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"Forseen Revenge"

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Fri 01/04/05 at 12:18
Regular
"In Soviet Russia..."
Posts: 3,934
I had to write this a while ago for a writing competition at school, based on the topic of revenge. Enjoy.

Forseen Revenge
He did it. It was as simple as that. In a matter of seconds, the fiend had come and taken away one of the most important things in her life. With a slash of the blade, her brother’s life had gone. Nineteen and a half years of knowing him disappeared, without a trace. She didn’t need a trace or clue. It was defiantly him.

Her brother hadn’t done anything wrong; in fact, he was one of the nicest people she’d ever met. He never argued, and now he never would. The thought of who did this made her shiver. She knew the monster that did this. Keanu Vanesh, well that was what his file said. Those that knew him just called him ‘that sick psycho’. The newspaper the day after the incident revealed to the world what she already knew. Vanesh was more than your ‘average’ murderer; he was “gifted”, quoting his relatives. Due to an extreme abnormality, he was able to make himself invisible. Calling it gifted or a threat to the public health, it didn’t really matter. All she knew was if that Vanesh couldn’t, then maybe her brother would still be alive. There were two things that she wanted more than anything in the world presently, the first of which was that her brother would just open his eyes and the whole thing would be a huge joke- but that was never going to happen. All she craved right now was revenge. How do you get revenge on someone that can practically hide himself at any moment? Half of it would be luck, or catching him at his weakest. However, when someone naturally isn’t weak this presents a problem. Where did he live? What did he look like?

Why did he do this?

The street was as cold, wet and empty as it was two weeks ago. She could almost make out the white lines where her brother once laid. There must have been thousands of more preferable places to be, but she was here for one reason. They say that a criminal returns to the scene of the crime, but they also say that what goes around comes around. Both phrases created little confidence within her, but you shouldn’t always believe what other people tell you. Every single object in the street seemed sinister, from the ruined flyers on the floor to the burnt out car in the corner. All she had with her was a black torch and a small penknife. It didn’t matter who would have the advantage, all that mattered was that justice was dealt. This psycho would be stopped.

After five minutes of waiting in fear, something came to mind. This twisted fiend had an extremely unfair advantage, which could mean that she might not even have a chance. It didn’t matter. Turning around and leaving would just like be turning her back on her brother. This would end tonight. A gale suddenly whipped down through the street, blasting all the flyers and litter up into the air and along with the breeze. An almost supernatural eeriness filled the air, sending shivers down her spine. That was when a cold voice struck her.

“You came back. Stupid girl.”
A sudden flow of panic rushed through her, as she looked around for any sign of Vanesh. She couldn’t see him, but his presence wasn’t unnoticed.

“Your brother was stupid to get involved with me, but you’re even thicker to come back.”

Out of the corner of her eye, there was the glint of the dim streetlight bouncing off something metallic. Invisibility didn’t help him disguise himself anymore. She slowly started backing away, as the glint started to move slowly towards her. If a person walked in at this particular moment, the sight of a floating knife would have made them have a heart attack. The hidden menace began laughing manically.

“No-one’s going to help you now…”

She turned and began to leave, but the memory of her brother prevented her from fleeing. A metallic ladder was situated to the right of her, tempting her like an oasis in the desert. She clambered up it and soon reached the top, giving her an opportunity to stop and look down. The rungs of the ladder were creaking more than usual- they were in use. All of a sudden, the knife was flung up into the air, narrowly missing her by a mere couple of centimetres. After a few seconds of ascent, it spun in the air and came zooming down, before becoming stuck on the edge of the building. There was silence. The knife was pulled out of the floor, and she instantly knew that Vanesh was there.

She ran, faster than she had ever run before. Movement on the rooftop was limited, but this was a good thing. A few minutes later, the chase ended. She had come to a dead end, and turned, her back pressed onto a white box. The knife stopped and rose. It was the moment of truth. The knife came crashing down. In the first stroke of luck for weeks, the metallic blade missed and crashed into the white box, lodging itself. She rolled out of Vanesh’s way, and found herself staring at a ‘Danger- High Voltage!’ sign. There was a lot of zapping, and Vanesh became visible. He was in pain, and a lot of it, thanks to the high voltage flowing through the knife into his hand. In a final burst of good luck, he staggered backwards, before falling off the edge of the building. She looked up at the moon, but did not smile. Justice had been served…

…but revenge wasn’t what it was made up to be.
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Fri 01/04/05 at 12:18
Regular
"In Soviet Russia..."
Posts: 3,934
I had to write this a while ago for a writing competition at school, based on the topic of revenge. Enjoy.

