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Humpty Dumpty: Did he fall, or was he pushed?
RING-RING!!! "Aaargh no!" I thought, my head heavy from the night before. "Who the hell could that be at this hour?" I looked at the clock, 4:28. I'd only been in bed for 3 hours and the effects of the tequila were still in full effect.
RING-RING!!! I piked up the phone, but my throat was too dry to manage anything more than a grunt.
"Get that useless 'hind of yours down to the Bridge Street railway bridge, some punk kid's jumped off. We need you there. Now!" The line went dead as Chief of Police, ssxpro slammed the phone down. "Why is he always so mad?" I wondered as I tried to pull on my trousers.
5 minutes later I opened the front door. The fresn air that greeted me was not well received. I had to crouch down to stop myself from falling, and a dry retch made me realise that though I didn't yet have a hangover, there was one in the post, and I'd get it soon enough.
When I arrived at the scene I was met by a couple of rookie officers, rakuga and Time-Warp. "Detective Meka, glad you're here. We've had some young lad throw himself off the bridge." Said Rakuga.
"Yeah, I heard. Who the hell are those guys over by the body, and what the hell are those, horses?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, worried that my drinking was having serious effects on my vision.
"Well the king's men couldn't do it, so now the horses are having a go....." Replied time-Warp.
"Okay" I responded, still too weary to question such an answer. "Do we have any ID for the lad?"
"Yes, his name was Dumpty, Humpty Dumpty" said Rakuga.
"Any witnesses?" I asked hopefully.
"No, but he was holding this"
"Then you'd better call in forensics to go over the area, I think we got us a murder case."
______________________
"I don't know why I don't just bust you back down to an officer, you pathetic bum!" Said Police Chief ssxpro, slamming his cup down, not noticing the coffee slopping out of the sides and onto his desk. "Do you have any idea of how cheesed off the forensics team are, having to go over an area that large, at that time in the morning? And for what? Nothing! I told you, the kid jumped, simple as that!"
"See this" I said, holding up the evidence given to me by Rakuga.
"Yeah, some dumb magazine, what the hell has that got to do with it?"
"Humpty Dumpty was holding it. After seeing this, there's no way he would have jumped."
"Well what is it then?"
"It's Nintendo Official Magazine. After seeing these Gamecube shots, there's no way any gamer would want to cash in their chips."
"Get the hell outta my office, you freak, and come back with some proper evidence. If you don't have any proper evidence within 24 hours I'll have you back in traffic division by the end of the week." ssxpro slammed the door behind me as i left. Surely one of these days I'd catch him in a good mood. Surely!
______________________
I needed results, and fast.
My first stop was Humpty's place. He lived alone, so I was hoping to find some clues there. My initial thoughts were confirmed as soon as I walked in the door. The kid was a Ninty. An N64 sat proudly beneath his television set, and a stack of impressive games sat on the shelf. There was no way he'd have topped himself.
A thorough search revealed nothing else that could possibly be related to a possible motive for murder. Could this really be a gaming related incident? I didn't know, but I knew a man who might.....
______________________
"Yeah, I knew Humpty. Nice lad. Ninty, but nice." Said New Jimmy, whilst carefully adjusting his bow-tie.
"Know anything about what happened to him?" I asked, knowing quite well that Jimmy hadn't gotten to where he was by giving away information like that for free.
Jimmy smiled he was about to start a very familiar routine. "My memory's not what it used to be." he said.
I tried to sound enthusiastic when I replied "Maybe this will refresh it." holiding out a wad of cash.
Jimmy's smile grew bigger, showing most of his teeth. He whistled.
Out of nowhere appeared a man dressed in a slightly stained purple suit, and a purple cap, complete with bright yellow feather. "The name's Venombyte, I got some info you might find interesting, but you'll have to win it from me." Venombyte turned away and walked into the shadows. If i was going to solve this case, I'd have to follow him.
_______________________
Venombyte handed me an N64 pad. I was in luck, the game was to be Goldeneye, and I was considered something of an expert.
