The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Here's my first SR Posse adventure. Enjoy :)
SOMETIME AFTER TONY BECAME BACK TO NORMAL, IN THE SR POSSE HQ
“Great adventure we had getting Tony back to normal” said ssxpro.
“Yeah, we must talk about that sometime” said Grim Fish
“Hmmm”
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
News Flash
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bill Gates may be gone, but now his cloned and identical-but-more-powerful son Damian Gates has activated a secret subroutine in Windows, which is turning the world’s computers into evil robots that are rampaging everywhere. In the age-old tradition, a question has been answered and a new one asked: Why Windows was so big and what will we do now?
BACK AT THE SR POSSE HQ
“Did you hear that?” Shouted Grix.
“Sorry,” said er-no “I had curry last night.”
“No, I mean the news flash”
“What’s your point?” said Ant
“I, err, well, um. I feel that we should do something. Yeah?”
“All right then.”
“AAARRRGH! SOMEBODY HELP!”
“Wassup, Reaper[DC]?”
“MY DC HAS SUDDENLY BECOME EVIL. IT’S SPITTING DISKS AND ALL THE GAMES HAVE GONE BAD!”
“And…”
Suddenly it realised that it was fighting a losing battle against many entities more powerful that itself, and died.
“Bummer.” Said Reaper.
“We’ve got to do something about this!” Cried Grix. “Everyone, we’ve got to do the impossible – break into the Microsoft compound!”
“But Grix, no-one’s ever done that before!” Said Sniper.
“Which is why you’re heading up the mission!” Said Grix.
“Oh, for the love of cheese…”
“Brain, we need you to think up a plan.” Grix asked his brain.
“Status: crashed. ..::WINBRAIN WAS NOT SHUT DOWN PROPERLY. ONE OR MORE OF YOUR BRAINS MAY BE STUFFED::..” Was all that came back.
“Oh no! What are we going to do?” Mourned Grix.
A SOUND OF AN ENGINE, SCREECHING TYRES AND THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR
“Who could that be at a time like this?” Said SHEEPY, moving towards the door.
“Hi guys! It’s turbonutter!” said turbonutter
“Hey turbo, me old mucker, what are you doing here?” Said ssxpro in a scarily Jamie Oliver type accent.
“Well, I just became a notable for my post ‘Why I hate Bad Grammar’! I heard about the Windows disaster, and I thought you could use my superior knowledge of the Win32 kernel and computer programming to deanimate the Win32_mad#@%284_WS subroutine. That and my car.”
“Sure turbo, come aboard.”
“Beaut.”
LATER, AT THE MS COMPOUND
Thunderous boom shake the ground. Lightning strikes and singe the earth. Jets of fire shoot into the air.
“REAPER! THE DC IS DEAD! LEAVE IT!” Shouted Pb
“Sorry”
“So, turbo, how do we get in?” asked Sniper
“Well, the front doors are locked using…bolts.”
“What? No super strong laser force field phasor beam?”
“No, that would require Windows. Even Microsoft aren’t that stupid”.
“Damn it! That thing’s impenetrable!” Dismayed The Game. “What do you suggest we do now?”
“Damian’s office is on the 5th floor. That means we’ll have to go through 5 floors, each one possibly with a varied obstacle that gets harder as we go up.”
“Makes sense, but how do we get in?
“Sniper, can you use your energy field to blast the door down?”
“No, but I can use turbo’s car to knock it down!” Said Sniper, climbing in.
“What? NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
..:://BOOM\::..
“Egads, it worked!” Said Dringo “Glad I thought of it.”
Sniper frowned. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“What?”
“Whatever. Just don’t do it again”
Dringo looks puzzled, but ignores it.
INSIDE THE MS COMPOUND
“Right, what now?” Said Pb.
“Well, through that door is a tiled floor” said turbonutter. “There is only one safe path through. If you step on the wrong tile, you get fried with deadly plasma.”
“Why is there a path?” Said ssxpro.
“???”
“Right then. Sniper!”
“WHAT?” Shouted Sniper
“But you’re the, erm, leader!”
“But what about turbo? He needs to, err, prove himself. Yeah. Prove himself.”
“OK then.” Said turbo. “Why don’t I take a bumper from my car and use it to prod the tiles and see which ones will blow up? As a kind of last tribute.
“Oh. OK then” Said Sniper
FIVE MINUTES, AND SEVERAL NEAR MISSES LATER
“That was easy.” Said Pb
“Wha…” Said turbo.
“Yeah, well done turbo” Said ssxpro
“Eeuuoough…” Said turbo.
SECOND FLOOR
“What’s this” Asked Sniper.
“It looks like some kind of hover board.” Said ssxpro
“Yeah, why’s it here?”
