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"...End of a relationship..."

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Thu 07/04/05 at 01:33
Regular
"Sal Paradise"
Posts: 708
Hey everyone

First of all, apologies for bad grammar in this, it's late and im tired, but I thought I'd post anyway. And sorry if this isnt in the appropriate forum, I didnt want it to get bogged down by 'half-witted spam' type replies that seem to engulf some other forums.

Alot of you wont know me. Way back in the days of 2001-2003? ish?? I used to roam these forums regularly, making some friends along the way, some who i still think about but cant get hold of, but it doesnt matter, things change. Just thought I'd introduce myself to you newish folk. Im Time_Warp / Såm.

Anyway, I'm 16 (almost 17), doing ALevels at college and Ive just broken up with my girlfriend of 20 months. This may not sound too significant but she is my first love and it WAS my first serious relationship. The details aren't important, and even though I've been thinking about this for a while now, so that im quite used to the idea, it has (naturally) hit me hard.

I am a very independent, outgoing, and confident person. I'm a popular guy (and modest :S) and im bright enough to get into Uni and have my sights set on the future.
But I just want to know what the best step to take is after coming out of a serious relationship. There isnt much for me to think about since I already do way too much of that, and Im aware of what i feel etc. One of my friends just came out of a similar relationship a month ago and has already got with about 20 girls. As a confident, reasonably good looking young man I could probably do this, but it isnt something I'd want to do.
Im smart enough to know I have my whole life ahead of me and there will be many others on the journey, but Im just curious at how I'll react to this new situation (i think I'll find it too easy to handle, which makes me think im not handling it properly...), and how others react when losing a partner/close friend. I want your stories people!

Dont get me wrong, I am upset, but this inevitable ending and the fact that my girlfriend didnt do much to try and fight for the situation has left me quite relaxed about the break up. However, it is going to be hard to getting on with things normally when this person who i spend a lot of my time with wont be there now, especially when I will see her at college every day and be reminded of everything.

Ok thats my story. I just wanted to know what others do/have done in this situation and how it has affected them.
I also want to apologise for wasting a minute or two or your life :)

Since I may forget to post for a couple of days again... Hi to Sheepy, Grix, Your Honour, Rasta and the other lads from the old days, hope all is well! If anyone wants a chat ask for my email, its the same as it was anyway.

Oh, and Our Lady Peace rock.

Well thanks for listening...

Ciao

Såm
Fri 08/04/05 at 00:42
Regular
"Sal Paradise"
Posts: 708
Yeh my mind is made up... and I know I'll be happy with the decision once im used to it, but for now im still coming to terms with it.
Fri 08/04/05 at 00:41
Regular
"Monochromatic"
Posts: 18,487
Time_Warp wrote:
> Yeh...It's odd. The fact that she's begging me not to do this isn't
> making it easier. It's hard to stick to the original, logical
> decision when someone i love is in a lot of distress...because of me.
>
>
> It hurts to see her so upset, and it hurts that i cant be with her
> the same way anymore...but I did make the decision for many reasons,
> and I know i cant go back on it because that would be the wrong
> decision.
>
> So what makes this easier and when?

Time and trying to get her to accept your decision, if you really think you've made the wrong choice it's better to change your mind now.
Make your mind up and stick to it.
Fri 08/04/05 at 00:33
Regular
"Sal Paradise"
Posts: 708
Yeh...It's odd. The fact that she's begging me not to do this isn't making it easier. It's hard to stick to the original, logical decision when someone i love is in a lot of distress...because of me.

It hurts to see her so upset, and it hurts that i cant be with her the same way anymore...but I did make the decision for many reasons, and I know i cant go back on it because that would be the wrong decision.

So what makes this easier and when?
Fri 08/04/05 at 00:29
Regular
"Monochromatic"
Posts: 18,487
Time_Warp wrote:
> Is it normal for feelings and sentiment to cloud a decision this
> much?

Yeah ofcourse, you'll naturally doubt whether you made the right choice if you dont immediatley feel better. You can expect to go through thinking it was nothing at all at some point as well.
Fri 08/04/05 at 00:20
Regular
"Sal Paradise"
Posts: 708
Heh, this really sucks. Im generally very good at understanding people and feelings etc, but i need some help.

Its just sunk in whats happened and im really upset now, the fact that something that has lasted so long is just over.

I know i need to get through the next couple of weeks cos then i can pick myself up and get on with stuff in long term.

Ive never been in this position before though, so I need some advice. Right now im like thinking maybe I made the wrong decision, cos I still have feelings etc, but deep down I know if we'd carry on stuff would just have gone wrong again and it wouldnt have worked, so my decision is for the best.

Is it normal for feelings and sentiment to cloud a decision this much?

Anecdotes and advice appreciated :)

Thanks
Thu 07/04/05 at 14:36
Regular
Posts: 96
Time_Warp wrote:
> Chipseh wrote:
> Apologies on not having anything to say, but I just thought I'd say
> I
> remember you... we used to play through Golden Sun every day. :)
>
>
> Too right Howsy, too right :) What you up to these days?
>
> Thanks for sharing guys.
>
>
> Anyway, Im seeing her tomorow. She wants to explain some stuff and
> change my mind or something. I dunno how I'll handle it, especially
> as I know she will turn on the waterworks, and its hard to ignore
> that when u still have feelings for someone. But I'm sure I can just
> get on with it and tell her straight.
>
> Luckily, I do have a lot of friends and I wont be lonely etc, and I
> dont think I'll find it too hard to move on either.

Hope the waterworks don't affect your better judgement. I mean, if you weren't happy with her then what's the point in going backwards?

And if you don't end up getting back together with her, go easy on that Transitional Girl if you get one. :)~
Thu 07/04/05 at 12:51
Regular
"Sal Paradise"
Posts: 708
Chipseh wrote:
> Apologies on not having anything to say, but I just thought I'd say I
> remember you... we used to play through Golden Sun every day. :)


Too right Howsy, too right :) What you up to these days?

Thanks for sharing guys.


Anyway, Im seeing her tomorow. She wants to explain some stuff and change my mind or something. I dunno how I'll handle it, especially as I know she will turn on the waterworks, and its hard to ignore that when u still have feelings for someone. But I'm sure I can just get on with it and tell her straight.

Luckily, I do have a lot of friends and I wont be lonely etc, and I dont think I'll find it too hard to move on either.
Thu 07/04/05 at 11:59
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Love that t-shirt. Love the "I beat anorexia" too, but you'd have to buy it in XXL.

As for relationships, sorry to hear Time Warp, but I guess it's good to move on. I can't imagine too much worse than being stuck in a relationship that you've outgrown, become bored of and feel no love whatsoever.
Thu 07/04/05 at 11:39
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Not if you're intelligent and use a condom
Thu 07/04/05 at 11:04
Regular
Posts: 5,323
'Several' - a little bit STI prone?

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