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I sat there in the woods waiting the trains flew past on the tracks. I loaded my rifle and got ready I jumped on my motorbike. I train flew past again I drove to the side of it and got ready I held my rifle out at the side of me and shot a passenger the train stopped and the driver jumped out I shot him and he fell to the floor. I drove to the drivers bit and jumped off my motorbike I got in the train and pulled up the lever to start the train. The train flew forwards and went down the tracks. I heard passenger screaming and crying the train sped up I was going to derail this and kill everyone but get out before I crashed it. As I sped up the train it started to shake. I pulled open the door and jumped out the train I saw the train skid of the tracks and smash into a bridge,I saw the people trying to get out the trains screaming and crying banging madly on the windows. But then I saw a child teddy in his hand crying it bought a tear to my eye and I thought why was I doing this what was the point. A piece of metal came flying towards me from the train and smacked me in the head I fell to the floor. Blood dripped from my head I pulled myself back up and ran to my motorbike I got back on it and rode it down the tracks I saw the child halfway down the tracks standing there crying. His teddy was still gripped tightly in his hand.
"Why did you have to do this what have we ever done to you why did you do it" cryed the little boy. I felt so unhappy why had I done this the little boy was right they had never done anything to me. I rode past the boy tears still running down my face the little boy though a stone at my head and kept on throwing them. I didn't want to do this but I had to at it made me so unhappy. My Boss had told me not to let anything get in my way so I had to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I ran up to the kid and held the rifle at his head I was shaking like crazy tear were running down the boys face and he looked so scared. "Im sorry Kid" I sadly said. I pulled the trigger and shot it though the kids brain the teddy fell from his I let go of the kid and dropped him to the tracks. I drove off on my bike but before I went I looked down at the teddy I could see sadness in his face to it made me fill so sad. I looked at the dead bodys in the train but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they stopped moving. I could see the sadness in the faces of the people,the sadness of death of death,the sadness of were they going to live. This was all my fault I had killed these people and it was all my fault the train crash,the killings,the killing of the child why had I done this I could not live anymore I pulled my pistol out my bag and held it at my head I shot the gun into my head I blew a hole into my head and fell to the tracks to the tracks of death!
"Why did you have to do this what have we ever done to you why did you do it" cryed the little boy. I felt so unhappy why had I done this the little boy was right they had never done anything to me. I rode past the boy tears still running down my face the little boy though a stone at my head and kept on throwing them. I didn't want to do this but I had to at it made me so unhappy. My Boss had told me not to let anything get in my way so I had to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I ran up to the kid and held the rifle at his head I was shaking like crazy tear were running down the boys face and he looked so scared. "Im sorry Kid" I sadly said. I pulled the trigger and shot it though the kids brain the teddy fell from his I let go of the kid and dropped him to the tracks. I drove off on my bike but before I went I looked down at the teddy I could see sadness in his face to it made me fill so sad. I looked at the dead bodys in the train but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they stopped moving. I could see the sadness in the faces of the people,the sadness of death of death,the sadness of were they going to live. This was all my fault I had killed these people and it was all my fault the train crash,the killings,the killing of the child why had I done this I could not live anymore I pulled my pistol out my bag and held it at my head I shot the gun into my head I blew a hole into my head and fell to the tracks to the tracks of death!
Thanks for the advise!
It's nice that you toyed with the idea of a reformed or not purely evil villain, and interesting that you were willing to cast the villain as the narrator. Both promising signs, but you seriously need to take things a little bit slower - work on your sentence structure, how to build suspense and quite poignantly your grammar and spelling. Get this sorted and it'll complement your action-packed imagination.
He'd have to run a long way though, surely?!
No he runs back to the motorbike!
great story!
I like how he managed to speed the train up enough the derail it, yet the motorbike was still nearby. It's like KITT on two wheels, following him wherever he goes :D
I like how he managed to speed the train up enough the derail it, yet the motorbike was still nearby. It's like KITT on two wheels, following him wherever he goes :D
Thank you very much you read track rats!