“I don’t know. Lets have a look round the next corner and see what’s there.”
THERE IS A LARGE, PIRANHA FILLED STRETCH OF WATER
“It’s a large, piranha filled stretch of water!”
“ssxpro, why don’t you use your SSX skills and get to the other side. I think there’s a button to cover the water.” Suggested Sniper
“OK. But can I ask to questions? A) Why is there a convenient hove board just left here and B) What’s the point of having a button to cover up the water?”
“I don’t know. Ask Bill Gates.” Said Sniper
“He’s dead.”
“Or Damian.”
“He’s evil.”
“So am I.”
“Whatever. Here I go then!”
“Look! He’s going to make it. Oooh, bit of a wobble there. Now he’s just showing off. Look at him, with his Crippled Squirrel to Canadian Back Bacons”
“Oh well. He made it.”
THIRD FLOOR
“There’s nothing here.” Observed Grix. “Better be on the look out. Could be a trap”
FOURTH FLOOR
“Well, who’d have thought? No obstacles on that floor.”
“No.”
“Hey, where’s Sniper?” Asked turbo
“We don’t know what you’re talking about.” Said Grix
“But…”
“I don’t think he came with us. He DIDN’T come with us.” Said Grix, in an eerie voice.
“Oh.”
FOURTH FLOOR
As soon as the Posse opened the door, a hoard of robots came racing at them. Armed with lasers and plasma cannons, the group got ready to fight
Turbonutter used his lightning-quick reactions honed from years of playing Ridge Racer to lure two robots into crashing. SHEEPY stole one of the robot’s lasers and started hacking at the left right and centre. Grix engaged one of them in a conversation about the conductivity of polymers. He promptly bored it to death.
“There’s too many!” Shouted Grim Fish. “We need a better way of killing them!
“I think if you open their backs there’s a control terminal!” Replied turbo.
“Try starting up a game on them.”
“What, so they’ll go into game playing mode?”
“Well, I was kinda hoping they’d crash. Probably”
The Posse started up Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000 on all the remaining robots. Some tried to fly out the window. A few overloaded with the complexity of it. Many just stopped running, with a strange blue look in their eyes.
FIFTH, AND FINAL FLOOR
“Ah ha.” Said Damien.“ You managed to get past my challenges. I never thought you would get this far. Normally, my predecessor would engage in a high-energy and very destructive fight with you now. But he died last time, and has been having trouble getting a flight up. New Labour, eh? Anyway, I am not going to fight you, but simply do the sensible thing and jump out of this window, onto a waiting helicopter. One last thing: somewhere in this room there is a button to stop the Windows mayhem. See if you can ind it. You have 30 seconds before the whole building blows up. Chow!”
“You fiend! Shouted Grim Fish. “Quick, Grix, use your superior brain power to figure out where this button is.”
“But my brain went to E3!”
“What! Well, try anyway.”
“OK, I’ll try my brain calling mantra. I call upon the horsemen of Gandoth, The Winged gatekeepers of Herdos, the sea creatures of the Sea of Life, and Tony of Special Reserve, RETURN MY BRAIN TO ME!”
“You git. They were about to unveil the GameCube. What could be more important than that?”
“That’s not a very impressive entrance. I’ll expect better of you next time. Anyway, work out where in this room the button to stop Windows from causing mayhem is.”
“Well, that’s simple. It’s in the one place no one would think to look.”
“Great. So where is the most hidden place Microsoft could think to put a feature?!
“Well, that’s obvious. Right in front of your eyes!”
Grix looks up, and sure enough, there is a big red button saying “push me to stop windows from rampaging.”
“Nah, it can’t be.” Said Grix.
“Try it if you don’t believe me.” Said his brain.
“OK Then.”
There is a blinding white flash, and a loud rumbling. A huge laser beam shoots up from the MS compound, hits a satellite and spreads over the earth. There is silence, and then, a quiet cheering starts up. The cheering gets louder, until it sounds like everyone on Earth is cheering. A brass and starts playing, and a hoard of people can be seen running over the hill, waving banners and confetti. The banners read: “THANK YOU, SR POSSE”
“Where did they get the banners and confetti from?” Asked Grix.
“I don’t know. What matter is, we’re heroes! Again!” Said Sniper
“Hey, Snipsey, you’re back! Good to see you again. How did you get here?”
“I just took the next flight.”
“But hang on, if you got a flight, that means… Bill Gates is back…”
AND THE STORY CONTINUES…
Hope you liked it. What did you think?
SOMETIME AFTER TONY BECAME BACK TO NORMAL, IN THE SR POSSE HQ
“Great adventure we had getting Tony back to normal” said ssxpro.
