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Whoops, this got a bit long.
-----------------
I stood in the church and looked at the 100 or so people, watching me, waiting for me to crumble. It was a hot day, August 19th, if I was going to crumble it would be due to the heat, not the reasons they all expected. No, I am strong, I can do this. I thought back to when I was last standing in this church. I never been one for going to church on a Sunday, I much rather preferred a lie in with the Sunday papers, and I certainly never expected to go to church again so soon.
I let my mind wander back 2 years exactly, almost, maybe a little longer, I forget.
“Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your lawful wedded wife?”
I heard someone somewhere behind me stifle a giggle. Oh yes, that is in fact my real name. I often wondered what possessed my parents to name me Jasper. Not only was it god awful, but with the surname Jasperson? I can only assume my parents were high on something the day I was named. Jeez.
I repeated my vows.
The chimes of the organ snapped me back to reality as she was led up the aisle, still looking as beautiful as the day we first met. I took a while to study her face as if I was never to see her again. The vicar began his speech and after a while I couldn’t help but drift back to my daydream. Where was I? Oh yes, so the vicar said the ‘monkey named Steve’..Just kidding…….
“to have and to hold from this day forward”
I tried to think manly thoughts, thoughts of banging her hard in every position. I couldn’t, I mean I could but with her standing before me in her wedding dress she just looked like a princess, like a delicate little flower. Oh god, if my friends could hear me now……
I repeated my vows.
Damnit. Someone crying dragged me back down to earth. Jesus, can’t a man relive his memories in peace. I looked around nervously to see who it was, it was her mother. Well, I suppose that is expected. I turned my eyes back to the vicar, hoping he didn’t catch me. He didn’t, he was getting on a bit, I’ll be surprised if he noticed anything these days. The crying died down and I happily went back to my daydream.
“for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”
I didn’t think much about it. Yeah yeah yeah, look after your wife and all that bullcrap, how could I not. She was my everything, my first thought in the morning, last at night. Am I just quoting Westlife’s lyrics now? John was right, Joan had turned me soft. I looked at her again and imagined the night that lie ahead. Ooops, maybe John wasn’t completely right, ifyaknowwhatimean.
I repeated my vows.
I bought myself out of my daydream. I choked back a tear as I saw the lid of Joan’s coffin being opened. This, of course, was her wish. Personally I wouldn’t want anyone to see my perfect wife in bed, even if it was her bed of rest. However, I have to follow her wishes. I let her family and friends walk over to her, one by one and kiss her goodnight. Then it was my turn. This would be the last time I’d see my darling wife, after this there would only be photos and memories. I walked over, very aware that 100 pairs of eyes were on me. I could have done without that.
I peered over the coffin to see her laid out in a pink nightie. Pink was always her favourite colour, I smiled to myself, congratulating myself on such a perfect, yet obvious choice. I pulled a silver ring out of my pocket. The ring had a pink heart shaped diamond, or something or other on it. She had seen it a few months before, though she didn’t say anything, the longing in her eyes told me she wanted it. Women! They always have a way of getting what they want. I remember grumbling about how expensive silver was these days, to which she informed me it was ‘white gold’. What the blooming hell is white gold, anyways?
I placed the ring inside the coffin, still in the box. She had died 2 weeks ago, her body had gone all stiff now, I should have put the ring on her finger when I could.
“This is my heart, it will be with you wherever you are going. I love you”
I wanted to tell her more, but my voice cracked and the tears came. I finally crumbled as John put his arm round my shoulder and led me back to my seat.
It was time for her to be buried. The coffin lid was closed and once again she was led up the aisle, this time it was out of the church. As we all walked to the grave site I let myself fall into the last bit of my daydream.
"Until death do us part”
At the time I didn’t read much into this. I assumed Joan and I would have more than two years together. I don’t like this part of the vows. It’s like we promise to love each other until one of us die, I plan on loving Joan until I die and then carry on loving her as we are reunited in heaven. Or hell. No, Heaven, I’ve concluded I’ve lived a heaven-worthy life, and so did Joan.
As Joan’s coffin was lowered into the ground a pink balloon went floating across the sky. I can’t help but wonder whether it was her soul flying away, up to heaven where she belonged. It could have been her way of showing me she was still there, it certainly made me feel comforted.
Now I had to get along with my life without my wife, and looked forward to the day our souls would be reunited.
-----------------
I stood in the church and looked at the 100 or so people, watching me, waiting for me to crumble. It was a hot day, August 19th, if I was going to crumble it would be due to the heat, not the reasons they all expected. No, I am strong, I can do this. I thought back to when I was last standing in this church. I never been one for going to church on a Sunday, I much rather preferred a lie in with the Sunday papers, and I certainly never expected to go to church again so soon.
I let my mind wander back 2 years exactly, almost, maybe a little longer, I forget.
“Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your lawful wedded wife?”
I heard someone somewhere behind me stifle a giggle. Oh yes, that is in fact my real name. I often wondered what possessed my parents to name me Jasper. Not only was it god awful, but with the surname Jasperson? I can only assume my parents were high on something the day I was named. Jeez.
I repeated my vows.
The chimes of the organ snapped me back to reality as she was led up the aisle, still looking as beautiful as the day we first met. I took a while to study her face as if I was never to see her again. The vicar began his speech and after a while I couldn’t help but drift back to my daydream. Where was I? Oh yes, so the vicar said the ‘monkey named Steve’..Just kidding…….
“to have and to hold from this day forward”
I tried to think manly thoughts, thoughts of banging her hard in every position. I couldn’t, I mean I could but with her standing before me in her wedding dress she just looked like a princess, like a delicate little flower. Oh god, if my friends could hear me now……
I repeated my vows.
Damnit. Someone crying dragged me back down to earth. Jesus, can’t a man relive his memories in peace. I looked around nervously to see who it was, it was her mother. Well, I suppose that is expected. I turned my eyes back to the vicar, hoping he didn’t catch me. He didn’t, he was getting on a bit, I’ll be surprised if he noticed anything these days. The crying died down and I happily went back to my daydream.
“for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”
I didn’t think much about it. Yeah yeah yeah, look after your wife and all that bullcrap, how could I not. She was my everything, my first thought in the morning, last at night. Am I just quoting Westlife’s lyrics now? John was right, Joan had turned me soft. I looked at her again and imagined the night that lie ahead. Ooops, maybe John wasn’t completely right, ifyaknowwhatimean.
I repeated my vows.
I bought myself out of my daydream. I choked back a tear as I saw the lid of Joan’s coffin being opened. This, of course, was her wish. Personally I wouldn’t want anyone to see my perfect wife in bed, even if it was her bed of rest. However, I have to follow her wishes. I let her family and friends walk over to her, one by one and kiss her goodnight. Then it was my turn. This would be the last time I’d see my darling wife, after this there would only be photos and memories. I walked over, very aware that 100 pairs of eyes were on me. I could have done without that.
I peered over the coffin to see her laid out in a pink nightie. Pink was always her favourite colour, I smiled to myself, congratulating myself on such a perfect, yet obvious choice. I pulled a silver ring out of my pocket. The ring had a pink heart shaped diamond, or something or other on it. She had seen it a few months before, though she didn’t say anything, the longing in her eyes told me she wanted it. Women! They always have a way of getting what they want. I remember grumbling about how expensive silver was these days, to which she informed me it was ‘white gold’. What the blooming hell is white gold, anyways?
I placed the ring inside the coffin, still in the box. She had died 2 weeks ago, her body had gone all stiff now, I should have put the ring on her finger when I could.
“This is my heart, it will be with you wherever you are going. I love you”
I wanted to tell her more, but my voice cracked and the tears came. I finally crumbled as John put his arm round my shoulder and led me back to my seat.
It was time for her to be buried. The coffin lid was closed and once again she was led up the aisle, this time it was out of the church. As we all walked to the grave site I let myself fall into the last bit of my daydream.
"Until death do us part”
At the time I didn’t read much into this. I assumed Joan and I would have more than two years together. I don’t like this part of the vows. It’s like we promise to love each other until one of us die, I plan on loving Joan until I die and then carry on loving her as we are reunited in heaven. Or hell. No, Heaven, I’ve concluded I’ve lived a heaven-worthy life, and so did Joan.
As Joan’s coffin was lowered into the ground a pink balloon went floating across the sky. I can’t help but wonder whether it was her soul flying away, up to heaven where she belonged. It could have been her way of showing me she was still there, it certainly made me feel comforted.
Now I had to get along with my life without my wife, and looked forward to the day our souls would be reunited.
A few grammar errors set it back but on the whole a really good story.
I think the bit where you talked about heaven and hell should have just been either, maybe you could have said something like "well wherever she was would be heaven to me".
I think the bit where you talked about heaven and hell should have just been either, maybe you could have said something like "well wherever she was would be heaven to me".
Yes, it was a nice story (well, the story was good, the subject matter was more...tearful).
As FFF said, it's clichéd, but still a damn good story...
As FFF said, it's clichéd, but still a damn good story...
Bit clichéd, but well written and enjoyable. Good stuff.
:o)
You are too kind.
You are too kind.
Lawrence wrote:
> oh well, at least I tried.
I thought it worked okay. Not too soppy or anything. Anyway I enjoyed it.
> oh well, at least I tried.
I thought it worked okay. Not too soppy or anything. Anyway I enjoyed it.
Haven't read this yet (will soon) but it just caught my eye as I used the very same title not too long ago.
oh well, at least I tried.
Didn't seem like a man's style at all to me, and a very worn story.