Forseen Revenge
He did it. It was as simple as that. In a matter of seconds, the fiend had come and taken away one of the most important things in her life. With a slash of the blade, her brother’s life had gone. Nineteen and a half years of knowing him disappeared, without a trace. She didn’t need a trace or clue. It was defiantly him.

Her brother hadn’t done anything wrong; in fact, he was one of the nicest people she’d ever met. He never argued, and now he never would. The thought of who did this made her shiver. She knew the monster that did this. Keanu Vanesh, well that was what his file said. Those that knew him just called him ‘that sick psycho’. The newspaper the day after the incident revealed to the world what she already knew. Vanesh was more than your ‘average’ murderer; he was “gifted”, quoting his relatives. Due to an extreme abnormality, he was able to make himself invisible. Calling it gifted or a threat to the public health, it didn’t really matter. All she knew was if that Vanesh couldn’t, then maybe her brother would still be alive. There were two things that she wanted more than anything in the world presently, the first of which was that her brother would just open his eyes and the whole thing would be a huge joke- but that was never going to happen. All she craved right now was revenge. How do you get revenge on someone that can practically hide himself at any moment? Half of it would be luck, or catching him at his weakest. However, when someone naturally isn’t weak this presents a problem. Where did he live? What did he look like?

Why did he do this?

The street was as cold, wet and empty as it was two weeks ago. She could almost make out the white lines where her brother once laid. There must have been thousands of more preferable places to be, but she was here for one reason. They say that a criminal returns to the scene of the crime, but they also say that what goes around comes around. Both phrases created little confidence within her, but you shouldn’t always believe what other people tell you. Every single object in the street seemed sinister, from the ruined flyers on the floor to the burnt out car in the corner. All she had with her was a black torch and a small penknife. It didn’t matter who would have the advantage, all that mattered was that justice was dealt. This psycho would be stopped.

After five minutes of waiting in fear, something came to mind. This twisted fiend had an extremely unfair advantage, which could mean that she might not even have a chance. It didn’t matter. Turning around and leaving would just like be turning her back on her brother. This would end tonight. A gale suddenly whipped down through the street, blasting all the flyers and litter up into the air and along with the breeze. An almost supernatural eeriness filled the air, sending shivers down her spine. That was when a cold voice struck her.

“You came back. Stupid girl.”
A sudden flow of panic rushed through her, as she looked around for any sign of Vanesh. She couldn’t see him, but his presence wasn’t unnoticed.

“Your brother was stupid to get involved with me, but you’re even thicker to come back.”

Out of the corner of her eye, there was the glint of the dim streetlight bouncing off something metallic. Invisibility didn’t help him disguise himself anymore. She slowly started backing away, as the glint started to move slowly towards her. If a person walked in at this particular moment, the sight of a floating knife would have made them have a heart attack. The hidden menace began laughing manically.

“No-one’s going to help you now…”

She turned and began to leave, but the memory of her brother prevented her from fleeing. A metallic ladder was situated to the right of her, tempting her like an oasis in the desert. She clambered up it and soon reached the top, giving her an opportunity to stop and look down. The rungs of the ladder were creaking more than usual- they were in use. All of a sudden, the knife was flung up into the air, narrowly missing her by a mere couple of centimetres. After a few seconds of ascent, it spun in the air and came zooming down, before becoming stuck on the edge of the building. There was silence. The knife was pulled out of the floor, and she instantly knew that Vanesh was there.

She ran, faster than she had ever run before. Movement on the rooftop was limited, but this was a good thing. A few minutes later, the chase ended. She had come to a dead end, and turned, her back pressed onto a white box. The knife stopped and rose. It was the moment of truth. The knife came crashing down. In the first stroke of luck for weeks, the metallic blade missed and crashed into the white box, lodging itself. She rolled out of Vanesh’s way, and found herself staring at a ‘Danger- High Voltage!’ sign. There was a lot of zapping, and Vanesh became visible. He was in pain, and a lot of it, thanks to the high voltage flowing through the knife into his hand. In a final burst of good luck, he staggered backwards, before falling off the edge of the building. She looked up at the moon, but did not smile. Justice had been served…

…but revenge wasn’t what it was made up to be.

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