10 minutes later Venombyte turned to look at me, and said "Best two out of three?" I responded to his remarks with the scorn it deserved, and demanded that he tell me anything he might know.
"Well it's like this, last night I was in this bar downtown, The FOG and Firkin, a gamer's bar, when in walks Humpty Dumpty. Anyhow, he'd obviously had a bit to drink, and he's causing a scene with some of the regulars. He's boasting about how great a gamer he is and the like. Anyway, that was when Sniper stood up and begun his "We don't much like your kind round these parts" rant. It was at this stage that I left. I had a date!
"Thanks for the info" I said as I put on my jacket, heading out of the door before venombyte even had time to challenge me to a rematch.
________________________
I walked into the FOG and Firkin and straight up to the bar.
"What can I get you?" asked the unsightly looking gentleman working the bar.
"Two things" I said, "Lager, a pint of, and information, lots of."
Seconds later the barman handed me my drink. I took one look at the filthy marks all over the glass. "Any chance of a clean glass?" I asked. The barman took a fresh glass from the shelf, spat on it, then gave it a shine on his dirty apron "Clean enough for ya?" He asked as he poured by beer into the glass. "Now what else did you want?"
Before i had a chance to answer a voice came from a back-room, "Ali, take 5." The owner of the voice came into sight, and shook me by the hand "Hi, i'm Tony, I'm the manager here. Now how can I help you?"
I told Tony of Venombytes account of events, Tony nodded as if to confirm the story.
"That's all true enough, but after Venombyte left things seemed to calm down. Humpty Dumpty and Sniper joined a conversation with Ant, FantasyMeister, and Grix Thraves. I didn't pay much more attention to them until Grix left, he looked as if something was bugging him. FM and Sniper left together shortly after, with FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death. Sniper was not amused. That left Humpty with Ant, and they were getting on fine."
"Do you know where I can find any of these people?" I asked hopefully.
"Sure" said Tony, and jotted a few addresses down on the back of a coaster.
_________________________
My intention was to pay Ant a visit, given that he had been the last one seen with Humpty Dumpty. However, whilst taking a shortcut through town, (via the bakery to get donuts) I received a phone call.
"Stop screwin' around and get yourself back here now. Someone want's to see you."
I arrived back at the station in record time, completely ignoring a fellow detective, Goatboy, who seemed to be arguing with his new partner. I walked into my office to find Grix Thraves waiting for me.
"somebody tried to kill me!" he cried.
"Okay Grix, calm down, and tell me exactly what happened" I said, reaching for my notepad.
"Well I'd just finished downloading the latest video of Rogue Leader for the Gamecube, have you seen it? It's truely awesome! Anyway, I was just sitting there, gobsmacked when the power went out. i got up to see what the problem was, grabbing a torch on my way down to the basement. I heard a noise and turned to look. I heard a shout, "Death to the Ninty" then all of these boxes were pushed on top of me! I was knock-out, and when I came around the basement was on fire! I just managed to pull myself free and get out before the ceiling caved in!"
"Wow, that's quite a tale" I said, still trying to take in the latest developments. "I'll see if I can get you put up in one of our safe houses until we find whoever did this. I don't suppose you recognised the voice you heard?"
"No it came as too much of a shock" answered Grix, "Now any chance of a tea?"
__________________________
On my way to the tea machine I was stopped by the Chief. "You better get some results fast Meka, you bum, I'm getting sick of you slacking round here!" He shouted.
I'd had enough of this, and for once, responded "Chief, why do you always have to shout everything? Why are you always so angry? You know, if you showed a little kindness, people might respond to you better, and we might all be happier!"
ssxpro looked shocked "How dare you question me, you bum, you freak! I'm a stereotype God damn it! Now how about you explain to me exactly what you were doing hanging around in a bar earlier today?"
The Chiefs outburst reminded me of my visit to the FOG and Firkin earlier that day, and particularly something that Tony had said "FM and Sniper left together....with FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death."
I stormed back into my office "Grix, what console does Sniper have?" "An N64" came his instant reply. I grabbed my coat and dashed off hearing cries from Grix "But what about my tea?"
