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(tis long so be warned, and before u start about how sad i am for writing this on new year's eve, i did it a few days ago and just got round to posting it so nerrrrrr, that and i've got horrible flu so can't go out)
*People come in and sit down around the desk*
Vince - Right everyone glad to have you he........
*a screeching voice fills the room*
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vince - what the hell was that? Someone skinning a cat? Guys you know how trigger happy the WWF are with the lawsuits.
Jim Ross - Ermmm it's just Stephanie, Mr McMahon
Vince - Oh ......... but make a side note for April, i think that's the normal 6 month waiting period inbetween lawsuits from them.......... What is it honey?
Steph - There's something not right here, the memo only had 5 peoples name on it but there's six people in here.
Vince - hmmm you're right. Let's see we've got me, you, Jim Ross, John Laurinitis and of course HHH and ......... hmmm who's this guy in the dark hood with the ponytail sticking out. Reveal yourself!!!!
Paul Heyman - Oh ok, fine Vince you got me sneaking into another meeting. God forbid you should have any decent storyline suggestions.
Vince - You're damn right!!! We have all the creative talent we need right here with HHH and John. Get out of here right now, as your punishment i'm suspending you with pay again for a number of months
PH - Hehe, works every time............Sorry Mr McMahon i won't do it again.
*Heyman leaves*
Vince - right back on with the meeting. Now i'm sure you're all aware that 2004 was a great year for us with HHH holding the belt for the majority of the year once again taking our profits through the roof and the continued productivity of great wrestlers coming in from OVW.
Jim Ross - Ermmm actually Vince buy rates and ratings are at really low points, even the English events weren't totally sold out and most of the new talent from OVW hasn't worked out
Vince - What?!? But what about my great plan to give my son in the law the belt yet again and demanding that every new wrestler we bring in should be over 6'2 and 250 pounds
Laurintis - Well ermmmm apparently those guys just aren't talented enough. I mean some can't even fall through the ropes properly.
JR - And if you look at these figures you'll see HHH is one of the lowest drawing champs when you compare them to other guys we've given the ball to and told them to run with it.
HHH - That's damn lies JR!!! I'm the best damn champ in the business ever, forget about your so called 'figures' and 'statistics' we all know the business goes through highs and lows.......ahem
JR - Well it's strange how those lows started when you began to dominate the show
HHH - What!!! Who can't like my 20 minute promos of saying the same things i've said for 9 years? Or my matches which are exactly the same every time? It's what the fans want isn't it Vince?
Vince - Well ermm....
Steph - Daddy .....*flutters eye lids at Vince and puts on sad face*
Vince - *cough* of course it is JR dammit, don't bring that point up again. Right first act of our strategy to improve the WWE for this year - 4 more title reigns for HHH
HHH and Steph - Yay daddy!!!!
JR and JL - *sighs*
Vince - right about this ECW PPV, what shall we do with it? Hmmm Heyman might have been useful for this
Steph - nonsense daddy i've got some great suggestions. Why not scrap Heyman all together and let me run it. I can bring in some wrestlers from our company and have them beat the old ECW talent.
JR - So kind of like every RAW then
Steph - NO!!!! It'll be totally different, in fact i may be able to persuade HHH to show up and suppress someone.
HHH - Beating someone for no reason? Hmmm i don't know Steph ....... *whispers* count me in baby
Vince - Sounds great!!!! Right next order of business, new talent. How's the search going John
JL - Well you didn't give me much to work with Vince, believe it or not there's not many 6'5 plus guys who are actually any good despite the fact all you want them to be able to do is punch for 90% of the match. However there are people like AJ Styles, Chris Daniels, Low Ki who would improve the company so much
Vince - hmmmm sounds good. And i take it they follow my requirement? over 6 foot 2 and 250 pounds?
JL - well ermmmm not really
Vince - forget it then
JL - but Vince they can actually wrest......
Vince - dammit i said no!!!!
HHH - Don't worry Vince you've still got me.........I know what would draw ratings, me and Batista, i can just imagine that selling out every arena in the world
JR - Yes if they were held in phone booths and even then you'll struggle
HHH - Oh shut up JR before i punch you in your fat Oklahama face who knows where everyone has played college football, you don't have your boy Steve Austin to vouch for you now. I guarentee to you Vince it'll bring in millions. Or if not what about me vs Shawn Michaels part 39583704 The fans want to see that again.
