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The Return of Damian
Note: I’m sorry I didn’t wait Grim Fish, but I am really, really bored. Hope you all like it. It’s not as long or possibly as funny as the last one. Enjoy!
SOMETIME AFTER THE SR POSSE GET A NEW MEMBER
Turbonutter is watching TV. He is intensely bored. Damian has run off to find Bill Gates, and Bill Gates appears to have serious jetlag somewhere. The sun shines, the World is fine, squirrels play in the trees. In short, life is hell.
Well, actually, not that much hell. Sniper appears to have gone missing somewhere. He could possibly have died again, but he usually sends a postcard. Grix is worried.
“You know, guys, we should go look for Sniper. He could be lying in a ditch in overwhelming agony somewhere. We haven’t seen him for days.”
“What’s your point?” said Swish
“I wanted to go and watch. I’m really bored.”
“Good idea! Why didn’t we think of this earlier!” said SHEEPY.
“Yeah!” said Swish “Let’s go!”
“Everyone to the Codemobile, Mk II!” shouted turbonutter.
SEVERAL FILLUPS AND 13 HOURS LATER
“Where could he be?” said Grix.
There is a glow on the horizon and a weird whooshing sound.
“Hey guys, there is a glow on the horizon and a weird whooshing sound!” said Swish.
“It looks like it could be Sniper. And it’s coming from the MS compound!” said Grix’s brain.
“Oh. Hey there Grix’s Brain. How was E3? Did you get a look at the GameCube?”
“Erm, yeah. It was great fun. I mean intellectual. Yeah. No fun at all. Just an intellectual visit. Yeah. But shouldn’t we be finding Sniper?”
“OK then.” Said turbonutter “To the Codemobile!”
OUTSIDE THE MS COMPOUND
There is huge energy beam coming out of the top of the building. The whole ground around is shaking and there is a sound that sounds like a cross between the whirring of a computer and hundreds of little children quietly screaming.
“It looks different. Less well built.” said Swish.
“Hmmm, it does actually.” Said Grix “Maybe there’s an evil force inside having an effect on it.”
“Let’s go inside!”
Suddenly the doors of the compound glow red-hot and blow off as if they are merely cardboard. An excessive amount of fog rolls out of the doorway and a brilliant white light is coming from behind. Gradually, out of the fog, a shape emerges. That shape eventually appears to be…
“Cheatguru!” Shouted Your Honour with a mix of alarm and rage.
“yes it is i cheatguru! You all ostrisizedf me from the spesdial reserv discusions and now i hav teemd up w/ damian gates to rool the wurld!”
“ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH” screamed Your Honour “You will not get away with this slaughter of the English language this time. Utter your final breaths in terror as you feel the wrath of my body in rage! I call upon the Four Kings of Tireen, come forth and show cheatguru HIS DESTINY!!!”
The sky grows dark and clouds begin to gather. Huge streams of lightning strike the ground simultaneously in the same place and begin rotating round the same spot until all the posse can make out is a ball of blurred light and time. The bolts turn red and out of the spectacular rides four huge knights on blood-red chargers. They begin circling cheatguru with the points of their lances just millimetres away from sweat-drenched belly. They circle faster and faster and their lances glow electric blue until a disc of power surrounds cheatguru. His form begins to melt and shimmer, and he lets out of scream of agony that rings through the hearts of the posse, until with a blinding flash and shower of sparks, cheatguru disappears with the four horsemen. All that is left are two sets of four grooves dug into the ground and what looks like four fingers of grass covered soil sticking out of the ground.
“Wow Your Honour.” Said ssxpro. “Don’t you think you took it a bit too far?”
“He really, really gets on my nerves.”
“Fair doos. What now?”
“Now, we find Sniper.”
“But where do we go? (Vote for me).” Said er-no.
“I’m guessing he’s on the top floor of the compound, but I don’t fancy wading through all the obstacles this time.”
“Brain,” said Grix, “Think of a way to get to the top of the MS compound”
“Right-oh!”
There is silence for a few moments.
“I know! Zeldapro: Use you amazing Link-like abilities to fasion a rope out of the surrounding grass and twigs. Er-no: Tie the rope around your waist. Goatboy: Use your inherited super-head-butt to punt er-no into the window just below the top floor. Any questions?”
“Yeah,” said er-no, “why do I have to get punted?”
“Well, it’s because, well, to be honest, it’s almost certain that you’re going to be the next notable, and everyone hates you for it. Right, Goatboy: GO!”
“NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……!”
THE FLOOR JUST BELOW THE TOP FLOOR
“Great. We all made it safely and without harm.” Said Swish
“What about me?” said er-no
“You don’t count”
“Wait. What’s that noise?” said Grix
“What?” said SHEEPY. “Oh, sorry, I just realised Swish is a newbie. DIE NEWBIE SCUM!”
*prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod*
“YOU TWO, STOP IT!” shouted Grix. “We need to go find Sniper!
UP THE STAIRS
“Aha. It is I, Damian Gates! I have been expecting you. Welcome to my arena. Look above you.”
“Look! It’s Sniper. What’s happening to him?”
“I have am harnessing Sniper’s energy using a fusion generator and by showing him back-to-back party political b broadcasts. The power he unleashes drives a pair of electromagnets that attract the small metal fragments in the Moon and pull it towards Earth. In exactly one hour, the World will be destroyed, Mwwhhaa wha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I’ll leave you to save the world, while I make a cowardly but sensible escape. Au revoir!”
Damian jumps out of the window onto a helicopter below.
“Fiend.” Said Your Honour. “We have to stop the moon. Everybody, to the window! Now, Grix, FantasyMeister, Ant and Meka Dragon – use your notable’s powers to reverse the direction of the moon, while I figure out how to shut down the magnets.
The four link hands and chant their power mantra “tonus magnus dominus, tonus magnus dominus”. I bolt of sheer energy streams out of them. It’s strikes the Moon with the force of a thousand Hiroshima’s and an ear-splitting creaking fills the ears of every man and woman on Earth. The Moon begins to slow down, but it still keeps coming. It’s entering the Earth’s atmosphere, and the posse shield their eyes from the blinding light.
“It’s no good.” Shouted Your Honour. “I can’t figure out a way of stopping it, and we can’t slow down the Moon!”
“There’s only one way of stopping this!” Shouted Sniper, straining to make himself heard. “It’s very drastic, but it’s the only way.” He said, as a tear forms in his eye. “You’re going to have to kill me!”
“OK” Said SHEEPY
..:://BANG\::..
-------------
THE END
-------------
Thank you for reading this far.
Note: I’m sorry I didn’t wait Grim Fish, but I am really, really bored. Hope you all like it. It’s not as long or possibly as funny as the last one. Enjoy!
SOMETIME AFTER THE SR POSSE GET A NEW MEMBER
Turbonutter is watching TV. He is intensely bored. Damian has run off to find Bill Gates, and Bill Gates appears to have serious jetlag somewhere. The sun shines, the World is fine, squirrels play in the trees. In short, life is hell.
Well, actually, not that much hell. Sniper appears to have gone missing somewhere. He could possibly have died again, but he usually sends a postcard. Grix is worried.
“You know, guys, we should go look for Sniper. He could be lying in a ditch in overwhelming agony somewhere. We haven’t seen him for days.”
“What’s your point?” said Swish
“I wanted to go and watch. I’m really bored.”
“Good idea! Why didn’t we think of this earlier!” said SHEEPY.
“Yeah!” said Swish “Let’s go!”
“Everyone to the Codemobile, Mk II!” shouted turbonutter.
SEVERAL FILLUPS AND 13 HOURS LATER
“Where could he be?” said Grix.
There is a glow on the horizon and a weird whooshing sound.
“Hey guys, there is a glow on the horizon and a weird whooshing sound!” said Swish.
“It looks like it could be Sniper. And it’s coming from the MS compound!” said Grix’s brain.
“Oh. Hey there Grix’s Brain. How was E3? Did you get a look at the GameCube?”
“Erm, yeah. It was great fun. I mean intellectual. Yeah. No fun at all. Just an intellectual visit. Yeah. But shouldn’t we be finding Sniper?”
“OK then.” Said turbonutter “To the Codemobile!”
OUTSIDE THE MS COMPOUND
There is huge energy beam coming out of the top of the building. The whole ground around is shaking and there is a sound that sounds like a cross between the whirring of a computer and hundreds of little children quietly screaming.
“It looks different. Less well built.” said Swish.
“Hmmm, it does actually.” Said Grix “Maybe there’s an evil force inside having an effect on it.”
“Let’s go inside!”
Suddenly the doors of the compound glow red-hot and blow off as if they are merely cardboard. An excessive amount of fog rolls out of the doorway and a brilliant white light is coming from behind. Gradually, out of the fog, a shape emerges. That shape eventually appears to be…
“Cheatguru!” Shouted Your Honour with a mix of alarm and rage.
“yes it is i cheatguru! You all ostrisizedf me from the spesdial reserv discusions and now i hav teemd up w/ damian gates to rool the wurld!”
“ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH” screamed Your Honour “You will not get away with this slaughter of the English language this time. Utter your final breaths in terror as you feel the wrath of my body in rage! I call upon the Four Kings of Tireen, come forth and show cheatguru HIS DESTINY!!!”