“Yeah, we must talk about that sometime” said Grim Fish
“Hmmm”
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
News Flash
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bill Gates may be gone, but now his cloned and identical-but-more-powerful son Damian Gates has activated a secret subroutine in Windows, which is turning the world’s computers into evil robots that are rampaging everywhere. In the age-old tradition, a question has been answered and a new one asked: Why Windows was so big and what will we do now?
BACK AT THE SR POSSE HQ
“Did you hear that?” Shouted Grix.
“Sorry,” said er-no “I had curry last night.”
“No, I mean the news flash”
“What’s your point?” said Ant
“I, err, well, um. I feel that we should do something. Yeah?”
“All right then.”
“AAARRRGH! SOMEBODY HELP!”
“Wassup, Reaper[DC]?”
“MY DC HAS SUDDENLY BECOME EVIL. IT’S SPITTING DISKS AND ALL THE GAMES HAVE GONE BAD!”
“And…”
Suddenly it realised that it was fighting a losing battle against many entities more powerful that itself, and died.
“Bummer.” Said Reaper.
“We’ve got to do something about this!” Cried Grix. “Everyone, we’ve got to do the impossible – break into the Microsoft compound!”
“But Grix, no-one’s ever done that before!” Said Sniper.
“Which is why you’re heading up the mission!” Said Grix.
“Oh, for the love of cheese…”
“Brain, we need you to think up a plan.” Grix asked his brain.
“Status: crashed. ..::WINBRAIN WAS NOT SHUT DOWN PROPERLY. ONE OR MORE OF YOUR BRAINS MAY BE STUFFED::..” Was all that came back.
“Oh no! What are we going to do?” Mourned Grix.
A SOUND OF AN ENGINE, SCREECHING TYRES AND THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR
“Who could that be at a time like this?” Said SHEEPY, moving towards the door.
“Hi guys! It’s turbonutter!” said turbonutter
“Hey turbo, me old mucker, what are you doing here?” Said ssxpro in a scarily Jamie Oliver type accent.
“Well, I just became a notable for my post ‘Why I hate Bad Grammar’! I heard about the Windows disaster, and I thought you could use my superior knowledge of the Win32 kernel and computer programming to deanimate the Win32_mad#@%284_WS subroutine. That and my car.”
“Sure turbo, come aboard.”
“Beaut.”
LATER, AT THE MS COMPOUND
Thunderous boom shake the ground. Lightning strikes and singe the earth. Jets of fire shoot into the air.
“REAPER! THE DC IS DEAD! LEAVE IT!” Shouted Pb
“Sorry”
“So, turbo, how do we get in?” asked Sniper
“Well, the front doors are locked using…bolts.”
“What? No super strong laser force field phasor beam?”
“No, that would require Windows. Even Microsoft aren’t that stupid”.
“Damn it! That thing’s impenetrable!” Dismayed The Game. “What do you suggest we do now?”
“Damian’s office is on the 5th floor. That means we’ll have to go through 5 floors, each one possibly with a varied obstacle that gets harder as we go up.”
“Makes sense, but how do we get in?
“Sniper, can you use your energy field to blast the door down?”
“No, but I can use turbo’s car to knock it down!” Said Sniper, climbing in.
“What? NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
..:://BOOM\::..
“Egads, it worked!” Said Dringo “Glad I thought of it.”
Sniper frowned. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“What?”
“Whatever. Just don’t do it again”
Dringo looks puzzled, but ignores it.
INSIDE THE MS COMPOUND
“Right, what now?” Said Pb.
“Well, through that door is a tiled floor” said turbonutter. “There is only one safe path through. If you step on the wrong tile, you get fried with deadly plasma.”
“Why is there a path?” Said ssxpro.
“???”
“Right then. Sniper!”
“WHAT?” Shouted Sniper
“But you’re the, erm, leader!”
“But what about turbo? He needs to, err, prove himself. Yeah. Prove himself.”
“OK then.” Said turbo. “Why don’t I take a bumper from my car and use it to prod the tiles and see which ones will blow up? As a kind of last tribute.
“Oh. OK then” Said Sniper
FIVE MINUTES, AND SEVERAL NEAR MISSES LATER
“That was easy.” Said Pb
“Wha…” Said turbo.
“Yeah, well done turbo” Said ssxpro
“Eeuuoough…” Said turbo.
SECOND FLOOR
“What’s this” Asked Sniper.
“It looks like some kind of hover board.” Said ssxpro
“Yeah, why’s it here?”
“I don’t know. Lets have a look round the next corner and see what’s there.”
THERE IS A LARGE, PIRANHA FILLED STRETCH OF WATER
“It’s a large, piranha filled stretch of water!”
“ssxpro, why don’t you use your SSX skills and get to the other side. I think there’s a button to cover the water.” Suggested Sniper
“OK. But can I ask to questions? A) Why is there a convenient hove board just left here and B) What’s the point of having a button to cover up the water?”
