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"SSC-19: Monoman"

MONOMAN

It’s 4:38, and somewhere, just this second, a giant fickin’ hand has clicked on (with the minutest of tweaks) this land’s dimmerswitch — for the sky is now tinged with a veil of milkyblue . . . and at the forefront of my thoughts is a single fickin’ word: “Monomania” — the madness confined to one subject, or to one faculty of the mind: an unreasonable interest in any particular thing.

I’m beginning to think I am one: a mono-fickin’-maniac. I find myself becoming dangerously obsessed with one fickin’ thing. At the moment it’s writing. I spend all my spare time doing it. And when I can’t do it, I think about doing it. I’m the word-doggin’ equivalent of Stan “the fickin’ man”.

Four or five years ago it was golf. I used to play before going to work (at the crack of dawn), and then after work (in summer). Obsessed I was, fickin’ obsessed. I couldn’t stop until I reduced my handicap to “scratch” — which I eventually did, though it must be said that my local crazygolf course ain’t the most demanding.

When I was at school it was fickin’ cartoons. Comicbook cockface they called me. I would doodle like Rolf Harris’s Siamese twin. Walt Disney was my fickin’ doppelganger. Mainly I drew weird-looking men with eye-patches and dangerous beards up to no-fickin’-good . . . least did I know I would turn into one.

The problem is: once I become good at something, once I reach the point of being adept, I lose all fickin’ interest and switch to something else — to a new monomania. One minute I’m intoxicated (high on the drafts of heaven), the next minute I’ve turned-off completely (and in league with the damned).

It is a kind of madness, especially when I think of all the effort I’ve put in whilst consumed in the pursuit of the i-fickin’-deal. If I injected half as much energy into making money, I’d be as rich as Hugh fickin’ Hefner and The Pink fickin’ Panther combined. – Alas . . . once a ne’er-do-well, always a ne’er-do-well.

Loved the character, & the repetition of fickin’. It seems to be written as if a sudden moment of self-awareness. I think I would have liked more, to have seen this guy go about something with this kind of focus.

Ahh .. always a pleasure, BG.
*dismounts*

I quite liked looking at this one. If only i'd read it.

Excellent, best I've read in a while

In other words, "If I can ramble on with drunken toss half as successfully as he does..."

:D

English_Bloke wrote:
> This is like something Crossbob would have written

I feel like Ryan Giggs when comparing himself to George Best: "If I can be half as good as he then I'll be happy."

I thought that was brilliant, personally.

Um...wha?

I thought you'd given up smoking that stuff, Blacky. This is like something Crossbob would have written, just with bigger words and stuff.

It made me smile but left me feeling a little concerned for your sanity.

Thanks for the comments.
I nearly erased this thinking it was bad or sad or mad or something worse.

Made me smile. Nice one, Black glove.