The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
The sirens rang the guns shot I stood there screaming. What was happening I felt bullets hitting falling back to the ground then. "Huh what" I screamed. I was sitting up in my bed sweat dripped from my head. My breathing was really quick I looked around my room. The curtains blew back and forth. The T.V was on there was a movie on with a police helicopter flying over a building and people shooting at it. I heard a smash downstairs I stood there being quite. Then there was another smash I grabbed my baseball bat. I ran madly down the stairs screaming "Get out get out now whos ever here". I ran in to my kicthen there stood a man blood red eyes. Staring right at me I smashed my baseball round his head and he fell to the floor. Everything went in to slow-motion the man dropped the bag he had in his hand and the glass all fell out and smashed to the ground.
There was knifes in the bag my PS2,my best plates he had stolen so much from me. I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him across the floor to the front door. I picked him up and threw him though the air out the front door he smashed to the ground on to the snow. I walked outside I didn't know what to expect I that cold winter night. The snow dropped from the sky the snow was so deep I saw the man laying there sinking in the snow. I walked down the road and saw another man trying to get in my window. I ran over to him I smashed him in the head and he fell to the floor I picked him up and threw him on top of the other man. I walked down the road a Police Car sped past the sirens ringing in my ears. I ran down the road more men ran towards me with knifes I kicked one in the face he fell back and smashed his head on the floor blood dripped from the mans head. Another one ran towards me with a knife I grabbed the knife ripped it from his hand. I flipped him upside down and he splatted to the floor his legs cracked and the bones popped out.
Three man were running towards me I jumped over a fence and ran though a garden. I ran in to a shed and hid there waiting for the men. I heard someone run past and I ducked down so they couldn't see though the window. "He's not here lets go now" Thundered one of the men. I sat there on that cold winter night waiting for those men those men did find me on that cold winter night I died on that Cold winter night when the men killed me on that cold winter night. This story was writen on a cold winter night and tonight is a cold winter night!
There was knifes in the bag my PS2,my best plates he had stolen so much from me. I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him across the floor to the front door. I picked him up and threw him though the air out the front door he smashed to the ground on to the snow. I walked outside I didn't know what to expect I that cold winter night. The snow dropped from the sky the snow was so deep I saw the man laying there sinking in the snow. I walked down the road and saw another man trying to get in my window. I ran over to him I smashed him in the head and he fell to the floor I picked him up and threw him on top of the other man. I walked down the road a Police Car sped past the sirens ringing in my ears. I ran down the road more men ran towards me with knifes I kicked one in the face he fell back and smashed his head on the floor blood dripped from the mans head. Another one ran towards me with a knife I grabbed the knife ripped it from his hand. I flipped him upside down and he splatted to the floor his legs cracked and the bones popped out.
Three man were running towards me I jumped over a fence and ran though a garden. I ran in to a shed and hid there waiting for the men. I heard someone run past and I ducked down so they couldn't see though the window. "He's not here lets go now" Thundered one of the men. I sat there on that cold winter night waiting for those men those men did find me on that cold winter night I died on that Cold winter night when the men killed me on that cold winter night. This story was writen on a cold winter night and tonight is a cold winter night!
OK, I suppose the difference is that Dostoevsky was was 'only' amazingly good.
Thanks!
Crossbob, you are, unconciously or not, becoming one of the most surreal writers in your time. It is truly incredible how well you have implemented the unrealistic ways your characters react with the plot of your story. You could be the next Dostoyevsky (I know I that's the wrong spelling) or even better!
The last line is so chilling. Get it? Chilling... ahahaha.
So much violence from the greatest storyteller ever known. I particularly like the emphasis on "Cold winter night" near the end.
Great stuff, but no match for The Finding.
'Huh what' I screamed.
The sirens rang the guns shot I stood there screaming. What was happening I felt bullets hitting falling back to the ground then. "Huh what" I screamed. I was sitting up in my bed sweat dripped from my head. My breathing was really quick I looked around my room. The curtains blew back and forth. The T.V was on there was a movie on with a police helicopter flying over a building and people shooting at it. I heard a smash downstairs I stood there being quite. Then there was another smash I grabbed my baseball bat. I ran madly down the stairs screaming "Get out get out now whos ever here". I ran in to my kicthen there stood a man blood red eyes. Staring right at me I smashed my baseball round his head and he fell to the floor. Everything went in to slow-motion the man dropped the bag he had in his hand and the glass all fell out and smashed to the ground.
There was knifes in the bag my PS2,my best plates he had stolen so much from me. I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him across the floor to the front door. I picked him up and threw him though the air out the front door he smashed to the ground on to the snow. I walked outside I didn't know what to expect I that cold winter night. The snow dropped from the sky the snow was so deep I saw the man laying there sinking in the snow. I walked down the road and saw another man trying to get in my window. I ran over to him I smashed him in the head and he fell to the floor I picked him up and threw him on top of the other man. I walked down the road a Police Car sped past the sirens ringing in my ears. I ran down the road more men ran towards me with knifes I kicked one in the face he fell back and smashed his head on the floor blood dripped from the mans head. Another one ran towards me with a knife I grabbed the knife ripped it from his hand. I flipped him upside down and he splatted to the floor his legs cracked and the bones popped out.
Three man were running towards me I jumped over a fence and ran though a garden. I ran in to a shed and hid there waiting for the men. I heard someone run past and I ducked down so they couldn't see though the window. "He's not here lets go now" Thundered one of the men. I sat there on that cold winter night waiting for those men those men did find me on that cold winter night I died on that Cold winter night when the men killed me on that cold winter night. This story was writen on a cold winter night and tonight is a cold winter night!
There was knifes in the bag my PS2,my best plates he had stolen so much from me. I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him across the floor to the front door. I picked him up and threw him though the air out the front door he smashed to the ground on to the snow. I walked outside I didn't know what to expect I that cold winter night. The snow dropped from the sky the snow was so deep I saw the man laying there sinking in the snow. I walked down the road and saw another man trying to get in my window. I ran over to him I smashed him in the head and he fell to the floor I picked him up and threw him on top of the other man. I walked down the road a Police Car sped past the sirens ringing in my ears. I ran down the road more men ran towards me with knifes I kicked one in the face he fell back and smashed his head on the floor blood dripped from the mans head. Another one ran towards me with a knife I grabbed the knife ripped it from his hand. I flipped him upside down and he splatted to the floor his legs cracked and the bones popped out.
Three man were running towards me I jumped over a fence and ran though a garden. I ran in to a shed and hid there waiting for the men. I heard someone run past and I ducked down so they couldn't see though the window. "He's not here lets go now" Thundered one of the men. I sat there on that cold winter night waiting for those men those men did find me on that cold winter night I died on that Cold winter night when the men killed me on that cold winter night. This story was writen on a cold winter night and tonight is a cold winter night!