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"A mouse needs assassinating"

Here's the deal.

There's a mouse in my bedroom. I know it, it knows it, and my cat knows it. The house is void of any mouse traps so I'm having to use dirty tactics (the cat spends more time at other peoples houses). I placed a 1-inch square cream cracker on the floor in hope of getting it to come out, and then I would throw a towel over it. The thing is, while I was typing this post the mouse had already taken the cracker, and an eating noise could be heard from under a wardrobe (too heavy to lift). As punishment for taking my cracker, If I catch the thing, I'll either force it down the toilet or take it to my local VETS, pretending it's my pet, then ask for the VET to stick a needle up its bum. I've now put some fresh cracker crumbs out on the floor and lay in wait. I hope it's still hungry as I want to show it pain.

phi11ip wrote:
> We had baby rats at the bottom of the garden, the cat got them all.
>
> Our cat gets loads of mice too, and baby robins, and the odd pigeon.

Meh, that ain't nothing. My cat once came home with a fairly large mole in it's mouth and the damn thing was still alive. We locked all of our cats inside for the night and let the mole free in our garden, where the ba****d proceeded to dig several holes.

Now Bert, none of your larking about.

Thanks

Yes that was the joke, well done (y)

English_Bloke wrote:
> That's a load of crap...

literally

That's a load of crap...

Cheese gives mice diarrhoea.

If you don't want to kill it, put it in a source pan and launch it in to the sky as hard as you can, then it's down to gravity and god if the mouse survives or not.

WickedWare wrote:
> I hope it doesn't crap the cracker out
> onto my carpet.

:D You'll have it everywhere now.

FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Open up a little mouse nightclub, advertising free drinks and hot
> wimmens, then you just play the waiting game with a brick.

Mouse wimmens!!