn't any need to add anything to the story. I don't think you could add flesh here without taking away some of the pace or drama. And the closing couple of lines are great.
The great thing about this is that it's so much like that scene would play out in real life. Well, the dialogue might be a little different, but still.
Very nice.
Cleverly done. There's an understated realism to it which I like.
Love it. Great ending, made me chuckle.
The final few were arranged in front of Liz and she had half an eye on them; anticipation almost too much to bear, making herself wait until the end before indulging herself. Suddenly a hand dipped over her shoulder and stole them from in front of her while laughter buzzed in her ear. The laughter faded quickly from her hearing as white hot anger and blind hatred closed down her senses. The laughter had been an obvious indication that Brian had given no consideration to the cruelty he had just inflicted and Liz had no doubt that his action had been instinctive rather than vindictive but this did not stop her plotting her revenge.
Images flooded her minds’ eye. Images of her dissecting his stomach and feeding the contents back to him. Another of her stabbing him again and again, while screaming ‘I hate you’ at him and yet another of her running him over in their car. Any image that ended in his death fed her satisfaction. She imagined his anguish as she jumped up and down on his precious collection of stupid Take That CDs. Of his tears as she shredded his favourite football shirt and the look in his eyes as she poured his favourite wine down the drain. She realised she was calmer now as thoughts of murder had turned to stupid reprisals. She closed her eyes, now bright with unshed tears, and sighed bitterly.
The images had played at length in her imagination but in reality only seconds had passed. Swiftly she stood up, causing the chair to travel backwards at speed, and gained some small satisfaction as she heard Brian grunt with pain. He hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough and the chair had caught him painfully on the shins which suited her fine. Cursing and rubbing his shins he demanded “why did you do that?” Liz shrugged as she replied that she actually had done anything; it wasn’t her fault he’d been stood so close behind her. “If you hadn’t been bent on thievery, hadn’t sneaked up behind me, you wouldn’t have been in the way of the chair when I stood up” she replied calmly, too calmly.
Brian suddenly realised that Liz was much angrier than she should have been and tried to calm her down; to make light of his actions. “I was only trying to help you out….” Brian smiled at Liz as he spoke but she only glared back at him as she bit out her reply that she hadn’t needed, nor asked for, his help.
“C’mon Liz” he cajoled her as she walked towards the lounge door. She turned the handle of the door before turning back to him. “You should know better!” she nearly spat the words at him before taking a breath and trying again. “You do know better” she amended. “You know you should never come between a woman who is cheating on her diet and her final few chips. At least, not if you valued your life you shouldn't.”
Images flooded her minds’ eye. Images of her dissecting his stomach and feeding the contents back to him. Another of her stabbing him again and again, while screaming ‘I hate you’ at him and yet another of her running him over in their car. Any image that ended in his death fed her satisfaction. She imagined his anguish as she jumped up and down on his precious collection of stupid Take That CDs. Of his tears as she shredded his favourite football shirt and the look in his eyes as she poured his favourite wine down the drain. She realised she was calmer now as thoughts of murder had turned to stupid reprisals. She closed her eyes, now bright with unshed tears, and sighed bitterly.
The images had played at length in her imagination but in reality only seconds had passed. Swiftly she stood up, causing the chair to travel backwards at speed, and gained some small satisfaction as she heard Brian grunt with pain. He hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough and the chair had caught him painfully on the shins which suited her fine. Cursing and rubbing his shins he demanded “why did you do that?” Liz shrugged as she replied that she actually had done anything; it wasn’t her fault he’d been stood so close behind her. “If you hadn’t been bent on thievery, hadn’t sneaked up behind me, you wouldn’t have been in the way of the chair when I stood up” she replied calmly, too calmly.
Brian suddenly realised that Liz was much angrier than she should have been and tried to calm her down; to make light of his actions. “I was only trying to help you out….” Brian smiled at Liz as he spoke but she only glared back at him as she bit out her reply that she hadn’t needed, nor asked for, his help.
“C’mon Liz” he cajoled her as she walked towards the lounge door. She turned the handle of the door before turning back to him. “You should know better!” she nearly spat the words at him before taking a breath and trying again. “You do know better” she amended. “You know you should never come between a woman who is cheating on her diet and her final few chips. At least, not if you valued your life you shouldn't.”