__________________________
I rang Snipers doorbell for a third time. Still nothing, so I tried the handle. I was surprised to find it unlocked. I tried a light switch, but nothing. The power was out. The signs were not good.Room by room I checked for signs of life. I was beginning to think that I would find nothing, when I ventured into the bathroom. I had found Sniper. He lay sunken in the bath, along with a bar of soap, a rubber duck, and a radio. The radio was still plugged into the mains socket in the hall.
This could easily have been mistaken for a grim accident just like the fire at Grix's place, and Humpty Dumptys plunge from the bridge, until I noticed something written in the condensation on the mirror, 'Die, Ninty, Die'.
Tony's words again echoed in my mind "FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death."
_________________________
I arrived at FantasyMeisters place just as the sun was setting. The door was ajar, and music could be heard. As I stepped inside I realised that the music was coming from a console, most likely a Dreamcast, given the quality, so I headed for the front room. I saw a large swivel chair, facing away from me. In it sat a figure that i assumed was FantasyMeister.
"FantasyMeister" I said, in my best authoritive voice, but no response came "I need to ask you a few questions" Still no reply came. I put my hand on the chair and begun to pull it around, to get FantasyMeisters attention. When I saw him I realised that no mortal words would get his attention, someone had used his chest as a knife rack.
_________________________
Dejected at losing my only suspect i decided to head for the nearest bar, which just happened to be the FOG and Firkin. Sweet beer would numb the pain. However, as i approached the bar I heard voices.
"Damn it er-no look! Those Gamecube pictures are no better than anything available on the ps2!"
"No you look, nothing of this quality has been seen before. The PS2 won't be able to compete with this."
"er-no, the last person that knocked the PS2 won't do it again, and neither will you...."
I heard the sound of a heavy object making contact with something, or someone.
"I taught FantasyMeister a lesson when he knocked the PS2, and it looks like you need one too!"
I ran towards the voices.
"Sniper too, he needed to be shown who knew best, and that stupid Humpty Dumpty, no more will any of you say the PS2 isn't the best!"
Suddenly they came into sight as i burst through the bushes "Freeze" I cried, pointing my gun at the lad standing holding the lead pipe. On the ground beneath him was er-no, bleeding heavily, but still alive.
"But he's a Ninty" he said, raising the pipe to deal a final blow onto er-no.
I had to think fast, or another life would be taken.
"The PS2 is a viable gaming platform" I cried, trying to calm him down, "put down your weapon, and put your hands in the air."
"Do, do you think that the PS2, has a future then?" He asked, beginning to lower the pipe. "Yes, there are many great games to come" I said, and begun to walk towards the figure.
He dropped the pipe onto the ground, and stepped forwards. It was here that I recognised him. "Got sugar?" He asked.
"Ant, you're going to have to accompany me down to the station" I said, then I read him his rights.
_______________
EPILOGUE
"Ant" said Your Honour, "You stand before me on three accounts of first degree murder, how do you plead?"
"Guilty" replied Ant, looking at the floor to avoid eye contact.
"Sentence will be passed tomorrow at noon" said Your Honour "But you can expect to spend a very long time in a correctional facility, without consoles, or sugar."
The cry that came from Ant upon hearing those words still haunts me today. It contained so much emotion, the sound of complete loss, and despair, and fear for the future can compare to nothing else I have ever heard.
3 lives were lost and another wasted, and for what? Just more casualties of the console wars.
RING-RING!!! "Aaargh no!" I thought, my head heavy from the night before. "Who the hell could that be at this hour?" I looked at the clock, 4:28. I'd only been in bed for 3 hours and the effects of the tequila were still in full effect.
RING-RING!!! I piked up the phone, but my throat was too dry to manage anything more than a grunt.
"Get that useless 'hind of yours down to the Bridge Street railway bridge, some punk kid's jumped off. We need you there. Now!" The line went dead as Chief of Police, ssxpro slammed the phone down. "Why is he always so mad?" I wondered as I tried to pull on my trousers.