A rather excellent ending
crossbob wrote:
>and I thought why was I doing this what was the point.
>and I thought why was I doing this what was the point.
crossbob wrote:
> A piece of metal came flying towards me from the train and smacked me in
> the head I fell to the floor.
Serves you right, although the line did make me chuckle :D
> but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they
> stopped moving.
I wish I had a rifle that I could shout at to make it fire and kill people.
> A piece of metal came flying towards me from the train and smacked me in
> the head I fell to the floor.
Serves you right, although the line did make me chuckle :D
> but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they
> stopped moving.
I wish I had a rifle that I could shout at to make it fire and kill people.
I sat there in the woods waiting the trains flew past on the tracks. I loaded my rifle and got ready I jumped on my motorbike. I train flew past again I drove to the side of it and got ready I held my rifle out at the side of me and shot a passenger the train stopped and the driver jumped out I shot him and he fell to the floor. I drove to the drivers bit and jumped off my motorbike I got in the train and pulled up the lever to start the train. The train flew forwards and went down the tracks. I heard passenger screaming and crying the train sped up I was going to derail this and kill everyone but get out before I crashed it. As I sped up the train it started to shake. I pulled open the door and jumped out the train I saw the train skid of the tracks and smash into a bridge,I saw the people trying to get out the trains screaming and crying banging madly on the windows. But then I saw a child teddy in his hand crying it bought a tear to my eye and I thought why was I doing this what was the point. A piece of metal came flying towards me from the train and smacked me in the head I fell to the floor. Blood dripped from my head I pulled myself back up and ran to my motorbike I got back on it and rode it down the tracks I saw the child halfway down the tracks standing there crying. His teddy was still gripped tightly in his hand.
"Why did you have to do this what have we ever done to you why did you do it" cryed the little boy. I felt so unhappy why had I done this the little boy was right they had never done anything to me. I rode past the boy tears still running down my face the little boy though a stone at my head and kept on throwing them. I didn't want to do this but I had to at it made me so unhappy. My Boss had told me not to let anything get in my way so I had to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I ran up to the kid and held the rifle at his head I was shaking like crazy tear were running down the boys face and he looked so scared. "Im sorry Kid" I sadly said. I pulled the trigger and shot it though the kids brain the teddy fell from his I let go of the kid and dropped him to the tracks. I drove off on my bike but before I went I looked down at the teddy I could see sadness in his face to it made me fill so sad. I looked at the dead bodys in the train but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they stopped moving. I could see the sadness in the faces of the people,the sadness of death of death,the sadness of were they going to live. This was all my fault I had killed these people and it was all my fault the train crash,the killings,the killing of the child why had I done this I could not live anymore I pulled my pistol out my bag and held it at my head I shot the gun into my head I blew a hole into my head and fell to the tracks to the tracks of death!
"Why did you have to do this what have we ever done to you why did you do it" cryed the little boy. I felt so unhappy why had I done this the little boy was right they had never done anything to me. I rode past the boy tears still running down my face the little boy though a stone at my head and kept on throwing them. I didn't want to do this but I had to at it made me so unhappy. My Boss had told me not to let anything get in my way so I had to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I ran up to the kid and held the rifle at his head I was shaking like crazy tear were running down the boys face and he looked so scared. "Im sorry Kid" I sadly said. I pulled the trigger and shot it though the kids brain the teddy fell from his I let go of the kid and dropped him to the tracks. I drove off on my bike but before I went I looked down at the teddy I could see sadness in his face to it made me fill so sad. I looked at the dead bodys in the train but some people still moved I shout my rifle loads of times then they stopped moving. I could see the sadness in the faces of the people,the sadness of death of death,the sadness of were they going to live. This was all my fault I had killed these people and it was all my fault the train crash,the killings,the killing of the child why had I done this I could not live anymore I pulled my pistol out my bag and held it at my head I shot the gun into my head I blew a hole into my head and fell to the tracks to the tracks of death!