“I don’t know. Ask Bill Gates.” Said Sniper
“He’s dead.”
“Or Damian.”
“He’s evil.”
“So am I.”
“Whatever. Here I go then!”
“Look! He’s going to make it. Oooh, bit of a wobble there. Now he’s just showing off. Look at him, with his Crippled Squirrel to Canadian Back Bacons”
“Oh well. He made it.”
THIRD FLOOR
“There’s nothing here.” Observed Grix. “Better be on the look out. Could be a trap”
FOURTH FLOOR
“Well, who’d have thought? No obstacles on that floor.”
“No.”
“Hey, where’s Sniper?” Asked turbo
“We don’t know what you’re talking about.” Said Grix
“But…”
“I don’t think he came with us. He DIDN’T come with us.” Said Grix, in an eerie voice.
“Oh.”
FOURTH FLOOR
As soon as the Posse opened the door, a hoard of robots came racing at them. Armed with lasers and plasma cannons, the group got ready to fight
Turbonutter used his lightning-quick reactions honed from years of playing Ridge Racer to lure two robots into crashing. SHEEPY stole one of the robot’s lasers and started hacking at the left right and centre. Grix engaged one of them in a conversation about the conductivity of polymers. He promptly bored it to death.
“There’s too many!” Shouted Grim Fish. “We need a better way of killing them!
“I think if you open their backs there’s a control terminal!” Replied turbo.
“Try starting up a game on them.”
“What, so they’ll go into game playing mode?”
“Well, I was kinda hoping they’d crash. Probably”
The Posse started up Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000 on all the remaining robots. Some tried to fly out the window. A few overloaded with the complexity of it. Many just stopped running, with a strange blue look in their eyes.
FIFTH, AND FINAL FLOOR
“Ah ha.” Said Damien.“ You managed to get past my challenges. I never thought you would get this far. Normally, my predecessor would engage in a high-energy and very destructive fight with you now. But he died last time, and has been having trouble getting a flight up. New Labour, eh? Anyway, I am not going to fight you, but simply do the sensible thing and jump out of this window, onto a waiting helicopter. One last thing: somewhere in this room there is a button to stop the Windows mayhem. See if you can ind it. You have 30 seconds before the whole building blows up. Chow!”
“You fiend! Shouted Grim Fish. “Quick, Grix, use your superior brain power to figure out where this button is.”
“But my brain went to E3!”
“What! Well, try anyway.”
“OK, I’ll try my brain calling mantra. I call upon the horsemen of Gandoth, The Winged gatekeepers of Herdos, the sea creatures of the Sea of Life, and Tony of Special Reserve, RETURN MY BRAIN TO ME!”
“You git. They were about to unveil the GameCube. What could be more important than that?”
“That’s not a very impressive entrance. I’ll expect better of you next time. Anyway, work out where in this room the button to stop Windows from causing mayhem is.”
“Well, that’s simple. It’s in the one place no one would think to look.”
“Great. So where is the most hidden place Microsoft could think to put a feature?!
“Well, that’s obvious. Right in front of your eyes!”
Grix looks up, and sure enough, there is a big red button saying “push me to stop windows from rampaging.”
“Nah, it can’t be.” Said Grix.
“Try it if you don’t believe me.” Said his brain.
“OK Then.”
There is a blinding white flash, and a loud rumbling. A huge laser beam shoots up from the MS compound, hits a satellite and spreads over the earth. There is silence, and then, a quiet cheering starts up. The cheering gets louder, until it sounds like everyone on Earth is cheering. A brass and starts playing, and a hoard of people can be seen running over the hill, waving banners and confetti. The banners read: “THANK YOU, SR POSSE”
“Where did they get the banners and confetti from?” Asked Grix.
“I don’t know. What matter is, we’re heroes! Again!” Said Sniper
“Hey, Snipsey, you’re back! Good to see you again. How did you get here?”
“I just took the next flight.”
“But hang on, if you got a flight, that means… Bill Gates is back…”
AND THE STORY CONTINUES…
Hope you liked it. What did you think?
Page:
Me to
Saw that. Good one Sheepy!
I am writing in the stories again, I stopped AGES ago becuase I kept losing track of it
nah. Stroies in the prime forum is great.
Perhaps we should have a separate story forum after all...
Although it's not quite the same as getting everyone involved in writing one.
Although it's not quite the same as getting everyone involved in writing one.
Can do Grim Fish
Together, we will take over the SR discussions, then the UK, then, we shall install out software in every home computer in the world. We shall be loved by all!
Hang on...
Together, we will take over the SR discussions, then the UK, then, we shall install out software in every home computer in the world. We shall be loved by all!
Hang on...
any time
yes see the improvment already
Page: