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* * * * * * * * * * * * Intelligent new generation * * * * * * * * * * * *
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature, abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins in this fight."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"When you breathe (take in air), you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
"Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
"The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
"Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
"Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long."
"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking."
"The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays."
"Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote."
"The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the American colonists. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."
"The colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis."
"Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees."
"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."
"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was the time for the industrial revolution. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine."
"Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men."
"Madman Curie discovered radio."
Ok. Some of the later quotes above are taken from my last similar post "Blunders that students make in examinations". But I've done so just to include some really funny "gems" in this post, without making it a dull large paragraph which I had done in the previous post. Enjoy.
Every quote here, including the intro, is fictitious!
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature, abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins in this fight."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"When you breathe (take in air), you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
"Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
"The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
"Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
"Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long."
"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking."
"The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays."
"Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote."
"The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the American colonists. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."
"The colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis."
"Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees."
"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."
"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was the time for the industrial revolution. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine."
"Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men."
"Madman Curie discovered radio."
Ok. Some of the later quotes above are taken from my last similar post "Blunders that students make in examinations". But I've done so just to include some really funny "gems" in this post, without making it a dull large paragraph which I had done in the previous post. Enjoy.
Every quote here, including the intro, is fictitious!
* * * * * * * * * * * * Intelligent new generation * * * * * * * * * * * *
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature, abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins in this fight."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"When you breathe (take in air), you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
"Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
"The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
"Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
"Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long."
"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking."
"The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays."
"Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote."
"The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the American colonists. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."
"The colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis."
"Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees."
"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."
"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was the time for the industrial revolution. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine."
"Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men."
"Madman Curie discovered radio."
Ok. Some of the later quotes above are taken from my last similar post "Blunders that students make in examinations". But I've done so just to include some really funny "gems" in this post, without making it a dull large paragraph which I had done in the previous post. Enjoy.
Every quote here, including the intro, is fictitious!
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature, abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins in this fight."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"When you breathe (take in air), you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
"Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
"The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
"Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
"Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long."
"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking."
"The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays."
"Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote."
"The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the American colonists. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."
"The colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis."
"Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees."
"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."
"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was the time for the industrial revolution. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine."
"Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men."
"Madman Curie discovered radio."
Ok. Some of the later quotes above are taken from my last similar post "Blunders that students make in examinations". But I've done so just to include some really funny "gems" in this post, without making it a dull large paragraph which I had done in the previous post. Enjoy.
Every quote here, including the intro, is fictitious!
OLD'D
I would have believed it as well...