5 minutes later I opened the front door. The fresn air that greeted me was not well received. I had to crouch down to stop myself from falling, and a dry retch made me realise that though I didn't yet have a hangover, there was one in the post, and I'd get it soon enough.
When I arrived at the scene I was met by a couple of rookie officers, rakuga and Time-Warp. "Detective Meka, glad you're here. We've had some young lad throw himself off the bridge." Said Rakuga.
"Yeah, I heard. Who the hell are those guys over by the body, and what the hell are those, horses?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, worried that my drinking was having serious effects on my vision.
"Well the king's men couldn't do it, so now the horses are having a go....." Replied time-Warp.
"Okay" I responded, still too weary to question such an answer. "Do we have any ID for the lad?"
"Yes, his name was Dumpty, Humpty Dumpty" said Rakuga.
"Any witnesses?" I asked hopefully.
"No, but he was holding this"
"Then you'd better call in forensics to go over the area, I think we got us a murder case."
______________________
"I don't know why I don't just bust you back down to an officer, you pathetic bum!" Said Police Chief ssxpro, slamming his cup down, not noticing the coffee slopping out of the sides and onto his desk. "Do you have any idea of how cheesed off the forensics team are, having to go over an area that large, at that time in the morning? And for what? Nothing! I told you, the kid jumped, simple as that!"
"See this" I said, holding up the evidence given to me by Rakuga.
"Yeah, some dumb magazine, what the hell has that got to do with it?"
"Humpty Dumpty was holding it. After seeing this, there's no way he would have jumped."
"Well what is it then?"
"It's Nintendo Official Magazine. After seeing these Gamecube shots, there's no way any gamer would want to cash in their chips."
"Get the hell outta my office, you freak, and come back with some proper evidence. If you don't have any proper evidence within 24 hours I'll have you back in traffic division by the end of the week." ssxpro slammed the door behind me as i left. Surely one of these days I'd catch him in a good mood. Surely!
______________________
I needed results, and fast.
My first stop was Humpty's place. He lived alone, so I was hoping to find some clues there. My initial thoughts were confirmed as soon as I walked in the door. The kid was a Ninty. An N64 sat proudly beneath his television set, and a stack of impressive games sat on the shelf. There was no way he'd have topped himself.
A thorough search revealed nothing else that could possibly be related to a possible motive for murder. Could this really be a gaming related incident? I didn't know, but I knew a man who might.....
______________________
"Yeah, I knew Humpty. Nice lad. Ninty, but nice." Said New Jimmy, whilst carefully adjusting his bow-tie.
"Know anything about what happened to him?" I asked, knowing quite well that Jimmy hadn't gotten to where he was by giving away information like that for free.
Jimmy smiled he was about to start a very familiar routine. "My memory's not what it used to be." he said.
I tried to sound enthusiastic when I replied "Maybe this will refresh it." holiding out a wad of cash.
Jimmy's smile grew bigger, showing most of his teeth. He whistled.
Out of nowhere appeared a man dressed in a slightly stained purple suit, and a purple cap, complete with bright yellow feather. "The name's Venombyte, I got some info you might find interesting, but you'll have to win it from me." Venombyte turned away and walked into the shadows. If i was going to solve this case, I'd have to follow him.
_______________________
Venombyte handed me an N64 pad. I was in luck, the game was to be Goldeneye, and I was considered something of an expert.
10 minutes later Venombyte turned to look at me, and said "Best two out of three?" I responded to his remarks with the scorn it deserved, and demanded that he tell me anything he might know.
"Well it's like this, last night I was in this bar downtown, The FOG and Firkin, a gamer's bar, when in walks Humpty Dumpty. Anyhow, he'd obviously had a bit to drink, and he's causing a scene with some of the regulars. He's boasting about how great a gamer he is and the like. Anyway, that was when Sniper stood up and begun his "We don't much like your kind round these parts" rant. It was at this stage that I left. I had a date!
"Thanks for the info" I said as I put on my jacket, heading out of the door before venombyte even had time to challenge me to a rematch.
________________________
I walked into the FOG and Firkin and straight up to the bar.