Vince - hmmmmm
Steph - oh please daddy *flutters eye lids again*
Vince - oh ok then Once we're done with you and Randy Orton at Mania we'll finally get round to breaking up Evolution after a years teasing and you can fight Batista. Then once you've supp......i mean beaten him we'll do another 6 month drama with you and Shawn.
Steph and HHH - Hurrah!!!
Vince - Now anymore ideas to improve the business
HHH - well i got what i want so screw it, let's go Steph i've got to 'thank' you. Laters losers
Steph - woo hoo. See you later daddy
*steph and HHH leave*
Vince - hmmmmm damn i wish Shane would come back ......... right anyone got any ideas
JL - Well......
Vince - that only involve wrestlers over 6 foot
JL - Never mind then
Vince - aha!!!!! i've got it!!! What a fantastic brilliant idea
JR - My gawd Vince what is it another peadophilia angle?? that went over so well last time
Vince - What is it the fans want more than anything else?
JR - Exciting matches?
JL - Wrestlers who can string 2 moves together?
JR - Decent womens wrestlers instead of little barbie dolls who can't act?
Vince - God no what crazy ideas. What the fans want more then anything is ............ to be told they're a bunch of racists and idiots
JR and JL - ermmmm
Vince - La Resistance was the most successful gimmick in 2004 let's take it up a notch with Mohammed Hassan. Let's call half the country a bunch of racists and bigots and make a gimmick out of 9/11. It'll draw in millions!!!!!!
JR - Ermmm Vince i don't think......
Vince - *humming to the O-Jays hit* money, money, money. MONEY!!!!! ....... ermm what was that JR?
JR - *sighs* never mind.
Vince - great. Well go on then JL, go tell Hassan the great news. Oh and on your way tell JBL he's got another 12 month title reign to look forward to and Heidenrich will be his opponent for all 12 of those months. Meeting adjourned
*JR and JL leave*
Vince - Ah yes, it'll be a great year for the WWE.
(tis long so be warned, and before u start about how sad i am for writing this on new year's eve, i did it a few days ago and just got round to posting it so nerrrrrr, that and i've got horrible flu so can't go out)
*People come in and sit down around the desk*
Vince - Right everyone glad to have you he........
*a screeching voice fills the room*
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vince - what the hell was that? Someone skinning a cat? Guys you know how trigger happy the WWF are with the lawsuits.
Jim Ross - Ermmm it's just Stephanie, Mr McMahon
Vince - Oh ......... but make a side note for April, i think that's the normal 6 month waiting period inbetween lawsuits from them.......... What is it honey?
Steph - There's something not right here, the memo only had 5 peoples name on it but there's six people in here.
Vince - hmmm you're right. Let's see we've got me, you, Jim Ross, John Laurinitis and of course HHH and ......... hmmm who's this guy in the dark hood with the ponytail sticking out. Reveal yourself!!!!
Paul Heyman - Oh ok, fine Vince you got me sneaking into another meeting. God forbid you should have any decent storyline suggestions.
Vince - You're damn right!!! We have all the creative talent we need right here with HHH and John. Get out of here right now, as your punishment i'm suspending you with pay again for a number of months
PH - Hehe, works every time............Sorry Mr McMahon i won't do it again.
*Heyman leaves*
Vince - right back on with the meeting. Now i'm sure you're all aware that 2004 was a great year for us with HHH holding the belt for the majority of the year once again taking our profits through the roof and the continued productivity of great wrestlers coming in from OVW.
Jim Ross - Ermmm actually Vince buy rates and ratings are at really low points, even the English events weren't totally sold out and most of the new talent from OVW hasn't worked out
Vince - What?!? But what about my great plan to give my son in the law the belt yet again and demanding that every new wrestler we bring in should be over 6'2 and 250 pounds
Laurintis - Well ermmmm apparently those guys just aren't talented enough. I mean some can't even fall through the ropes properly.
JR - And if you look at these figures you'll see HHH is one of the lowest drawing champs when you compare them to other guys we've given the ball to and told them to run with it.
