The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
One day Dolores (Who may or may not be referred to as Joe in the future depending on his clumsiness) was sitting the pimpmobile with Poison, Matt, Pumpkin and Scrivo when with a broken down TV a can full of petrol and some tissue.
“Where are we going to blow this TV up then?” said Dolores
“I eckon we shud do it up mi cave, know wot I meen like?” muttered Scrivo
“I thing we should do it near Trav so I can see him happy” babbled Pumpkin
“I think we should do it near my throat so I can destroy my voice box, then I wont have a funny voice” thundered Poison
“I think we should do it near your mothers, hoves”
“Oh look there’s a scary house, lets blow it up in there” stated Dolores
The gang all went into the house, Scrivo carrying the TV because he has big lovely electrician muscles. Matt opened the door and it creaked unbearably so Poison pulled out a bottle of WD40 and greased the hinges up nice and hard.
“There” Poison said showing a sign of great relief
Scrivo walked into the living room and jumped up and down in glee
“Loooooooooooook there too TV’s so we can make burning like yeeeeee!”
“IM A FIRESTARTER TWISTED CHILD MOLESTERER” shouted Pumpkin
The gamp smashed the TV’s cases open and put petrol inside each of them with tissue leading out.
“Lighters to the ready my chav friends” said me, Joe, Dolores
The gang lit up the tissue and the TV’s went up in a bang and a large puff of smoke. But what lurked outside watching the incident?
“Hmm those people are blowing up TV’s! I take it as my duty to teach them a lesson by locking them in that house for an hour so they don’t get hurt” said the fence
The fence then latched itself onto the garden and super sized into an immense 2 feet high 3 metre long contraption. After the TV’s had sparked out the gang walked to the window to survey the surroundings.
“Oh dear god that fence wasn’t there before!” Exclaimed Matt
“God we cant go out there it’s the spawn of hell” said Dolores
Everyone seemed to agree but before anyone could stop him Scrivo went out there to confront the so called spawn of hell.
“Oi yoo tramp lik get outa my way like”
“No you did wrong” replied the fence
“Fook me your indestructible!1111”
Scrivo knowing they could be there for days missing his joint time smacked himself over the head with his electrician shoes sending him flying in the air and landing on a spike randomly placed on the grass.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCRIIIIIIIIIVVVVOOOOOO” the gang hummed the gang in harmony.
“Wow Scrivo death gave us great harmony lets sit here for an hour and think about how to get past that fence” said Dolores
The gang agreed….three hours later their plan was full proof now to select someone to do it.
“Its agreed Poison goes”
“What? I cant do that I have a funny voice.” stated Poison
The gang looked at Poison so instinctively Poison put up no fight so I didn’t have to write more bad dialogue. Poison ran outside and went for the fences gate but suddenly just over the horizon Pablo Aimar blasted volleys of footballs at Poison, him knowing death was certain ripped out his voice box and died in shock.
“Yey” said the gang in the dullest tone ever to exist.
Then Pumpkin got caught looking at pictures of Trav so Matt beat him to death a pierced cola can and threw a tin of quick dry sealant at the at the fence.
“Quick dry sealant that shall have no name due to copyrighting, does what it says on the tin” stated Matt
The Matt and Dolores made love.
The End
Hey ma get me some PIE............yeah i wan sum pumkin pie!
And not Poison's appearance on the forums.
p.s. merry christmas and a happy new year
Dolores, you disgrace me, you disgrace the family.
ples mr dolores can we have more, but this time involving a magic clock that can stop time....this watch shall be named bernards watch!
and can Pablo Aimar die ples.
One day Dolores (Who may or may not be referred to as Joe in the future depending on his clumsiness) was sitting the pimpmobile with Poison, Matt, Pumpkin and Scrivo when with a broken down TV a can full of petrol and some tissue.
“Where are we going to blow this TV up then?” said Dolores
“I eckon we shud do it up mi cave, know wot I meen like?” muttered Scrivo
“I thing we should do it near Trav so I can see him happy” babbled Pumpkin
“I think we should do it near my throat so I can destroy my voice box, then I wont have a funny voice” thundered Poison
“I think we should do it near your mothers, hoves”
“Oh look there’s a scary house, lets blow it up in there” stated Dolores
The gang all went into the house, Scrivo carrying the TV because he has big lovely electrician muscles. Matt opened the door and it creaked unbearably so Poison pulled out a bottle of WD40 and greased the hinges up nice and hard.
“There” Poison said showing a sign of great relief
Scrivo walked into the living room and jumped up and down in glee
“Loooooooooooook there too TV’s so we can make burning like yeeeeee!”
“IM A FIRESTARTER TWISTED CHILD MOLESTERER” shouted Pumpkin
The gamp smashed the TV’s cases open and put petrol inside each of them with tissue leading out.
“Lighters to the ready my chav friends” said me, Joe, Dolores
The gang lit up the tissue and the TV’s went up in a bang and a large puff of smoke. But what lurked outside watching the incident?
“Hmm those people are blowing up TV’s! I take it as my duty to teach them a lesson by locking them in that house for an hour so they don’t get hurt” said the fence
The fence then latched itself onto the garden and super sized into an immense 2 feet high 3 metre long contraption. After the TV’s had sparked out the gang walked to the window to survey the surroundings.
“Oh dear god that fence wasn’t there before!” Exclaimed Matt
“God we cant go out there it’s the spawn of hell” said Dolores
Everyone seemed to agree but before anyone could stop him Scrivo went out there to confront the so called spawn of hell.
“Oi yoo tramp lik get outa my way like”
“No you did wrong” replied the fence
“Fook me your indestructible!1111”
Scrivo knowing they could be there for days missing his joint time smacked himself over the head with his electrician shoes sending him flying in the air and landing on a spike randomly placed on the grass.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCRIIIIIIIIIVVVVOOOOOO” the gang hummed the gang in harmony.
“Wow Scrivo death gave us great harmony lets sit here for an hour and think about how to get past that fence” said Dolores
The gang agreed….three hours later their plan was full proof now to select someone to do it.
“Its agreed Poison goes”
“What? I cant do that I have a funny voice.” stated Poison
The gang looked at Poison so instinctively Poison put up no fight so I didn’t have to write more bad dialogue. Poison ran outside and went for the fences gate but suddenly just over the horizon Pablo Aimar blasted volleys of footballs at Poison, him knowing death was certain ripped out his voice box and died in shock.
“Yey” said the gang in the dullest tone ever to exist.
Then Pumpkin got caught looking at pictures of Trav so Matt beat him to death a pierced cola can and threw a tin of quick dry sealant at the at the fence.
“Quick dry sealant that shall have no name due to copyrighting, does what it says on the tin” stated Matt
The Matt and Dolores made love.
The End