"What can I get you?" asked the unsightly looking gentleman working the bar.
"Two things" I said, "Lager, a pint of, and information, lots of."
Seconds later the barman handed me my drink. I took one look at the filthy marks all over the glass. "Any chance of a clean glass?" I asked. The barman took a fresh glass from the shelf, spat on it, then gave it a shine on his dirty apron "Clean enough for ya?" He asked as he poured by beer into the glass. "Now what else did you want?"
Before i had a chance to answer a voice came from a back-room, "Ali, take 5." The owner of the voice came into sight, and shook me by the hand "Hi, i'm Tony, I'm the manager here. Now how can I help you?"
I told Tony of Venombytes account of events, Tony nodded as if to confirm the story.
"That's all true enough, but after Venombyte left things seemed to calm down. Humpty Dumpty and Sniper joined a conversation with Ant, FantasyMeister, and Grix Thraves. I didn't pay much more attention to them until Grix left, he looked as if something was bugging him. FM and Sniper left together shortly after, with FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death. Sniper was not amused. That left Humpty with Ant, and they were getting on fine."
"Do you know where I can find any of these people?" I asked hopefully.
"Sure" said Tony, and jotted a few addresses down on the back of a coaster.
_________________________
My intention was to pay Ant a visit, given that he had been the last one seen with Humpty Dumpty. However, whilst taking a shortcut through town, (via the bakery to get donuts) I received a phone call.
"Stop screwin' around and get yourself back here now. Someone want's to see you."
I arrived back at the station in record time, completely ignoring a fellow detective, Goatboy, who seemed to be arguing with his new partner. I walked into my office to find Grix Thraves waiting for me.
"somebody tried to kill me!" he cried.
"Okay Grix, calm down, and tell me exactly what happened" I said, reaching for my notepad.
"Well I'd just finished downloading the latest video of Rogue Leader for the Gamecube, have you seen it? It's truely awesome! Anyway, I was just sitting there, gobsmacked when the power went out. i got up to see what the problem was, grabbing a torch on my way down to the basement. I heard a noise and turned to look. I heard a shout, "Death to the Ninty" then all of these boxes were pushed on top of me! I was knock-out, and when I came around the basement was on fire! I just managed to pull myself free and get out before the ceiling caved in!"
"Wow, that's quite a tale" I said, still trying to take in the latest developments. "I'll see if I can get you put up in one of our safe houses until we find whoever did this. I don't suppose you recognised the voice you heard?"
"No it came as too much of a shock" answered Grix, "Now any chance of a tea?"
__________________________
On my way to the tea machine I was stopped by the Chief. "You better get some results fast Meka, you bum, I'm getting sick of you slacking round here!" He shouted.
I'd had enough of this, and for once, responded "Chief, why do you always have to shout everything? Why are you always so angry? You know, if you showed a little kindness, people might respond to you better, and we might all be happier!"
ssxpro looked shocked "How dare you question me, you bum, you freak! I'm a stereotype God damn it! Now how about you explain to me exactly what you were doing hanging around in a bar earlier today?"
The Chiefs outburst reminded me of my visit to the FOG and Firkin earlier that day, and particularly something that Tony had said "FM and Sniper left together....with FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death."
I stormed back into my office "Grix, what console does Sniper have?" "An N64" came his instant reply. I grabbed my coat and dashed off hearing cries from Grix "But what about my tea?"
__________________________
I rang Snipers doorbell for a third time. Still nothing, so I tried the handle. I was surprised to find it unlocked. I tried a light switch, but nothing. The power was out. The signs were not good.Room by room I checked for signs of life. I was beginning to think that I would find nothing, when I ventured into the bathroom. I had found Sniper. He lay sunken in the bath, along with a bar of soap, a rubber duck, and a radio. The radio was still plugged into the mains socket in the hall.
This could easily have been mistaken for a grim accident just like the fire at Grix's place, and Humpty Dumptys plunge from the bridge, until I noticed something written in the condensation on the mirror, 'Die, Ninty, Die'.