HHH - That's damn lies JR!!! I'm the best damn champ in the business ever, forget about your so called 'figures' and 'statistics' we all know the business goes through highs and lows.......ahem
JR - Well it's strange how those lows started when you began to dominate the show
HHH - What!!! Who can't like my 20 minute promos of saying the same things i've said for 9 years? Or my matches which are exactly the same every time? It's what the fans want isn't it Vince?
Vince - Well ermm....
Steph - Daddy .....*flutters eye lids at Vince and puts on sad face*
Vince - *cough* of course it is JR dammit, don't bring that point up again. Right first act of our strategy to improve the WWE for this year - 4 more title reigns for HHH
HHH and Steph - Yay daddy!!!!
JR and JL - *sighs*
Vince - right about this ECW PPV, what shall we do with it? Hmmm Heyman might have been useful for this
Steph - nonsense daddy i've got some great suggestions. Why not scrap Heyman all together and let me run it. I can bring in some wrestlers from our company and have them beat the old ECW talent.
JR - So kind of like every RAW then
Steph - NO!!!! It'll be totally different, in fact i may be able to persuade HHH to show up and suppress someone.
HHH - Beating someone for no reason? Hmmm i don't know Steph ....... *whispers* count me in baby
Vince - Sounds great!!!! Right next order of business, new talent. How's the search going John
JL - Well you didn't give me much to work with Vince, believe it or not there's not many 6'5 plus guys who are actually any good despite the fact all you want them to be able to do is punch for 90% of the match. However there are people like AJ Styles, Chris Daniels, Low Ki who would improve the company so much
Vince - hmmmm sounds good. And i take it they follow my requirement? over 6 foot 2 and 250 pounds?
JL - well ermmmm not really
Vince - forget it then
JL - but Vince they can actually wrest......
Vince - dammit i said no!!!!
HHH - Don't worry Vince you've still got me.........I know what would draw ratings, me and Batista, i can just imagine that selling out every arena in the world
JR - Yes if they were held in phone booths and even then you'll struggle
HHH - Oh shut up JR before i punch you in your fat Oklahama face who knows where everyone has played college football, you don't have your boy Steve Austin to vouch for you now. I guarentee to you Vince it'll bring in millions. Or if not what about me vs Shawn Michaels part 39583704 The fans want to see that again.
Vince - hmmmmm
Steph - oh please daddy *flutters eye lids again*
Vince - oh ok then Once we're done with you and Randy Orton at Mania we'll finally get round to breaking up Evolution after a years teasing and you can fight Batista. Then once you've supp......i mean beaten him we'll do another 6 month drama with you and Shawn.
Steph and HHH - Hurrah!!!
Vince - Now anymore ideas to improve the business
HHH - well i got what i want so screw it, let's go Steph i've got to 'thank' you. Laters losers
Steph - woo hoo. See you later daddy
*steph and HHH leave*
Vince - hmmmmm damn i wish Shane would come back ......... right anyone got any ideas
JL - Well......
Vince - that only involve wrestlers over 6 foot
JL - Never mind then
Vince - aha!!!!! i've got it!!! What a fantastic brilliant idea
JR - My gawd Vince what is it another peadophilia angle?? that went over so well last time
Vince - What is it the fans want more than anything else?
JR - Exciting matches?
JL - Wrestlers who can string 2 moves together?
JR - Decent womens wrestlers instead of little barbie dolls who can't act?
Vince - God no what crazy ideas. What the fans want more then anything is ............ to be told they're a bunch of racists and idiots
JR and JL - ermmmm
Vince - La Resistance was the most successful gimmick in 2004 let's take it up a notch with Mohammed Hassan. Let's call half the country a bunch of racists and bigots and make a gimmick out of 9/11. It'll draw in millions!!!!!!
JR - Ermmm Vince i don't think......
Vince - *humming to the O-Jays hit* money, money, money. MONEY!!!!! ....... ermm what was that JR?
JR - *sighs* never mind.
Vince - great. Well go on then JL, go tell Hassan the great news. Oh and on your way tell JBL he's got another 12 month title reign to look forward to and Heidenrich will be his opponent for all 12 of those months. Meeting adjourned
*JR and JL leave*
Vince - Ah yes, it'll be a great year for the WWE.