The sky grows dark and clouds begin to gather. Huge streams of lightning strike the ground simultaneously in the same place and begin rotating round the same spot until all the posse can make out is a ball of blurred light and time. The bolts turn red and out of the spectacular rides four huge knights on blood-red chargers. They begin circling cheatguru with the points of their lances just millimetres away from sweat-drenched belly. They circle faster and faster and their lances glow electric blue until a disc of power surrounds cheatguru. His form begins to melt and shimmer, and he lets out of scream of agony that rings through the hearts of the posse, until with a blinding flash and shower of sparks, cheatguru disappears with the four horsemen. All that is left are two sets of four grooves dug into the ground and what looks like four fingers of grass covered soil sticking out of the ground.
“Wow Your Honour.” Said ssxpro. “Don’t you think you took it a bit too far?”
“He really, really gets on my nerves.”
“Fair doos. What now?”
“Now, we find Sniper.”
“But where do we go? (Vote for me).” Said er-no.
“I’m guessing he’s on the top floor of the compound, but I don’t fancy wading through all the obstacles this time.”
“Brain,” said Grix, “Think of a way to get to the top of the MS compound”
“Right-oh!”
There is silence for a few moments.
“I know! Zeldapro: Use you amazing Link-like abilities to fasion a rope out of the surrounding grass and twigs. Er-no: Tie the rope around your waist. Goatboy: Use your inherited super-head-butt to punt er-no into the window just below the top floor. Any questions?”
“Yeah,” said er-no, “why do I have to get punted?”
“Well, it’s because, well, to be honest, it’s almost certain that you’re going to be the next notable, and everyone hates you for it. Right, Goatboy: GO!”
“NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……!”
THE FLOOR JUST BELOW THE TOP FLOOR
“Great. We all made it safely and without harm.” Said Swish
“What about me?” said er-no
“You don’t count”
“Wait. What’s that noise?” said Grix
“What?” said SHEEPY. “Oh, sorry, I just realised Swish is a newbie. DIE NEWBIE SCUM!”
*prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod prod*
“YOU TWO, STOP IT!” shouted Grix. “We need to go find Sniper!
UP THE STAIRS
“Aha. It is I, Damian Gates! I have been expecting you. Welcome to my arena. Look above you.”
“Look! It’s Sniper. What’s happening to him?”
“I have am harnessing Sniper’s energy using a fusion generator and by showing him back-to-back party political b broadcasts. The power he unleashes drives a pair of electromagnets that attract the small metal fragments in the Moon and pull it towards Earth. In exactly one hour, the World will be destroyed, Mwwhhaa wha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I’ll leave you to save the world, while I make a cowardly but sensible escape. Au revoir!”
Damian jumps out of the window onto a helicopter below.
“Fiend.” Said Your Honour. “We have to stop the moon. Everybody, to the window! Now, Grix, FantasyMeister, Ant and Meka Dragon – use your notable’s powers to reverse the direction of the moon, while I figure out how to shut down the magnets.
The four link hands and chant their power mantra “tonus magnus dominus, tonus magnus dominus”. I bolt of sheer energy streams out of them. It’s strikes the Moon with the force of a thousand Hiroshima’s and an ear-splitting creaking fills the ears of every man and woman on Earth. The Moon begins to slow down, but it still keeps coming. It’s entering the Earth’s atmosphere, and the posse shield their eyes from the blinding light.
“It’s no good.” Shouted Your Honour. “I can’t figure out a way of stopping it, and we can’t slow down the Moon!”
“There’s only one way of stopping this!” Shouted Sniper, straining to make himself heard. “It’s very drastic, but it’s the only way.” He said, as a tear forms in his eye. “You’re going to have to kill me!”
“OK” Said SHEEPY
..:://BANG\::..
-------------
THE END
-------------
Thank you for reading this far.
Page:
er-no reads the story...
...er-no leaves the topic.... not because its bad but because of his role in the story.
...er-no leaves the topic.... not because its bad but because of his role in the story.
15
Hey, do you think I should use some of these stories in my English coursework?
Hey, do you think I should use some of these stories in my English coursework?
Bonus wrote:
> Because your still sitting with the light off aren't
> you??
Hahahaha, nope now I dunno how to get something from the body or his head, got the skull and the underwear though.
> Because your still sitting with the light off aren't
> you??
Hahahaha, nope now I dunno how to get something from the body or his head, got the skull and the underwear though.
Soz, I forgot. There wasn't as much dialogue in this one, and I can't include everyone. Also, I've a list of posse members that I didn't have with me at the time.
wheres that story then
I would join in, but I don't fancy reading it al! Ah well, if I've got some time...
Because your still sitting with the light off aren't you??
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> How come I'm never in any stories?
*Boo hoo hoo*
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> How come I'm never in any stories?
*Boo hoo hoo*
Page: