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"Criminal Girlfriend!"

I think about the first time I saw here here eyes shone,here lips lovely and red,here hair shone like the sun she was so beautiful. But then five weeks after falling in love with her and her being my girlfriend. I found out she was a criminal. In the fifth week me and her had gone on a date on the way home she told me to stop the car. It was freezing outside and it was pitch black. She got a hat out her bag and pulled it over her face it had eye holes and mouth holes in it we had stopped right outside a bank. She threw a hat to me to. I threw it back at her I wasn't going to rob a bank. But she forced me to because she said if I didn't do it she wouldn't love me anymore. So I pulled the hat over my face and she handed me a gun too. A tear came to my eye I couldn't belive she was a Criminal! I jumped out the car and she threw a rope to the roof she pulled herself up on to the roof. I pulled myself up to and got on to the roof.

She opened a door on the roof and dropped a rope down it she slid down the rope and landed on the floor in the bank. I slid down the rope to. There were lasers everywhere on the floor. She flipped all over the lasers and got to the wall all the lasers went off and I walked along the shining floor. But then all of a sudden I heard running feet then they stopped someone was behind me. I span round "You stop don't move" shouted a secrity guard that was behind me! I ran for it and jumped up to the rope. I climbed up quickly and got on to the roof I saw my girlfriend running and she jumped on to the rope she had money bags in her hands. The secrity guard was trying to shoot her. She jumped on to the roof and pulled the rope up she closed the door on the roof and slid down the rope at the side I slid down too. I jumped in my car and she threw the money bags into the car and jumped in. I sped off down the road with the Criminal Girlfriend in the back a bullet came flying though the back of the car. The next minute I saw blood splat on to the windows my Criminal Girlfriend was dead. Even if she was a Criminal I loved her,If she had killed someone I still loved,if she did do a hit and run I still loved her,If she was dead I still loved her.....

I think about the first time I saw here here eyes shone,here lips lovely and red,here hair shone like the sun she was so beautiful. But then five weeks after falling in love with her and her being my girlfriend. I found out she was a criminal. In the fifth week me and her had gone on a date on the way home she told me to stop the car. It was freezing outside and it was pitch black. She got a hat out her bag and pulled it over her face it had eye holes and mouth holes in it we had stopped right outside a bank. She threw a hat to me to. I threw it back at her I wasn't going to rob a bank. But she forced me to because she said if I didn't do it she wouldn't love me anymore. So I pulled the hat over my face and she handed me a gun too. A tear came to my eye I couldn't belive she was a Criminal! I jumped out the car and she threw a rope to the roof she pulled herself up on to the roof. I pulled myself up to and got on to the roof.

She opened a door on the roof and dropped a rope down it she slid down the rope and landed on the floor in the bank. I slid down the rope to. There were lasers everywhere on the floor. She flipped all over the lasers and got to the wall all the lasers went off and I walked along the shining floor. But then all of a sudden I heard running feet then they stopped someone was behind me. I span round "You stop don't move" shouted a secrity guard that was behind me! I ran for it and jumped up to the rope. I climbed up quickly and got on to the roof I saw my girlfriend running and she jumped on to the rope she had money bags in her hands. The secrity guard was trying to shoot her. She jumped on to the roof and pulled the rope up she closed the door on the roof and slid down the rope at the side I slid down too. I jumped in my car and she threw the money bags into the car and jumped in. I sped off down the road with the Criminal Girlfriend in the back a bullet came flying though the back of the car. The next minute I saw blood splat on to the windows my Criminal Girlfriend was dead. Even if she was a Criminal I loved her,If she had killed someone I still loved,if she did do a hit and run I still loved her,If she was dead I still loved her.....

Y'know, turn that into song and you have a new Streets.

Just better, in every possible way.

Do you think its good for a short story then?

That is the most arrousing piece of literature i have ever set my beautiful eyes on.

Thank you!

crossbob wrote:
> Do you think its good for a short story then?

Umm. I do believe this is a similar plot to that one show with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery. Ohh, what's the name...hm? Where she goes flipping through the lasers to steal the art.. She's great.

It would be easier to read with proper punctuation. It's an attempt and that's all that matters, but definitely check the plot love.

But did you like it?

No.

Why?

Because it was poorly written, predictable and, most of all, crap.