Tony's words again echoed in my mind "FantasyMeister listing reasons why all Ninty's should be put to death."
_________________________
I arrived at FantasyMeisters place just as the sun was setting. The door was ajar, and music could be heard. As I stepped inside I realised that the music was coming from a console, most likely a Dreamcast, given the quality, so I headed for the front room. I saw a large swivel chair, facing away from me. In it sat a figure that i assumed was FantasyMeister.
"FantasyMeister" I said, in my best authoritive voice, but no response came "I need to ask you a few questions" Still no reply came. I put my hand on the chair and begun to pull it around, to get FantasyMeisters attention. When I saw him I realised that no mortal words would get his attention, someone had used his chest as a knife rack.
_________________________
Dejected at losing my only suspect i decided to head for the nearest bar, which just happened to be the FOG and Firkin. Sweet beer would numb the pain. However, as i approached the bar I heard voices.
"Damn it er-no look! Those Gamecube pictures are no better than anything available on the ps2!"
"No you look, nothing of this quality has been seen before. The PS2 won't be able to compete with this."
"er-no, the last person that knocked the PS2 won't do it again, and neither will you...."
I heard the sound of a heavy object making contact with something, or someone.
"I taught FantasyMeister a lesson when he knocked the PS2, and it looks like you need one too!"
I ran towards the voices.
"Sniper too, he needed to be shown who knew best, and that stupid Humpty Dumpty, no more will any of you say the PS2 isn't the best!"
Suddenly they came into sight as i burst through the bushes "Freeze" I cried, pointing my gun at the lad standing holding the lead pipe. On the ground beneath him was er-no, bleeding heavily, but still alive.
"But he's a Ninty" he said, raising the pipe to deal a final blow onto er-no.
I had to think fast, or another life would be taken.
"The PS2 is a viable gaming platform" I cried, trying to calm him down, "put down your weapon, and put your hands in the air."
"Do, do you think that the PS2, has a future then?" He asked, beginning to lower the pipe. "Yes, there are many great games to come" I said, and begun to walk towards the figure.
He dropped the pipe onto the ground, and stepped forwards. It was here that I recognised him. "Got sugar?" He asked.
"Ant, you're going to have to accompany me down to the station" I said, then I read him his rights.
_______________
EPILOGUE
"Ant" said Your Honour, "You stand before me on three accounts of first degree murder, how do you plead?"
"Guilty" replied Ant, looking at the floor to avoid eye contact.
"Sentence will be passed tomorrow at noon" said Your Honour "But you can expect to spend a very long time in a correctional facility, without consoles, or sugar."
The cry that came from Ant upon hearing those words still haunts me today. It contained so much emotion, the sound of complete loss, and despair, and fear for the future can compare to nothing else I have ever heard.
3 lives were lost and another wasted, and for what? Just more casualties of the console wars.
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Thanks for the second bout of praise on this. I enjoyed writting it.
I'm on another training course as of 18th June for 4 nights, so I have 2 stories in my head that I want to get down on paper, one is another police story, but more of a 'buddy movie' in style. The other is based on one of the better, and stranger, films I saw last year....
Hopefully I'll get them written up, rather than spending all of my time in the bar!
I'm on another training course as of 18th June for 4 nights, so I have 2 stories in my head that I want to get down on paper, one is another police story, but more of a 'buddy movie' in style. The other is based on one of the better, and stranger, films I saw last year....
Hopefully I'll get them written up, rather than spending all of my time in the bar!
How about one one on the Untouchables?
I was thinking of starting a murder mystery story a while back, but the problem is, only one person would know who the killer was... and it would get boring.
It's much better if the one person writes it, as shown here. Very good again Meka. :0)
It's much better if the one person writes it, as shown here. Very good again Meka. :0)
Meka's stories and good, I am big fan of the gangstery 1920's era, I liked it, a lot!
Well! We need annother!
Game
Well! We need annother!
Game
Very nice Meka!
I've never been a baddie before.....nice.....
I've never been a baddie before.....nice.....
I don't need to be in your silly little stories!
:P
:P
I missed a t as well! Two mistakes!
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