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"Stupid Valentines"

so very lonely...
damn commercialism, rubbing it in my face...

Grix thraves mesage there was pretty intelligent (the epic one), and seemed to be honest. The problem with me is that I ahve most of the deficiencies he mentioned (in my opinion, of course), but I still want to love someone. I'm too damn shy to even approach anyone, which is a bit annoying. I lack any knd of confidence, I think my voice is screwed up, I'm ugly, I tower intimidatingly over other people my age and, though I tend towards the latest fashions, most people think I'm too smart to be cool. I'm going to kill myself (although if every adolescent male was entirely truthful, the overcrowding problem wouldn't be as bad).

you should have stolen the bag. and eaten the damn (or possibly ham) sandwich. that would have shown them.

hah, stupid valentines is over. *no longer feels lonely*

Me too

I've yet to explode, one morning on the train somebody won't move their plastic Next bag, which contains a sandwhich... OH NO that needs a seat of its own whilst I NEED TO STAND.... MOVE IT NOW

I like being lonely, it gives me the opportunity to compact a tight ball of rage deep inside my stomach, sat dormant until some none-plussed burger king employee forgets my onion rings.

Wardy_MoD wrote:
> Valentines Day = The Day to make single people feel bad (but slightly
> richer!)

1) It doesn't bother me at all.
2) How exactly does it make you richer? Not losing money isn't the same thing as getting money.

I thought knights for crusade too. Probably should have wrote that.

I got as far as "crusade" and started imagining knights.

Damn attention span.

I've been in love a few times. It's been great, it's been terrible. Now? Well frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

I'm deranged, psychotic and schizophrenic, which I think just comes under 'good sense of humour' and 'nice smile' on womens polls. Long term relationships don't work because women don't generally find stability in unstability, and short term one night stands, no matter how I try, make me feel empty, and more often than not make me hate myself for being with people I don't care about. A few times I've even just given up and walked away. I'm no Goatboy, I just fail to find pleasure in it. Maybe I'll go on a crusade when I'm older, but for now I don't feel for it. Maybe I've just worn myself out.

I've tried to love someone again, but I seem to have become somewhat apathetic. It worries me, maybe not enough. But I do wonder if I'm even capable of finding love again; I've been with beautiful women, utterly caring and compassionate, with good senses of humour, and I would just feel nothing for them at all. I wonder if I'll ever meet someone that would stand out so much, that would rid me of apathy and force me to care again. I wish I was gay, then things would make sense, instead of this hidious acknowledgement that I may well have lost all joy from love, like some stupid drug that I've become bored of. In a way, it's kind of a strength for feelings to fade so easily, it stops me from ever becoming addicted to something. I'm truly screwed if I find something that doesn't fade though. Maybe I'll become addicted to fear, be found dead in a backstreet, clutching a horror novel, killed by my own uncertainty. Or then, possibly, I'm over-reacting because I've never met the right person. Who knows?

Does someone need love? Maybe. Maybe I need love and I fail to realise it, but I feel that I don't. I don't believe there's a certain thing that would raise me as such, no third party that would improve my life considerably. Be it items, people, or otherwise. But I don't know what I need anyway.

It's not understanding, I seem pretty simple, but it's always cool for someone to point something out about you that you've not noticed, which unfortunately seems to be most things for me. It's not compassion, or caring, I don't need people worrying about me. I don't need to trust someone, they can do whatever they want...

Pft, someone will come along, I'm sure. But then again, I never feel hunger pains, so maybe I'm missing the point. Actually, thinking about it, understanding is one of the coolest things I can come up with. It's not a desperate need or anything, but it's much more enjoyable than most things, wave-lengths and all that. I think I do hang around with people who understand me better than I do, mainly because of my complete incompetence of figuring out myself at all. It also stops me from covering myself in tin-foil and the like.

I swear I had a point somewhere.

I think the point is, nobody really needs love. It's a nice thing to have, but the world will keep spinning. People will still burn on, your life will still trickle away at the same old speed. Maybe it can come across as some sort of meaning, an objective in a pointless world. Maybe it could help you believe you truly are some beautiful snowflake in a mountain of snow, or something. Importance.

It'll come, it'll go. Deal with it, and do not write stupid messages in your MSN name about it when you're in the middle of a breakup because you'll only look an idiot and nobody gives an ass. We are human beings and it's our duty to evolve, and control our emotions when so needed. If as an adult you can't control yourself, go back to the jungle and call back in a few millenia. But that's a different rant.

Valentines Day is a way to make money, if you hadn't noticed. If you need a special day of the year to show your love to someone, you can go back to the jungle too. Christians don't just celebrate Christmas.

But if you're lonely, find someone! Yes, you can live without love, and you don't need it, but that doesn't mean you have to lock yourself away and listen to deep lyrics about not being noticed. If you want to be noticed, be noticed. If you don't need to be noticed, and you're not intolerably lonely, then hi there! Nice to meet you.

But no-one deserves to be sad because of things they're scared to do that will hurt nobody and mean so little to anyone but themselves. All you're doing is creating regret, and that's something you don't need. Unless you don't regret anything, in which case you probably don't care about love that much anyway. Stop wasting my time.

I'm lost again, where am I now?

Who cares. If you're lonely, meet someone, online or off, confidence permitting. There are people out there, just hunt them down.

Male psychotic early 20's looking for intelligent company for sex, film and music, may get bored of you quickly, GSOH

I'm every woman's dream.

Not really....

Puddin' wrote:
> Take advantage. Find a girl who is also lonely.

hehe, the voice of bitter experience ;)