Not a bad rendition of it, but I've seen far better. Can no-one write a romance story that doesn't end in the bloody woman dying?
Not a bad rendition of it, but I've seen far better. Can no-one write a romance story that doesn't end in the bloody woman dying?
Lawrence wrote:
> “Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your
> lawful wedded wife?
Bwahahahahaha!
Ahem, anyway...that was really rather good. Different from the idea you told me you'd got, but I'd say it's probably even better.
Wasn't too long, but wasn't too short either.
Despite a few grammatical errors...about two, I think, it flowed nicely.
Enjoyed it muchly.
Keep writing stuff.
> “Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your
> lawful wedded wife?
Bwahahahahaha!
Ahem, anyway...that was really rather good. Different from the idea you told me you'd got, but I'd say it's probably even better.
Wasn't too long, but wasn't too short either.
Despite a few grammatical errors...about two, I think, it flowed nicely.
Enjoyed it muchly.
Keep writing stuff.
Whoops, this got a bit long.
-----------------
I stood in the church and looked at the 100 or so people, watching me, waiting for me to crumble. It was a hot day, August 19th, if I was going to crumble it would be due to the heat, not the reasons they all expected. No, I am strong, I can do this. I thought back to when I was last standing in this church. I never been one for going to church on a Sunday, I much rather preferred a lie in with the Sunday papers, and I certainly never expected to go to church again so soon.
I let my mind wander back 2 years exactly, almost, maybe a little longer, I forget.
“Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your lawful wedded wife?”
I heard someone somewhere behind me stifle a giggle. Oh yes, that is in fact my real name. I often wondered what possessed my parents to name me Jasper. Not only was it god awful, but with the surname Jasperson? I can only assume my parents were high on something the day I was named. Jeez.
I repeated my vows.
The chimes of the organ snapped me back to reality as she was led up the aisle, still looking as beautiful as the day we first met. I took a while to study her face as if I was never to see her again. The vicar began his speech and after a while I couldn’t help but drift back to my daydream. Where was I? Oh yes, so the vicar said the ‘monkey named Steve’..Just kidding…….
“to have and to hold from this day forward”
I tried to think manly thoughts, thoughts of banging her hard in every position. I couldn’t, I mean I could but with her standing before me in her wedding dress she just looked like a princess, like a delicate little flower. Oh god, if my friends could hear me now……
I repeated my vows.
Damnit. Someone crying dragged me back down to earth. Jesus, can’t a man relive his memories in peace. I looked around nervously to see who it was, it was her mother. Well, I suppose that is expected. I turned my eyes back to the vicar, hoping he didn’t catch me. He didn’t, he was getting on a bit, I’ll be surprised if he noticed anything these days. The crying died down and I happily went back to my daydream.
“for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”
I didn’t think much about it. Yeah yeah yeah, look after your wife and all that bullcrap, how could I not. She was my everything, my first thought in the morning, last at night. Am I just quoting Westlife’s lyrics now? John was right, Joan had turned me soft. I looked at her again and imagined the night that lie ahead. Ooops, maybe John wasn’t completely right, ifyaknowwhatimean.
I repeated my vows.
I bought myself out of my daydream. I choked back a tear as I saw the lid of Joan’s coffin being opened. This, of course, was her wish. Personally I wouldn’t want anyone to see my perfect wife in bed, even if it was her bed of rest. However, I have to follow her wishes. I let her family and friends walk over to her, one by one and kiss her goodnight. Then it was my turn. This would be the last time I’d see my darling wife, after this there would only be photos and memories. I walked over, very aware that 100 pairs of eyes were on me. I could have done without that.
I peered over the coffin to see her laid out in a pink nightie. Pink was always her favourite colour, I smiled to myself, congratulating myself on such a perfect, yet obvious choice. I pulled a silver ring out of my pocket. The ring had a pink heart shaped diamond, or something or other on it. She had seen it a few months before, though she didn’t say anything, the longing in her eyes told me she wanted it. Women! They always have a way of getting what they want. I remember grumbling about how expensive silver was these days, to which she informed me it was ‘white gold’. What the blooming hell is white gold, anyways?
I placed the ring inside the coffin, still in the box. She had died 2 weeks ago, her body had gone all stiff now, I should have put the ring on her finger when I could.
“This is my heart, it will be with you wherever you are going. I love you”
I wanted to tell her more, but my voice cracked and the tears came. I finally crumbled as John put his arm round my shoulder and led me back to my seat.
It was time for her to be buried. The coffin lid was closed and once again she was led up the aisle, this time it was out of the church. As we all walked to the grave site I let myself fall into the last bit of my daydream.
"Until death do us part”
At the time I didn’t read much into this. I assumed Joan and I would have more than two years together. I don’t like this part of the vows. It’s like we promise to love each other until one of us die, I plan on loving Joan until I die and then carry on loving her as we are reunited in heaven. Or hell. No, Heaven, I’ve concluded I’ve lived a heaven-worthy life, and so did Joan.
As Joan’s coffin was lowered into the ground a pink balloon went floating across the sky. I can’t help but wonder whether it was her soul flying away, up to heaven where she belonged. It could have been her way of showing me she was still there, it certainly made me feel comforted.
Now I had to get along with my life without my wife, and looked forward to the day our souls would be reunited.
-----------------
I stood in the church and looked at the 100 or so people, watching me, waiting for me to crumble. It was a hot day, August 19th, if I was going to crumble it would be due to the heat, not the reasons they all expected. No, I am strong, I can do this. I thought back to when I was last standing in this church. I never been one for going to church on a Sunday, I much rather preferred a lie in with the Sunday papers, and I certainly never expected to go to church again so soon.
I let my mind wander back 2 years exactly, almost, maybe a little longer, I forget.
“Do you Jasper Jasperson; take thee, Joan Smith, to be your lawful wedded wife?”
I heard someone somewhere behind me stifle a giggle. Oh yes, that is in fact my real name. I often wondered what possessed my parents to name me Jasper. Not only was it god awful, but with the surname Jasperson? I can only assume my parents were high on something the day I was named. Jeez.
I repeated my vows.
The chimes of the organ snapped me back to reality as she was led up the aisle, still looking as beautiful as the day we first met. I took a while to study her face as if I was never to see her again. The vicar began his speech and after a while I couldn’t help but drift back to my daydream. Where was I? Oh yes, so the vicar said the ‘monkey named Steve’..Just kidding…….
“to have and to hold from this day forward”
I tried to think manly thoughts, thoughts of banging her hard in every position. I couldn’t, I mean I could but with her standing before me in her wedding dress she just looked like a princess, like a delicate little flower. Oh god, if my friends could hear me now……
I repeated my vows.
Damnit. Someone crying dragged me back down to earth. Jesus, can’t a man relive his memories in peace. I looked around nervously to see who it was, it was her mother. Well, I suppose that is expected. I turned my eyes back to the vicar, hoping he didn’t catch me. He didn’t, he was getting on a bit, I’ll be surprised if he noticed anything these days. The crying died down and I happily went back to my daydream.
“for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”
I didn’t think much about it. Yeah yeah yeah, look after your wife and all that bullcrap, how could I not. She was my everything, my first thought in the morning, last at night. Am I just quoting Westlife’s lyrics now? John was right, Joan had turned me soft. I looked at her again and imagined the night that lie ahead. Ooops, maybe John wasn’t completely right, ifyaknowwhatimean.
I repeated my vows.
I bought myself out of my daydream. I choked back a tear as I saw the lid of Joan’s coffin being opened. This, of course, was her wish. Personally I wouldn’t want anyone to see my perfect wife in bed, even if it was her bed of rest. However, I have to follow her wishes. I let her family and friends walk over to her, one by one and kiss her goodnight. Then it was my turn. This would be the last time I’d see my darling wife, after this there would only be photos and memories. I walked over, very aware that 100 pairs of eyes were on me. I could have done without that.
I peered over the coffin to see her laid out in a pink nightie. Pink was always her favourite colour, I smiled to myself, congratulating myself on such a perfect, yet obvious choice. I pulled a silver ring out of my pocket. The ring had a pink heart shaped diamond, or something or other on it. She had seen it a few months before, though she didn’t say anything, the longing in her eyes told me she wanted it. Women! They always have a way of getting what they want. I remember grumbling about how expensive silver was these days, to which she informed me it was ‘white gold’. What the blooming hell is white gold, anyways?
I placed the ring inside the coffin, still in the box. She had died 2 weeks ago, her body had gone all stiff now, I should have put the ring on her finger when I could.
“This is my heart, it will be with you wherever you are going. I love you”
I wanted to tell her more, but my voice cracked and the tears came. I finally crumbled as John put his arm round my shoulder and led me back to my seat.
It was time for her to be buried. The coffin lid was closed and once again she was led up the aisle, this time it was out of the church. As we all walked to the grave site I let myself fall into the last bit of my daydream.
"Until death do us part”
At the time I didn’t read much into this. I assumed Joan and I would have more than two years together. I don’t like this part of the vows. It’s like we promise to love each other until one of us die, I plan on loving Joan until I die and then carry on loving her as we are reunited in heaven. Or hell. No, Heaven, I’ve concluded I’ve lived a heaven-worthy life, and so did Joan.
As Joan’s coffin was lowered into the ground a pink balloon went floating across the sky. I can’t help but wonder whether it was her soul flying away, up to heaven where she belonged. It could have been her way of showing me she was still there, it certainly made me feel comforted.
Now I had to get along with my life without my wife, and looked forward to the day our souls would be reunited.